Reflections
by Kumoashi
Summary: An AU story. The war in Wutai has just ended, and the sky's the limit for Sephiroth and Cloud. But there are dark clouds in the horizon. SxC. Humour, angst, romance and all that jazz, with a healthy doze of Zack.
1. Prologue: Fighting

**As of 10th July 2010, I'm re-uploading this whole story with proper editing, as the lines indicating change of scene etc. have disappeared at some point. Sure, it's still readable like that, but I'm an anal bastard and want it to look better, and it does make reading easier, I think. So here we go! **

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy 7, its characters and their likenesses and the locations belong to Square. I'm just writing for fun. This story will be drama/weirdness/shonen-ai/etc, with a dash of oocness.

This is alternate universe yet again. I had the basic plot in mind for a long time, and when I tried to avoid doing an especially boring school assignment I started to write it down, and continued writing when I'd get stuck with Blood of the Innocents. English isn't my first language and I tend to write at a pretty late hour, so there are bound to be mistakes. And weirdness.

The long horizontal line (like the one below) indicates a change of scene or point of view.

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**Prologue.**

**Fighting**

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Night fell upon no man's land between barb-wire fences and trenches. The air was heavy with smoke, dust and the occasional cloud of mist which chilled the watchmen to the bone. The sky hung dark above it all, uncaring of their petty fights, small lives that were lost every day. So many lives wasted, so many bodies lying on the fields, stuck to the barb-wire, blown to pieces all over the battlefield. Still, no matter how few were still alive, there was never enough food or fresh water. Not enough clean, warm clothes, not enough bullets or guns.

In the trenches the men huddled together to keep warm, their feet soaked through with the two inches of muddy water making sure that it was never truly dry there. During the days the hot spring sun beat upon them, and the smell of decay got so bad that the soldiers couldn't eat even the small amounts of nourishment that were still left. But the nights were cold, so cold that they could see their own breath, so cold that the water around their feet started to freeze over the shallower puddles.

"Why won't they just give up? Stubborn bastards..." the young lookout would much rather have been inside, warming his feet by the fire.

"Because they're just that. Stubborn. Now shut up and keep an eye on the field." His older companion dreamed of a clean bed, but knew better than to complain.

"The field is covered with pea soup mist. They have maybe twenty able men left. They can't have much food or water. Even if they were stupid enough to attack now, they'd probably get lost getting here."

"Don't count on it, kid."

"Oh come on... we hit them hard the last time, they wouldn't try to attack. If they're smart, they'll give up come morning." The young man let his thoughts wander from the battlefield to back home, but the older lookout elbowed him sharply on the ribs.

"I said, don't count on it, kid. We didn't get the big guy."

"Yeah but even he can't kill us alone... can he? He can't. That's stupid." The youth was almost laughing now, even though it was a nervous sound. His companion smiled as well.

"No, but he's a smart one. We should have gotten them all by now, we would have, if it weren't for him."

"He's a scary bastard. I almost met him on the field one day."

"Almost?" The older man turned to the younger, one eyebrow raised with amusement.

"Yeah. I backed off when I saw him coming closer. What, you think I'm stupid enough to try to fight him? Ha!"

"Not so loud. There. Did you see that?" he pointed to the battlefield. A few hundred yards ahead was the enemy's side, invisible because of the mist and darkness. The youth followed his pointing hand but only shook his head.

"What? I didn't see anything."

"I thought I saw a flash of light." He reached slowly for his gun.

"Should I sound the alarm?" The youth managed to keep the quiver from his voice, staring intently at the misty field which still seemed empty to his eye.

There was no answer from his companion.

"Do you still see it?" The youth asked, straining to see or hear anything out of the ordinary. When there still was no answer, he turned quickly to the older man. His scream got stuck into his throat when he saw the older man slump to the ground, blood pouring out of his mouth and chest, where a sword was being pulled back. He tried to shout, to raise the men, to warn them of the surprise attack, but the sword was suddenly flying towards his own throat, and the world went red.

* * *

"They're all dead." The young man frowned, eyes still closed, and let out a long sigh. "The war is over. We've won, if you can call that any kind of a victory." His last words were just a whisper, drowned out by the cheering of the troops around him. Only the injured were in the barracks with him, the rest having gone over in a last, mad attack. If they would have lost this one, they'd lost everything.

Hands clasped his uninjured shoulder or patted him on the back, but he gave them little heed, too tired of it all. His helmet and armour had weighed his slight frame down and slumped his shoulders, even though they had been like a second skin on him for so long. The war was over. Maybe he could shed it now, even just for a while. Get away from the meaningless killing, have a holiday or two in some remote place where there still were happy people and food and where war was just an ugly rumour, something that happened to other people.

The jubilating soldiers left him eventually as they were finally able to wander beyond the fences and get their dead back. He finally dared to open one blurry eye, his mind weary after casting the sense-spell large and long enough to see that the invaders had all died. At least he could think that the men they'd lost had not died in vain, protecting their land and its people. But the other side, he couldn't help feeling sorry for them. They'd died because of foolish pride, so that the men who ruled their land could become richer and more powerful. In winning this battle, they would have gained nothing for the good of the common people. Nothing at all.

"Times like these... I really do wonder why the gods above don't just wipe us all out..."

"Because their sense of humour is sick, and they enjoy watching us bicker and suffer and gain what we think is important."

He whirled around, startled but also relieved as he recognized the voice, knowing that no stranger had heard him thinking out loud. A smile rose to his thin lips, cheeks blushing a bit as the taller man stepped into the bunker, still muddy and bloody from the battle but radiating relief and power.

"You can relax and rest now, love. It's all over."

"Until next time..." he muttered but sighed happily as two strong arms wrapped around him and held him safe, careful not to hurt his splintered arm. "I love you, Seph..."

"And I love you, my Cloud..."

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**A.N: **Ahum. Dat's the prologue. Yeah. Sephiroth will be quite different from usual, but this might be what he'd ended up as if he'd grown up in a loving environment, in stead of Hojo and the labs. And if you've read my other story you'll know that I love to swear... This will be another long one, and there's a long story behind it.

Review and I'll love you forever. Such a bitch for attention.


	2. Chapter 1: Relaxing

Square owns the characters, their likenesses and the locations. Not me, I just write this for fun, not for money. Not even for cookies. Or peanuts. I'm hungry, dang it.

I'll warn you again, this is shounen-ai, ok?

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**Chapter One**

**Relaxing**

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The parade and most of the victorious speeches were finally over, but the festivities were still going on in the houses and on the streets. Cloud watched it all through a window and stretched his healed arm in the spacious sleeve of his kimono, groaning quietly as bone and muscle protested being moved. It would still take a few weeks before he could use his sword as well as before, but he didn't really mind. The invaders had been pushed back, and even if ShinRa wanted to attack again, it would be months, maybe years before they'd be able to gather enough of an army to be a serious threat. The Wutaians could enjoy the peace for a while now.

He loved the place, especially now when it was peaceful, but he'd fallen in love with Wutai during the war. Cloud wasn't a native, but he had started to wish he was. After everything he'd done in the war, he guessed that no one would mind if he started to call himself one.

The war between Wutai and ShinRa had been going on for generations. No one probably knew anymore what had started it off in the first place, but the latest reason was that ShinRa wanted the land. This particular war had been going on for a few years already when he'd been called into it. The Wutaians knew their land and could keep it, but nothing could change the fact that there were more than ten ShinRa troopers to one Wutaian. The invaders had started to make slow but sure progress, ending up threatening the main city of the small continent.

The door to the room opened quietly and Cloud tilted his head a little, listening to the footsteps, recognizing Sephiroth immediately. He had been expecting a maid, coming in to ask if he was alright and if he needed anything. Why did they have to ask that every five minutes? Just because he'd been too tired to sit with Lord Godo and politicians for yet a sixth hour they assumed that he was just about to die. He had felt kind of guilty, though, leaving Sephiroth to the mercy of the boring old men. Lord Godo had himself lead the troops to war for the first year or so, until he had been injured severely, but the politicians were your usual group of pedants and penny pinchers.

Sephiroth stopped just behind him, looking out of the window over his head, lifting one hand to his shoulder. "Love, are you-"

"If you ask if I'm alright, I swear I'll do what every ShinRa dog dreamed of for the last few years and finally cut your head off, Sephiroth." Cloud quickly said, making the older man chuckle. Hand left the shoulder to ruffle the stubborn blond spikes of his hair.

"I was going to ask if you're up for a wrestle match in the bedroom, but since you're like that, I'll take it back..." the general whispered to his ear, making the short hairs in the back of Cloud's neck stand up.

"Tease."

Sephiroth had been fighting in the war after the first year. He was a native Wutaian, his mother's family line going back centuries, even though his father had been a foreigner. He had long, silvery hair that cascaded freely down to his hips, and jade eyes that almost glowed. He'd realized at a very young age that he was a natural fighter and strategist, and had gone to his father's homeland in the north, to find his family and to learn how to best use his skills. There he had been approached by a group that called itself the Peacemakers, even though they were all elite soldiers and spellcasters. But they had sworn to only raise their weapons to accomplish peace, not to sow more war. Sephiroth had accepted, feeling that their ideals were similar to his. He had studied and fought with the group for over five years, after which he'd trained others and fought in a few battles, until the war in his home had brought him back. About a year of futile fighting later, when he'd realized how grave the situation was turning to, he'd contacted the Peacemakers and asked for them to send some help. They had sent him Cloud.

When he'd first seen the short, skinny blond boy with a sword as heavy as he was and almost as tall, Sephiroth had wondered if this was some sort of a joke. But Cloud had given him a letter from the leaders of the small group, stating that he was an excellent spellcaster and a good swordsman to boot. And, at the moment, the only one the group could afford to send, most of them on other assignments.

Cloud was mainly a spellcaster, and even though they sometimes trained with the fighters, the members of the two clans, as they were called, rarely knew a lot of each other. Sephiroth couldn't remember ever seeing the boy before, but had soon noticed that he was indeed worth the trust the group had in him. A few more Peacemakers had been sent during the next months. Slowly the tide of war had started to turn again and they had almost crushed their enemy a few weeks earlier, until a suicide attacker from ShinRa's side had gotten inside their lines and exploded in the middle of their shabby barracks, killing a third of the small number they'd had left. Cloud had been unfortunately close to the explosion, his right arm had been broken in two places, leaving him unable to use his sword or cast most of his more powerful spells. But the attack had angered the Wutaians to their limit. With their innate stubbornness and sheer rage, they'd gone over the lines in a wild rush, and destroyed the invaders to the last man. It had been a massacre, but a necessary one. Sephiroth had led the attack while Cloud had used his powers to hide them from the enemy's eyes until they were close. And they had won.

How the two of them had become lovers was another story.

They stood still for a while, just watching the happy people around the town. The apartment they'd been given for as long as they wanted to stay in Wutai was on the second floor of a large, midtown building. Actually, the apartment WAS the second floor, and the house was larger than most because it had more than three floors. Only the pagoda just outside town was higher.

Cloud let out a happy sigh. The war was over, they'd had a week of nothing but rest after it, and now all they had to do was sit back and enjoy the festivities and watch life turn back to normal, only with the exception that there weren't many men left in the country, only children and old men and those who had been sent home after being injured too badly to fight anymore. But everyone knew that ShinRa wouldn't be able to attack again anytime soon, and that was enough for now.

"Do you wish he was here?" The small blond finally broke the silence, actually startling the general.

"Hmm? Who?"

"Zack."

"Oh." Sephiroth smiled a little, thinking of his most promising student yet. "Well I wouldn't mind seeing him, but the company had some other job for him to take care of, more suitable for his skills than this war. And I wouldn't have wanted him witnessing all that."

Just before leaving the Peacemakers for a mission Sephiroth had taken a student, a young man from a small nowheresville called Gongaga. The boy was called Zack and he had shown great promise and a good spirit for fighting and, more importantly, diplomacy, getting along with all kinds of people. He and Sephiroth had taken a liking to each other immediately, and the boy had left with him, deciding to rather learn all he could from him in real life battles than staying in the barracks. Zack had been given an assignment of a more diplomatic nature a few months before Sephiroth had left to the war, but they had been in touch constantly with letters and telegrams. And the general had talked so much of him that Cloud felt he already knew Zack even though he'd never met the man.

"But you don't mind that I had to see all of it?" Cloud asked, smiling slightly although he knew that the general couldn't see him. Two strong arms wrapped around him and a kiss was planted on his bare neck, sending shivers up and down his spine. He had to close his eyes and fight back a happy purr.

"Love, you know that if I could protect you from all that is wrong in this world, I would." Sephiroth whispered quietly and earnestly into his ear.

"I know." Cloud whispered back and turned around, moving as little as possible, not wanting to lose the feeling of the strong arms around him. He leaned his head against the taller man's chest and listened to the strong heartbeats. The war was really over, and they could just stand like this without fearing that a surprise attack or an incoming missile would interrupt them.

"Too bad that you're just too stubborn to stay out of harm's way..."

"Meanie."

"You know, I do believe that it was your incredible wit and your way with words that attracted me so much in the beginning..." Sephiroth was now fighting back laughter while Cloud punched him in the gut lightly. The general pretended that he'd taken nothing less than a killing hit to the stomach and stumbled backwards, moaning and gasping for air. The spellcaster pouted and crossed his arms over his chest, but soon a smile fought and won the pout.

Sephiroth finally collapsed into a pile of pillows on the floor, rubbing his stomach. "Love, I think your arm is fine." He sat up and smiled like a Cheshire cat. "Now how about you use it to get rid of that over-sized kimono and scoot on over here..."

Some time later, the maid guessed that they didn't need anything and rushed away, the noises of pleasure audible through the closed door.

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Days moved on in Wutai, slow and peaceful as the flow of life turned back to building and sowing in stead of burying and fighting. Sephiroth went to visit his mother's family and introduced Cloud to them, also showing him where his father was buried. Lady Meriko hadn't taken part in the war herself, but had donated most of her money, jewels and all the food the household could spare to the fighters. She had been thrilled to meet the man who had captured her son's heart, even though she had regretted the fact that she wouldn't have any grandchildren to play with. But eventually, her son's happiness meant more, and in days when the Wutaians once again were just thrilled to be alive, she had given their love her blessing and welcomed the blond to her family.

"I'm still sure your great aunt cursed me somehow..." Cloud muttered as they lounged in a chocobo-carriage, on their way back to the town of Wutai. "She kept giving me odd looks. The evil eye." He made an evil face, trying to imitate the old woman. Sephiroth shook his head, amused, and kissed the blond spikes.

"Don't mind her, love, she's a bit too conservative for her own good. Mother thought you were a doll."

"A what?" The spellcaster frowned and sat up, leaving his lover slouching on the pillows, holding the reins casually.

The general shrugged and leaned on the pillows the younger man had vacated. "A sweetheart. Cute. A doll. Auntie just can't understand that you're not a girl. But it's her problem, not ours. Now come back here, my body is missing you already!"

The blond smiled and laid back down on the soft floor of the small carriage, curling up to a little ball inside the languid 'c' his lover was forming. The chocobo knew the way back to town, they didn't need to give it directions as it jogged over the uneven terrain. The carriage was well suspended and just swayed a little, like a cradle.

"Seph?"

"Yes?"

"Are you really planning on leaving back to north next week? Already?"

The silver-haired man got up to lean on his elbow, looking down at the blue eyes. "Well, yes. I've been away for about four years now, and I'm sure they'd all like to see what's become of you. We should report in, before they send someone after us."

Cloud nodded slowly and stretched. "All right. It's just a shame that we have to leave here so soon. So soon after the war ended, I mean. I would have liked to see more of Wutai."

"Don't worry, love..." Sephiroth muttered, smiling, and lay back down after glancing to see if they were still far from town. Still a few more hours to go. "... as soon as we're done there, we can return here, or go wherever we want. No more fighting for us for the next few months, we'll be absolutely free. Maybe you'll even take me to see your home."

The blond laughed quietly and shook his head, imagining what their appearance in his home would cause. His family had always lived in a small town called Nibelheim, around the middle of what was called the Great Western Continent. The name was given by ShinRa, of course, to whom the continent of Wutai, the real western continent, was just more land to be conquered. "I don't know if they'd be as thrilled to meet you as your family was to meet me. But it would be good to see home again."

"You've never told me much about your home and family." Sephiroth muttered and buried his head into the golden-blond spikes, twirling the long braid around his fingers.

"There isn't much to tell. My father and brother died in a far-off war when I was just a child. We've always been warriors, generation after generation gone off to war and rarely returned. Mom never liked it much, and wasn't too thrilled when I said I want to learn how to fight as well. She was a bit more pleased when I became a spellcaster, she thought I'd stay in the back row like all good little throwers. But nope."

"You had to go and learn the way of the sword?"

"Yep. But you know all this, and there really isn't anything more. I'm sure that Nibelheim is even smaller than the area around the pagoda. There are mountains around it, so the area is fairly large, but there were only a few families living there when I last visited. Might be that there are even fewer now."

"I'd still like to see it. Especially if they are all as cute as you are." Sephiroth said and closed his eyes as Cloud punched him playfully.

"Oh you'd like that, wouldn't you? Your very own little harem, in the middle of nowhere..."

"Ohh yes... until that, I just have to make do with you..." The general started to open Cloud's kimono, and unbutton the shirt the blond wore beneath it. Blue eyes went wide as Sephiroth's lips met his chest.

"Seph, we're in a carriage!"

"So?"

"Well, the... the chocobo might see!"

"Again, so?"

"... It might want to join us?" Cloud offered, completely flustered by now. Sephiroth pushed himself up a bit and looked at the blond with a strange expression.

"... Well, with your hair like that, it just might think you're a chocobo as well."

"Seph!"

"The chocobo won't mind, I'm sure it's heard worse. Now stop squirming, getting this thing open is hard enough as it is..."

* * *

Cloud was still sleeping soundly on the morning of their departure from Wutai, when Sephiroth, already washed, clothed and ready to leave, burst into their bedroom and pulled the curtains open, letting the warm spring sun stream into the room. The blond moaned on the bed, too comfortable and ready to sleep until midday.

"Wake up, love. We have to get ready."

Cloud just pulled the blanket over his head. Sephiroth shook his head, smirked, grabbed the sheets and yanked them off from underneath the young man, just about throwing him into the air. Cloud yelped and grabbed the blanket, wide awake as he fell back to the bed. The general leaned over him and planted a kiss just above the wide blue eyes.

"Hurry now, you don't want to miss the ceremonies. Lord Godo intends to send us off with a bang."

"Actually, that sounds scary. Is he going to shoot us out of a cannon or something?" Cloud muttered, yawned and reluctantly got up. Sephiroth was already throwing him some clothes and finishing packing the rest.

"I have some good news, I just got a message from Zack, he'll also be returning from his mission. You'll finally get to meet him."

"Oh?" Cloud pulled a shirt over his head and stood up, trying to get his hair to resemble something like a normal human being's. Back with the Peacemakers his hair had all been long enough to be tied down neatly into the long braid that hung to the middle of his back, but when he'd entered the war, he'd cut it short in the front so that the helmet would be easier and less hot to wear. But by now the short hairs had grown enough that they stood up in stubborn spikes. Well, up, and to every other direction. "I should never have cut this..." he muttered, making Sephiroth turn around. The general smiled when he saw the reason of his lover's worries.

"But do you remember how hot it was? With the helmet, and all that hair? It's common that soldiers cut their hair like that. It'll grow."

Cloud shrugged and dropped the hopeless task. He should be happy that the biggest worry in his life at the moment was that his hair wouldn't co-operate. He braided the rest of it and got dressed. By then Sephiroth had finished packing, and they had to leave for the farewell-ceremony.

Lord Godo gave a long speech about all of the things they had done for Wutai, and how they would always be welcome back. Sephiroth responded that they had only done little, that the people of Wutai had fought the hardest. Both speeches were applauded and cheered by the gathering of townspeople. Godo's young daughter, Yuffie, presented them with small parting gifts and two chocobos to give them speed on their journey.

After many thank-you's and promises to return, they mounted the large birds and started their journey. Both had only light back bags for food and clothes, and their weapons. The colourful kimonos they'd been presented with were neatly packed in, they were both wearing more casual travel wear. The sun was shining and the world was turning green, rushing towards a peaceful summer. They were riding south, across the battlefields, towards the point where Wutai's continent was closest to the other one, where a ferry would take them over the stretch of water. From there they'd travel north, past the Nibel Mountains and a mining town called North Corel, across the deserts and mountains, all the way to the northern continent where the Peacemakers worked from, a secluded little place beyond Bone Village and the Sleeping Forest. Some said that ancient spirits, keepers of the Planet had once lived in the valley that was now the base of their operations, and only those who made it past the forest, wanting to join the group, were accepted.

It took them almost two blessedly peaceful and warm days to reach the peninsula, and another half a day for the ferry to arrive on their side. The first tourists were already aboard it, and greeted them happily, not knowing who they were. The few Wutaian merchants who crossed the water with them knew better, and even though they were very respectful towards them, the young women chatted with them for most of the journey. To be more precise, they chatted with Sephiroth while Cloud was hanging over the railing, trying not to throw up everything he'd eaten in the last two days.

"You all right, love?" Sephiroth asked quietly when the approaching shore was only a few hundred feet away from them. "We're almost there."

"... Great..." Cloud squeaked and lifted a hand. "I'm fine. Just... don't rock the boat, ok?"

"I couldn't even if I tried. I'll take care of our things and the chocobos, you concentrate on walking off this thing on your own two feet, love." Sephiroth said, fighting down a smile, knowing that even if Cloud couldn't see it, he could hear it in his voice.

"... Bite me..."

The general laughed and went to get the chocobos ready.

More tourists were waiting to board the ferry on the Western continent as the men rode off it, and straight towards east. The next day they passed one of ShinRa's bases, where they had been building a rocket of sorts, but the project had been abandoned when the latest war had become too costly. Some people, technicians and workers, still lived around it, and called their home Rocket Town. But the two men rode past it, towards the Nibel Mountains which they passed from the north. After that, it would be mostly a desert and a few mountains as they traveled almost straight to the north.

"Few more days and we'll be there." Sephiroth said as they camped for the night, having passed the Nibel Mountains around noon that day. They had agreed to visit Nibelheim after they'd leave the Peacemakers, and decide then where they wanted to go next. Cloud had been a bit disappointed when Sephiroth had suggested that they might take Zack along as well, but the general had soon taken the thought back, saying that he'd rather have THEIR holiday alone. No matter how much he liked Zack, he was looking forward to months of just the two of them.

"Well give our report, see what's going on, and head out. Sky will be the limit then, love." The silver-haired man promised, smiling at his lover. He had tied his long hair to a high warrior's ponytail again, to keep it out of his eyes. It didn't help much, but at least it kept the stubborn bangs in check.

Cloud nodded, too relaxed to say anything, too happy to just be alive. And in love. Sephiroth moved closer and wrapped an arm around the younger man's shoulders. He wasn't much older than the blond, five or six years, maybe, but the height difference made Cloud seem so young when compared to him. The spellcaster was barely five and a half feet tall, although he claimed that he was still growing. Sephiroth himself was over six feet tall, with a frame to match. He wasn't overly muscular, but very strong and fast.

And he had no problems pressing Cloud down to the large blanket they sat on. The blond didn't fight back, only smiled as the general started to kiss his neck while a hand wandered underneath his shirt.

Cloud ran his hand through the silvery hair, eyes half closed as they both started to get aroused. It brought up the weirdest thought, and the blond had to say it out loud. "You know, I bet we'd make such pretty children..."

Sephiroth's eyes flew open and he almost inhaled Cloud's long braid, so badly the thought threw him off his tracks. "What!"

"Just thinking. Wouldn't you like to have a kid with me? You know, a tiny version of the both of us..." He looked at a very baffled Sephiroth, smirked and touched the tip of the general's nose with his finger. "Gotcha."

Sephiroth roared and started to tickle the spellcaster mercilessly, rolling on top of the younger man to keep his legs from kicking. Cloud screamed with laughter and tried to squirm away, but the general managed to pin his arms above his head while one hand continued to tickle until his lover was gasping for air. Then he lowered his head to kiss the smaller man, and released the hands, bringing both of his to caress the blond's sides instead of torturing them.

Their lips parted long enough that Sephiroth could pull Cloud's shirt over his head, and then he lowered himself to the bare chest before the blond started to shiver with the evening's chill. They continued exploring each others mouths while Cloud struggled to open Sephiroth's belts and release the general from his clothes.

They made love underneath the stars and afterwards cuddled together for the night, wrapped up in their blankets, and soon fell asleep.

Morning came almost too early; the first rays of the sun woke them. They had a brief breakfast and mounted their chocobos, chatting and throwing suggestions where they might go from Nibelheim.

"I'd like to see the Gold Saucer, even though it's ShinRa's..." Cloud said, shading his eyes with an arm while Sephiroth played with his camera. They weren't going fast, there was no hurry, they let the chocobos jog along, side by side.

The silver-haired man shrugged and took a photo of his lover without Cloud noticing. "I've seen it, it's not as great as it's made out to be."

"Meanie. I've wanted to see it since I was a kid. Dad promised to take us, but then he went off to war and..." the blond trailed off and tried the puppy eyes on the general.

"All right, all right! I'll take you to the damned Gold Saucer! Happy?" Sephiroth gave in, laughing. Cloud smirked and nodded.

"Thank you, master!"

"But only because I'm too tired to fight you now... first, once isn't enough, and when you finally let me get some sleep, you keep me up all night, talking again." The general mock complained, smiling as he saw the blush creeping on Cloud's face. The blond had a habit of talking in his sleep, and Sephiroth enjoyed teasing him about it. But Cloud had learned to tease right back.

"Oh sorry, did I call someone else's name again? I was having such a... hot dream..." he looked at Sephiroth from underneath his eyelashes, almost driving the older man mad.

The general reached over and tugged at the braid, hanging on Cloud's back. "And you call me tease?"

Cloud stuck his tongue out and smirked. "Pull the other one, dear, it has bells on..."

"I think you're confusing bells with balls, love."

"Oh that is the worst joke ever!"

"I know." Sephiroth smirked but froze when there was a sudden metallic sound. He lifted his hand and the chocobos stopped before they could take another step.

"What was that..." the general muttered, cocking his head to the sight to hear better. Cloud reached for his materia and looked around. He could feel his mount shiver and let out a curious warble.

"What is it, boy? You hear something?" the spellcaster whispered and patted the bird's neck.

"Cloud. Don't move one inch. Keep him still." Sephiroth said suddenly, his voice almost unnaturally calm.

"Why?"

"He just stepped onto a landmine. Why the hell is there a landmine in the middle of the desert?" Sephiroth growled and slowly guided his mount towards the other one. Cloud froze but forced himself calm lest he'd worry the animal and make it move.

"Love..." Sephiroth was now so close they could touch hands, "very carefully, reach out to me. I'll pull you to my arms, and take off."

"But... what about him?" Cloud whispered, stroking the chocobo's neck.

"It's either it or you and it. I'd rather keep you in one piece, love." The general grinned desperately, reaching out to him, inching his mount closer whilst keeping it ready to run at any moment. Cloud slowly lifted his legs underneath him. When Sephiroth whispered a quiet "Now," he leaped into the waiting arms. The chocobo gave a startled noise but he had ordered it to stay still, and it did. Sephiroth dug his heels into his mount's sides, trying to cover Cloud with his body in case the mine went off.

Cloud looked over the general's shoulder at the puzzled animal who clearly wanted to follow its owner but also tried to obey his order. He felt tears rising to his eyes at the sight. When the animal moved, it would die. Even though he knew this was their only chance to survive themselves, he felt like he'd abandoned the gentle and loyal animal.

"Seph!" He screamed and hugged him tight when the chocobo finally moved to run after them. They were maybe thirty, forty feet from it and moving fast, but when the mine went off it threw them into the air like leaves from a tree. Sephiroth's chocobo let out a pitiful wark when it was lifted from the ground. The warrior almost crushed Cloud against his chest. Sephiroth hit the ground first, after a moment that seemed to last for a small eternity. Cloud felt like every bone in his body had been jolted out of their places just before darkness descended over both of them.

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**A.N: **Well, that went quickly from bloody to fluffy to wtf? So, what do ya think? I'll probably post a chapter per week, depending on work and stuff.

Please review!


	3. Chapter 2: Searching

Me no own. All belong to Square. This work of fiction. No profit made. Don't sue. Or Mary Sue. Make sense I do not.

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**Chapter Two**

**Searching**

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From his first days in the Peacemakers, he had been branded a good fighter and a very promising diplomat. That had almost discouraged the young man, his visual of a diplomat being a stuffy old man, sitting in a library and having long, boring conversations. He had been relieved when they'd told him that it just meant that he was exceptionally good in getting along with different people. He had known THAT all his life.

So being branded a diplomat, and becoming a student to Sephiroth, one of the best warriors he'd ever met, hadn't slowed Zackery Lindeman down one bit. He didn't even slow down now as his chocobo entered Bone Village. The dark-haired man just hooted and shouted for everyone to get out of his way. Archaeologists scattered left and right, cursing and shouting after him, but the young man paid them no heed as he raced the bird up a ladder to the upper level, leading to the feared Sleeping Forest.

Before the Peacemakers set up business here, if someone wanted to enter the Sleeping Forest he needed an artifact called the Lunar harp to wake the forest so that it would be safe to walk in. But there were not enough magical harps for every Peacemaker, so they had managed to develop a type of materia that gave out the same note as the artifact. All of them carried one, it was also something of a way to prove that you really were a member of the organisation.

Zack pulled out the thin chain that his materia hung from and activated it just as the green chocobo entered the forest.

"Come on, Jammy! Faster!" Jammy, or Jade, as it was officially called, warked loudly with excitement and ran even faster, leaving any ambushing monster wondering what just passed. She was a lot like her master, a wild chocobo who disliked boredom and quiet. They had instantly taken a liking to each other.

Zack couldn't wait to get there, mostly because he knew that Sephiroth would already be waiting. He had missed his friend and tutor, and was curious to finally meet his lover he'd heard so much about. He and Sephiroth had kept in touch, the slightly older man helping and teaching him through letters and sometimes even the PHS. But it was a completely different thing to meet face to face again.

Jammy speeded up another notch, feeling her master's excitement, and soon enough they were out of the forest again, traveling down a thin, steep road at suicide speed. One step into the wrong direction and they'd be flying. But Jammy was as surefooted as she was fast, and they arrived at the bottom of the valley in no time and without a scratch. From thereon it was a straight road to the small village itself, where the members and their families lived. Zack sped right across the streets towards the main building, throwing greetings and waving his hand at people he recognized.

The green chocobo stopped as if she'd hit a wall when they got to the building, and Zack jumped off, scratching the bird's neck and promising it treats once he'd reported that he was back. Jammy warbled happily and jogged off to a nearby lawn. The young man threw his back bag over his shoulder and stepped in through the open door, walking straight towards the master of the fighter's clan whom he spotted chatting with two spellcaster masters.

"Sir!" Zack called just before stopping in front of the two men and a woman, and threw a salute. "I'm back!"

The two spellcasters glanced at each other before turning to look at the two fighters, clearly expecting something. Zack's master nodded grimly which surprised the young man, as the master was usually relaxed and good humoured. Obviously it wasn't the case now.

"Sir? Is something wrong?" The young man asked, glancing around. After a moment, master Ranael sighed and nodded.

"Well, it might be nothing, but I doubt it. It has been over a week now."

"Sorry I'm not following." Zack frowned and shifted his weight from one leg to the other and back again. "Has something happened?"

"Sephiroth is missing. He and a spellcaster called Cloud Strife. They were supposed to return from Wutai over a week ago. A few days, that's understandable, but over a week? Sephiroth would have let us know if there was a change of plan. We haven't been able to reach them with a PHS."

"Or with a spell." The female spellcaster said, her male companion nodding gravely.

Zack, for once in his life, was completely speechless. He felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice-cold water over him. He had been looking forward to seeing his friend again so much, and now he was told that... "They... they can't be dead!" He more yelped than asked, the possible answer scaring him.

The masters looked at each other.

"It is a possibility." The male spellcaster said.

"But... but... maybe their PHS broke, and they're out of a spell's range?" Zack suggested. "I'm no thrower but spells have a range, don't they?" He looked at the master 'throwers' who looked at each other before nodding, although uncertainly.

"Maybe they had an accident. Do we know which route they were going to take?"

The fighter nodded. "Yes, and we've already sent a few people to check the route for any clues. The last time we heard from them, they were near the Nibel Mountains, so they are somewhere on their eastern side, coming towards the north."

Zack closed his eyes for a second and visualized the map, seeing what was the most likely route they would have taken. "All right. I'm going too."

"You just got here!" Master Ranael protested, but Zack shook his head and half turned to leave.

"Seph is my teacher, and a friend. I can't just sit around if he's in trouble. I'll give my report later!" With that, he turned and ran back out. Jammy answered his whistle, and after stopping at the grocery store, they were on their way again. If there really had been an accident, if something had happened to Sephiroth and Cloud, there was no time to lose.

* * *

"Okay, girl, let's take a break..." Mathew said and slid off the chocobo who warbled and started to poke the man with her beak until he gave her some greens. "Wait just a second you greedy little thing..." the man muttered lovingly and scratched the sweaty feathers on top of her head. "It's sure hot here..."

Mathew looked around, seeing only sand and rocks. He was heading towards the Gold Saucer through North Corel, to sell his whalebone carvings and other things he'd spent last winter making, far on the north continent. Spring storms had kept him from leaving home earlier, but now, as summer neared its middle, he was almost there. One more day in the desert, then over the mountain range, and he was as good as there. He would also race Cookie this year, the chocobo was much faster and stronger than she had been last year. Maybe they'd even win! He petted the happy, eating chocobo and took a long sip of water.

"Not too far to go now, Cookie my girl, and then we'll be back in business."

"Kweh!"

"Can't you just see it... 'Mathew and Cookie, champions of the chocobo races!'"

"Wark!" Cookie nudged the man and Mathew laughed.

"All right, we'll make it Cookie and Mathew!"

They continued their journey, both walking leisurely onwards, the young man whistling a merry tune. The sun hid behind clouds every now and then, but the air was humid, even though they were in the middle of the desert, and the heat was so much more intense than up north. Mathew would be happy when they'd finally get out of the desert. It was lonely, too. Cookie was good company, but a bit quiet on the talking department.

Suddenly the man stopped in his tracks and frowned, shading his eyes with a hand. He was sure he'd seen something up ahead. Something that moved. Maybe a monster, maybe someone else crossing the desert. Anyway, Mathew let his hand drop to the hilt of his long knife. Bandits were not uncommon here, either.

After a few seconds he saw it again. A flash of blue against the yellow and brown. It rose up and then fell again. He stopped Cookie and just watched for a while. Soon the blue spot appeared again, only to move a little towards Mathew's right, and then it disappeared again.

Carefully, in case it was a monster, or a trap, he started to move closer, guiding the chocobo by her reins.

Up came the blue dot, and down it went again. When he got closer Mathew saw that it had a blond head, which he'd originally thought was just a part of the sand. It was a human. Still wary, he started to walk a bit faster. It could be a trap, or then it was someone who was lost. Seeing how the person was staggering, being lost and dehydrated seemed like a likely explanation.

Mathew kept looking over his shoulders and stretching his neck to see if there were others nearby, waiting to ambush him. He couldn't see anyone, but that didn't mean they weren't there. Still, he had a kind heart, and his conscience started to complain that if it were him stranded in the middle of the desert, he'd like to be helped, not just stared at.

Still holding Cookie's reins tight, Mathew cleared his throat. "Hello there! Can I help you?"

The person had just disappeared from his sight again as he closed his mouth, probably fallen to his knees. Mathew waited for a moment and repeated his words when the blue dot staggered up again. It was as if his words weren't even heard. He shrugged, mounted Cookie and rode closer.

"Hey! Are you all right?" Mathew called when they were close enough that he could see the mystery figure. He couldn't tell whether it was a he or a she, as long, blond hair covered the face and hung almost to the elbows. The person was dressed in a torn blue shirt and tattered black pants. Feet were bare, and the merciless sun had burned the pale, scarred skin.

"Can you hear me?" He shouted, almost desperate by now, and guided Cookie closer. The thin wanderer stopped and started to turn towards him, but lost balance and fell to the sand. Mathew jumped off, grabbed his water bottle and ran towards him. He was pretty sure it was a man, now that he was close enough to see, although the person was very thin and the long, silky hair might suggest otherwise.

The man was trying to stand up again when Mathew reached him. He got down to one knee, to the man's left, and grabbed his shoulder. "Are you all right?" He asked again, and the man finally turned his sunburned face to him. Large, glowing eyes blinked slowly and eventually focused on him. Mathew opened his bottle and offered it. "Here, drink some water, you'll feel better."

Shaky fingers took the bottle, and the stranger took a few sips, just to wet his throat. The eyes closed but opened again when Mathew took the bottle back. They focused on him faster, now, and looked at him curiously and warily. He smiled and helped the man up.

"Are you lost? Can I help you?"

"A... a town. I need... to get to a town. What's the... nearest?" The man managed to rasp, his voice hoarse and quiet. Mathew looked over at Cookie.

"North Corel is the nearest one. I'm heading there myself, I can give you a ride." He really, really hoped this wasn't an ambush. But the man seemed more likely to faint into his arms than to chop his head off. The blond nodded after a while and swayed.

"Please. I'll... make sure you... get compensation... once we're there."

"It's all right. Come on, better get moving. We're still at least a day and a half from there." He held both of the man's shoulders, gently but tight enough to keep the man from falling as his bare feet dragged on the sand. They were about the same height, but the other man felt like he was nothing but bone and skin underneath the thin shirt.

Cookie knelt so that he managed to help the blond to her back without problems. Mathew jumped up behind him, taking the reins in one hand while the other wrapped around the man's slender waist.

"Don't want you to fall..." Mathew explained as he stretched his neck to see past the man and clicked his tongue to get Cookie moving. It took her a while to get used to the extra weight, but soon she was running as if it was nothing. The blond leaned his head to Mathew's shoulder and closed his eyes. He didn't have the heart to wake him again just to ask for a name. Not knowing how long the blond had wandered the desert, how badly he was starved and dehydrated worried him a bit. He just hoped they'd make it to North Corel in time. He didn't have much water left anymore.

* * *

Zack sat at the most northern tip of the Wutai continent, staring out at the endless sea, letting the strong, salty wind whip his hair and clothes how it wanted. It was strong enough to make his eyes water, and cold enough to chill him to the bone, but he didn't care.

Three months. Almost a hundred days. Sephiroth and Cloud had been missing for so long now, without a trace, without any lead to their whereabouts or what had happened to them. Since early spring to past the midsummer. He had searched the desert alongside others and retraced their steps all the way to Wutai, and to Sephiroth's family. And had found absolutely nothing. It was as if the ground had opened up and swallowed the two men. The others had already given up hope of finding them alive, and Zack, frustrated and unable to do anything more, was almost ready to give up as well. Almost. There still had to be something they'd all overlooked, some small lead, someone who'd seen the pair. Anything. And he'd find it. He had to. He couldn't rest until he'd know what had happened. The greatest fighter he'd ever known and a powerful spellcaster just didn't let themselves be eaten by monsters or killed without a fight that half the world wouldn't have noticed. There was something they were missing.

Zack had spent the last ten days as a guest in Sephiroth's mother's house. She had already resigned to the fact that her son was gone, she claimed she couldn't sense him anymore. Called it a parental instinct. It had almost flattened Zack's spirits to see her give up so easily.

'Easily?' his conscience asked, making the young man feel ashamed. 'She searched for Sephiroth as hard as you did. Half of the family left to search for him, and even she herself left her home, her land, everything, to travel to the desert. She's done as much as you have.'

Zack shook his head and sighed. Lady Meriko hadn't given up. She'd just known when to stop hoping for something that wasn't going to happen. Sephiroth and Cloud weren't coming back.

"Oh damn it... Seph, what the hell happened? Where are you two? Why haven't we found anything?" He muttered to the wind and turned his teary eyes to the sea.

"Zack!"

His head came up immediately, the young man sure that it had been Sephiroth. But when he turned around he saw one of the general's cousins riding towards him on a young chocobo, going so fast that he wondered if they'd be able to stop before the sea. The chocobo managed it, though, and looked quite proud of itself as the young, dark-haired man jumped off the bird and ran to him.

"Lord Zack! Quickly, come back to the house! There's a telegram for you!" The lad said excitedly. Zack was about to ask why the boy hadn't brought it with him, but shrugged and whistled for Jammy. He could guess why they were reluctant to know what the message was. Just in case it'd tell them that Sephiroth was dead.

As fast as the boy's chocobo had been, Jammy was faster, and Zack reached the beautiful house, or more like a mansion, well before the Wutaian. He jumped off and ran to the door where lady Meriko already stood, waiting for him.

"Lord Zack. Thank you for coming so quickly. The messenger left the letter for you... it looks like it's from the Peacemakers." She offered him the thin envelope which had suffered on its way to Wutai, and then some more when in the nervous hands of Lady Meriko. Zack took it with shaky hands and opened the envelope, almost tearing the paper as he pulled the short message out. He didn't dare to look up into the lady's eyes in case he'd end up shattering the hope that had rekindled in her eyes. Maybe they'd never stop hoping...

"It's... it's dated about a week ago. Shiva's sake... Cloud was found in the desert, he's alive!"

Upon reading that Cloud was alive, Zack had felt his face split into a wide, relieved grin. That would mean that Sephiroth might live as well! Lady Meriko had clasped her hands to her chest, begging for him to say that her son was alive. But when he read the rest, Zack's mood instantly dropped.

_""He hasn't been able to tell us what happened, only that Sephiroth is dead. Please give my condolences to Lady Meriko and return here as soon as possible. Maybe you can help him remember what happened._

_Ranael.""_

"... Oh no..." Zack folded the letter and wiped away a traitorous tear that had escaped from his eye.

"... Zack? Please. Was it about Sephiroth?" Her voice was pleading, the sparkle of hope still in her eyes as he finally dared to look up. He cleared his throat and scratched his neck, hearing the quiet whispers from outside the door, where the rest of the family were probably listening. He only hoped that it was true, that it was better to know for sure than to spend your live wondering and waiting.

"Yes. Cloud's with the Peacemakers now..." He couldn't bear the joy in her eyes, and how quickly it disappeared when she heard his next words. "But... the only thing he can remember is that Sephiroth's..."

"No!" She cried and grabbed his shirt. "No, not my son! Not my only child! Please! Don't take him away from me! Please!" Her fists hit his chest as tears flowed down both their cheeks. She'd claimed that she didn't dare to believe that Sephiroth was alive anymore, but apparently she hadn't stopped hoping, until now. From behind the door he could hear worried voices and quiet crying.

"I'm so sorry... he's gone."

* * *

"What do you mean he's gone? You couldn't keep one man from leaving?" Zack's voice was as full of sarcasm as disbelief and anxiety. He'd just reached the Peacemakers, only to be told that Cloud wasn't there. Hadn't been there for half a week now. No one knew where he was or how he'd left. He'd just disappeared.

Master Ranael looked a bit sheepish until he remembered who was the master here. He frowned and shrugged his wide shoulders. "It sounds ridiculous, but apparently we couldn't. And we can't find him either. The spellcasters are looking for him, in case he's hiding with the help of a spell. So far, we've come up with nothing."

"But why would he leave in the first place!" Zack threw his arms wide, frustrated beyond words. He'd lost his best friend and rushed back here in hope of finding out what had happened to him, only to find that the small hope had up and left. Disappeared. And if anyone would dare to mention déjà-vu's, he would explode.

The master wrapped a sympathetic arm around his shoulders and started to guide the young man away from the small crowd staring at them. "Son, he was devastated because of what had happened. He couldn't remember anything, but it was clear he had suffered. He had scars all over his body, and every night he'd have nightmares. At days he wouldn't speak to anyone or get back to studying to get his mind off the matter. He'd just wander around like a ghost. We could barely get a word out of him. We tried to give him a bit of peace but still keep an eye on him. How he managed to leave, or why, we have no idea. The throwers are looking for him with spells, and we even sent men back towards the desert, in case he heads back there. There's little else we can do now."

Zack breathed deep and nodded. He didn't want to agree with is master's words, but without having no idea of Cloud's motivations or thoughts, there really was little way of knowing where to look for him. Maybe he'd even head back to Wutai, or to his home. Or to the closest gorge or monster or a high cliff above the ocean... Zack shuddered and closed his eyes. He didn't know the boy, only what he'd heard from Sephiroth, but hoped that Cloud wasn't the suicidal type. He was all Zack and Sephiroth's family had left of the general.

"Does he have family or friends he could go to?" Zack asked after a moment of silence. They had reached the room Ranael worked and taught in. Different types of weapons hung on the walls. There was a small desk with two chairs in one corner, and they were sitting now, the master filling two small glasses with brandy. Zack gulped his down at one go. He wasn't a drinker usually, but now the strong alcohol felt good rushing through his system. Ranael filled his cup again and took a sip out of his own.

"The only one we know about is his mother in Nibelheim. We haven't been able to reach her now, she only knows that he's missing. Unless he's gone back home, of course." The master explained and let his eyes wander over the rows and rows of weapons. Zack nodded and sipped at the brandy, slower this time. The alcohol started to kick in, made him feel more relaxed even though he wanted to jump up and run across the world to find the missing spellcaster.

"You do know, master, that I won't just sit here and wait for them to look for him..."

Ranael sighed and nodded. "Yes. So give your report now, and leave tomorrow morning."

"Yes, sir." Zack saluted lazily and started to report his last mission in detail.

* * *

The next morning master Ranael came to wish him luck as Zack mounted his chocobo. Jammy had seemed to roll her eyes when he'd picked her up from the stables. The chocobo was thrilled to be on the road again, even though she sensed her companion's anxiety.

Most of the warriors could cast simple spells, as could Zack. He kept casting a small sensing spell every now and then, feeling the surrounding area for monsters and other life forms. He had to try, even though he knew that if Cloud was lying dead in a gorge, he couldn't sense the man. He hoped that the spellcaster hadn't done anything that drastic.

On the way they passed the men Ranael had sent out. They were almost at the coast now, searching the area and every clue thoroughly. Zack stopped to check what they'd found and continued to the shore, stopping in the port to find out if Cloud had boarded any of the ships. The captain of one raised an eyebrow when he recognized the young man who had travelled on his boat back and forth for a few times now, but didn't dare to make any smart comments, seeing Zack's gloomy appearance. He or his crew hadn't seen anyone matching Cloud's appearance.

"But you know, if he's gone to the south, there are plenty of ships beside mine which go there and back again." The captain said, trying to cheer him a bit. "Have you tried asking them?"

Zack shrugged and stared out to the sea, watching as the setting sun disappeared out of sight. "I've talked to all I've managed to find."

"Even ShinRa ships?"

Now the young man frowned and turned to look at the captain. "ShinRa's? Of course not. Cloud, the guy we're trying to find, spent the last few years fighting them in Wutai. I don't think he'd try to get a lift from THEM."

The whole world seemed to be split nowadays, to ShinRa and those who opposed them. It had been like this for years, but it had got worse after the last war. ShinRa owned the biggest power company this side of the world, and many other companies, even cities. The Gold Saucer was one of the best examples of ShinRa's way of thinking: taking money from people for cheap thrills and making them WANT to give money to get more cheap thrills.

"Not even if he's desperate enough to take the first boat away from here? If none of the other ships have seen him, what choice is there?" Zack had to stop to think before he'd give a sharp answer. Master Ranael had told him the spellcaster was too devastated to even notice half of the things happening around him. Would Cloud really care who owned the ship, as long as it took him away? Probably not. Zack rubbed his face and sighed before turning back to the man.

"You wouldn't happen to know how many ShinRa ships there are, and what they're called?"

The captain even let Zack use his radio to catch two of the three ShinRa ships, the ones which weren't in port. And one of them indeed reported that it had taken a passenger, matching Cloud's description, over the sea and left him in its destination, Costa del Sol. Zack was relieved beyond words to find that the man was alive, but groaned when he realized how much more difficult his search had just become. Ships sailed to all over the world from Costa del Sol, and because of that the town had good land connections with most of the towns on the western continent. North Corel, Nibelheim, Rocket Town, any of the numerous towns you could easily disappear to.

Once more frustrated, Zack contacted the other searchers with his PHS and told them to get to the port. They had to wait two days before the next ship left for Costa del Sol. A ShinRa ship. With all the stops it made in between, it took them four days to reach the holiday town. If Zack's calculations were correct, Cloud had arrived here six or seven days ago. Anyway, he had the others search the town while he talked to people in the port.

They all came up with nothing.

"So either he's on a ship that's not here now, or then he left the town before anyone noticed him." One of the others reasoned, and Zack nodded. If he'd only known Cloud better, he could figure out what the man was thinking. Now there were just too many options for the four of them to go through with the speed and attention needed.

"Oh, hell... okay, two of you, check North Corel and the desert. You, stay here. I'll run to Nibelheim."

The three other Peacemakers looked at each other and nodded slowly. Zack noticed the look and groaned. "If you have a better idea, do share."

"It's not that." The young woman said after an uncomfortably quiet moment. "We were ordered to only search the northern continent, and basically just the Sleeping forest. As much as we'd all like to find him, there simply isn't that many of us to go around, and the masters think that, begging your pardon, it would be wiser to resume our usual tasks and leave Strife be."

Zack tried his best and managed to keep the scream inside his chest. After fuming quietly, he opened his mouth, keeping his voice very calm and quiet. "And you tell me this. Here. Now. In Costa. Del. Sol. After. A long. Trip. Over. The. Sea."

The two men looked decidedly uncomfortable, but the woman kept her back straight and looked Zack straight in the eye. "That's what the masters think. It pains them as well, but it's the wisest thing. They gave us orders, but like all of us, we've been taught to know when to ignore them. We're doing that now. Sephiroth was mine and Deren's friend, and Josin here roomed with Cloud. We knew them and want to know what happened. We'll continue the search, but wanted you to know that not all approve of this." She managed to keep her calm far better than Zack, and the fighter calmed down immediately and felt a bit embarrassed.

"Umm. Thanks. I know that Seph would appreciate that."

They stared at each other for a while, nodded in unison and went to get their chocobos. After checking that their PHS's worked and that everyone had enough potions and food, they took off. Zack rode with Josin and the woman, Sara, for the beginning of the journey, but after the first day and half started to head more north, to pass the mountain range and reach Nibelheim through the route he suspected Cloud would take. If he was going home.

Jammy ran as fast as she could over the stretch of desert, but she had to slow down when they got to the mountains. She was still quick enough to avoid most of the monsters, and outrun those which chased them. Zack was actually a little disappointed, he felt like whacking something into bits, even though it kind of went against the rules of the Peacemakers. Monsters didn't count, of course, but the overuse of violence was very much frowned upon. And with all the tension in his body, the fighter felt like he could slaughter a species of the cursed things.

A few days later the two arrived in Nibelheim. Only when he stopped at the gate, watching the small town did Zack remember Ranael's words. Cloud's mother didn't know whether he lived or not. So he'd first have to explain that to her. If he wasn't here. Explain it, give her hope, and then possibly take it away again if he was found dead somewhere. Did he really have the right to do this? Even to find the man? To find out what had happened to Sephiroth? And was that enough of a reason to bring pain to Cloud, forcing him to remember everything? Earlier, he had been so overcome with grief that the only thing he could think of was learning the truth. Now he felt like the worst had passed. He still wanted to know, but could he hurt people like that, just for a bit of information that wouldn't bring Sephiroth back?

"Oh, hell..." Zack muttered and scratched Jammy's neck as she put her beak on his shoulder, wondering why he was just standing there. "Well, we came this far. Might as well get some more grub while we're here..."

He walked into the town, holding on to Jammy's reins. A few kids who played around a well in the town square screamed and ran to gawk at the stranger and the big green bird. Zack smiled at them and let them come closer. Jammy bowed her head down to their level, and the kids let out thrilled screams and scratched her feathers.

"Hey, kid. Is there a shop around here?" Zack asked the closest one, and the boy pointed behind his back, not taking his eyes off of Jammy. The fighter's eyes followed the pointing finger and he made a mental note of the building's whereabouts. "Thanks. Seen anyone else you don't know here recently? A blond guy, a bit shorter than me?" The boy shook his head. "Thanks again. Would you kids watch Jammy while I go to get some food?"

"Yes!" The children exclaimed in unison, and Zack left the chocobo in their care. Jammy's green eyes begged him for mercy, but the fighter just grinned. "Don't worry, girl, I'll bring you some greens. Can you brats give her some water while you're at it?"

Jammy warbled and let herself be guided towards the well while Zack wandered towards the shop. His eyes searched the whole small town, noticed the faces that peered through the curtains, and the people outside who stared at him curiously. He smiled and waved his hand a bit as a greeting. Some of them nodded, most just turned and walked away. Just like home.

The small shop was dimly lit, and the air was hot and used, but the lady behind the counter greeted him with a smile and was eager to sell him everything he wanted. Zack bought food for himself and for Jammy, and some potions. While the woman counted the gil, the dark-haired man turned his charms on and started to chat with her.

"This seems like a nice, quiet town... it's Nibelheim, right?"

"Yes, yes..." the woman nodded and put the money into a small box, locking it. "This must be your first time here?"

"Yep. I'm just wandering around, me and my chocobo... some people gave me quite chilly looks, you don't get a lot of visitors here?"

"Heavens no!" The woman exclaimed and leaned over the counter. "We live pretty much by ourselves here. The mayor's the only one who has one of them phones, in case there's some emergency. We don't get much of those either. Only the occasional monster, but the men can take care of those."

"I see. My hometown's the same, except that we have two phones. And two trucks as well!" He smiled as the woman laughed at his words.

"Really? And where do you come from?"

"Gongaga. It's near Cosmo Canyon."

"Oh I know Cosmo Canyon, but never heard of Gongaga. Sorry."

"It's all right, I've barely heard of it and I was born there! Actually, I'm trying to find a friend of mine... he's also wandering in these parts, I thought he might be here."

"Oh I don't think so, the last time anyone came here it was the man from Rocket Town, selling all kinds of electric gadgets. Didn't sell much here, and left the next morning. He was a bit disappointed. But that's already over a month ago. Before that, it was that young man who came to talk with Mrs Strife. The poor woman, it was bad news about her son. A war hero, her little Cloud. But now he's disappeared. Dead, I'd wager. War does that. She doesn't talk much, a bit of a quiet one, wanders the mountains alone. Dangerous, that, no place for a woman to walk alone, but I guess it makes her feel better. The boy loved the mountains, I guess they remind her of him. He was such a sweet little boy, small and quiet, always bullied by the bigger boys, but to me he was always so polite, barely dared to ask for a free candy. Poor boy. He should have stayed at home. She's lost all her men to war, first her husband and older son and now Cloud... tragic."

Zack felt his throat go tight and he had to clear it and force the smile back to his lips. "Horrible, that... well, thank you for everything, I best go check on my Jammy... that's my chocobo, the kids promised to look after her for a bit. She can be a bit wild." He thanked her again and slid out of the door, back to the fresh air and brightness of the day. He spotted Jammy immediately, drinking from a bucket near the well while the growing number of kids and adults as well stared and sometimes dared to touch her.

"Hey kids! Did she behave herself?" Zack asked, smiling a real smile again. The kids nodded and started to ask if they could ride her. He promised they could, if it was ok with their parents.

For the rest of the afternoon, every kid got to ride on Jammy at least twice, and Zack chatted with their parents. The conversation always turned to strangers and if anyone had visited the town, but no one had seen anyone after the man from Rocket Town had left.

Jammy was so popular that the kids begged for them to stay at least until tomorrow, and Zack ended up taking a room from the inn for the night. He might as well wait here a few days, decide whether he should talk with Mrs Strife or not and see if Cloud happened to walk into town. He had seen the woman briefly during the afternoon, or at least he thought it was her. Sephiroth had told him that Cloud had golden, spiky hair and the bluest eyes ever. He'd thought that was from the point of view of someone head over heels in love, but he had seen a woman with pointy, golden hair and sad, bright blue eyes, coming down the path from the mountains. It had to be her. He'd watched her, seen which house she went to. Just in case he decided to go and talk with her. But that could wait till tomorrow. As could checking up with the other three. He hadn't heard anything of them, no news, good or bad. But it could all wait.

* * *

Nibelheim didn't have a chocobo stable, but Jammy had been content enough to sleep outside. Zack smiled when he took a look out of the window and saw half of the town kids feed her and try to climb onto her back.

He'd already had a bit of breakfast, and decided to catch up with Sara, Josin and Deren. He suspected the two would have left for the desert already, and Deren would be continuing the search in Costa del Sol and its outskirts. And probably working on his tan, he thought with a smile, but dismissed the thought. The man was a professional and would concentrate on his job. Even if he would do it without a shirt on.

He first called up Sara. The woman answered immediately, and reported that they'd found nothing so far.

"Josin even checked the Gold Saucer. He found the man who found Strife from the desert, a guy called Mathew Stocker, but he hasn't seen Strife again. Neither had anyone else there or here. We're over the mountains already, but so far there haven't been any clues. Anything at your end?"

"Nope." Zack answered and sighed, leaning his head against the window. Outside, two kids had mounted Jammy and were riding around the well. He trusted that she wouldn't drop them. "I'm at Nibelheim, but he hasn't been here. Thought I'd wait for a few days, in case he shows up."

There was a lengthy pause before Sara spoke again. "You should probably know that the masters have contacted us and told us to head back north. I told them that Josin and I would go through the desert and catch a ship back from the northern tip. But it doesn't mean that we won't search the place thoroughly."

Zack closed his eyes. "Yeah, do that. I don't want you to get into trouble. They didn't say anything about me?"

"No. I think master Ranael has told the others to let you do what you want. And... even though we'll go back, we won't give up."

"Thanks, Sara. I'll check with Deren and let you know if he's found anything. Good luck."

"To you too. Goodbye."

Zack dialed the man up straight away, hoping that he'd had more luck than the others. It took a little while before Deren answered, out of breath.

"Sorry, had to finish off a monster first. How can I help you?"

"It's Zack. Have you found anything?"

"Ah, sir. I'm afraid not." Deren always insisted on calling him sir. And anyone who has higher rank that he was. Or anyone the man thought should be higher in rank. "Some progress, though. There's a chocobo farmer here who told me that anyone heading inland would either get one of his chocobos or a car. Strife hasn't gotten either. So he's either gone off walking, without supplies, for the shopkeepers hadn't seen anyone like him, and that would be sheer madness, or taken one of the public transports. The ones that left around the time we calculated he'd have arrived here will arrive back in a day or two, they make a trip inland and return. I'll know more after I've talked to the drivers."

"Good work." Zack said, glad that the man was taking his work seriously, although he was disappointed that he'd found nothing as well. They talked some more, Deren also told him that the masters had been in touch with him, but that he was going to stay there until he'd get to talk with the drivers.

Zack closed the PHS after wishing him luck and sat down. He didn't want to admit it, but he was starting to think that Cloud hadn't come this way. He had probably left on a ship. But he could remember Sephiroth mentioning something that the spellcaster got motion sick easily, and hated traveling on boats. So Zack reasoned that he wouldn't get aboard one unless he had a clear destination. But if it wasn't his home, or Sephiroth's, where could have the man have gone?

"Damn it..." the fighter swore and picked up the PHS again to let Sara know that Deren hadn't found anything either. Just as he was telling her that, a thought hit him.

"Sara, didn't you say Josin used to room with Strife?"

"... Yes, but he's already told the masters and me everything he knows of him."

"Put him on anyway."

There was a small break before Josin picked up. "Yes?"

"I was just curious, did Cloud ever talk about his friends or family, besides his mother? Any place he used to go to as a kid?"

"No. I already thought of that, but he didn't have any other family than his mother and her sister and her family, somewhere near Nibelheim. I'm sure that if he'd gone to them, his mother would know about it."

"Okay thanks, I just wanted to check. Good luck!"

"Same to you."

Zack closed the PHS again and frowned. He was sure there was something they'd missed, some minor detail no one had bothered to check. And this had to be it.

"Bingo."

Cloud had an aunt, who had a family. Kids. Cousins. The lady at the shop had known the spellcaster had been a loner as a kid, but every kid had to have someone. If you didn't make friends outside the family, your mom made sure that some cousin would keep you company. Someone who knew you as a kid. A playmate who shared the same hiding places and secrets. This had to be it. Now the only problem was to find this aunt and her kids. He couldn't just go and ask Mrs Strife, and the shopkeeper would get curious if he'd go asking her such things.

He had wandered outside and watched as the kids took turns in riding Jammy over and over again. She didn't seem to mind, unless they pulled her feathers. The adults didn't give him cross looks anymore, they seemed to take him as one of the kids. Zack watched them around the town, taking note on how different life here seemed to Gongaga, even though they were both small towns.

People in Gongaga seemed always relaxed and ready to take in newcomers and their cultures. Hungry for anything new and interesting. Nibelheim seemed the exact opposite, everything new was frowned upon, and he suspected that with the exception of the one telephone, the people were still living the same way as they had lived for the past two hundred years. ShinRa's reactor in the mountains must have changed things, though, as it had in Gongaga.

Zack was just lifting a little girl to Jammy's back, her mother standing right next to them, when the shop door opened and a blonde woman stepped out. He expected her to return to the small house, but the woman stopped for a moment to stare at him and Jammy. She seemed indecisive for a moment, but suddenly squared her shoulders and started walking to the well. Zack swallowed and turned his back to her, concentrating all his attention on the little girl again. Only when Mrs Strife was right behind him, tapping him gently on the shoulder, he turned around and gave her his brightest smile.

"Hello, ma'am! Would you like to ride as well?" he asked, hoping that his eyes didn't betray to her that he knew who she was.

She blinked slowly and shook her head, golden-blonde hair shining in the sun. "No, thank you. I was just wondering if that was a real chocobo... I've heard of them..."

"Oh yes! This is Jade, or Jammy, as I call her." Zack introduced the bird who was patiently walking around the well, the little girl on her back screaming with delight and without a doubt half pulling off fistfuls of feathers. Her mother hurried behind the chocobo, begging for the child to be careful.

"I see..." Mrs Strife said and followed the chocobo with her blue eyes. Sorrow seemed to have aged her beyond her years. Zack wished he'd have some good news for her.

He was desperately thinking how he could start a conversation with the woman, or not to start one, depending what he wanted to do. He should talk with the woman, tell her that Cloud was still alive, or had been about a week ago. But how could he get the woman somewhere more private without it seeming odd? He could guess that the townspeople would start talking immediately if the widower took a young man to her home... he should have gone straight to her after all, announce himself as a messenger and had it over with. But he'd been a coward, and now she was talking to him and he hadn't heard a word!

"Uhm, sorry? You were saying?" he just blurted out, startling Mrs Strife into silence. Mentally kicking his own butt, Zack grinned and bowed a bit. "I'm sorry, my mind tends to wander."

The blonde looked at him a bit suspiciously and nodded slowly. "I was just asking where you're coming from... but it doesn't matter, really." She turned as if to leave, so Zack hurried to answer.

"I'm sorry, Mrs Strife, I didn't mean to be rude! I was just miles away!"

Now she did turn back to him, and stared at him straight into the eyes.

"Where I'm from? Well, it's a small town called Gongaga, and..." he fell silent at her piercing scrutiny, and ran through what he'd said earlier. "Oh, damn..."

"What did you call me?" The woman asked, now eyeing him with a tight frown. Zack was starting to worry.

"... Mrs Strife? I, uh..." moment of truth... "I have news of your son."

Her blue eyes flew open and she grabbed his arm. "You have news of Cloud? Where is he? How is he?" She was almost shouting until she realized that everyone was staring at her.

Zack cleared his throat. "I think we should talk somewhere more private..."

"Yes, you're right. And it's my sister you're wanting to talk to. Ame. I'm Maria, Cloud's aunt. Come on, then."

Completely baffled, Zack let the determined little lady drag him to the small house he'd seen her enter the previous day. Aunt? All right... right! The little girl's mother was shouting something after him, the child still screaming with delight and trying to urge Jammy to run to the mountains. Zack trusted the chocobo to behave herself.

The house he was led to was small, but big enough for a small family. His own home in Gongaga hadn't been much bigger, and he'd had several sisters and brothers, plus the parents, of course. But this house was now home to only one, as Maria quickly explained. "With Cloud missing, I came to stay with Ame. She's already lost her husband and older son, if she loses her little boy as well she'll just break, I know it... don't you dare to hurt her, boy, or I'll skin you alive! I have a son myself, I know how to handle your type!" She eyed him convincingly enough. Zack swallowed.

Maria took him straight into the house, and through a surprisingly large hall and living room to a smaller kitchen. There, in front of a large dinner table, sat another blonde woman, almost the spitting image of Maria. She seemed very distracted when she turned to see who'd entered with such rush and commotion.

"Maria? Who's this?" she turned to Zack, who smiled and bowed a bit. Maria gestured at the young man.

"This is... what's your name, boy?"

"Zack. Zackery Lindeman, ma'am. I'm... I'm from the Peacemakers, Mrs Strife. I have news of your son, Cloud."

The change in Ame was amazing. She turned from sleepy and distracted to almost hyperactive, her hands shaking and her blue eyes shining with nervous tears. "Oh no. Please, don't tell me he's gone. Please don't."

Maria nudged Zack in the ribs and eyed him menacingly. "Well, spit it out. If it's bad news, it's better out right away."

"Mrs Strife... we believe that Cloud is alive." Zack blurted out before one blonde would bruise him and the other one burst into tears. They did so anyway.

"Oh... oh, oh gods, my baby, my little boy, he's alive..." Ame cried and rocked back and forth on her chair, hugging herself. Maria squeezed Zack's arm tight.

"Where is he then? Why isn't he with you?"

"The thing is... he was found alive, in the desert where he and Sephiroth disappeared. He was put on a ship to north, our headquarters. There he was taken care of, but it seems he's lost his memory of the three months he was gone. I wasn't there myself, but I hear he was very devastated because of everything, losing the three months, and Sephiroth."

"Cloud loves him, doesn't he?" Ame interrupted him, and Zack nodded. "Where is he?"

"Well, we don't know. As I was saying, he was taken to the north. But only a few days after that, he left. No one knows where, or why. We're trying to find him now, and I came to see if he's come home to you."

"Well, he's not here. Yet." Maria said and smiled, moving over to hug her sister. Watching them, Zack suspected they were either twins or at least almost the same age. Ame hugged her sister's arms and sobbed, a thin smile on her pale face.

"But he's alive... my little child is alive." She took a few deep breaths and turned to Zack. "Do you know him? Are you a friend of Cloud's?"

"We've never met. But Sephiroth was one of my best friends, and my tutor. He told me of Cloud in letters, talked of him often. So I kind of feel like I know him already. They loved each other very much."

"Loved? Why do you speak of him in a past... oh no..." Ame shook her head, tears filling her eyes again.

"The only thing Cloud could remember of the past months was Sephiroth, dead in his arms. We haven't found his body, but Cloud's certain that he's gone." Zack said quietly, feeling his throat tightening.

"Oh, his poor mother... Cloud wrote to me of him a few times... and poor Cloud... and you... you must feel horrible." She looked up to him, on the brink of tears. Zack shrugged and attempted to smile.

"Well, I think I'm over the worst of it... I'm sure it's much worse for lady Meriko and Cloud. I was hoping to talk with him, try and help him remember."

"Do you think he's coming home?" Maria asked, finally letting go of her sister.

"I suppose it's one possibility. Do you know of any other place he might go to? Any friends or other family members?" Zack nodded a thank-you when Ame motioned for him to sit down and Maria poured him a cup of strong coffee.

"We're a small family." Maria explained and sat next to her sister. Definitely twins, Zack decided. "It's just the two of us, Cloud, my husband Kain and our son Cid. Kain and I live in Rocket Town. Cid and Cloud used to play together when they were kids, when we still lived in Nibelheim. Then Kain got the job in Rocket Town, and we moved there."

"They were still pretty close…" Ame opened her mouth when Maria closed hers. "Cid would come over here to play, or Cloud would go to Rocket Town."

"Does Cid still live in Rocket Town? I'd like to talk with him." Zack asked Maria.

"He's a very promising technician, and a pilot. Just like his father. After the rocket project ended, he left home to look for a better job. Almost three years ago, now. He was among the first to leave. Kain knew that the project would be terminated before the others, so he suggested that Cid would leave early rather than get stuck there. But if you're thinking that Cloud would have gone to Cid, well, I think Cid would have called me." Maria answered.

"I see." Zack muttered but smiled. "I would still like to talk with him, if that's possible."

"Cid lives in Midgar now, he found some work there."

Zack's mood dropped instantly and he had to try very hard not to let it show. Midgar. Cloud could be half out of his mind, but the fighter still doubted that he'd go to Midgar. Unless...

Unless he thought that ShinRa was to blame what had happened to Sephiroth, and seeked personal revenge.

* * *

He ended up spending a few more days in Nibelheim, just in case Cloud walked into town. But on his fourth day there, having a cup of coffee with the twins, he got a call from master Ranael. Maria had indeed confirmed that they were twins, and when Ame had cheered up a bit, they even started to act alike. She'd stand in the window most of the day, or go to the gate to wait for Cloud. But the two were now chatting happily, making sure Zack got enough to eat since he insisted on sleeping at the inn.

He had finally seen the spellcaster, in a way. After he'd gotten over the shock that Cloud might be in Midgar after all, Ame had offered to show him some photos. Curious, he had of course accepted.

She'd shown him a few childhood pictures and one of Cloud just before he left to join the Peacemakers. In one photo he had stood next to his older brother, who, he was told, had died when Cloud was nine. They looked very much alike, thin, slightly tanned and blonde. Wind just was almost twice as tall as his brother. In another one he got to meet Cid as well. The two children, no more than eight or nine, were sitting side by side on a bench. Both were grinning, and both grins missed a tooth or two.

Cloud had looked cute as a child, but Zack had paid most attention to the picture of him as a teenager. The hair was blond and quite wild, spiking and pointing into all directions. His eyes weren't as bright a blue as he had expected from Seph's praise and from meeting Ame and Maria. They were more a light, hazy blue, and even a bit cold. He was thin and the look on his face was bored and bad-tempered. Not really what he had been expecting. But there was a twinkle of hope and caring in those eyes, probably aimed at the one taking the photo. Enough of a fighting spirit for Seph to fall in love with.

The two women fell instantly quiet when he answered the phone. "Lindeman here. Oh, master Ranael. Any news?" he fell quiet for a long while, his brown eyes darting from Ame to Maria to the cupboards behind them. "I see... crap. Well I'll head there... yes I will! I'm sorry, sir, but I will. I know! I'm going! I don't care! ... Yes, sir. Goodbye." He closed the small device and looked up to two expecting pairs of blue eyes.

"Well. That was master Ranael. He just got a report from one of our agents. Cloud was spotted just yesterday. He's alive and safe."

Ame sobbed with joy and grabbed her twin's hands. Maria laughed and wiped away a tear. "Thank gods! Where is the boy?"

Zack knew that the look on his face was very sour, but he couldn't help it. "... Midgar."

.

* * *

**A.N:** Is Cloud after revenge? Will Zack ever find him? What the hey happened?


	4. Chapter 3: Sleeping

Square owns the whole shebang. I'm just feeding the pigeons.

This chapter introduces more characters we're all familiar with already, and first of numerous flashbacks to come, marked with **–x-x-x-**. Tread carefully around the angst. And the swearing. Mmm. Swearing.

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* * *

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**Chapter Three**

**Sleeping**

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**

"Well fuck me! Look what the cat dragged in!"

Cloud lifted his eyes when the door opened and he heard the cheery but rude greeting. He was barely aware of any of it when two strong arms wrapped around him and gave him a tight squeeze. It made some of his scars ache a bit, but he paid them no heed. He couldn't remember how he'd gotten them, they didn't matter.

He was finally released after a pat to the shoulder. The spellcaster looked up to see a grinning, blond man who was maybe two or three inches taller than he was. His blond hair stood stubbornly up as well, but it was shorter than Cloud's, and more light brown than yellow. The man babbled and cursed as he guided the shorter man into the dimly lit, smoky apartment. The small TV dominated the messy living-room and the couch let out a cloud of dust when he sat upon it. Dirty clothes and old newspapers littered the floor, and a small plant struggled for life on the window sill, doing its best to change the smoke of the cigarettes into breathable air. Cloud was sure that his cousin was still talking, but he hadn't heard a word of it after the initial greeting. He only wondered absently how anyone could live in such a small and stuffy apartment.

He was jolted out of his thoughts when the slightly taller man dropped to sit down next to him, and pushed a beer can to his hands. The feeling of cold woke him, and Cloud turned to look at his cousin.

"Hi, Cid."

Cid gave him a weird look and opened his can. "You on drugs or something? I've been talking to you for ten minutes, but it seems to go in through one ear and straight out the other one. And **now **you say 'Hi, Cid', like I'd just opened the damn door. I always thought you were weird, man, but this is a bit too odd, even for you."

"Sorry. I've... had a rough few months..." Cloud looked at his cousin, who was dressed in a blue t-shirt and green cargo pants. Cid pulled a suffered pack of cigarettes out of one of the pockets and lit one. They hadn't seen each other in about five years, not after he'd left home to join the Peacemakers.

"Yeah? I heard that you were in the Wutai war, kicking some serious ShinRa ass. So what the hell brings you to Midgar? Not that I'm complaining, it's good to see ya, but it seems a bit odd... I bet the Prez would have a heart attack, to know that one of the guys who helped kick his ass is here, in the slums of his crown jewel."

"Cid... I don't want to think about it, just now... can I stay with you a while? I... I need to get away from everything."

"Sure." Cid shrugged and spread his arms. "My home's your home. Sorry 'bout the mess, don't get many guests. Only one guy comes over every now and then, so I don't bother to keep the place tip top."

"I don't mind..." Cloud muttered and took a careful sip of his beer. Cid slapped his shoulder, nearly making him spill the beer.

"Cool then. I won't offer you the bedroom, it's even filthier than this place. And gods only know how long it's been since I changed those sheets. But I think Ma gave me some linen when I left home, they should still be in the bag, somewhere in the closets... never used, you can have those. I usually go out to eat, or with my buddy, or eat at work. Tastes like shit, but it's free." Cid babbled on. If nothing else, his familiar voice and the somewhat tainted homeliness of the place made Cloud relax. A few more sips of beer and he could feel his muscles turn to jelly. By the time the can was empty and Cid had told him all about his crappy work which was nothing what he really wanted to do, the spellcaster was ready to drop.

"Damn, yawn like that and your jaw will tear off! I'll go and see if I can find those sheets for ya..." Cid got up a bit unsteadily and wandered to his bedroom. Cloud was sure he'd seen the last of him, thinking that the cousin would get lost into the pile of dirty clothes, or be caught under an avalanche of socks.

"... Must be more tired than I thought... if I'm really this drunk..." he muttered to himself and watched how his hands let go of the empty can. Surprisingly enough, Cid returned soon with the promised linen, kicked the can from his way and tossed them on Cloud.

"There ya go. Knock yourself out, kiddo!" He said with a wide smile which said that he'd had far more to drink than just the one. Cloud tried to frown at him but was cut off by a wide yawn.

"I'm only a year an' a half younger than you are, I'm not a kiddo..."

"Sure you aren't... kiddo. Sleep well. I'll leave pretty early in the mornin', I'll try not to wake ya."

"Thanks, Cid. I owe you."

"Naw, ya don't. Good to see you again."

"Good night."

Cid turned the TV and the dim light off, leaving him in the almost dark room. Streetlights illuminated it a bit, but their cold light mostly made the shadows and even the small plant look ominous. Watching them, sure that they were just waiting for a moment to attack him, Cloud stretched out the sheets and the blanket, got undressed and slipped in between them, falling to dreamless sleep as soon as his head hit the nicotine-drenched handrest of the couch.

* * *

Zack had contacted the others immediately after leaving Nibelheim. Deren's report confirmed what he already knew, when the man told him that none of the drivers had taken the spellcaster as a passenger. Sara and Josin had found a small bag with a few materia in it from the desert, and suspected that it was Cloud's. The spellcaster hadn't had anything with him when he'd been found in the desert, and they knew that he hadn't taken it with him when he'd left north, so it had probably been in the desert since the spellcaster and Sephiroth had gone missing.

Zack had told the others to get back to north, now that he he knew where the blond would be. Him going to Midgar had made the masters react strongly. Ranael had been the first to tell him how stupid this idea was, how idiotic it was for him to go to ShinRa's turf, knowing that they didn't care if the Peacemakers had diplomatic immunity during peaceful times. The master had made it clear that he was on his own if he decided to go, and Zack had said that he was very much aware of that, and of the fact that Cloud was in much bigger danger, considering that ShinRa probably knew who he was.

* * *

It was still dark when the quiet voices brought him out of his empty dreams, but there was a dim light somewhere, casting a soft glow on the messy room. Cloud opened his eyes enough to see that there was no one else in the room. Still, he could hear speaking, but it was too far and too quiet for him to make out any words. With a sigh, he burrowed himself deeper into the couch and let his mind drift again. He thought there was someone standing over him, but at that point he was already half asleep and didn't care anymore.

A few hours later he woke up again. This time the room was illuminated with the dusty light that was the only thing that came close to sunlight that the people of the Midgar slums could hope for. All other natural light stopped at the plate. Children grew in the slums to adults without seeing the sun except on TV. Midgar, the sparkling city of development.

Cloud yawned and stretched, rubbing his eyes hard before opening them again. He remembered the voices he'd heard and figured it was probably Cid, leaving for work. He'd have the whole place to himself until late in the afternoon. If he wanted to leave, he'd have to wait until Cid got back to get in.

"Good morning."

The voice startled him, and Cloud sat up immediately. His first thought was that Cid hadn't left after all, but it wasn't Cid's rough but soft and familiar voice. This voice was low and quiet, not rude but a bit hard. Wishing that he'd kept one of his weapons near, Cloud turned slowly to face this new person.

A tall, lanky man stood leaning against the kitchen's door-frame, looking at him. Long, black hair hung below the man's thin shoulders, and half hid the pale face and the red eyes which seemed to glow, so intense was their colour, so sharp in the white face. The man was dressed in all black, the clothes were a bit baggy and hid his thin frame. He blinked and pushed himself off the door-frame.

"Vincent. Cid's friend. I came by earlier, he asked me to stay here with you, or let you back in if you want to go out. Now that you're up, I'm off to bed. Only beer in the kitchen, you'll have to go out for food if you want some."

Cloud watched the man and nodded after a moment. Vincent blinked again and walked past him, straight to the bedroom, and closed the door. The blond sat still for a moment longer. He didn't really care for food, but didn't want beer either. Wandering the slums didn't sound too hot, but sitting here while Vincent slept seemed a bit awkward. He could watch TV, but he hadn't even seen a set in so many years he'd lost count. Cid didn't seem to have any books, except engine manuals, do-it-yourself -guides and some technical essays. He could always try to clean up, but he suspected that two days later the place would be the same it was now. A simple clean-up wouldn't be enough to get rid of the stench of cigarettes, anyway. Cloud dared a deeper breath, smelled himself and decided to take a shower.

The pipes clattered and howled and the water turned abruptly from hot to cold and back again, but it was still so much better than washing himself in the trenches, so Cloud didn't care. Cid's shampoo ran out halfway through his long hair, but at least there was soap and he came out not smelling like farmyard animals anymore. The truck driver had brought him to Midgar fast, but the trip in the back of the truck with pigs and caged hens had been all but pleasant. He had been happy that he'd lost his appetite during the boat trip.

Cloud barely recognized the pale, scarred skeleton that stared back at him from the mirror. There were dark hollows around his eyes and where his cheeks should be. His hair was tangled so badly it had almost gone to dreadlocks, which caused it to stand up even more stubbornly than before.

His body... he could remember having something of a tan from the previous, hot summer, but now his skin was white as chalk. He traced the reddish scars that traveled all over his torso, arms and legs, and wondered what had caused them. They looked like they were done with a knife, a sharp and thin one, except for the ones around his right elbow which had been injured in the war. That he could remember, even the pain when he had been pinned to the ground underneath a heavy beam. But the other scars were a total mystery to him. Having them but not knowing how he'd gotten them made him feel uncomfortable, and determined to keep them hidden so he wouldn't have to answer questions he couldn't answer.

He hadn't thought to look for a clean towel, or at least a semi-clean one, so he had to make do with the soggy one that had spent Cid knew how long rumpled on the floor. It smelled like mould and was cold and wet. Cloud decided that if he was going to live here for longer, he'd have to do something about the way Cid ran his little place. That, or he'd end up killing his cousin.

Just as he had managed to dry most of himself, there was a soft knock on the door. Cloud covered himself with the towel, more eager to hide his numerous scars than his privates as one hand instinctively went to where his knife should be. "Yes?"

"Towel. The one in there probably has its own ecosystem living in it." Vincent's voice came through muffled. Cloud opened the door a bit and reached for the cloth Vincent offered.

"Thanks. Didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok. I don't usually go to bed earlier than this anyway." Vincent muttered and closed the door. Cloud frowned at the words but couldn't be bothered to wonder about the other man's sleeping habits. He dropped the wet towel which made a slurching sound as it hit the floor, and wrapped the warm, soft one around himself, feeling instantly better. It was as if warm hands had encircled him and were holding him close. The blond closed his eyes and almost leaned into the touch until he realized that the only thing that would catch him was the cold bathroom floor. With a sigh, he started to dry his hair.

When he'd left north, he'd had enough of presence in mind to take some clothes, a few books and other things with him from his old room. The clothes were a bit too small, both short and tight where he had developed more muscles, but they fit comfortably enough. He felt much better after the shower, even a bit hungry again. Still, he couldn't seem to be able to shake off the depression and bring himself to care about anything. He felt like he was still wandering in the cursed desert, trying to figure out what had happened, how he'd ended up here, and why was his heart aching so bad he just wanted to cry. The truth was he couldn't remember. His recent past seemed to be a blur. He knew who he was, and he obviously knew Cid. He knew he was one of the Peacemakers, he'd immediately known he'd need to reach them once that man with the chocobo had woken him from his thoughts. He remembered the war, and people he thought he knew. But only if he concentrated. And he could remember him. Dead. Cold. Unmoving. Gone. Cloud shook his head and forced down the sob that fought to come out of his throat. He wouldn't cry. Every night he'd either rest in complete blackness, or have painful nightmares which he couldn't remember anymore when he woke. It was a blessing and a curse, for he was sure that the dreams were his memories of the lost months. If he could remember them, he would know what had happened. Maybe he could find some peace.

* * *

There was no peace in the slums, that was for sure. People everywhere, selling something, hanging around, running somewhere, begging, preaching, haggling, shouting, coughing, staring... it was enough to drive you insane. Cloud started to wish he hadn't left the apartment at all. As awkward as it would have been to just sit there while Vincent slept, waiting for Cid to come, it was still a lot better than being here, breathing this thick air, being constantly pushed around and offered something... it was all just too much. So much sickness, poverty and hopelessness. And to know that it was all because of greed. The same greed which had started wars and killed people. Same greed which had destroyed his life. How easy it would be if he'd just let go of it all, forget everything he could still remember, and just find a corner here to sit at and talk to himself. Maybe someone would toss him a coin every now and then, or kick him. And one night, when no one would look or care, someone would stab him to death for his shoes. Wouldn't that be a fitting end to his miserable life?

Cloud shook his head and gave the books he wanted to the lady who ran the small used book shop. It was really just a desk on the street with a small sign saying Used Boks. He gave her the gils she asked and shoved the books to his small bag, careful not to crush the vegetables he'd bought earlier. He had already been wandering the slums for a few hours now, consciously staying away from the richer parts where the finer restaurants, inns and brothels were. The state he was in, he felt he couldn't stand that kind of amount of decadence and pretentiousness.

"Would you like a flower? They're only one gil." A cheery voice, so completely out of place asked, making Cloud look up from the filthy street. The girl in front of him smiled warmly, a real smile in the middle of all this pain and falseness. The blond stared at her and her pink, clean dress for a while without realizing that he was staring, until she tilted her head and poked a flower almost to his nose.

"They're real, grown here in Midgar. You look like you could use something to cheer you up."

Why not, he thought, maybe it'll cover some of the stench of the cigarettes. Stop Cid from smoking and make him clean up the place. Make Vincent smile, and wear bright colours. Make him happy and remember everything he wanted to know so badly. Maybe a little flower would do all that, and magically change Midgar into a happy, clean place where children didn't have to die because they didn't have anything to eat. All that for just one gil.

"Yeah, sure. Give me one." Cloud found himself muttering and fished out a coin. The girl thanked him and picked out a fresh flower from her basket. He put it carefully on top of the books and watched her walk away, humming quietly to herself. Everyone needed their delusions.

* * *

Vincent came to open the door fairly quickly, considering that he was sleeping behind closed doors. The gothic man headed back to bed without a word, only nodding when he opened the door. Cloud headed straight past the bedroom door and the living room to the kitchen, where he put the vegetables and the milk into the fridge. It was empty, save for five cans of beer and a tin of tuna, probably pre-war. The first war. He left the books on the kitchen table, after he cleared it of empty cans and fast food wrappings. He found a clean glass to put the flower in, and took it to the living room.

The apartment was very small, all the rooms were along the short hallway. From the front door, the bathroom/toilet was first on the right, after which the hallway opened to the living room. The bedroom door was on the left side, across the hall from where the living room started. The hall ended on the kitchen door. The whole apartment had only two windows, one in the living room and a small one in the kitchen. It looked like Cid only used the kitchen for the fridge, as there was a clear path to it from the door. The sink was full of unwashed dishes which seemed to have taken permanent residence there.

The living room had two small tables, one for the TV and the other, in the front of the couch, for everything else. The window sill looked ready to drop. Cloud sighed and watered the flower while he tried to tidy up the place a bit. He piled the magazines in one pile and the books and manuals to another, and took all the empty cans and bottles to the kitchen. He found a laundry basket in the bathroom and took the dirty clothes there, wondering if there was a laundry room somewhere in the building.

It didn't do much good, but he opened both windows to clear the air a bit. If nothing else, it was a psychological relief. He only now noticed that the TV screen was covered with dust, and someone had written 'wash me!' on it. So he did. He then placed the pink flower on top of the set and brought his books to the living room, took a few strawberries and an apple to eat and sat on the couch to read a bit.

He must have fallen asleep, although he didn't remember when, for he woke when Cid wondered loudly what the hell had happened to his place. Cloud opened an eye and closed the book that rested on his chest, and sat up. His cousin turned to look at him, surprised.

"You did this?"

Cloud shrugged. "I just tidied it up a bit."

Cid looked around and shrugged as well, smiling. "Cool."

Vincent had also woken up and stepped out of the bedroom. His eyes widened a bit when he saw the living room, but his face quickly went back to emotionless. "Cid. This place looks almost human."

"Yeah. Cool, huh?"

"Knowing you, it's almost scary..." Vincent muttered and headed for the bathroom. Cid flipped him the finger and winked at Cloud.

"Don't mind him, he's always cranky after waking up." The older blonde more threw himself on the couch than sat down, and pulled out a cigarette. "So. Did ya have a nice day?"

Cloud shrugged and set the book on the table. "Guess so."

"See the slums?"

"Yeah."

"Want a beer?"

"No."

"I'll have one anyway..." Cid got up and went to the kitchen. He stopped on the door to scream some profanities. "Damn it, kiddo, you've been on a roll! I can almost see the fucking floor!"

The blond was laughing when he returned with a can of beer. "You're gonna make a good wife one day!"

"Shut up..." Cloud muttered and frowned, feeling a blush creep on his face. Cid noticed it and laughed some more.

"I know, we'll find you a girlfriend! Some nice girl, maybe an older one who'll boss you around. Don't you army guys dig that kind of thing?"

"I wasn't in the army, strictly speaking."

"We're not. But if that's not your cup of tea, I'm sure we can find some other type of girl. Lots of fish in the sea, y'know. You look like you could use a good shag."

"A good what?" Cloud asked, starting to feel uncomfortable. On second thought he didn't really want to know. "Never mind. I don't want a girlfriend."

Cid just shrugged and took a long sip from his beer. "Suit yourself. Heh, maybe you'd like a guy better, then." Cid nudged him and winked, joking. Cloud could feel his blush take over half his face, making his cousin whistle.

"Ooh, hit a soft spot, did I? You fancy them pretty boys? Can't blame ya, unless you didn't figure it out yet, Vinnie and me share more than just our love for the malted liquor."

Vincent came to the living room just in time to hear Cid start singing.

"_Oh, what is the malted liquor,_

_What gets you drunker quicker,_

_What comes in bottles and in cans?_

_BEER!_

_Can't get enough of it,_

_How we really love it,_

_Makes me think I'm a MAN!_

_BEER!_"

The blond hoisted his can up to the air on both 'beer'-shouts. The goth closed his eyes and shook his head, placing one hand on top of Cid's head as he walked past, to sit on the rickety chair underneath the window. Cid laughed and took a long sip while Cloud tried to fight down his blush.

"But I'm right, right? Auntie Ame ain't getting to play granny, is she?"

Cloud opened his mouth to say something but couldn't get a word out.

_/"You know, I bet we'd make such pretty children..."/_

The words flashed through his mind and the blond moaned quietly, lifting a hand to cover his eyes. Cid took it as an answer and patted him on the shoulder.

"Nothing wrong with that! Right, Vin?" He didn't wait for an answer, and Vincent wasn't even about to give him one. "If you like the guys, I mean. We can set you up with someone nice, get some action into your life."

Cloud looked up at him, over his hand, and raised an eyebrow. He wasn't completely following anymore what Cid was going on about. The sentence was ringing in his head, he knew he'd said it, but when? And why?

"What?"

"We'll set you up with a nice guy if you want to. Or a nasty one, if that's what you like. Just tell old Cid what you dig, and I'll get right on it!"

"... How many exactly have you had?" Vincent asked, sounding a bit pissed. Cid ignored his tone with a wave of his hand.

"Just a few before you came into my life, baby!" Vincent's icy glare sobered the blond up a bit, and he shrugged, smiling innocently. "Had a few at work. We finished the project and decided to celebrate. Hey, do you guys fancy going to a bar tonight? We could just drink and chat, we haven't really talked in more than five years, right, Cloud? And we could hunt for a guy for you." He winked again and nudged Cloud who was starting to feel sick. Vincent seemed to notice it, but Cid was too drunk to see neither the goth's annoyance nor his cousin's squirming.

"... But I don't want anyone..." Cloud muttered and repeated the words louder when Cid claimed he hadn't heard them.

"Aww come on, it'll cheer you up!"

"No..."

"Do you have someone already?"

"Yes... I mean no."

"Oh I see!" Cid said and calmed down a bit, wrapping a sympathetic arm around his younger cousin's shoulders. "Still getting over the ex?"

Cloud could feel the apple and strawberries make their way back to his mouth, and sprung up from the couch, running for the bathroom. As the door slammed shut and Cid turned his surprised face to Vincent, the goth stood up and walked past him.

"Maybe you should just go to bed, Highwind. Alone." Before Cid could say anything, Vincent had left the apartment. The blond turned to stare at the dark television screen and eventually frowned, listening to his cousin being sick in the bathroom.

"What the fuck just happened?"

* * *

Cloud stayed in the bathroom until Cid left the apartment as well. His cousin had stood outside the door for a quarter of an hour, pleading with him, saying that he was just kidding, asking him to come to the bar. Cloud had declined, saying that he was still sick and tired from the trip. Eventually Cid had left, promising to come home quietly. Only when he was sure that the older man was gone, Cloud came out and went to lie down on the couch. He was feeling sick and his head was spinning, because of both being sick and the strange words still dancing around in his head. They almost triggered a memory he could almost place. But only almost. He wrapped the blanket tightly around himself and turned the TV on with the remote, not really watching it but feeling safer and more relaxed when there was noise and some light in the room. It was already dark outside.

He rose up about an hour later, to get a glass of milk, and dozed on and off until Cid came back and turned the TV off before going to the bedroom. Cloud pretended he was sleeping, not feeling up to a conversation with the obviously drunk man. Soon he could hear Cid snoring in the other room, and closed his eyes, letting his mind drift away again, into blackness.

* * *

Cloud had half expected to see Vincent again when he woke, but the apartment was empty. There was a small note on the table, though, with a key weighing it down. Curious, he picked the note up.

_'Sorry about last night. Had this done for ya, now you can come and go as you wish. Cid.'_

He picked up the key and turned it around in his hands, smiling slightly. "Thanks..." he whispered to the empty room, and slipped the note between the pages of one of his new books. He was feeling a lot better now, he could barely remember what they'd said last night that had made him feel so bad. He didn't even want to remember. He was starting to feel really hungry now, and went to the kitchen to have some milk and an apple. Cid had eaten most of the food he'd gotten yesterday, and drank half of the milk. Didn't matter, he felt like going out to buy something anyway. Maybe he'd even cook. The dishes would have to be done first, then.

Happy with his new freedom, Cloud got dressed, pocketed his new key and left his new home. For a while, he forgot that he couldn't remember.

* * *

He had thought that the slums were big enough that there was small chance of him recognizing anyone he'd come across earlier, not counting the shopkeepers, of course. But there she was again. The short girl, dressed in pink, selling her flowers. Cloud slowed his steps and looked around, hiding behind a corner where he could see her but she couldn't see him.

Even though it was hot, smelly and dusty in the slums, she seemed to pay no attention to it. The dirt almost avoided her. The pink skirt was mostly clean and only a little wrinkled, and her long, brown hair was clean and cascaded neatly down her back from a ponytail. Two stubborn bangs hung in front of her face and her bright green eyes. Cloud frowned and looked at her face more carefully. The green wasn't the same, but it was so much like his eyes... and there was something in the smile. Cloud shook his head quickly, forcing the memories away before he'd break down and cry. But he still watched her. Her appearance mesmerized him so completely that he didn't even notice the pickpocket until the man was running off with his wallet.

"Hey! Stop, thief!" Cloud shouted, annoyed that he hadn't noticed anything. Most people paid his words or the running man no mind, but the flower girl looked quickly up, and seeing the thief running her way, stuck out her foot just before the man ran past her, so that he didn't have time to change his direction or jump over her leg. He tripped and ploughed the dirt with his nose.

Cloud caught up with him the next second. He grabbed the man by the neck of his jacket, pulled him up a bit and snatched his wallet before letting the man fall back to the ground. He glared at the people who were staring, but they soon found something more interesting, seeing that the thief was caught.

He checked that all his money was still there before looking up to see that the girl had crouched down to the groaning man.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? You shouldn't steal, I know how hard it is to live here in the slums, but it's still a crime..." she was telling him while she helped him to sit up. The man lifted a hand to his bleeding nose and glared at Cloud.

"The joker was asking for it. Uptown kid like that, in fancy clothes, coming down here to play brave or something..."

Cloud's eyes went wide at the anger in his voice, and he took a few steps back, opening his mouth to give an answer but unable to make any sound. The girl turned to look at him as well and frowned slightly.

"But it's not his fault if he was born on the plate in stead of down here." She searched her pockets and gave the man a few coins. "Take these."

The man took the gils and thanked her, glaring at Cloud before getting up and running off from the spot. The blond was still too surprised to do anything but stare. Then he slowly looked down and wondered what was so fancy about his old tee and a baggy pair of black pants. The scars in his arms he'd covered with bandages. He looked up at the girl and opened his mouth a few times before finding his voice.

"But... I don't even live on the plate. I just got into Midgar two days ago..."

The girl smiled and checked her flowers quickly. "Don't mind him, he used to work for ShinRa but lost his job and has been bitter since. A lot of people here were cheated by them, but they don't have anywhere else to go. New in town, huh? Where are you from?"

He was going to say that it was none of her business, but ended up telling the truth. "Originally I'm from Nibelheim, but I've been around..."

"Nibelheim..." she frowned but smiled soon. "I've heard that it's a nice place. Flowers and trees and grass, the mountains and lakes. And seasons, not just this greyness." She looked almost dreamy, making Cloud feel a bit uncomfortable. He had never thought much of his hometown, it had never really been a home to him, just a place he was born in. Home had been... him. But listening to her, he did realize how much better a place Nibelheim was than this rathole.

"Yeah..." he admitted slowly. "It's been a few years since I was home, though. Umm, are you from Midgar?"

"No, not originally, but it has become a home to me. I'm Aeris, by the way. And you are...?"

"Cloud." He answered and looked away, feeling a bit embarrassed when her face split to a wide smile.

"Nice to meet you, Cloud! Would you like a flower? They're only a gil each?"

* * *

Before he knew it, they had spent three hours walking and talking. Mostly about Midgar, Aeris telling him things that everyone who lived in the slums should know about, and Nibelheim, Cloud describing the nature to her. She didn't sell much flowers, but did thank the blond for being her 'bodyguard'.

"I can take care of myself, you learn quickly here, but it's nice not having to constantly watch my back and my purse." She said, smiling, but her voice was sad. Cloud just shrugged and turned his eyes away. There was something about Aeris that made the blond think of HIM. The more time he spent with her, the more HE was in his thoughts, but every time he turned his mind to the lost time he hit a wall. It frustrated him to no end, the thoughts saddened him, and he soon grew quiet and morose. Aeris noticed it, but didn't push the matter, content for the time being to just wander around with the stranger.

Cloud's head came up instantly when someone actually stopped them to buy a flower. He looked at his watch and noticed, to his surprise, that he'd spent most of the day in the slums. It was late afternoon already "Oh. I'd better start to get back home, now. Will you be alright?" he asked when the customer left with three flowers.

Aeris nodded and smiled." Yes, thank you for keeping me company. Don't be a stranger, Cloud!" With that, she started to walk down a crowded street. Cloud watched after her for a while, wondering if he should follow her. But she'd probably laugh at him for worrying. He turned towards Cid's apartment house, stopping at a small grocery store on the way to get some food.

Vincent was slouching on the couch when he got back, looking like he'd just woken up. The goth waved a hand when Cloud passed him to the kitchen, not turning his blood-red eyes from the TV. The blond put the groceries in the fridge or just left them on the table before heading to the couch as well. Vincent moved a bit away from him but still said nothing.

"I bought some food if you're hungry..." Cloud muttered eventually, hoping that Vincent would go to the kitchen so that he could stretch out on the couch. It had been nice to talk to Aeris, but the constant almost-remembering had made his head hurt, and the blond just wanted to lie down and close his eyes. And toss the TV out the window. He didn't recognize the program, but he knew the type, a talk show where the host tried to get his guests to fight. The little what he knew of Vincent, he'd never guessed that the man liked that kind of programs.

Vincent shrugged and switched the channel to a chocobo race. "No thanks. I don't usually eat anything this early."

Cloud frowned but still couldn't be bothered with the goth's sleeping habits. "Okay... is Cid coming home soon?"

"Probably, if he doesn't go to a bar. Your cousin is a budding alcoholic." Vincent's tone was a flat monotone, like he'd just said that it looks a bit cloudy outside.

"Do you work anywhere?"

Now Vincent frowned and looked at the blond from the corner of his eyes. "Yes."

"Just wondering. You seem to be here a lot."

"Hmm. Believe it or not, my apartment is even worse than this."

"Oh. How did you and Cid meet?"

"What is this, twenty questions? If you want me to fuck off, just say so." The goth muttered but didn't seem annoyed.

"Just wondering. Is the bedroom as bad as Cid said it is?" Cloud continued, smiling slightly.

"Worse. I'll sit on the chair..." Vincent took the hint and got up, moving to the squeaking chair by the window.

Cloud kicked his boots off and stretched on the couch. The goth didn't seem to be as rude as he had thought. "Thanks."

"No problem."

Cloud closed his eyes and let the TV drift off to the background as he started to think on what had happened that day. There was certainly something about Aeris that he needed to find out more about. He knew that he'd forgotten a lot, more than just the last three months, and something in her reminded him of it. He was sure he'd never met her before, so it couldn't be that. The blond decided to go back the next day and find her. Talk to her. And the day after that, and the one after that, until he'd remember something. Maybe she could help him unlock the barriers in his mind.

**-x-x-x-**

The evening was deceivingly quiet, and none of them dared to truly trust the sudden peace. Winter was slowly turning towards spring, but it was still so cold. The sun had settled a few hours ago and the dark blue sky was dotted with a myriad of stars. Only a few men were on watch, constantly scanning the battlefields of the last few days and the no man's land between them and the enemy's lines. No animals lived here anymore, so if something moved, it was the enemy.

The rest of the Wutaian troops were in their shabby barracks, built around a small bunker, trying to sleep or at least let their muscles rest. ShinRa could attack any moment, they had made a habit of attacking in the middle of the night, or just after the last attack, forever keeping the Wutaians on their toes. And it was starting to get to them.

Even though they had the best general they could think of, a man born in Wutai, the natives were starting to think again that the war was as good as lost. When general Sephiroth had taken over Lord Godo in leading the troops, it had gotten better, and the Wutaians had started to believe that they had a chance of finishing the war, and soon. But ShinRa had countered by sending out two of their own generals, accompanied with fresh troops. When it had become clear that the invaders were growing too strong, the spellcaster had been sent to help them. Just a kid, really, but again, he had made a difference. ShinRa had far more men than Wutai did, so they just answered with sending in more troops. But the battles were more even now, with a few of the powerful spellcasters on their side, able to throw in spells that took out five, sometimes maybe even ten men at once. Even two strong spells like that per battle had made a difference.

But the invaders just kept coming, and even though the Wutaians knew the terrain and had placed many successful ambushes, they were now besieged. Unable to go further back, or the last farms and villages in the land would be in danger, and unable to push ShinRa back as there were so many of them. Still, they had planned a surprise attack, and if ShinRa just kept their distance tonight, they'd be strong enough to hit the invaders full force before the sun would rise. If everything went as planned, they'd at least hit them and hard. Maybe hard enough to drive them back a bit.

"Then we'll attack again, when they're still licking their wounds, before their reinforcements come in, and we will push them back." Sephiroth's voice was so full of conviction that they all just had to believe him. There was no option. They'd go in and kick ass, to put it plainly. The Wutaians nodded and, after saluting, wandered off to inform the troops who were supposed to lead the attack at dawn. Sephiroth watched them go, smiling, hoping that his words were enough to keep them fighting.

"You realize, love, that it's not that simple..." the silver-haired general muttered when they were alone. Cloud shrugged, not looking up from sharpening his sword.

"It never is. But as long as we believe that we'll win, we'll win." The spellcaster muttered and closed his eyes when a strong hand came down to stroke his wild hairs. His hands stopped and Cloud just about purred when the hand was joined by another one, and they slid down to his shoulders, rubbing gently.

"I want you to get a good night's sleep, love. Because tomorrow I'll need you to give me 200 percent of what you've got."

"I know, Seph... all the spells I've got and then some." Cloud muttered, melting under the ministrations of the skilled hands. He was tired, but had been too tense to sleep earlier. Now he had to fight to stay awake.

"It'll be hard..."

"... But worth it. I know the deal, general, sir."

Lips touched his neck, and Cloud did purr. Sephiroth chuckled behind his back.

"Love you, lovely. Now get some sleep. I'll wake you when it's time to go."

The sword was taken from his hands and placed carefully on the ground. All Cloud had to do was guide himself on the cot, and then he was asleep, even before the general spread the blanket on him. War was hell, but moments like this made it a bit more bearable.

Sephiroth left his young lover, smiling softly and marveling how lucky they'd been to meet each other. He'd often heard people talk of love, and sing mushy songs, but he'd never really bought it, thinking it was just wishful thinking. But what he had with Cloud... it was something so beautiful and special it would kill him to lose it. And for something like that to blossom in the middle of a horrible war like this... what were the odds of that happening?

"Thank you, Leviathan..." the general whispered and glanced once more into the barracks before stepping outside to check on the watchmen.

Not half an hour had passed when Sephiroth, ever the warrior, could feel in the back of his neck that something was wrong. He instantly turned towards the barracks, cutting short what he had just been saying to one of the watchmen at the far end of the trenches.

"Sir?"

"Did you hear something?"

Sephiroth barely had time to finish the sentence when they heard the cries and gunshots. They both took off running, and most of the other watchmen followed, leaving only a few to watch the fields. The ice covering the small puddles broke beneath their feet, the slushy, iced snow making it harder to run in the trenches, but nothing could stop Sephiroth when he sensed danger.

They were about twenty feet from the barracks when they heard the explosion. Half of the roof collapsed, and men cried, dying and in pain. They all stopped in shock and just stared for a few heartbeats, until Sephiroth exploded into action and just about flew over the snow and falling debris.

"Watch the fields they're bound to attack! You there, start clearing the mess, get the wounded to safety! What the hell happened!"

The men obeyed immediately, picked up their weapons before starting to clear the ruins of the barracks. Someone reported that a bomb had exploded on the door, a suicide bomber from ShinRa's side, but no one knew how he'd gotten there. Half of the roof had collapsed, almost half of the men inside seemed to be uninjured and already helping the others. Sephiroth swallowed hard when he realized that most of the men had slept near the door, in case of a surprise attack. He kept barking out orders and helping the injured, making a mental checklist of the dead, so many dead, although the only thing he wanted to do was get to Cloud, NOW. He had left the spellcaster sleeping somewhere around the middle of the small building, and hoped that he was far enough to be alright. And not under the roof. Please, Leviathan, let him be alright...

"Sir! Come quickly!" One of the soldiers called, and Sephiroth turned to see the man waving to him, just under the part of the roof which was still up. The general made his way carefully there, calling out for help for those he came across on the way. Only a few feet, but still so many dead and wounded... more than in any of the last battles. They couldn't afford to lose this many men... they just couldn't. ShinRa must have known.

All other thoughts promptly disappeared when he reached the man and saw what had happened.

Luckily, Cloud had been on the safe side of the collapse. Well, most of him. The blond's cot had fallen over and covered him from dust and debris, but only after the roof had already collapsed. Sephiroth figured that the spellcaster had instinctively reached for his sword when the first warnings had been shouted, thus having his right hand out when the beam had fallen and crushed the limb. Cloud was barely conscious, moaning and crying in pain. There was blood on the blond's forehead, and the beam was still on his arm so Sephiroth didn't know how serious the injury was, but he could guess that the blond wouldn't be fighting or casting many spells soon.

"... Shit. Help me get it off of him."

The two of them managed to lift the beam, and found the unfortunate soldier who had been completely crushed by it. Sephiroth winced, recognizing the dead man as a boy from his home village. But right now he was more worried about the survivors. Still fearing an attack, they had to get the wounded somewhere safe. As far as he knew, their only healer, besides Cloud, was still alive. He'd have his hands full tonight.

The general winced again when he saw the bone sticking out through the spellcaster's skin both above and below the elbow. The joint seemed to be just bloody pulp, and it was clear that the arm would have to be cut off unless it was healed right away. The soldier was already calling for the healer, realizing the same thing Sephiroth knew. With so many men gone, without Cloud's spells the war was lost.

Sephiroth was loathe to leave his lover even in the healer's hands, but the horn that warned the troops of an attack sounded just then, and he was forced to leave.

The attack was short but bloody. ShinRa clearly had expected that there'd only be a few already injured men to oppose them. In stead they met a strong, albeit small, and enraged front of stubborn Wutaians who didn't give in one inch. By dawn the battle was over, and the sun rose above an unusually peaceful battlefield. The men cursed the invaders as they helped the wounded and buried the dead, still weary from battle themselves. Sephiroth was amongst them, working as hard as the other men, even though his thoughts were constantly on Cloud, when he wasn't plotting a new attack, pondering what he could do with such a small number of men.

He tried to go and check on the spellcaster every chance he got, but there was always something urgent that demanded his attention. Finally he had made it into the barracks, and had been relieved when the healer had told him that Cloud's arm would be fine, given time to heal on itself. The man had done his best, but Cloud wouldn't do any more fighting in the next few months. Sephiroth had based his new plans on the fact that the blond wouldn't be able to cast many spells, either, knowing that the most powerful spells involved using both hands.

"Sir!" Sephiroth woke from his thoughts and from staring at the rising sun when a young man approached him, weary and hurt. "Sir, Strife is asking for you, sir." Cloud didn't have a rank as he did, so most of the Wutaians called him by either his first or his last name. Sephiroth was the only to call him 'love'.

"Thank you. Get some rest, that's an order." He said before the soldier had time to object, and rushed towards the remains of the barracks. They'd ended up taking the wounded to the back of the building, erecting tents for the survivors in the trenches and on top of the fallen roof. Cloud was also in the back of the room; Sephiroth didn't need to be guided towards him.

"Love?" He whispered when he got to the bed, and sat down. "Love, are you awake?"

Cloud's right arm was entirely splintered and bandaged to keep it from moving, and he also had a bandage around his head. The spellcaster's skin was so pale and there were dark rings around his eyes.

"He's been asking for you for the last fifteen minutes, sir. We were waiting for him to fall back asleep. Looks like he finally did." The healer said, coming to stand next to the general. They'd already gone through the injured soldiers and the list of the deceased ones, and come up with trouble.

"... Didn't... Seph?"

"I'm here, love..." Sephiroth muttered and leaned closer, keeping himself from reaching out and grabbing Cloud's hand. The spellcaster smiled thinly and opened one eye.

"... Let's fry... ShinRa."

Sephiroth let out a small laugh and the healer rolled his eyes.

**-x-x-x-**

* * *

**A.N: **I can't remember who wrote the music used in the Beer song, but Weird Al Yankovic wrote those lyrics... don't ask why I know them...


	5. Chapter 4: Finding

This is a disclaimer. You know what I will say. So let's pretend I wrote it and you read it and we all understand each other. On with the story.

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* * *

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**Chapter Four**

**Finding**

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Cloud opened his eyes and saw Aeris still bending over her flowers and humming quietly. The church had quickly become a sanctuary to the blond. No one besides Aeris ever came here, and the noises from outside rarely broke their peace. The flower girl let him be as well, if he wanted to just sit or have a nap. She seemed to be glad for the company, but happy to have her own peace as well.

They hadn't known each other for more than a few weeks now, but they had become friends during the first two afternoons they'd spent together. Whenever life at Cid's became a bit too much to bear, when his cousin came home drunk and hating his job and the whole world, or when Cid and Vincent locked themselves into the bedroom for hours, Cloud slipped out of the house and wandered the slums until he found her, if not sooner then at the church.

He had learned a lot more about his cousin and the quiet goth during the last few weeks as well. He didn't talk much with either of them, but knew now that Vincent worked the graveyard shift in a liquor store in the slums. They both hated their jobs, but any kind of a job was a necessity in a place like Midgar, unless you wanted to live on the streets. Cloud thought that he'd have to find one soon himself, if he intended to stay here. Thus far he'd lived off the money he'd saved during his years in the Peacemakers, and in the war. But they wouldn't last forever.

Vincent's job had explained easily enough where the two lovebirds had met. As it was one of the few shops which stayed open all hours of the day, Cid had wandered in one night, feeling especially sorry for himself. It had been only a few months after he'd moved into Midgar. The men had hit it off, finding solace in each other's misery, and had started something of a relationship. They both had paled, if it was possible for Vincent to lose any more colour, when Cloud had calculated that they'd been together for over two years then.

"And you said we wouldn't last two weeks!" Cid had exclaimed, triumphant, pointing at Vincent. The goth had just shrugged and blown him a kiss.

Aeris was a bit more of a mystery. She talked a lot, about anything, making it seem easily that she was just an airhead. But after listening to her for a while, Cloud had noticed that she had some strong and clever opinions and ideas. If she had the chance, he thought, she could really make a difference. But for now she seemed content to grow her flowers and spread joy through them.

Cid was forever teasing him about her after his first suspicions had worn off. He and Vincent had both warned Cloud that the slums were full of loonies and con artists, and that she might be one of them. But after he'd told them that he trusted her they'd said that maybe she was harmless. Soon Cid started to talk of her as Cloud's girlfriend, asking every evening if he'd had a nice day with his girlfriend. After the first three times Cloud had just sighed and started to say yes.

Even though she liked to talk about her childhood, she was strangely quiet when it came to her parents. She'd told him in the first few days that she lived with her stepmother, a woman called Elmyra. She certainly loved her like a mother, but was a bit bitter for she seemed to be sure that her real parents had abandoned her. She didn't know if they were dead or alive, which annoyed her. Cloud hadn't believed her at first when she'd claimed to have some sort of psychic abilities. For example, she'd known when Elmyra's husband had died in one of the wars in Wutai, even though the woman hadn't heard of him in months and Aeris had never met the man. Still, she had know. But her own parents were a blank spot in her mind. A total mystery. She couldn't feel them at all, the way she claimed to feel the people around her.

"Like I feel the pain in you, Cloud." She'd said it a few times now, looking at him worriedly. He had just shrugged it off, telling her not to mind it. She had offered to help, and he had accepted, but hadn't yet dared to explain everything to her. Only that he couldn't remember anything of his life for that certain period of time. The flower girl had suggested that if he didn't try to remember, his memories would perhaps come easier.

Sometimes he wondered how they all could put up with him, and could only be grateful for having such friends. He didn't speak at all about the last few years, not to Aeris, who only knew that he had somehow lost his memory, or to Cid and Vincent, who knew a bit more but had no idea about the storm inside of him. The three were only aware that he had fought in the war, but not much else, and until he'd remember, that was as much as Cloud wanted them to know. They'd only ask questions.

For most of the time, he was quiet, frustrated and quick to anger, although he rarely let it go any further than that. Still, they did their best not to annoy him, and even Cid had calmed down a bit, although he was forever making his cousin blush. They had all learned to leave him alone when he was feeling depressed or anxious, when he'd suddenly forget what he was saying or doing and just wander off. 'They must take it as some form of shell shock,' Cloud thought and figured that in a way, it was.

The blond did his best not to think too much about him, for it made him want to curl up into a ball and cry his heart out. But he never had enough peace to do that. And if he thought of him too much, not knowing what had happened felt ten times worse. He kept tying himself in knots to make sure no emotion showed, ever, but didn't realize that soon he wouldn't be able to open them anymore.

Aeris stood up from the flowerbed, shook the soil from her skirt and walked over to where Cloud was lying on one of the pews, on a blanket she had brought for him. She sat down next to him and sighed. "Had a nice nap?"

"Yeah. It's so peaceful here, I can understand why you love the place..." Cloud muttered and pushed himself up to a sitting position. She smiled and brushed one of her bangs away from her eyes, but the stubborn hairs returned immediately to tickle her.

"What did you dream about?" Her voice was still as playful as usual, but her eyes seemed serious. The blond shrugged and frowned.

"The war, I think. The dream's fading. Why?"

"You were talking in your sleep."

"Oh. What did I say?" Cloud felt himself blush a bit, hoping he hadn't said anything stupid. When they were kids, Cid had always teased him for calling for mother in his sleep. And he had liked to tease him about it as well.

"Something about the war, people dying. You kept asking for someone, you sounded really scared, and didn't calm down for fifteen minutes. Then you started to smile. Just before you woke up."

"Really? I can't remember much of it. I thought I slept for five minutes..." Cloud muttered, hoping that she would stop talking or change the subject before she'd end up saying something he didn't want to hear.

"Two hours. Cloud, who's Seph?"

The blond felt all blood drain away from his face. The world spun around and a static noise rose, almost hurting his ears. He let out a small noise and grabbed the bench, just to stay sitting up. Aeris' hand was instantly on his shoulder. When the noise faded, he could hear her calling him, asking if he was all right. He turned slowly to face her, and saw only the green eyes. Green eyes, smiling at him, so close to his, so full of love, rage, despair, comfort, all of the thousands of shades of emotions he could suddenly see in them. Sorrow, fear, ecstasy, tenderness. But they weren't her eyes. They were HIS eyes. Sephiroth's.

His voice, in his ears, whispering sweet nothings. Hearing even one word would have meant the world to him now, but he couldn't make out a single one. Just soft murmurs and noises, sometimes drowned out by the sound of a gun, or bombs. But always there, to make him feel safe.

She was shaking him now, gently but urgently, and her voice finally made it through to his mind. Cloud shook his head and blinked a few times before turning to face the woman.

"... Aeris?"

"Cloud what happened? I thought you fainted!"

He gasped and sobbed, realizing that what he had just seen and heard was gone. All gone, in the past which he could never live again. Only the afterimages lingered in his mind. He felt hot tears sting his eyes, and Aeris tried to embrace him when the sobs started to shake him. He pulled free, growling something, and she moved instantly away, looking hurt but understanding. Cloud couldn't stand the pity in her eyes, but instead of making him angry it just made him cry harder.

She raised her hand but he moved away, turning his face so that she couldn't see. "Don't touch me."

"... I'm sorry, Cloud..." Aeris whispered, got up and returned to her flowers. He left while her back was turned, without a word.

* * *

Zack had found out the hard way that knowing someone's name was NOT enough if one wanted to find that someone in Midgar. He had spent the last week searching the slums now, after a few days on the plate. That had been easier, as the company kept records on everyone who worked up there. Even with his mediocre hacking skills he had managed to find out that he wouldn't find Cid there. But the slums... eight sectors of chaos. Only the area known as Wall Market seemed to be a bit more organized, but the people there knew little of the other slum dwellers, unless they were of importance to their businesses. Cid obviously wasn't. Zack had thought that knowing the young man's profession would help some, but he'd soon realized that it didn't matter what you'd studied to be, here you did the job that was given to you or went hungry. But he still searched for technicians first.

He was a renegade now. The masters had made it very clear. Cloud may be in Midgar, but if he followed the spellcaster there, he was out of the Peacemaker's reach. He got into trouble, he was on his own. No one would come to help. Master Ranael had tried to reason with him for the longest, reminding him that he was trying to find someone he'd never even met, from the largest city in the world, where anyone could disappear into without problems. Strife had been absent-minded and grief-struck the whole of the short time he'd been in the north continent, there was no telling what he'd do, but leaving like that, it was fairly sure that the blond didn't want anyone to find him. The master had tried to convince Zack to let the man have his peace. Maybe he'd eventually come back.

Zack had countered with saying that if Cloud really was so out of it, it'd be a crime to let him wander off like this, and that he owed it to Sephiroth to see that the spellcaster didn't come to any harm. It was the right thing to do. Ranael had agreed with that, but had still ordered for the fighter to come back north. Zack had closed his PHS at that point, and hadn't answered it since. He had made up his mind, and now he was already in Midgar.

Most people were in awe when they saw the metallic city for the first time. It seemed like it was floating in air, the plate, but it was suspended there, over the slums, with metal and concrete towers. Walking beneath the plate sent shivers up and down Zack's spine, he couldn't forget for a second that there were tons of metal and people above him. How could they be sure it didn't just fall on the slums? How could anyone live beneath it? His own wonder at the developed life above the plate soon disappeared, after the first two hours in the slums. Midgar was supposed to be the richest and most powerful city on the planet, but that clearly meant only above the plate. The slums were the sorriest sight of human life he'd ever witnessed.

He supposed that night had fallen some time ago, as it was even darker now than it had been earlier. He was somewhere in Sector 4, if the signs could be trusted. Only a few people were out at this hour, mostly drunks and prostitutes. Zack avoided both, darting from one door to another, checking the names on them. He had passed a church earlier, and curious, had gone inside. The place had been empty, and clearly abandoned long ago as a place of worship, but there was a bed of flowers on the front of the church where the floorboards had been torn off. Someone was clearly taking care of the flowers, but that someone hadn't been there then.

Now Zack stepped in to an open shop, just to avoid a pair of thugs who eyed him menacingly. He could beat them without problems, he knew it, but didn't want to draw attention or trouble to himself.

It was a liquor store, obviously. The gothic man behind the counter glared at him, more annoyed than happy to see a potential customer. Zack flashed him a quick smile and the man turned back to the thick book he was reading.

"Don't even think about stealing anything. I have a gun."

The fighter frowned at the words and the bored tone which they were delivered with, and turned back to the man.

"Excuse me?"

"Don't. Steal. Me. Have. Gun." The man growled, not looking up from the book. Zack cocked his head, smiled lopsidedly and walked to the counter. The goth looked up now, worry flashing quickly in his blood-red eyes before it was replaced with anger.

Zack leaned on the counter and gave the man his most disarming smile, although it seemed to only make the goth more suspicious. "Well that's a nice how-do-you-do. Do you always welcome strangers that warmly here in Midgar?"

"If you're going to buy something, please do so and go away."

"Does your boss pay you extra for politeness? Or for the lack of it?"

"My boss doesn't work here every night. He can screw himself for all I care. Are you buying or not?"

"Nope."

"Then get out."

The red eyes returned to the book and Zack turned on his heels with a shrug. "Fine."

"Have a nice day." The goth muttered when he was already at the door. "Let the door slam on your butt..."

Zack almost turned back but didn't bother. He had more important things to concern himself with than one jerk behaving badly. Luckily the thugs had disappeared by the time he got out, and the fighter sighed, trying to figure out what to do next. He really hoped that Cloud wouldn't wander these streets alone at night. It wasn't likely, not based on what he knew of the spellcaster. So he might as well find a nice warm place and get some sleep. The church came instantly to mind, and Zack turned on his heels and started to walk in the direction he'd come from.

He was surprised to find a clean, neatly folded blanket resting on one of the pews, as if it was left there to wait for him. With a shrug, the fighter stripped off his boots and most of his weapons and picked up the blanket. As he unfolded it, something fell to the floor with a quiet thump. Zack frowned and dropped the blanket back on the pew, kneeling down.

There was a thin book on the floor, right next to his feet. He figured someone must have folded it into the blanket, either by accident or to keep it safe. Well, didn't matter, he'd have something to read if he couldn't sleep.

With a yawn, the fighter settled on the hard wooden surface, pulled the blanket over himself and picked up the book. The covers were unmarked, not even showing the book's name. He leafed quickly through it and moaned when he noticed how small the print was. He'd get a headache in no time, trying to read that with such little light. Flipping back to the front page, he was still curious to see what the book was called.

"... '_A game of you_'... ooo-kay. Sounds... nice..." Zack muttered to himself and grinned. Then his eyes wandered to the inside of the front cover, and to the writing there. "What's this, then... '_Midgar, 5th September, 2678, C. Strife_'. Hey, that's only a few days- WHAT THE HELL!"

Zack shot up from the pew, almost slipped off as he tried to see better to make sure he wasn't mistaken. "Oh shit... it does say C. Strife... could it..."

Did the spellcaster live here, in this church? It would be too much of a coincidence, but then again, wouldn't it be a bigger coincidence if there was another C. Strife in town? Strife didn't strike him as a common surname. It couldn't be anyone else... could it? Zack leafed through the book again, and a small note fell from between pages. He picked it up, turned it around and read the few words on it.

"'Sorry about last night. Had this done for ya, now you can come and go as you wish. Cid.' Cid as in Cid Highwind? Well… damn."

Zack didn't sleep much that night, waiting for Cloud to step in through the doors.

* * *

"Morning, boyo..."

Cloud woke up to Cid's cheery, although hung over greeting and lifted his head out of the pillow. It smelled of nicotine, everything in the apartment smelled like that, but he was getting used to it. Still, when he came back from spending the day in the slums, the stench hit him like a fist. The only good thing about it was that it was a change from the smell of blood, carnage and death.

"... Morning..." he muttered and let his head fall back to the warm pillow when Vincent wandered out of the bedroom. The goth went straight to the bathroom and soon they could hear the shower running.

Cid yawned and scratched his stomach as he came out of the kitchen with a cold beer. He flopped down on the couch, barely avoiding crushing his cousin's feet, and turned the TV on with the remote. A cheery, bright cartoon was just beginning, the title music loud and intolerably positive. "Don't ya just love Saturdays?" The mechanic muttered with a grin and settled more comfortably to the couch while Cloud pulled his legs up to his chest. "The whole day and weekend all to yourself, no work, no obligations, just hanging around, drinkin', and bad TV!"

"... Great." Cloud muttered into the pillow and pulled the blanket over his head. He'd had nightmares all night, of the war, but for once he could still remember them. Probably because HE wasn't in them, and because he knew that what he'd dreamed hadn't happened. It was just a dream, not a memory.

He'd dreamed of a whole city under an attack, the size of Midgar but resembling Nibelheim or Wutai more because of the small size of the buildings. Most of the town was in flames, people dying, stuck under collapsing buildings, choking on poison gas, being shot... he had followed someone, one of the attackers, maybe even the one who had started the whole affair by shooting one of the generals. Not him, someone else. But Cloud remembered how he'd followed the man in the dream, running till his legs and chest ached, not realising how the scenery changed from war to a peaceful, late summer evening in a large holiday town, small buildings and huts stretching as far as the eye could see. He'd stopped, surprised, realising he'd completely lost track of the man he was following. He'd turned around, again and again, seeing that he had no idea where he was or how to get back to the battle, where he was needed. He had ran too far, away from his friends and the other soldiers. He couldn't even hear the bombs or the cries of the dying anymore. This part of the town was completely peaceful, with no sign of trouble of any kind.

The only thing was... there were no people anywhere. The houses and gardens were completely empty. It was like a world created only for him. He had tried to shout, asking if there was anyone here, but his words didn't even echo in the heavy, dusty evening air. The world was noiseless and empty. He was all alone.

That's when he'd woken up, in the middle of the night, only to realize that he still felt so alone. It was almost pitch black outside, only the dim light of a streetlight flowed in through the thick, almost poisonous air. But at least it wasn't so quiet here... there were noises from outside, the television from upstairs, Cid snoring in the bedroom... noises that only made him feel more isolated from everything.

It had taken him almost an hour to fall asleep again, and only to find himself still wandering the empty streets, all alone. Now that he was starting to be wholly awake, he got the nagging feeling that he'd done something wrong. Hurt someone or said something. He tried not to remember, for once, tried to fall back to sleep, but grew curious when the water stopped running suddenly and they could hear Vincent cursing loudly. After a few moments, a dripping goth with a towel around his waist came out, glaring viciously at Cid.

"Did you pay the water bill like I've been reminding you to do for the past two weeks?"

Cloud looked up to see the goth's long, black hair still soaped up, bubbles falling to his chest from the longer bangs. Cid turned to look as well and snorted, clearly amused by what he saw.

"Yeah yeah, I paid it. Neighbours probably used up all the water again... give it a few hours..."

"A few hours? How am I supposed to rinse my hair?" Vincent shouted, his voice rising. The soapy, shrill Vincent was just too much to bear, Cloud buried his face in the pillow and started to laugh quietly. The goth was still too mad with Cid and his neighbours to notice, but the mechanic did, and tried very hard not to laugh himself.

"What's so goddamn funny?"

"Nothing! I swear! There's beer and some water in the fridge, if you're in such a hurry you can rinse the soap off with that!" Cid suggested, fighting to keep his face straight and losing fast. Cloud's shaking shoulders didn't help at all. The blond finally let it rip when Vincent's red eyes grew large as teacups.

"Beer! You want me to rinse MY HAIR with BEER! Are you out of your mind?"

Both Cloud and Cid were too busy laughing to give any kind of an answer. Even the cartoon characters were laughing, although their joke was on someone else.

Vincent fumed at the blonds, blush creeping up his thin face. He stood there for a few more moments, trying to salvage what was left of his dignity. With one last death glare, he flipped his wet, bubbly hair back, throwing sprays all over the room, and marched back to the bedroom, slamming the door shut.

"Oh great... now he's MAD..." Cid muttered when he finally stopped laughing a few minutes later. "But it was SO worth it... he he he... did ya see the look on his face...?" He collapsed to a fit of giggles while Cloud pushed himself up on his elbows and turned to look at his cousin. It had felt so good to laugh again, even if it had been on someone's expense. He couldn't remember when he'd last laughed so. And he was still smiling.

"Is he really angry?"

"Don't worry about it, I'll make it up to him. He won't be angry at ya. I think." Cid said and pulled out a cigarette.

Cloud sat up and wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. He waved his hand to push the first puffs of smoke from his face, and remembered what had happened yesterday.

"Oh shit..."

"Huh?" Cid asked, attention riveted to the cartoon.

"I think I managed to hurt Aeris's feelings yesterday..." Cloud muttered, remembering how he'd pushed her away and left without saying a word. He knew that she was understanding, but still felt like he needed to do something to apologize.

"Whad'ya do? Stepped on her flowers or something?" The mechanic joked, grinning with the cigarette between his teeth. Cloud shrugged.

"No... I was just... rude to her."

"If it were someone else but the famous flower girl, I'd tell ya to take flowers to her. Would be kinda... weird to do that, though, since she's one of the few here that actually sell flowers. Tell you what, there's this nice restaurant in Wall Market, take her there. No chick, or guy, can resist an apology offered with good food." Cid said, dropping ash to the palm of his hand. Cloud reached for the ashtray from the table and offered it to him.

"You must do a lot of apologizing to know all that..." the spellcaster said, smiling slightly again. Cid laughed and nodded.

"Yup. Although with Vinnie, I have my own... special ways... wink wink, nudge nudge..."

"I don't want to know..." Cloud muttered with a grin and buried his head underneath the pillow while Cid laughed some more.

* * *

"Would you like a flower? They're only a gil each."

Cloud stopped just before bumping into her and took a step back, watching as the man she'd talked to walked away without giving an answer. The blond frowned, wondering why she even tried.

"Hi Aeris."

"Cloud!" She smiled and turned to him, although the smile seemed a bit forced. "How do you feel? Did you make it back to your cousins without trouble? Did you sleep well? Do you remember anything?"

Cloud waved a hand to silence her. "I'm fine. Had a dream but didn't remember anything. I... don't think I ever will..."

"Don't give up so soon. I'm sure it'll all come to you, eventually." She said quietly and smiled gently when he looked up. Her green eyes still managed to confuse him completely.

"... Aeris, I'm sorry about yesterday I... didn't mean it. I just get so... frustrated..." he muttered, not daring to look up, fearing that he'd managed to lose one of his few friends.

"Here, have a flower..." she muttered and slipped a blue flower to his shirt's pocket. He bent down to smell it and slipped a gil to her basket. She wouldn't take money from him anymore, but he didn't want her to go hungry.

"So. What do you want to do today?" Aeris asked, once again smiling. Cloud shrugged and turned as they started walking towards the next sector.

"I don't know... I thought I could buy you a dinner at the Wall Market. Cid says there's a nice little restaurant there." He was actually looking forward for a change to the usual bread and uncooked vegetables that he bought for Cid's place. They had managed to do the dishes, eventually, all three of them working the skin off their hands to scrub the kettles clean, but so far none of them had gotten hungry enough to cook a proper meal.

"You mean like a date?" Aeris asked, laughing when Cloud looked at her, baffled, and started to stutter something. "Oh, Cloud, I was just joking! Yes thank you, I'd like that very much. And I can pay for my share, you know."

"Yeah. I'd still like to do this, kind of as a thank you for letting me sleep at the church and all."

"You don't need to, but if it'll make you happy. You should be happy more, Cloud. Just because you can't remember your past doesn't mean you should stop living your future."

Deep down, he knew that she was right. But he didn't want to let go, not when he knew that there was so much he'd lost, so much he needed to know to be able to go on. She meant well, but couldn't understand that without his past, he couldn't have a future either. Too much was missing. It made him so angry and frustrated, knowing and not knowing.

* * *

It was already late in the afternoon, almost evening, when they were on their way back to the church, having enjoyed the day's special at the restaurant. They had wandered the market for a few hours as well, after Aeris had told him that she hadn't been there in a long time, the place being quite intimidating for a lady to walk alone in. They avoided the brothel and most of the bars, but Aeris had a good time at a dress shop, looking through the beautiful dressed and wondering what would look good on her.

"I don't think I'll ever have enough money left over to buy any of these..." she said sadly as they left the shop. Cloud almost offered to buy her one, but remembered that his own money was running out fast. He'd have to get that job, and soon.

"Do you want to go back to the church? I could pick up some more flowers. I should come back to Wall Market more often!" She had sold all her flowers, someone had even offered to buy the one peeking out of Cloud's pocket. "But then again, I think that people in other sectors need them more. They do make them happy, you know."

"Yeah..." Cloud finally got his mouth open again. He wished that Aeris would start babbling again, so he could just listen to her voice and forget everything else for a while.

"Maybe I won't even try to sell more today, I've made enough money for one day. But I want to check on them. Then we could do something fun!" She grabbed his arm, trying to cheer him up, and started to guide him back to the church. Cloud got the strange feeling that they were followed, but since the slums were full of people he ignored it and concentrated on her words.

* * *

Zack froze when he started to hear voices. He'd wandered off to the back of the church, finding a staircase leading up and eventually to the roof. He had sat there for hours before and after noon, had even fallen asleep for a while, and had decided to go back down when he'd heard them. He looked through a hole in the roof, trying to make out where the sounds were coming from.

The voices were very quiet, he barely heard them until he slipped back inside, and moved noiselessly towards the church itself. There was a hole in the wall, just a small one, near the roof, and peeking through it he could see almost the whole church, from the main door to the bed of flowers.

And there he was.

A short girl, dressed in pink and red, with long, brown hair, was on her knees next to the flowers, tending to them and talking. Zack couldn't quite make out the words, but the tone of them was cheery and soothing. He felt like he could listen to the voice forever, until he noticed the man, standing not far from the girl. He was kind of short as well, with blond hair that stood up in spikes, making him seem taller. He was dressed in a casual, light blue shirt and black cargo pants, and stood next to her, apparently relaxed but, to Zack's trained eye, on his guard, ready to act. He couldn't make out the face, couldn't see if the eyes were blue, but the hair was enough to convince him. It had to be Cloud.

Zack was about to run down the stairs and grab the man before he'd disappear again when he saw two shadows appear at the door. He pressed his eye to the hole and frowned, wondering if this meant trouble.

Neither the girl nor Cloud seemed to notice the two men who stepped into the church. Zack didn't recognize the men but knew their uniforms from photographs. They were Turks, ShinRa's elite troops who specialized in enforcing public relations. Hitmen, to put it bluntly. 'Yes, Zack,' a voice in his mind whispered, 'This means Trouble.'

* * *

"There's an old playground not far from here, it's almost abandoned. I like to sit there and just think. You'd like it. We'll go there, all right, Cloud?"

"Yeah, great..." Cloud muttered and frowned. He had always trusted his instincts, warning him of trouble and telling him if someone was following him. But there were so many people in Midgar that he had learned to ignore most of them, or he'd jump at every shadow. Now, he was sure that he'd made a mistake in ignoring them. The feeling of being followed hadn't let off at all, not even when they'd got to the church. On the contrary, it was added with the feeling of being watched. He looked around nervously, cursing quietly that he only had his knife and a low-level ice-materia on him.

"Cloud? What's... oh." Aeris had turned to look at him, and noticed the two men first. Cloud whirled around the next second, knife already in hand when he saw the men, recognizing them as Turks immediately. She got up as well, and calmly smoothed the dirt and wrinkles from her skirt.

The two men in dark blue suits walked closer, their features hidden by the light that poured in from behind them. One was a bit shorter than the other, or then he just walked with a slouch. His hair was bright red, and he twirled a stick in his hands. The other one had dark hair, and seemed unarmed.

"What do you want?" Cloud asked, wondering if he could take out two Turks alone. He had never met one before, but had heard that they were all very good at what they did.

The Turks stopped, looked at each other and turned slowly back to them.

"We merely wish to speak with Aeris." The dark-haired one said, completely ignoring him. The man's dark eyes were fixed on the flower girl. The red-head chuckled and they could hear electricity crackling and saw sparks around his weapon. He seemed more curious with Cloud, but didn't ignore the conversation between the other Turk and Aeris either.

"When will you leave me alone, Tseng? I've told you, I'm not whoever you are looking for! I don't have any 'magical powers', I just grow flowers." She said, sounding like she'd really said the same thing many, many times. The dark-haired Turk, Tseng, shook his head.

"We both know that that isn't true, Aeris. You can come quietly with us now, or-"

"Never!"

"... be dragged in later with the help of soldiers. The President is growing impatient; he wishes to finally meet you."

"No! Leave me alone!" Aeris turned away from them, trying to motion for Cloud to do the same. But the blond had already taken a step forward.

"You heard her. Leave now." The spellcaster said, loud and clear. Aeris grimaced when the red-head laughed and Tseng turned his attention to the blond.

"And if we don't? Who'll make us? You?" Tseng inquired, his voice amused. "Reno, why don't you teach our young friend a lesson?"

The red-head stepped forward and winked at Cloud. "My pleasure, boss."

"No! Stop! Cloud, don't!" Aeris shouted, turning to face all three men. "This is a church, please, don't fight here!"

"Too late." Tseng said and stepped out of Reno's way. But the red-head wasn't eager to fight anymore, in fact he was starting to back away from the blond.

"Uh, boss..." Reno was gesturing wildly in Cloud's direction, trying to make a point but not succeeding well.

"Reno, what are you waiting for? Get him." Tseng ignored his waving and started to pull out his own gun.

"I don't think so."

They all turned to see Zack step in, his large Buster-sword in hand and a determined look on his face. "I'd suggest that you Turks do like the lady asked and hit the road." From behind the sword, he showed them his own gun, aimed at Tseng. "Now."

Tseng lifted his hands and started to back away. "Fine, we'll leave. But you haven't seen the last of us." With one hand he grabbed Reno's sleeve, the red-head still staring at Cloud intently. Backs first, they were soon out of the church.

"I suggest we do the same. They might come back, with reinforcements." Zack said, sheathing his weapons. Cloud kept his knife in hand and clearly visible as he and Aeris turned to the stranger.

"Who are you and why shouldn't I throw you out with them?" The blond said, moving slowly to cover Aeris with his own body. Zack spread his hands and smiled.

"Don't worry, Cloud. I'm a friend."

"How do you know my name?"

"Well, I heard the lady call you by it, and... we have some mutual friends. Nice to finally meet you, Cloud. I'm Zack."

/_"I have some good news..."_/

Cloud blinked and let his guard down a bit.

/_"I just got a message from Zack, he'll also be returning from his mission."_/

"Z-zack?"

/_"You'll finally get to meet him."_/

The voice was so clear in his mind, the words ringing like they'd just come out of the mouth, so new and fresh. And the voice was so warm, and always a bit teasing. He loved to tease him. Always. And in the next heartbeat, it was all gone. Cloud dropped his knife and lifted his hands to cover his face.

"Cloud!"

"Hey, are you all right?"

He shook their hands off and jumped back. "Leave me alone!" Before either had time to react, he was out of the church, running headlong towards home.

* * *

Cid had just come home and sat down on the couch, next to Vincent, when the door opened and slammed closed. They heard stumbling steps and soon Cloud stepped into the living room, face pale and teary-eyed. He was gasping for breath, and clearly had planned to crash on the couch. Now he just stood there, staring at them.

"What the hell happened?" Cid jumped up, worried, and grabbed his cousin by the arms. "Are you hurt? Did someone do something to you? Come on, kiddo, talk to me!"

Vincent stood up as well, frowning, looking uncomfortable. Cid shook Cloud a bit and tried to joke. "What, did you have a fight with your girlfriend?"

Cloud turned to look at him, sobbed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand. "Fuck off."

Cid's good humours disappeared instantly and he almost pushed the younger blond away. "Fine. You know what? You can fuck off too. Fuck off and find yourself another home." With a few more selected curses he marched into the kitchen.

Cloud sobbed again and half collapsed on the couch, wiping his eyes dry. There was a quiet, uncomfortable moment, broken only by Cid's cursing and the TV.

"Do you want to talk?" Vincent asked quietly, and slid bonelessly down to sit next to the blond. Cloud looked up to the gothic man and frowned.

"What?"

"You know how I feel about your cousin, but he can be a... dumbass. He cares for you but doesn't know what to do or how to say it. So I ask, do you want to talk about whatever it is that's eating you from the inside. What happened to make you so sad? And not just now."

Vincent's voice was quiet, but Cloud heard every word in the noisy apartment. He wanted to tell the man to piss off and mind his own business, but something stopped him. Next thing he knew, he was talking.

"I... you know that I was in the war. Half the things I saw there were enough to drive a man insane. But I survived it. I was... I AM... in love." He stopped for a second, staring at his hands and waiting if the tears would come. "He is... was... the most beautiful and amazing person I've ever met. And he loves me too. We fought together, and planned the attacks, and eventually, helped Wutaians win the war. ShinRa was pushed back again.

"Some time later, he and I left Wutai, to go back north and then where ever we wanted to. We got pretty far, I was told that our tracks ended in the desert after the Nibel mountains, where something happened. I don't know what. Later I found that I'd lost almost three months. Gone, disappeared. All I can remember of that time is him, in my arms, cold, still, not breathing, dead..." he choked on the last word and doubled over as in pain. Vincent hesitated for a moment but as the blond started to sob and shake he lifted his hand and gently rubbed Cloud's back. With the other hand he motioned for Cid to join them. He'd seen the man standing just behind the door to the room, listening. The blond sneaked to them and sat carefully onto the arm rest of the couch, to Cloud's right, and embraced his cousin.

"Shit, man, why didn't you tell me..." Vincent heard Cid whisper and looked up to see a tear rolling down his face. Cloud started to cry and shake more violently.

"B-because... I can't... the war... our love... but not what!" The words were too broken for either of them to understand what the spellcaster wanted to say. Vincent pulled back as Cid held Cloud closer, rocking him gently and murmuring comfortingly, trying to get the younger one to calm down.

"Shh, kid... don't cry... or cry, if it helps, what do I know... but if I can help, I will..." Cid whispered. Cloud howled and grabbed his cousin, pressing his face to his chest and wrapping his shaking arms around the waist. Cid did his best to comfort him, looking helplessly at Vincent who stared back, looking as confused as he felt.

After several minutes Cloud finally seemed to cry himself out. Still sobbing, he pushed away from Cid and wiped his eyes. "... sorry... I wet your shirt..." he mumbled and hiccuped as he noticed Cid's soaked shirt. The older blonde just waved the apology away and slid down to the couch as well, wrapping an arm carefully around Cloud's shoulders. The spellcaster sighed and leaned his head against Cid's shoulder.

"Feel better?" Cid asked after a moment and Cloud shrugged.

"A bit."

"Why didn't you tell me in the first place? I would have at least kept my mouth shut..." the blond muttered and pulled out a cigarette. Four bloodshot eyes glared at him instantly, and Cid put the offending stick away with a sigh.

Cloud shrugged again. "I... it's difficult. There's so much I can't remember. I can remember our love. I remember how his smile, his words and his touch made me feel. I remember how hard we fought, how desperately we loved. But when I try to think what happened to him... nothing. I can't... I can't remember. I love him but sometimes it all feels as if he was just a dream, something I imagined and thought was real. If I hear his name my heart breaks. Why can't I remember!" His voice was barely louder than a whisper, until the last words. He buried his face in his hands, sobbing again, and the others feared he'd start to cry.

"He... he had a friend. A man named Zack. I'd never met him before, but now... I was with Aeris, at her church, and some Turks came by and then he was there and he said something, just his name, and I..."

Both Cid and Vincent had twitched when they'd heard the word 'Turks', and gave each other a quick, questioning look over Cloud's back. What was going on?

"... I thought I remembered something, but it was gone the next second. Why... if I loved him so much, and I know I did, why can't I remember our last weeks together!"

"... I wish I could help, kiddo, but ...aw, shit, I'm no good at this." Cid said and ignored the annoyed glances as he lit a cigarette. "Anything we can do to help? To make you feel better?"

Cloud sniffed and shook his head after a moment. "Thanks, but I don't think so... just let me stay here, please?"

"Of course!" Cid squeezed his shoulders and smiled, apologizing. "Forget what I said earlier, didn't mean it. You can stay here as long as you need and want to."

"Thanks. Both of you."

Cid and Vincent gave each other another look, and the goth cleared his throat. "What did the Turks want?"

Cloud shrugged. "They wanted Aeris. They think she has magical powers or something. They said the President wants to meet her."

"... Great. Great great great. I knew she was trouble, didn't I tell you?" Cid muttered and chewed on the filter. "They didn't want anything of you, did they? You didn't talk to them or anything?"

"Of course I did. They were threatening Aeris, tried to kidnap her. I... oh shit, I hope they didn't go back, I left so suddenly, Aeris and... Zack, they're still at the church!" Cloud started to stand up but his cousin grabbed him firmly and pulled him back down.

"Not so fast. Aw, shit. You know what these guys are, right? The Turks. They're killers. You mess with them, they put you six feet under. Figuratively speaking. Most likely you'll be in six million pieces after they're done with you! You mess with them, and they'll hunt you down no matter where you go or who you are. Please, tell me they don't know your name. Please?" Cid had jumped up from the couch and walked in a small circle in front of them. Vincent didn't seem as worried, but then again, he rarely seemed to be anything else besides bored.

"... They might."

"SHIT! You're screwed! No, WE'RE screwed, after they find out where you live!"

"I'm sorry, Cid. We could fight them, if they come." Cloud suggested, watching his cousin.

"Fight them? With what? Dirty socks?"

"... I think the President forbid the use of biological weapons inside city limits, Cid..." Vincent muttered, smiling thinly. Cid swore a bit but couldn't help smiling back. Cloud shrugged. He had lost his sword and materia in the desert, and had taken only a few basic ones and two knives when he had left the Peacemakers. But this was Midgar. He guessed they could buy any kind of weapon they needed from the corner shop.

Cid stopped and looked at them. "Why the hell do I get the idea that you two would LIKE to kick some Turk ass? Are you guys mental or something?"

"Probably."

"Yes."

"Aww shit!" Cid rolled his eyes and snubbed out the cigarette, straight on the table. "And I'm mad enough to join ya..."

* * *

"... And you really don't know where he lives?" Zack asked, rubbing his face. This was just perfect. He'd finally found Cloud, only to see the man run off, and to hear that even his friend didn't know where he lived. Why oh why hadn't he followed the blond!

"No." Aeris shook her head again and looked curiously at the dark-haired fighter. "How exactly do you know him?" They were still standing in the church, almost where they had stood when Cloud so suddenly took off.

"Through a friend. Has he ever mentioned anyone called Sephiroth or Seph to you?"

"... Yes. Seph. But only in his sleep. Awake, there's something he can't remember. It pains him a lot." She was still watching him, but more serious now. Zack could see it in her eyes, how she clearly calculated whether he'd end up hurting Cloud. He forced himself to calm down by breathing deep and tried to smile.

"I see. Well, we better find him before the Turks do."

"The Turks? But they were after me."

"Yeah, but the redhead recognized Cloud, I could see it in his eyes. He won't be safe here, they can't resist coming after him."

"But why? What has he done?" Aeris moved a bit away from the stranger, even though his presence felt more benevolent than dangerous. She knew there was a lot that Cloud hadn't told her, and not only because he couldn't remember, but Zack's answer still surprised her entirely.

"You don't know? Cloud fought in the Wutai war, he was one of the reasons ShinRa got their ass kicked. Seph was THE general to win the war."

"... Really?"

Zack groaned at her baffled expression. "... Oh shit. He really hadn't told you?" If Cloud hadn't explained to this girl who he was, he'd probably had a reason for it. And now he'd blown it.

"No."

"Crap." Zack slapped his forehead and let out a long sigh. "Well, can't be helped. Do you have any idea in which sector he lives?"

"I think it's in sector Seven. Or maybe Eight. I'm not sure. All I know is that it's a big apartment building. He lives with his cousin."

"Cid Highwind?"

"Yes."

"I knew it. Well it helps a little. I'm off, thanks for your help." Zack started out of the church, wanting to get to the other sectors before Cloud's trail grew too cold. Now he could still follow the man by asking if anyone had seen him. But Aeris grabbed his arm when he passed her, and ran to his side.

"Wait, I'm coming too!"

The fighter stopped and smiled, scratching his neck as he looked down at her. He hadn't realized it earlier, but her eyes were so much like Sephiroth's...

"... It might not be safe."

"Cloud is my friend, and it's kind of my fault the Turks saw him. I'm coming." Aeris announced and marched determinedly out of the church. Zack shrugged and followed.

"Fine. Lead the way!"

* * *

"Maybe they won't even care. If they killed everyone who got into trouble with them, half of Midgar would have to die." Vincent said. No matter how exciting the idea had first seemed, they all had realized that if the Turks did come, they'd be in serious trouble. No proper weapons and Cloud the only one who had had any kind of proper training in fighting, they wouldn't survive for long against an organized group of assassins.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Cid muttered, nursing a can of beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other. They were sitting on the couch while Cloud sat on the chair, going through his materia. He had almost gone back to the church but figured that the two had left after he ran out. After all, Zack had been the first to suggest leaving.

"They're just gonna think Cloud's some punk who's trying to protect his girlfriend. It's not like they'd know him from anywhere else, the kiddo's only been in town for less than a month. I mean, he's not a frickin' war hero, right?" He looked at Cloud, smiling, and winked. The spellcaster had frozen in his seat and looked away, uncomfortable. "RIGHT?"

"... Uh, actually..."

"Oh crap. Why couldn't you just say 'right'?"

"What did you do in the war?" Vincent asked.

The blond shrugged and started to place the magical spheres in the slots of his armour. "Well, this and that."

"Didn't you say you planned the attacks with your lover?" Cid asked and his eyes went wide when he started to understand the implications of the words.

"Yes. He led the attacks, and I was often in the back row, throwing spells, and joined the fighting when I'd used them all."

"You're not... he wasn't... you weren't boffin' the friggin' general, were you?" Cid asked very quietly.

Cloud thought about it for a moment and swallowed the lump that rose into his throat. After crying earlier, there seemed to be no stopping the tears. "Umm. Yes, I was."

"Who?" Vincent asked.

"General. Sephiroth. Shit." Cid stared at his cousin, almost in awe. Cloud twitched when he heard the name, but felt just a tug of pain deep inside.

"But if he went missing months ago, why hasn't it been on the news? I haven't heard anything." The goth said, turning from blond to blond. Cloud just shrugged, watching the floor.

"Think about it. Of course they'd hush it up. ShinRa finds out he's... missing, they think 'This is our chance', and attack Wutai straight away. They'd win no problem, even with only a few men, I'd bet. One bomb and Wutai is no more." The mechanic reasoned and also looked at Cloud who was frowning.

"I don't know. Basically, we won the war because ShinRa didn't have any more men to spare either. Their goal was to get the land, so they wouldn't destroy it with big bombs. That's what saved us more than once. I think it was mostly because no one knew what had happened. And it was about the people of Wutai. As far as the world is concerned, THEY won the war. The Peacemakers just sent in a few people to help. Seph... he was from Wutai, so that's why his name was in the public. I was considered just a soldier."

"... Damn..." Cid muttered and sat up straight when there was a loud knock on the door. They all froze and looked at each other in horror.

"... Turks?" Cid whispered. Cloud shrugged.

"Go and see." Vincent whispered back and made gestures towards the door with his head as the knocking continued.

"What!" The blond hissed, going pale.

"They can't shoot you without asking first. If you don't go, they'll come through the door soon." The goth said urgently as Cloud strapped his wristbands and armlets on. Cid got up with shaky feet and muttered a few curses.

"All right I'm coming!" He managed to shout without losing his voice and grabbed one of Cloud's knives from the air when the spellcaster tossed it to him.

"We'll watch your back."

"... It's my front that needs watching..." The mechanic muttered and disappeared from their sight. Vincent stood up as well, and took Cloud's other knife while the blond got ready to throw spells.

They heard the door open and Cid asking what the hell they wanted. Expecting to hear gunshots, they were surprised when the mechanic returned in a moment, looking both relieved and angry. He was followed by two persons, a tall man and a short girl.

Cid looked at his cousin and pointed over his shoulder. "Friends of yours?"

Cloud canceled the spell and lowered his hands. Vincent looked almost disappointed and sat back down, crossing his arms over his chest. Cid sat next to him while Aeris ran to Cloud.

"Are you all right? Why did you leave so suddenly? We were worried!" She said, grabbing his arm. She gasped when she noticed the straps of armour and the glittering stones. "Who were you expecting?"

"The Turks..." Cid muttered and lit a cigarette with shaking hands. Zack nodded and turned his dark violet orbs to look Cloud in the eyes.

"They know who you are, the redhead recognized you. They will come after you, don't doubt it."

"Who the fuck are you?" Cid asked, venting his nervousness with anger.

"Aren't you the smartarse from last night?" Vincent asked, eyeing the fighter. Zack snorted and flashed a quick smile.

"Yeah. And you're the jerk from last night." Cid looked at the goth with a raised eyebrow. "Zackery Lindeman, call me Zack." The fighter continued, still watching Cloud. The blond didn't meet his eyes but stared at the floor in stead. "I've been looking for Cloud here for quite a while now."

"Oh and why is that?" The mechanic growled while the spellcaster tried to block out the words. He didn't want to go back north. That was why Zack was here, right? To take him back where everything was a reminder of HIM. He knew that they'd never even talked before the war, they hadn't really met at all, but still, his presence there had been so strong, everyone asking where he was, what had happened, and offering their help and condolences when they heard that he was dead.

"There are things I'd like to know. Things only he can tell me." Zack said quietly, his shoulders slumping a little when Cloud did his best to ignore him. He still wondered if he had the right to do this, but he had come so far to find the spellcaster that he couldn't just give up and leave completely empty-handed.

"If it's about him, I already told the masters, I can't remember anything. Can't you leave me alone?" the blond finally muttered with resignation, making everyone turn to him. "I just want to be alone. Tell them that."

"The masters didn't send me here. Actually, they almost threatened to sack me if I came. I'm on my own. Please, I've traveled half the world to find you, all I ask is to talk to you for a while. I mean no harm, I don't want to hurt you. But he was my friend, and my teacher. I can't... I won't have peace until I know just a bit more. And I think that you'd like to know more, too. Please, let's talk, I'll try to help you..." the fighter had hoped that he could have said all that to Cloud alone, but the spellcaster's friends seemed adamant not to give them any privacy, although they did turn their eyes now, and Aeris even looked a bit embarrassed. Cloud was still staring at the floor, but he was breathing harder and his face was twisted, he looked like he might cry. But he didn't say a word.

Cid broke the silence after an uncomfortably quiet moment. "Um. I'm gonna go get a beer. Anyone else?"

"... I'll come and help you." Vincent muttered and stood up, quickly following the blond to the kitchen. Aeris chewed on her lower lip and said something about finding the toilet. Cloud still stared at the floor.

When they were alone in the living room, Zack took a careful step closer. "... Cloud? Are you all right?"

The blond sobbed quietly and shook his head. "... No. I've... tried so hard, every day, to remember those months, but... nothing. I know I dream of them, but I can't remember the dreams. The masters tried to help me with spells and even hypnotism, but it was of no use. I can't remember." Now he looked up, quiet voice rising and growing a bit angry. "What makes you think you could do any better?"

Zack took a step back, not quite knowing what to say. What could he do? "... I seriously don't know. But I did know him. And I know that he meant so much to you, and me, that there'll be no peace for us until we know what happened."

Cloud nodded after a moment and sighed. Talking couldn't make him feel any worse, could it? "Fine. But please, not right now." He finally looked into Zack's eyes, and the fighter forgot to breathe for a second. The eyes were so blue, deep as the ocean, and so sad, and lost. He got a strong urge to hold the spellcaster, hug him and tell him it'd be all right. He barely heard the next words, but shook himself awake when he saw Cloud's lips moving. "You said that the Turks recognized me?"

"Uhh, yeah. I know that it wasn't public information who exactly the masters sent to the war, but ShinRa had spies. I was in Wutai some weeks ago and saw the stuff that had been salvaged from their side. Photos, reports, the usual stuff. Of everyone higher than a sergeant. My point is, they know your name and what you look like. And then she called you by your name... I was watching the Turks, and the redhead made the connection straight away. I don't know if they know that you're one of the Peacemakers or not, but it won't stop them if they decide to come after you."

"Why would they?"

"The President is pissed about losing the war, and the land he already had plans for." Vincent said from the kitchen's door and shrugged when the two turned to look at him. "Didn't mean to eavesdrop, but this is a small apartment..."

"It's ok. Go on." Cloud muttered.

"It's no secret that he was going to use the land to dig for Mako and to build expensive holiday homes for the rich. It was advertised on the TV as soon as the war started." The goth said, leaning on the door-frame. Zack nodded and continued.

"The Turks tell the prez that you're here, he'll have them hunt you down and brought to him. I don't know what he could benefit from it, but I can see that he wouldn't just let you leave. And if they do catch you, you'll be in trouble. The Turks won't care about diplomatic immunity if they can kick someone's ass who dented their boss' pride."

"Dip... what? Immunity?" Cid asked. He'd joined Vincent, and Aeris also returned from the toilet, looking a bit disturbed. Cloud guessed it was because she'd had to meet Cid's Towel. Even though they'd cleaned the place up a bit, that thing had stayed in its place. He let his mind wander while Zack explained to them that the Peacemakers basically had diplomatic immunity in peaceful times, wherever they went.

"Well, anywhere but Midgar, or other places under ShinRa's direct control. Our main goal is achieving peace on the planet." The fighter said with a casual shrug.

"That's cool." Cid said, nodding.

Vincent shrugged. "Fighting for peace… makes as much sense as shagging for abstinence."

Cid chuckled and Aeris laughed at the comment. Zack just shook his head. "I knew it. You're an ass."

"Sooo... what happens now?" Cid asked after a quiet moment.

Zack shrugged again, more nervously this time and turned to the spellcaster who was listening to the conversation again. Cloud looked back, his eyes begging for him not to say what he was going to say. Zack just couldn't understand why.

"I guess it would be better for you to leave Midgar, as soon as possible. Maybe you should come back to north with me, you'll be safe there."

Cloud was shaking his head before Zack finished talking. "No. I don't want to go back there."

"But... why not?"

"I just don't. Don't ask that of me again."

"... Fine. But you have to leave. You can go anywhere you want, just, for your own safety, and for theirs, too, don't stay in Midgar." Zack waved his hand, gesturing towards the others. "You could even go home. I don't think they'll start hunting you, not if you don't stay here."

"... Home?" Cloud frowned and shook his head, looking uncomfortable. "I don't think I want to go home."

"Like I said, fine. Go anywhere you want. Just one thing, though... if you haven't done so yet, I think you should call your mother, let her know you're all right. She's worried about you." Zack said. Cloud closed his eyes as Cid turned to him, looking almost angry.

"What the hell? You fucking asshole, phone her right now!"

"... You don't have a phone..." Cloud muttered, feeling the tears come up to his eyes, and his heart aching for the safety of home and the innocence of childhood. If he went back home now, feeling this confused and lost, he feared that all that would be destroyed.

"The shop has one, you can phone from there." Vincent said after a moment of Cid fuming in anger. The blond mechanic nodded, grabbed his cousin by the neck of his shirt and started to walk him out of the apartment, ignoring Cloud's protests. Zack had to grin as he, Aeris and Vincent followed the blondes.

* * *

"Midgar switchboard, how may I help you?"

Cloud glared at the others who took the hint and took a few steps back to give him some privacy. Vincent concentrated on glaring at the two customers in the shop as the other clerk disappeared for a cigarette.

"Mayor Lockhart of Nibelheim, please."

"Do you wish to make a collect call, sir?"

He glanced at Vincent briefly and shrugged. "No."

"Just a moment."

Zack and Aeris turned away when the spellcaster turned in their direction, pretending that they weren't listening, but Cid just stared at his cousin, hands crossed over his chest, determined not to let Cloud leave the shop until his mother knew he was fine.

"Mayor Lockhart speaking."

Cloud cleared his throat, feeling nervous even hearing the large man's voice. He'd always feared the mayor, ever since he was a child.

"Evening, sir. Could I please talk to Mrs Ame Strife?"

"Who's calling? I'm not going to go over to her house unless I can tell her what it's about."

"... Tell her it's about her son. Please."

"... Fine. Just a moment."

The receiver was left on the table, and through it Cloud could hear someone playing the piano. It calmed him down a bit, as Lockhart had managed to bring up all the reasons why he had grown to dislike the small town. The man's tone had made it clear that he was doing an enormous favour, walking twenty feet to the next house and asking for his closest neighbour to come over. Cloud was sure that none of the villagers had kept his mother company.

It took a few minutes, but then he could hear steps and the sound of moving air as the receiver was picked up again.

"Hello? This is Ame Strife..."

Hearing her voice he almost lost his courage as a lump appeared in his throat. Cloud closed his eyes and smiled slightly. "Mom? It's me, Cloud. I wanted to let you know that I'm alive and all right. Sorry I haven't come home yet..."

The line went completely silent for a few moments, and then he heard her sob. "C-cloud? Is it... is it really you? Honestly?"

"Yeah, mom, it's me. Honestly." Cloud whispered, smiling as tears flowed down his cheeks. Even Cid had the decency to turn away. "Would anyone else know that Wind and I had our own kingdom behind the couch, even though he said he was too old to play with me half the time..." his voice was quiet and soft. No one else needed to know his cherished childhood memories. "Or that it was Cid who broke the vase in the living room, and not the cat..."

She laughed softly, and Cloud could imagine her cradling the receiver, like she had done when the call had come that her husband and older son had died. "It was Cid? I'm going to have to spank him for it... where are you? Please, come home. I've been so worried..."

"I'm in Midgar, with Cid. I... can't come home, not just yet. In a while, I promise, but not just now. I have things... I need to take care of, first. I promise I'll come as soon as I can."

"... I understand. Take care of yourself, my little chocobo... I love you."

"... I love you too, mom. I have to go now. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, Cloud. My baby..."

Cloud hung up and stood very still for a while, forcing his tears and the lump in his throat down. With a sigh he wiped his eyes dry and turned to the others. They were all staring at him now, questioning looks on their faces. Cloud smiled, a lopsided grin, and waved a hand.

"She's fine. I promised to go home soon. Cid, you're in trouble."

"What!" Cid yelped, frowning."

"I had to tell her about the vase in the living room."

"Oh shit! You talk to her for two minutes, and find the time to betray me! Now your mom's gonna kill me, and Ma's gonna fry my ass too! Thanks!" Cid threw his hands open and looked at the ceiling in despair. Zack grinned and Aeris giggled while Vincent shook his head and turned to glare at a new customer.

Cloud walked to the fighter's side and smiled thinly at Cid, who was shaking his head. "Sorry. Can we go back now?"

"Yeah, sure..." the mechanic nodded and pulled out a cigarette. "Hey Vinnie, you coming or not?"

The goth shrugged. "I'll stay, my shift begins in an hour... I'll come by when I get off."

"Okay, take care. See ya!" Cid waved his hand and followed Zack and Aeris who were already at the door. Cloud nodded his thanks to Vincent and slipped out of the door after Cid. The blond stopped them there and lit his cigarette. "Are y'all coming back to my place?"

Zack looked at Cloud and shrugged. "Well I don't really have a place to stay here in Midgar..."

"You?" Cid asked the flower girl.

"If it's all right, I'd like to hear what's going on." She looked at Cloud as well, but the spellcaster didn't notice either of them as his blue eyes were on the ground.

"Fine." Cid spread his arms and turned towards home. "But don't expect me ta feed you..."

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**A.N:** The phrase I used for the Turks, 'Public relations enforcer' was nicked from Drew Hayes' comic Poison Elves. The first or second Sanctuary-issue. If you like loads of raw attitude, guns, swords, elves, dark humour, violence and some more attitude, I recommend it.

Happy Slash Appreciation day! XD


	6. Chapter 5: Talking

The chapter title pretty much sums up this chapter. Yadda yadda yadda. XD Consider yourself warned. Thank you very much for the reviews, it's nice to know someone is reading this :heart:

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**Chapter Five**

**Talking**

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They all sat down in the living-room, Aeris and Cloud on the couch, Cid on the armrest next to his cousin, and Zack on the chair which he lifted to the table's side. All except the spellcaster looked at each other curiously, waiting for someone to say something.

"Okay..." Cid said after a few minutes, clearing his throat to get everyone's attention. "Let's start with why the hell the Turks are after you, girl? Did you sell them bad flowers or something?"

They all turned to Aeris, even Cloud looked up when he realized he didn't know the reason either. The flower girl shook her head and straightened her dress, staring at her hands.

"No... they think that I am someone I am not. They believe I have some powers that could lead them to the Promised Land."

That made Cid laugh. "The Promised Land! What are those guys on? That's just a freakin' fairy tale, right?"

"No. It is real, but it's not a place that you can take people to. Everyone has to find it for themselves." Aeris explained, making the mechanic shake his head with disbelief.

"Whatever you say... so that's why they want to get you?"

"Yes. Tseng... I have known him for a long time. We're not friends, we both just grew in the slums. That's why... he's had dozens of chances to just kidnap me and take me to the President, but he hasn't. I think that he knows that if I end up in their hands, they won't let me go again. And even though he's a Turk, one of the best, he doesn't want that to happen to me. He's a good man, he's just... lost his way."

"Yeah, right..." Cid muttered and shook his head.

"I'm still free, aren't I?" Aeris said. No one could argue with that.

"Okay, that's one down..." Cid muttered and turned to Zack. The fighter shrugged.

"I already told you why I'm here. If Cloud will talk with me, I think we'd better talk in private." He looked at the blond who nodded slowly.

"... Yes. Until I remember... I'd feel more comfortable not talking in public. There's so much I'm not sure about..." the spellcaster said so quietly that Zack had to lean closer to hear him.

"Fine." Cid said and searched his pockets for a cigarette. "Oh hell... fag, anyone?"

Cloud choked and Zack chuckled. Aeris just shook her head.

"Damn. Okay Miss Buttercup, I'm gonna head to the shop for some ciggies, I can walk you home. At least some of the way." Cid got up and looked at his cousin. "You two can talk now, I'll pop in to keep Vin company, give you guys a few hours. Don't kill each other, blood's so hard to get out of the furniture..."

The fighter grinned and nodded, and Cloud even smiled a bit. Aeris gave him a little kiss on the cheek and wished them good night.

When the door closed, Zack got up and sat on the couch as well, close to the spellcaster but far enough to give him space. Moving slowly, like he was with a wild animal, the fighter started to strip off his weapons and the pieces of his armour. Cloud soon turned to look at him, and relaxed enough to lean his back against the couch.

"When I first met Sephiroth, he was getting ready to leave to Mythril Mines. Back then there were still miners working there, and the zoloms were breeding like rabbits. Anyway, there was a problem with smugglers and a band of thieves and cutthroats, and Seph was leaving to take care of it. There was this other guy who was supposed to go as well, but he broke his leg at the last minute. I was just being introduced to Seph when he got the message. He frowned, shrugged, looked at me up and down, asked if I could fight and when I said yes, told me not to unpack, I'd be going with him. I hadn't had time to settle in, I had arrived the evening before. But he was to mentor me, and thought that dragging me to battle would be as good a way to teach me as sitting around and talking."

Zack's voice was calm and slow in the beginning, but as he noticed from the corner of his eyes that Cloud was leaning towards him to hear better, he spoke a bit louder, but still quiet enough to keep the spellcaster concentrated.

"We sparred on the boat trip from Bone Village coast to Junon. Man, the sailors had to carry me out the ship, my muscles were so stiff. I had fought before, of course, I've had my share of monsters, but Seph... he really wasn't gonna make things easy for me. And all the while we sparred, he told me things. About fighting, war, diplomacy, peace, laws... anything under the sun. And when we went to bed, he'd ask questions to test what I'd learned. Wrong answer cost me twenty push-ups. I did a lot of push-ups, believe me. But soon I learned to listen and remember, and the more I learned, the more sense his words made, and the easier it became to suck it all in. But it still was one hell of a boat ride.

"From Junon to the mines we traveled by chocobo. Besides a few monsters the trip was pretty uneventful. Seph and I chatted about everything he'd told me, I asked about things that weren't too clear, he explained them to me... it was like a picnic, I think we both forgot for a while what waited us in the mines. That's when we became friends. We'd gotten to know each other pretty well on the boat, but he was still a cold bastard then. But on the chocobos, when we just talked and joked around, boom. Instant friends. He made me think and I made him laugh. It's like... I don't know... like we'd known each other for ever.

"The mines... okay, Seph is a pretty amazing fighter, and I'm not too bad either, but they should have sent more people. I won't go into the gory details, but it was hell, and the only good thing about it was that we came through it alive, and even closer than we had been."

It hit him again, then. Their friendship, how much they'd cared for each other, the jokes they'd shared, and the fact that it was all gone. Sephiroth was dead. He'd never get to talk with the silver-haired man again, couldn't turn to him for advice. There was no one to talk with about the things they'd seen, no one who'd understand immediately what he was talking about. He was the only one keeping those memories, that part of Sephiroth, alive. His mother held to her the part of him that she'd seen, the general's childhood and youth, how he'd grown and learned things. Cloud, without so much of his memories, seemed lost.

It brought tears to his eyes and tightened his throat so that it was hard to breathe, but Zack quickly dried his eyes and swallowed the lump that threatened to break down all his walls. Not now. Not when Cloud was here. Not when his tears would only remind the spellcaster that the fighter knew and remembered so much more than he did.

"Ahh, damn... sorry about that..." Zack muttered and tried to smile. He turned to look at Cloud and bit his lip when he saw the hunger in the blond's eyes. "... what?"

"Please. Tell me more. Anything..." Cloud whispered and scooted closer. "When you talk, it's like I can almost remember. Please, don't stop."

Zack cleared his throat and smiled, digging his memories for something that showed different sides of Sephiroth. "Gee, what should I tell you..."

Cloud moved closer still, until he was almost touching the fighter. Zack suspected it was completely unintentional, though, the spellcaster didn't seem like a hugger. The look in the blue eyes confirmed it, he just wanted to suck in all the knowledge Zack could think about Sephiroth.

"Okay, now I know... this happened a few months after the mines. Seph went on missions, to battles and stuff pretty often, he spent less and less time up north. I'd join him sometimes, when I didn't have to stay back for a boring diplomacy lecture from one of the masters. Anyway, this time we were sent to Costa del Sol with a few other guys, to take care of this Mako-based sea monster that was terrorising the tourists. ShinRa wasn't doing anything about it, they had sent a few of their Soldiers in, but they hadn't had any luck even finding the snake. So the masters thought that this would be a good publicity trick, send in a few pretty boys, take care of the monster that ShinRa couldn't handle, you know. So. We're thinking of a way to get this monster to come out of hiding when one of the guys realises we could set up a bait to lure it in. You're gonna love this..."

Zack babbled on for a good half an hour, laughing and gesturing with his hands, feeling some of the pain of the loss give up as he remembered the good times. Cloud had, at some point, pulled the blanket around himself and leaned his head on the fighter's shoulder, and started to nod off after Zack had told him all about sea weed, Sephiroth's hair and serpents, and started on a new story. The fighter kept on talking, even though he noticed that the blue eyes had closed some time ago. Still, he wasn't sure whether the spellcaster slept, and didn't want to disturb him. Only when Cloud's head started to slide down did he stop, and leaned to his right so that the blond didn't wake when his head fell to Zack's lap.

The fighter sighed and closed his eyes, leaning his head back so that it bumped against the wall. A smile lingered on his lips as he remembered the past, and it didn't hurt so much anymore to think about Sephiroth. He hoped that his words had helped Cloud as well.

He was falling asleep himself, almost half an hour later, when the beeping of his PHS woke him suddenly. Zack answered it quickly, relaxing when he recognized master Ranael's voice over the static line. The spellcaster hadn't woken up to the ringing, just continued to sleep with his head on the fighter's lap.

"Hello?"

""Zack! Can you hear me!""

"Yes, sir, you don't have to shout."

""Are you in Midgar yet? You haven't been answering your PHS in a while.""

"Yes, sir, sorry about that. I've found something."

""So have we. You know about the bag Josin and Sara found from the desert. We searched it thoroughly here, and found an undeveloped roll of film hidden in the bag's lining."" Zack frowned and pressed the small device closer to his ear so that he wouldn't miss one word.

""We had the film developed, and..."" the master sighed, making the line crackle so bad it almost deafened Zack. ""... well, it's theirs. Sephiroth's and Cloud's. The materia, the bag, the photos. There are private ones and some close-ups of ShinRa's troops and weapons. The usual. The last seven pictures seemed overexposed, but we took a more careful look at them, and found something interesting.""

Zack closed his eyes and fought back a grin, hoping that the 'private photos' hadn't been too private. He looked down at the golden spikes and fingered one carefully, not wanting to wake Cloud. Maybe if the blond saw the photos he'd be able to remember something.

""The last pictures show the place they were apparently held captive in.""

The fighter sat up, almost nudging Cloud off the couch, and forced his scream to come out as a hiss. "What! Captive?"

""Yes. It seems to be some sort of a laboratory. The pictures aren't good, but they show shadows of men in white coats, operation tables, cages... Strife is locked up in a metal cage in one of them. Like an animal. No wonder he chose to forget everything.""

"Wh... but..." Zack looked at Cloud's peaceful face and shook his head. "... shit. Sephiroth?"

""It seems that he was the one to take the pictures. He's not in any of them, and they seem to have been taken quickly, in secret. The roll was then hidden into a tear in the bag's lining. My guess is that Strife had it with him when he escaped, but lost it at some point. Have you found any lead on him?""

"Well, yes, sir. He's right here by my side. I found him."

""You did? Excellent. Both of you, come back right away. It's not safe there, and maybe we can now start to get to the bottom of this.""

"Ahh, there might be a problem with that... he doesn't want to come back."

""... What do you mean? Doesn't want to come back?""

"He hasn't said why, but he just doesn't want to come back, not right now, in any case. And I wouldn't feel right forcing him to come." He looked down again, wondering if Cloud was really asleep or just pretending. The spellcaster's breathing had changed.

""Well he can't stay there! Put him on, I'll talk with him.""

"Sorry, sir, he's asleep. But I can ask him to phone you when he wakes."

""Can't you wake him now? Ahh, never mind. Try to get him to change his mind. If you can't, at least get out of Midgar, and quick.""

"Yes sir. That's what we were planning to do. I'll let you know more when I know more."

""Fine. Good night, then.""

"Good night, sir." Zack closed the PHS and settled back more comfortably into the couch. Cloud yawned and turned, pushing himself up and away from the fighter's lap. Blue eyes opened slowly and turned to him.

"Sorry. Did I wake you?"

"... It's ok." Cloud sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "Didn't mean to fall asleep... you should have woken me earlier."

"Don't worry about it. Uhh, how much did you hear?" Zack asked, feeling nervous. They hadn't said anything that the spellcaster wasn't supposed to hear, but he still felt uncomfortable being caught talking about someone by that same someone.

"Not much. I woke when you said that he doesn't want to come back. Me, right?"

"Yeah. The master said it's ok, but that I should try to talk you into going back north."

"I don't want to go."

"You don't have to. But... some of your things were found in the desert. A bag, with some materia, and a roll of undeveloped film. It was developed up north, and there's some pics of you and Seph, of the war, and..." the fighter cleared his throat and hesitated.

"And what?" Cloud asked when the silence stretched. He turned to look at the fighter straight in the face. Zack avoided his eyes for a moment, but gathered his courage and turned to look straight into them. He was worried what kind of a reaction his words would cause.

"... And a few pictures of the place where you spent the three months in. At least that's what the master suspects."

Cloud turned away, to stare at the table in front of him. "... Oh..."

"Maybe seeing those would help you remember something..." Zack suggested carefully, fearing that he might scare the spellcaster into silence. The blond looked confused enough. "Of course you don't have to, if you don't want to. See them, I mean. Maybe later, if you don't feel like it now. It's all up to you. No one wants you to suffer any more than you already have."

Cloud let his eyes close and his chin dropped to his chest while he thought about it all. He wanted to see the photos, he hoped they would really help him remember, but on the other hand... what would he remember? The love, him, he wanted to remember. But all the scars on his body, not to mention the ones on his soul... could he carry on knowing how he'd received them? He covered his face with his hands and groaned. There really was no alternative. He couldn't go on like this, not knowing.

Zack was thinking a lot along the same lines, wondering how the knowledge of the lost months would affect the young man, and what could he do to help. Originally he'd done this for Sephiroth, decided to take care of Cloud for the other man, make sure he was fine, but after meeting the spellcaster things had gotten more personal than that. He had instantly taken a liking to the blond, even though he was, at the moment, distracted, depressed and antisocial. But he'd heard so much of him from Sephiroth, and saw such spirit in Cloud's eyes, behind the sorrow and confusion. Maybe the best way he could help was by being a friend.

"... I don't want to go back north. But I do want to see the photos. Could they send them here? Or somewhere else, if we have to leave Midgar?" Cloud said after a few moments. His voice was quiet but determined, his face still hidden behind his hands.

Zack nodded before realizing that the other man couldn't see the gesture. "I'm sure we can manage something. Someone can probably drop them off, so we can be sure that they don't get lost and end up in wrong hands." The fighter babbled, starting to feel tired suddenly. It had been a long day, emotionally hard. And when was the last time he'd sat on something this comfortable, when he'd last seen a bed or anything close to it? Nibelheim? He hadn't stayed in any town long enough to sleep in an inn after that, and the ship... Cid's small couch was a luxury.

Cloud was nodding to his words and yawning as well. Zack decided to try his luck, wrapped his arm around the younger man's shoulders and pulled him back to his side. The spellcaster stiffened instantly at the touch. "I think we both need rest. We'll talk more later." Zack said and felt Cloud relax. He guided the blond head back to his lap and leaned back, closing his eyes as the back of his head hit the wall. "Good night."

"... Thanks, Zack. Good night." Cloud muttered, pulled the blanket tight around his shoulders and closed his eyes, his head resting on the fighter's thigh. He thought that he couldn't fall asleep now, not with all the thoughts running around in his mind, but they were both sleeping within minutes.

**-x-x-x-**

"Sir. The... reinforcement has arrived."

Sephiroth looked curiously up from the map, intrigued by the soldier's slightly amused tone. He lifted an eyebrow but got no explanation.

"Fine, send them in."

"Him, sir. There's only one."

Now the general's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. He'd contacted the Peacemakers a while ago, asking for help, and they'd promised to send someone. He'd of course expected that they send at least two or three warriors and a spellcaster or two. And all he got was one man!

He even scratched that when he saw the reinforcement. Not even a man. A boy. Barely five and a half foot tall, too thin for his own good, long, blond hair on a thick braid in the neck. His Wutainese uniform was too large, it hung from his shoulders, and the armour seemed to weigh as much as the boy himself. A huge sword was strapped to his back, and materia was attached to his wristbands, armlets and even to the leather strap that kept his hair in check. But still. This was a boy. A little boy sent out to play war. What were the masters thinking!

"You... are from the Peacemakers?" He had to check. Maybe this was a servant to the real reinforcement or something, or a messenger. His hopes dropped when the boy nodded.

"Yes, sir. Spellcaster Strife, at your service. I also have a degree in both sword and hand to hand. The masters sent you this." The boy pulled out a rolled up paper from the folds of his clothes and gave it to Sephiroth, who took it and opened it immediately, needing an explanation but not wanting to scare the lad by demanding one from him.

The letter confirmed that the boy was telling the truth. The masters assured that he would be of great help to the Wutaians. Strife even spoke the language. They praised the boy almost too much before informing him that Strife was all they could send right now, due to other conflicts and such. Sephiroth didn't even bother to read the whole letter.

"So. Strife. Do you have any previous experience of battles?"

"Of course, sir. I was, until last week, fighting with the rebels up in Icicle Inn. Sir."

"How about war?"

The boy shifted uncomfortably, pursed his lips and eventually shook his head. "No, sir. No first hand experience, sir."

"Why did they send just you? Is the situation up north that bad?"

"I'm afraid so, sir. The rebels at Icicle have had a hard year, sir, and most of the fighters are tied up there. Then there's the fight in Fort Condor, sir, ShinRa are adamant to break through their lines. But I am sure that I can help. And they'll send more folk as soon as they're able. Sir."

Sephiroth nodded, waving the boy quiet. He wanted the spellcaster to understand how grave the situation was, but didn't want to end up scaring him so badly that the boy would freeze in the first battle. "I think this'll be even a bit worse than the battles at Icicle. You must remember to always be ready for anything, and not get too comfortable. The tide of this war has turned a dozen times during the year that I've been here, and it is likely to shift some more until we're done. One false step may cost you your own life, and the lives of those who depend on you. You understand?"

The blond frowned, clearly annoyed at being lectured at like this, but nodded still. "Yes sir. With all due respect, sir, I know of war and battles. I'm not as hopeless as you all seem to think."

Sephiroth smiled and rubbed his eyes with a gloved hand. "It is nothing personal, we were all just expecting at least two or three experien- uh, warriors."

A blond brow came up, amusing the general. "Sir. I may be short, and small, but I am neither weak nor stupid. The masters would have not sent me here unless they had some trust in my abilities, don't you think? Sir."

"True, true. I'm sorry. So, do we call you Strife?" Sephiroth had to cover his mouth until he got his smile under control. War or no war, this could get interesting.

"Yes, sir. Or Cloud."

"Cloud?"

"Yes, sir. It's my name. Cloud Strife."

"Well. Welcome to the war, Cloud Strife."

"Thank you, sir."

**-x-x-x-**

"I still remember the first time he mentioned you to me, in a letter. He was actually pissed, not at you, though, but at the masters, that they sent someone so young to the front. Mostly he was intrigued by you, and even a bit smitten. He always had an eye for beauty, both male and female, you know. He wondered what had made you so serious, and why a kid, his words, not mine, wanted so bad to play at war. And what the reality would do to you. Later on, he mostly praised you, about how cool-headed you were in battles and stuff like that... he even admitted, around the third or fourth letter, that he really wouldn't mind getting to know you better. That's when I knew that you were something special, that something would come out of this, that he was falling for you. I even made a bet with a guy who knows both Seph and me. A bet which I won, easily."

Zack smiled over the small kitchen table, and grinned widely when Cloud smiled a little and even blushed.

It was still early in the morning, they had woken up when Cid and Vincent had returned to the apartment. The mechanic had spent the whole night at the shop, keeping the goth company and giving the two men time to talk. Or so they'd thought, Zack and Cloud had both slept through the whole night, not even moving in their sleep until the door had opened. Now they were sitting in the kitchen, talking again, while Cid and Vincent slept in the bedroom.

"How much did he tell you? He didn't claim that he just swept me off my feet?" Cloud muttered, still smiling, even though his eyes were troubled as he stared at the table.

"Well, he didn't write so much about that, said that he'd tell me the whole story some day. That it was still too personal and wonderful to be shared. But I got the impression that it was mutual, and that you kinda grew into it. Both of you. I know I said that he had an eye for beauty, but he really didn't date much, and wasn't interested in romances and that gooey love stuff. You'll have to tell me all about it one day." The fighter said, his grin widening when he thought of the light-headed letters he'd received from his stoic mentor back when he'd just fallen in love.

"Yeah, one day..." Cloud whispered but didn't stop to dwell on it. "Do you still have the letters? Would it be all right if I read some of them? Not if you don't want me to, but..."

"Of course you can read them, there are no secrets in them. Sheesh, wonder where they are... probably up north, I left most of my stuff there before I left again to look for the two of you. If someone brings the photos to you, I can ask them to bring the letters as well. And some of my other stuff... yeah, that's what we'll do. Any idea where you want to go from here?" Zack leaned on the table, closer to the spellcaster, and gave him one of his smiles.

Cloud shook his head. "I haven't really thought about it. I don't mind, I guess, as long as it's not the north, or home, not just now."

/"_I'd like to see the Gold Saucer, even though it's ShinRa's..._"/

The words flashed through his mind, causing the spellcaster to wince. Zack noticed it and frowned, reaching over the table to touch Cloud's arm.

"Cloud? Something wrong?"

"Nhh, yeah... no. I don't know. I thought I remembered something. Words. But I... I don't want to go there, not now."

"Go where?" Zack asked as Cloud rubbed his eyes and sighed.

"Gold Saucer. I said... at one point... that I want to go there. But I don't. Not now."

The fighter blinked a few times, confused, but figured that the spellcaster was talking more with his past than him. "Okay. Would you like to go back to Wutai? Seph said you loved the place. I'm sure lady Meriko would like to see you again."

Cloud looked up and frowned, lowering his hands to the table. "Who?"

"Seph's mom. She actually said that she'd like to see you again, when you're feeling up to it. I was staying with her and the family when you were found in the desert... what's wrong?"

Cloud's expression had darkened with every word, and now he seemed to be almost fuming. Zack leaned back in his chair, wondering what he'd said.

"Masters want me to go back. Mom wants me home. She wants me in Wutai. Where do you want me? And who shall I obey? Or do I let you all just toss me around the world, from one place to another? Fine as long as it isn't Midgar, you all say. What if I like it here? I have a place to stay, friends who don't ask too many questions... why don't you all just fuck off and stuff your questions and demands where the sun don't shine and leave me the fuck alone!"

Zack was speechless and, quite frankly, shocked. Cloud's voice had gotten louder with every word until he was shouting. The spellcaster had stood up at some point and leaned over the table, hovering over the fighter like a storm cloud, pouring thunder and lighting over him.

"Whoa, whoa..." Zack lifted his hands in an attempt to calm the blond down. The blue eyes flashed and Cloud turned away from him, walking angrily to the small window. "Okay. First of all, you don't have to go anywhere you don't want to go. Second, the only reason we don't wish that you stay in Midgar is because it isn't safe. Third... sure, it might be easy for you here, no one asking bothering questions... but eventually, the answers to those questions, and the lack of them, will eat you alive. None of us wants to see that happen to you. We only want to help. But we can only suggest. In this matter, you are the one who decides. Screw everyone else. You call the shots."

Cloud's shoulders had sagged and he'd turned from the window to stare at the sink. After Zack stopped his quiet talk, he could hear the spellcaster breathing heavily, maybe trying to calm down or trying not to cry. Being angry or crying... both might actually help to release some of the tension in the smaller man.

He hadn't expected to hear Cloud laugh.

"... Such fancy words... what's behind them? And don't try to tell me that you're just 'concerned', that you're doing this out of the goodness of your heart, or for Seph. What do you want, Zackery Lindeman? What's in it for you?" Cloud turned around and pushed himself away from the sink, closer to the table. "A promotion? 'Bring the loon back and we'll make you a master'? Or do you just want to fuck me? Well come on then, fuck me." Now he was standing next to the table and pushed his hips forward. Zack pulled away, shocked at the words and the anger, the hate and self-loathing in Cloud's voice.

The spellcaster reached out with a hand and pushed Zack's shoulder roughly, almost throwing the fighter off balance. The dark-haired man swallowed and shook his head, wondering if the blond was testing his limits or if he was really going crazy, or if this was just a twisted way to vent frustration.

Cloud pushed him again, harder, and Zack caught his wrist, holding the whole arm still. The blond sneered and snorted, and tried to pull his hand away, clearly expecting Zack to let go. But he didn't.

"Let me go."

"And let you wallow in self pity and hatred for the rest of your life? Yeah, right. Even if I didn't know you, or Seph, I wouldn't let you do that. It's a crime against life, you know."

"Fuck you." Cloud snarled and tried to free his hand, but Zack was stronger. He grabbed the spellcaster's waist with the other hand, and with a quick flick of the wrist, twirled the blond around and sat him down on his lap. Cloud's captured hand was now like a seatbelt which kept him safely in Zack's arms.

"Okay, I do understand that you're hurting now and all that, you just lost your love. But if you don't find some way to deal with it, you're going to end up hurting not only yourself but the people who care about you. And believe me, there are those of us who do."

"You god-damned asshole, let me go now!" Cloud just about screamed, kicking with his legs. The fighter just grabbed his other hand as well.

"No. And do you know why? Because I AM doing this from the goodness of my heart, and for Seph, but most importantly, for you. And I'm going to sit here and not let you go until you co-operate and talk to me. Nice and civilized, like."

"Die!"

"Not until I know that you'll be ok. This is a start. Now tell uncle Zack what hurts the most."

"My arm you asshole! Let me go! This is stupid!" Cloud groaned. But he wasn't fighting so hard anymore, and his rough voice was growing softer. Zack held him, pressed his head to the spellcaster's back and wondered what had triggered this strange fit in the younger man.

"Cloud..."

"I can't... I can't remember no matter how hard I try. How can I go on? What right do I have to live when he's..." the blond whispered but stopped when the lump in his throat suffocated rest of the words.

"Shh... let it all out..." Zack muttered and closed his eyes, hoping there was something he could do, something more than just hold the man and promise it would be all right, when he wasn't sure if it would.

Cloud struggled a bit in his arms but stopped soon, and the fighter could feel tears falling on his bare arms.

"I want to remember so much... I try every day, but it's all locked away. And I wonder if I did it myself or if someone just erased it from my mind... the months and most of him... and I just... don't... know... please... help me..." the blond whispered, his words broken by sobs and tears. Zack just held him, not roughly anymore, just hugged the spellcaster, giving him strength and protection.

"It will come to you. Things like that, they can't stay hidden forever. One day it'll all come back. He's not gone for ever. You will remember, and then he'll live again in your heart. Until that day, I'll keep him alive, and remind you as best I can... okay?"

"... Yeah.." Cloud nodded after a moment, leaned against the fighter, and continued to cry.

Cid and Vincent watched them from the kitchen door but stepped noiselessly away when they saw that whatever had made Cloud shout so that even they woke to it had passed.

The blond shook his head. "... That was some heavy shit, man..." he muttered and lifted a hand to the goth's waist. Vincent nodded and stepped closer to the other man as they returned to the bedroom.

**-x-x-x-**

"Strife?" Sephiroth called quietly, smiling lightly when he saw the boy's silhouette against the light of the waxing moon. The blond had cut his hair earlier today, not all of the long braid, but everything from his brow to the top of his head. He had complained that the helmet was too hot with all that hair, and someone had suggested he'd cut it. The general had been almost shocked when he'd seen the boy next, and Cloud himself seemed a bit disturbed with his new appearance.

Cloud turned around, surprised out of his thoughts. He quickly put his helmet back on, to cover the barely visible stubble and the long braid at the back of his head, making him seem like an old man. Sephiroth smiled and waved for the boy to remain seated, and sat down next to him.

They sat in silence for a moment, Cloud watched the sky and Sephiroth thought about what had made him search for the spellcaster's company in the first place.

"Beautiful evening, isn't it?" He eventually said, and the blond nodded after a moment. "Wutai... to me, it's the most beautiful place I know. It's my home, you know."

"No, sir, I didn't know that." Cloud said, even though it hadn't been a question.

Sephiroth shook his head gently. "You don't have to call me sir. You're not one of the soldiers, you're a Peacemaker. Rank isn't so important amongst us."

The blond looked down at his hands now. "But you're still my commanding officer. I'd feel better calling you sir, sir."

"Whatever you wish." Sephiroth amended, and they sat in silence for a while until the general opened his mouth again. This was intriguing, he never had been a blabbermouth, but now he wanted to talk. He wanted to get to know this mystery of a spellcaster.

"So. Two months here already. I have to admit that I had my doubts the first time we met, but I was glad to be proven wrong. You certainly are worth the trust the masters have in you."

Sephiroth was ready to swear that Cloud blushed a bit, even though it was next to impossible to see it in the darkness. "Thank you, sir. It's good to hear that."

"What do you think of this all? Wutai, the troops, the war?" He asked and moved an inch closer to the younger man. The blond shrugged and thought for a moment before answering.

"Well, I do think that this war is purposeless. Meaning that ShinRa had no proper reason to attack Wutai, only pride and greed. But all the wars against them have been fought, more or less, for the same reason. You'd think they'd learned something by now?

"As for Wutai... it is beautiful, although I do miss the mountains back home. It's a bit similar. The troops..."

"Where are you from? I don't think it ever came up." Sephiroth interrupted him, eyes fixed on the blond's lips, watching their every soft curve and movement.

"... If it matters any... I was born in Nibelheim, but I consider that I came from the north, and the Peacemakers. Nibelheim was home, but the Peacemakers made me who I am." Cloud said after a long silence, his words slow and carefully thought.

"You don't think your home, your family and friends had any kind of part in making you who you are?" The general asked, further intrigued by the chill in the blond's voice when he answered.

"Friends I had none, and barely any family. Sir. They just made me determined to make something out of myself. The Peacemakers gave me a productive way to make it happen."

"You were an outcast?"

"... I'd rather not talk about it." Cloud said strictly, and almost forgot to call Sephiroth sir. The general shrugged and turned his green eyes to the sky.

"As you wish. Then tell me, Cloud, what do you like to talk about?"

Blue eyes turned to him but he didn't answer the surprised look. Cloud blinked a few times and shrugged, turning to stare at the sky as well. "I don't know."

Sephiroth chuckled quietly, careful not to let the blond hear. "It's hard to imagine you haven't ever talked with anyone. That you have no friends. I'm just curious..." he suggested when Cloud gave him an odd look. "I've realized I know next to nothing about you."

"Would you... like to know? ... sir?" The spellcaster said after a moment, his voice barely audible and very, very emotionless. Not in a cold way, to the general it sounded more like he was afraid to let anyone close, to let anyone know about him.

"Yes. What made you decide you wanted to be a Peacemaker?"

"... I do have a few friends. My cousin from Rocket Town, and my roommate Josin. He's from Mideel. I'm not... very social." Cloud finally said, staring at the stars. "I prefer being on my own. Always have. My brother was so much older than I am, and even though the bullies pretty much left me alone after he threatened them, no one still wanted to play with me.

"He also had the gift for spells. He and dad were both soldiers, and died in a war when I was still a child. So mom was left with just me, and after the teacher couldn't teach me anything more about spells and such mom finally gave in and let me leave home for a better school. She knew I wanted to be a soldier as well, but she was against it. Until we heard of the Peacemakers, when a recruiter stopped in Nibelheim on his way to Cosmo Canyon. I talked with him and he talked with mom and two weeks later I was on a ship to the north continent. And that's pretty much it."

Sephiroth had inched even closer to Cloud, barely noticing it himself. The blond seemed to be in a world of his own, although his words had been carefully considered not to tell anything else besides the very basics of his history. The general would have laughed if it weren't so sad, the way the boy had build these walls around himself, hidden behind them and how he guarded every little crack in them. Kept his soul and thoughts such a secret, hidden away where no one could reach them.

'Well, at least his body is within reach...' Sephiroth thought before he realized what he had thought or what he was doing. His mind only caught up with his body when his lips were already on Cloud's, one hand holding the blond's neck while the other kept them both up. Green eyes snapped open to stare straight into a pair of very large blue ones. The spellcaster wasn't really breathing, or moving, just sat there, their lips still together, while the general tried to catch up with reality, not moving much either. As if they had been frozen together.

Sephiroth finally realized what he was doing and quickly pushed away, ending up on his knees in front of Cloud, the blond's feet between his knees. He felt a blush creeping all the way up to his hairline and opened his mouth, hoping that an explanation would miraculously appear out of it.

Cloud still stared at him but started to breathe again, and blinked. Slowly, his face free of all emotions, the spellcaster stood up, wished the open-mouthed general a good night and walked to the barracks.

When the last light in the barracks went out about a minute later, Sephiroth finally closed his mouth, cursing in his mind. Where the hell had that come from? Why! With a groan he let himself fall flat on his stomach to the cold rock and lay there, hoping that the earth would open up and swallow him.

If he was lucky, really, really lucky, Cloud would never mention this again and would still stay and fight.

**-x-x-x-**

Cid and Vincent woke up again a few hours later, and when they dared to leave the bedroom they found both Cloud and Zack sitting on the couch, staring at the television. Sunday morning cartoons were more mellow than Saturday morning ones, for some reason. The fighter lifted a hand to greet the two, throwing them a quick smile.

"Good morning!"

"Yeah, whatever..." Vincent muttered and locked himself in the bathroom. Cid yawned and sat down next to his cousin. Cloud had pulled his legs up on the couch and against his chest, leaning his chin on the knees. On his other side, Zack was sprawled more comfortably.

"So... did you two get any talkin' done?" Cid asked, remembering how they'd woken up to Cloud screaming.

"Some." Zack said with a shrug.

"Don't try to act like you didn't hear that..." Cloud muttered, staring straight ahead.

Cid cleared his throat. "Well, you were screamin' pretty loud. We didn't hear much, tho. Everything ok?"

"No..." Cloud answered and Cid was relieved when Vincent came out. The goth took his turn sitting on the couch, but he was content to just sit and watch TV.

Cid returned a few minutes later and sat on the armrest, leaning on Vincent's shoulder. Only the TV broke the uncomfortable silence until the mechanic finally cleared his throat.

"So. What are we gonna do about the Turks? I mean, if they come a'knockin'?"

Zack looked over at Cloud, but when the blond didn't acknowledge him in any way, the fighter turned to the other two. "Hopefully they won't. But if they do, one option is to fight. Have you two received any training?"

"Uhh, well I did some martial arts as a kid..." Cid said, scratching his head.

"I can use a gun. There are two at the shop." Vincent said and glanced at Zack who grinned, remembering the first time they'd met.

Zack thought for a while, looking around the small living room. "Well. Maybe they won't try to attack inside an apartment building. I'm sure that they'd want Cloud alive. The rest of us... we talked about leaving earlier, so if we're gone, the Turks will let you be."

"Or not..." Cid muttered and started a cigarette. "Where will you go?"

"Even if we knew, it would be better if you didn't. Just in case they don't leave you be." The fighter answered, grinning a bit.

"What about Miss Buttercup? If the Turks want her as well, and they don't catch you, they might forget being nice and capture her." The mechanic reasoned. Cloud buried his face into his knees, sighing.

"I thought of that as well. Maybe we should take her with us." Zack ignored the spellcaster's quiet mutterings which he couldn't hear anyway and leaned forward. "As long as she stays here in Midgar, they'll be bothering her."

"Sure, you'll save her but leave our sorry asses cooking over the fire..." Cid's mock-hurt words made Zack laugh out loud, and even Vincent grinned.

"Well, you're of course welcome to join us. There's safety in numbers, although I think that it might be wiser to travel in small groups, easier to hide." The fighter said, grinning wildly. Cid waved his hand.

"I think we'll stay here, at least for a while. Maybe if things get too hot here we'll take off. Well, I mean, the Turks don't probably even know of Vinnie's part in all this, he's safe. An' I'm only in trouble if they find out we're related, or if they find this place. You two just take care of your own asses, and Miss Buttercup's."

"Sounds good to me..." Zack said and turned to Cloud, his smile becoming a bit unsure. "So now all we need to decide is where to go, and then leg it. So... Cloud, where do you want to go?"

The blond kept his face hidden for a moment longer but lifted his head just before the fighter could ask again. "I don't care. You decide."

Zack blinked a few times and sighed. "All right, how about the Junon underwater plant?"

"Whatever..." Cloud answered, not noticing that the other man was obviously joking.

"Hey guys, not in front of us, remember?" Cid said, chuckling. "You don't want us to accidentally tell the Turks when they're shovin' white hot pokers up our-"

"THANK you, Cid." Vincent said, proving that he was listening. "No one wants to hear the end of that one."

Cloud rose so suddenly that the others started. Cid almost dropped his cigarette.

"Look, you decide where we'll go. I'm going out for a while." The blond said, barely glancing at Zack. He leaned over the table to pick up his discarded, long-sleeved shirt and turned to leave while pulling it on. The fighter half stood from the couch.

"Out? Wait, I'll come with you."

"No. I'll go alone."

"But it's not safe-"

"I'll go alone." Cloud's tone left no room for objections, and Zack sat back down. With a sigh, the spellcaster turned back to the three, but looked at no one. "... I'll go see if Aeris is ok, and then come back. I'll be all right, I have some materia and weapons."

"Well, if you're sure..." Zack said, forcing a small smile on his face. Cloud just nodded and waved a hand as goodbye. The door soon closed behind him.

"... That went well..." Zack muttered and sunk into the couch. Cid snorted.

"No shit, Sherlock."

* * *

Midday came and went, but Cloud didn't return. When he wasn't back by two, Zack and Cid started to worry. When he wasn't back by three, even Vincent got slightly nervous, not that it showed. At four Zack and Cid were wondering if they should go out and look for the spellcaster. And when Aeris came looking for Cloud at twenty to five, they were sure the Turks had caught the blond.

"He said he was coming to see you!" Cid's voice rose with building panic. He was chain-smoking now, and the small, open window did little to free the apartment of all the smoke.

"He did, but that was before noon. He dropped in at my house, just came to check if mother and I were alright. He said that we should get ready to leave with you...?" she turned her green eyes to Zack, and even though he was worried half out of his mind, the fighter couldn't help but notice again how her eyes reminded him of Sephiroth.

"Yeah, we thought it might be safer for you to leave with us. The Turks might turn nasty if we manage to slip out of their grasp. Did Cloud say he was going somewhere?"

"No, only that he wanted to walk and think for a while. You don't think the Turks caught up with him?"

"I hope not. But he should have been back by now."

"That's it, I'm going lookin' for 'im." Cid growled, snuffed out his cigarette and stood. Vincent followed suit.

"If we're going to go look for him, we should do this properly. Someone has to stay here in case he comes back." Zack said but was mostly ignored while Aeris declared she'd go to the church first and search for Cloud or any clues at their usual haunts and Cid and Vincent made their own plans.

"Hey!" The fighter shouted when all three started to take off. "Didn't you hear what I said? Someone has to stay here in case he comes back!"

"Looks to me you just volunteered, buddy!" Cid said. When the fighter started to object, the mechanic actually made a plausible point. "Look, we all know the slums like the backs of our hands. You're new here, you'd get lost straight away. So you sit tight here, little fighter, an' we'll take care of the searching."

"But... how'll I contact you if he comes back?" Zack started to argue when he saw the reason in Cid's words.

"Dunno. But you'll think of something, you seem like a smart enough guy... an' anyway, we'll meet back here in say, two hours. Ta ta for now!"

With that, Zack was left alone and frustrated in an unfamiliar apartment, with nothing to do.

* * *

Almost two hours later Vincent returned with nothing. Zack had kept the TV on, and on Midgar's own channel where even the smallest news of the metropolitan were passed on almost as they happened. But there had been nothing there, either.

"Cid headed off to the top of the Plate," Vincent explained, "he's worked there a few times, he knows some people who know certain people who know what's going on."

"That's a lot of people to find in a hurry..." Zack muttered. His mood had gone from frantic to desperate to depressed, and was now moving towards frantic again. This wasn't happening. He hadn't come this far, hadn't found the spellcaster only to lose him straight away. "Where's Aeris?"

"I saw her a while ago, she said she was gonna go to the church one more time and then come here. She should be here soon." Cid and Cloud would probably have been amazed with the goth's talkativeness, but as it was, neither was there and Zack was too distracted to notice.

"Let's hope she finds something." Zack muttered.

"Let's hope she finds him." Vincent commented, and the fighter had to nod.

Aeris returned less than ten minutes later, in tears and out of breath.

"Did you find something? What's wrong?" Zack demanded before she had even closed the door behind her. Aeris nodded and swallowed hard, showing what she was clutching in her right hand.

Zack swore and Vincent shook his head when they saw Cloud's long braid, tied from both ends to keep it braided, cut cleanly from near his neck, judging by its length.

"I... I found it at the church, half buried in the flowerbed."

"So he's been there just now, if it wasn't there earlier..." Zack calculated. Aeris shook her head.

"I didn't see it the first time I went there, but I didn't look at the flowers then. I only checked the pews and the backroom, and the roof. I only noticed it now because I stopped to check the flowers quickly. It might have been there since noon."

Zack swore again and waved away Aeris' apology. "So we can assume that the Turks have him."

"But why would they cut off his hair?" Vincent asked, staring at the braid with some sort of morbid fascination.

"A trophy or something..." Zack muttered.

"Why leave it at the church then?"

"... I don't know. To get us too."

"Why not wait at the church, then?"

"I don't fucking know!"

"I'm just trying to reason with this." Vincent shrugged and went to sit on the couch. Aeris followed him, shaking a bit. Zack shook his head and took a moment to control his rage, then joined them in the living room.

"All right. We wait for Cid and what news he has, then... then do what we have to do." The fighter started to plan to calm himself down. Aeris nodded to his words and the goth shrugged while watching the latest newsflash that dealt with some rich bastard making a fool of himself at another rich bastard's party.

"Aeris, maybe you should go home, this might get ugly."

"Oh no, I'm staying and doing what I can!" The flower girl frowned and stood up almost before Zack could finish. The fighter shook his head and started to object, but she cut him off. "He's my friend as well, and it's my fault the Turks found out who he is! I'll do what I can to help! Don't you even try to stop me!"

"All right, calm down." Zack had no other choice but to agree.

They had to wait and worry a good twenty minutes before Cid got back. He was immediately showered with questions, but the mechanic just shook his head until he got to the living room.

"SHUT UP!" Cid ended up bellowing to silence Zack and Aeris. Vincent just looked up from the television set. The two fell quiet, but Aeris still tugged at his sleeve until Cid spoke again. "That's better. Now. The good news is, no one's heard a peep of the Turks takin' anyone in today. Apparently they've been in meetings with the Prez and watching his back at some stupid, high class party.

"The bad news is, I still have no idea where that nutty chocobo is. You guys?"

"Nothing." Vincent commented.

"I found this..." Aeris said and gestured at the braid, now resting on the cluttered table in the living room. Cid paled and swore quite colourfully at seeing it.

"I don't get it, though..." Zack muttered, staring at the braid as well. "If he's not in the Turk's custody, who cut it? Who left it at the church?"

"Who gives a shit! All I wanna know is where's my flippin' cousin!" Cid shouted, almost tearing at his own hair.

"What do we do now?" Aeris asked no one specifically. Cid shook his head and swore some more, turning his back to the room.

"Hate to say this, but if I'm not at work in fifteen minutes, I'll lose my job..." Vincent said quietly. Cid turned around, looking furious, but his gaze soon softened.

"Yeah. You go to work. But keep an eye out for him, ok?"

"Of course." Vincent said and stood up. He seemed almost boneless as he moved around the table and to the slightly shorter blond. He leaned down to press his forehead to Cid's. "Don't worry Snuggles, if the Turks don't have him, he'll be back..."

Zack almost choked when he heard the quiet words and the odd nickname, and he had to fight down laughter. The goth was right, he hoped. If Cloud hadn't been captured by the Turks, he was probably still wandering somewhere.

"Yeah, and when he gets back there'll be hell to pay." Cid was half grinning now, as well.

"Morning, then." Vincent said as a goodbye, glancing quickly at Aeris and Zack from underneath long, black strands of hair.

"Yeah. Have fun." Cid waved him goodbye and turned to the others when the door closed. The mechanic frowned when he saw Zack's grin. "What?"

"'Snuggles'?" The fighter said, grinning like mad now. Cid blushed and tried to regain his dignity by straightening his back and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Yeah? Wanna make something of it?"

"No no, I wouldn't dream of arguing with anyone called Snuggles..." Zack was laughing now, and Aeris smiled as well. Cid blushed some more.

"Shut up!" The mechanic barked and went to the bedroom. He soon returned with a dark green sweater littered with marks of a moth infestation. Pulling it on he declared that he was going to go and have another look around the neighbourhood.

"I'll come, too. I'll go to the church and go tell mom what's going on, so she won't worry about me..." Aeris said and got up.

"See you back here at nine?" Cid asked and the girl nodded. Zack sighed and ran a hand through his thick mane of hair.

"Let me guess, I'll stay here in case Cloud comes back..."

"You got it, honeypumpkin!" Cid said even though the look on his face was far from humorous.

"All right then, Snuggles. Good hunting, you two."

"See you at nine, Zack. Let's hope you'll see Cloud here rather than..." Aeris left her sentence unfinished, not wanting to put to words all the horrible images that had undoubtedly flashed through everyone's mind by now.

Midgar was a dangerous city, where one false step could cost a life. And even if Cloud was skilled enough to fight off most attackers, there was still the chance that the blond might do something to injure himself.

.

* * *

**A.N:** A cliffhanger! Of sorts… sorry! 8D

Answers to reviews:

Sorceress Fantasia: As soon as I find out myself what exactly happened in the desert, I'll spill it! For now, I'm not quite sure yet XD It's gonna take a bit more until Cloud finds out. Thank you for the comment!

Jenniyah: Well, there's basically just the two 'clans' in the Peacemakers, the fighters and the spellcasters. But there are also people like Zack, who specialize in negotiations and diplomacy, and who can be of either clan, like Zack: a fighter and a diplomat. ShinRa has all the Soldiers and normal troops as in the game. I'm a bad writer, I really haven't thought about it too carefully… 8D


	7. Chapter 6: Running

I own nothing! Nothing! Must I be reminded of it every time?

Thank you for the reviews! This chapter's a bit more action-filled than the last.

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* * *

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**Chapter Six**

**Running**

**.  
**

Zack was half climbing walls with anxiety by the time Aeris and Cid returned. They'd come up with nothing. Cid had even stopped by Vincent's shop, where the goth had had no news of the missing spellcaster.

The three took enough of a break from searching to think of all the possibilities that could have happened to Cloud. But no one had really come up with the truth.

It was almost quarter to ten, and Aeris and Cid were getting ready to leave again, when there was a quiet noise at the door. All three froze, and Zack immediately reached out for his sword. The noise came again, and they recognized it. Someone was trying to shove a key into the keyhole of the front door.

"The Turks?" Aeris whispered while Cid pulled out a gun. At their amazed looks, the mechanic explained: "Vinnie gave it to me, as a bodyguard, ya know?"

A key rattled in the lock. "Either it's a very lousy or a very drunk Turk... could it be a neighbour?" Zack muttered, getting up, sword in hand.

"Don't think so, they're louder." Cid answered and stopped, halfway getting up from the chair. His mouth dropped open. "You don't suppose..."

The door opened and soon closed, not too quietly. Cid, gun ready, peeked into the small hall and swore.

"Cloud, you fucking moron! Where the fuck have you been!"

Aeris and Zack breathed a sigh of relief as one. Cid swore and dropped the gun on the chair, his eyes firmly on his cousin. "I oughta..."

Whatever Cid wanted to do, he was cut off by a loud crash from the door, as Cloud toppled over, taking a small table and everything on it with him. The mechanic yelped with surprise and rushed to the dark hall, swearing at the dead light bulb.

"Shit! Are you ok? Are you hurt?"

Zack and Aeris followed Cid, dread creeping upon them again. The blond mechanic was crouching over his cousin and tugging him up. He didn't seem too worried anymore, though, as he swore and chuckled mostly to himself. The other two couldn't see much of what was going on in the small, dark space, but they could smell the strong scent of alcohol when they got a bit closer.

Aeris and Zack looked at each other. Her eye was twitching slightly when she spoke, her voice on the brink of breaking, although Zack couldn't say whether it was from anger or relief. "All this time we've looked for him, hearts in our throats... he's been... **drinking**?"

"Uh, smells like it..." the fighter commented, a silly grin creeping on his face.

"There'll be hell to pay, oh yeah..." Cid muttered once he had Cloud back on his feet, a strong arm around his waist. The spellcaster had a hand over his eyes, the other one around Cid's shoulders, and his feet seemed to want to go in different directions when the mechanic started to walk him towards the living room. "I'm gonna whup your skinny ass, then laugh when you struggle with the killer hangover ye're gonna have tomorrow, and then whup your ass again, oh yeah..."

"Chid... shuddup..." Cloud muttered and lost his footing, throwing his hand from his eyes to Cid's shoulder so that he was hanging around the mechanic's throat. Cid swore with surprise as the sudden movement threw him off-balance, and both blonds crashed to the floor. Zack winced but laughed with relief. Aeris shook her head and went to help them.

"Seriously, Cloud, what were you thinking? We were all worried sick! We didn't know where you were at all! We searched all of Midgar for you!"

"Shud uph, ye'rre nod myh mudder..." Cloud managed to utter while both Cid and Aeris worked to get him back up.

"Good for you, if Auntie saw you like this, she'd whup your ass, too..." Cid muttered and nodded his head to signal to Aeris that they'd toss the drunk on the couch. Cloud moaned when he hit the cushions face first. Zack had to fight back his laughter when the spellcaster fought valiantly against the pillows and blanket to get to a more comfortable position.

"Oh he'll be sorry tomorrow..." the fighter shook his head and laughed when Cloud managed to lift his head and look blearily at the three by his side. He looked quite horrible, his face pale except for red cheeks and bloodshot eyes. He'd clearly been crying a lot. His hair stood straight up at the back of his head, where the braid had once been. The longer hairs framing his face were wet, probably with alcohol and tears, and dirty with the kind of dirt that covered the ground in the slums. His clothes were covered with it too, and blotches of it darkened his face.

"Whaddreyalllookinad..."

Zack burst into helpless laughter as the stress of the day fell off his shoulders. He was angry at Cloud and sure that so were the others. But he also remembered a letter from Sephiroth, telling him how sick the spellcaster had been after only a few glasses of wine one peaceful night. Now the blond smelled like he'd poured half a bar down his throat. Zack was angry, but he was sure Cloud would be very properly sorry for all the worry he'd caused come morning.

"Weren't you thinking!" Aeris' relief took a different form as she leaned closer and frowned at the stench. She grabbed the braid from the table and shoved it to Cloud's face. "Why'd you do this! Where have you been all day? Do you have any idea how worried we've been!"

Cloud tried to focus his blurry eyes on the chocobo-yellow braid that had still been a part of him that morning, but failed quite completely. "Uh, whazzat?" he tried to grab it, but missed so badly Cid started to laugh soundlessly. Zack was doing his best to calm down, but Aeris was still angry.

"We thought the Turks had caught you!"

"... Durrsh? No, no no... dey... uh... dey're all... wussies. I'll prodect you fromm dem..." Cloud promised, nodding seriously and turning slightly green as a result. Aeris didn't seem too convinced.

Cid had recognized the signs and shoved a waste basket between Cloud and the floor just before the blond threw up on it and Aeris's shoes. The flower girl shouted with surprise and took a few quick steps back, banging the back of her feet to the table's edge.

"Don't worry, Buttercup..." Cid said with a wink, "we'll get him back for all the sorrow tomorrow..."

Cloud threw up again

**-x-x-x-**

The next morning, long before dawn, Sephiroth woke with a nagging feeling, and he knew that it wasn't about the battle they had planned for today. When he remembered the kiss the general pulled the thin pillow over his face and half hoped he'd suffocate and wouldn't have to face the spellcaster. It was one thing to chat with the blond, even flirting would have been understandable, but just to kiss someone who he didn't really know at all!

"... Someone kill me now..." Sephiroth muttered to the pillow and jumped to a sitting position when there was a noise right next to his cot.

"Sir?" his second-in-command stood there, an amused expression on her face. "If you don't get up soon for the battle, the enemy will take care of that..."

"... Shut your smart mouth, Camui..." Sephiroth muttered and got up. "Are the troops up yet?"

"Yes, and ready to attack as soon as you're ready." Camui reported, scratched her shaved head and put her helmet on. The general nodded.

"I'll get dressed. Have them ready to go over in ten minutes. No, make that fifteen. I'll be there in ten."

"Yes, sir!"

Sephiroth sat back down as soon as the woman closed the door, and dropped his head to his hands. There really wasn't time to be sitting around and worrying about things like spontaneous kisses, but knowing that he'd be left practically alone with Strife when the fighters attacked first... he'd lead this battle from the back, organizing the men handling the cannons. Most of their previous cannon crew had been killed a while ago, including the group's leader, when ShinRa's missile had exploded near them. And Cloud... he'd stay in the back, like in every battle, use his spells to their best advantage before joining the battle with his sword.

"... Why... WHY did I DO that?" The general asked himself while getting dressed as fast as one only could when used to incoming missiles during the night. At winter he'd skip the whole process of dressing and undressing and sleep in the uniform, but summer was on its way and the small bunker was too hot for that.

Still mentally kicking his own butt, Sephiroth was out with the troops in nine minutes, ready to give his usual short speech before the battle. The sky was beginning to pale in the east, the whole battlefield was covered in thick mist, just like on most spring mornings. With Cloud's ability to silence the sounds the attacking troops made, they'd be able to reach the ShinRa lines before they were noticed.

"All right, men and women, you know the drill. This is our land, the land we will leave to our children and their children, not land to be raped for Mako. This is our home, and our anger is just. Some of us will die today, but their souls will return to heal and protect our beloved ones and Wutai. Our deaths will not be in vain. Now let's kick some ass."

Sephiroth had done his best to steer his eyes away from the blond spellcaster when he had watched over the fighters. His army. There were so few of them, compared to ShinRa, but they were all so determined, so sure that they couldn't lose this battle or the war. This was their land, like he had said, and they were damned if they would let ShinRa have it.

Lucky for him, Cloud was standing in the back row, behind a wall of men and women who were eager to hear their general's words. But when he gave the command and the group leaders started to lead their men over the trenches, the wall between them thinned at an alarming speed.

In time that was more than complimentary to the trooper's abilities to move quickly and silently, but alarming to Sephiroth, there were just the injured and the reserves in the barracks, the cannon men, getting their weapons ready, Cloud, and him. And the blond was staring at him. Not directly, but from the corners of his brilliant, sky blue eyes... 'STOP IT!' Sephiroth screeched in his mind, feeling a blush creep up to his cheeks. Hoping that he could blame it on the excitement of the battle, he turned towards the spellcaster.

"Strife. Good morning."

"Morning, sir." Cloud answered, turning to face him with the most expression-free face the general had ever seen.

He could see and hear from the reports the radio men were giving him that the men were almost in position, but he couldn't go into battle or let the blond leave without saying something.

"Look, about last night..."

"Sir, everyone's in position!"

"Same here, sir!"

Sephiroth wiped his forehead with a gloved hand and closed his eyes for a second. "... Attack."

The order was relayed through the radios, and the cannons were fired while Cloud's spells crackled in the air. Now the mist was a nuisance, Sephiroth couldn't see the battle or his troops, could only follow the fighting through the radio. He wanted to join it so bad, but the men manning the cannons still needed his advice, unsure with the large and heavy weapons. Curse ShinRa.

The wave of the battle moved constantly but Sephiroth managed to follow it and guide the cannons, glancing over at Cloud every once in a while. The blond was still throwing spells into the enemy lines but the general could see from his movements that the spellcaster was getting ready to join the fight. He had watched the man before, when he had lead the battle from the back row a few times, and had soon learned the little routines the blond had.

Throw a spell, check weapons. Another spell, check the lesser materia. One more spell, grab the sword, last spell, fight. Cloud was now on the second to last spell when Sephiroth ran from the cannons to check the radio reports and give orders. He almost ran past the spellcaster but stopped to put a hand on the blond's shoulder after he had released the spell.

"Good luck, Strife." He said. Or would have said, if Cloud wouldn't have suddenly turned around, stood on his toes and quickly, very lightly and shyly brushed his lips against Sephiroth's. When the general got over his utter amazement Cloud was already running over the field, pulling his huge sword from its sheath. Mouth hanging open, Sephiroth just stared until one of the cannons released its missile with a loud bang, bringing him back to reality.

**-x-x-x-**

"Man, you STINK!"

Cloud cracked open one eye and immediately wished for death as a hammering headache hit him. He moaned and lifted both shaky hands to cover his eyes from the dim slum daylight that streamed in through the window. Actually, what the slum dwellers called daylight didn't as much stream as limp or ooze through the thick air, but right now, it was way too bright for him.

"Owww... what hit me..." the spellcaster moaned pitifully. Cid laughed long and hard at him.

"Judging by that smell, a case of beer, a few bottles of wine and at least a few shots of whiskey and tequila. Man, do you have to overdo everything?"

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut tighter and whined, dimly beginning to remember that Cid wasn't far from correct. "Kill me, please..."

"Oh, no way! Not until we've all gotten back at you for yesterday! Shit, man, we thought the Turks got you, or worse! And you were out getting hammered! Sorry, but you're gonna hafta pay for that... THEN I might kill you, if I'm still angry enough."

"Angry?" the spellcaster opened one eye slightly again, and peered at his cousin. The mechanic was grinning madly at him, clearly enjoying his misery.

"Yeah, angry! Too bad I gotta go to work now. But I'm sure that Vinnie, Aeris and Zack are gonna make you miserable enough until I get back... have a nice day, boyo!" Cid barked out a laugh and ruffled Cloud's hair vigorously, making the other blond moan with pain.

The door slammed shut with way too much noise, at least for Cloud's ears. He couldn't remember much about the previous day... he had visited Aeris and her mother at their home, then wandered in the slums for an hour or so... until he'd decided to stop for a coffee at a small bar. Sitting alone in the half empty bar, he'd soon decided that he needed something stronger than coffee. The first drink had been a bitter one, but he'd finished it anyway. The second had gone down smoother, and by the third he'd been joined by a cheery, drunk man who had introduced the spellcaster to his good friends Whiskey and Tequila. He could feel bile rising up his throat when he remembered the drink the man had called bequila: a shot of tequila dropped into a pint of beer, glass and all. He'd drank that, as well. And beskey. And something that involved tequila and tabasco sauce. Oh, gods...

Cloud rolled over surprisingly fast and threw up in the empty waste basket Cid had left for him.

"I'd hate to kick a man when he's down, but you kinda deserve that."

The words floated to Cloud's ears as from a great distance, and he was surprised to see Zack standing so close when he lifted his head. That was a wrong move, though, as his head now felt it would split into two at any moment. Cloud closed his eyes and moaned, dropping his head to the couch. Zack chuckled and offered him some tissue. The spellcaster accepted it with a shaky hand and wiped his mouth.

"Thanks... why was Cid so mad?"

"You don't remember? You left around ten in the morning, said you'd be back soon. You were gone for about twelve hours, without letting no one know where you were. We were all worried sick, and looking for you all over Midgar." Zack explained and picked up the waste basket to go and empty it in the toilet. Cloud groaned.

"... Sorry. I got... distracted."

"It's ok to do something utterly stupid like get yourself wasted, but you could have let us know. It's not exactly safe out there for you, or pretty much for any of us. But anyway, I figured out yesterday where we could go for a while. Aeris and her mom are ready to leave as soon as we are. Aeris isn't too thrilled about this, she's worried about her flowers, but her mom is relieved, I gathered. So. As soon as you can stand, we're leaving."

"... Where to?" Cloud managed to ask when Zack was almost at the toilet already.

"It's a secret, for now. You'll see."

The next time Cloud became aware of his surroundings it was Aeris who he saw first. The pink-clad girl gave him a stern look but soon crouched down beside him, running a gentle hand over his forehead and hair.

"How are you feeling, Cloud?" she asked, sounding slightly concerned.

The blond closed his eyes for a moment. The headache was still there, but not so bad if he stayed still. He felt that he'd still have to throw up before he'd feel even a little better. "Uhh... I'm ok..."

"You don't look like it."

"I've felt worse." Cloud muttered and yelped with surprise and pain when Aeris started to tug his shirt off. "What are you doing!" The last thing he wanted was people to see his scarred body, having them see all that damage which he had no explanations for. "Stop!"

"All right!" Aeris stood and stepped back, looking a bit hurt. "I just thought you'd feel better in a clean shirt! I'm sure you'd smell better."

Zack was laughing somewhere in the background, and Cloud could hear someone else's voice as well. Probably Vincent. Were they taking turns in making him more miserable than he already was?

"It's ok, I'll take a shower soon..." he muttered, tugging his shirt back down. The movements didn't feel too nice in his head, and his stomach started to protest as well. "Oh shit..."

Aeris turned the other way while he threw up again, and the splitting headache came pounding back. His stomach kept heaving even though he felt like there couldn't possibly be anything left in it anymore.

"Here..." Aeris offered him a tissue once he was done, and Cloud wiped his mouth. The tissue was no help in getting the horrible taste from his mouth, though. He'd need to get up for that. He thought about it, and came to the conclusion that he could live with the taste for a few moments longer. Hell, if moving hurt like this, he could live with it for the rest of his life! Being pinned to the ground with a heavy beam on top of him and arm crushed almost in two had been a picnic compared to this...

* * *

Cloud had finally managed to get up and into the shower without throwing up or keeling over with headache when Cid got home around five in the afternoon. The mechanic laughed wickedly when Zack told him just how sick the spellcaster had been.

"Aeris left a few hours ago. She and her mom will get ready, and as soon as it's dark, we're leaving Midgar." The fighter's words surprised Cid completely.

"What? Today!"

"Yeah. The sooner the better."

"Why not tomorrow?" It was dangerous for all of them, but Cid realized that he really didn't want to part with his cousin so soon, not without knowing that Cloud would be all right.

"Well, Cloud tried that, too, but Vincent pointed out that it's far easier to get out of here after nightfall than during the day." Zack explained and shrugged. "The faster we get out of here, the better."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. The Turks are on the move, I saw more blue suits go by today than I usually see in a month."

"Really? Shit..." Zack frowned and scratched the back of his head, starting to pace in the small space of the living-room. "Hope they won't post more guards on the gates..."

Cloud came out from the bathroom then, clean and dressed in clean clothes. His hair looked pitiful, the longer spikes drooping with the moisture, and the short hairs in the back standing up. It was enough to make Cid burst into laughter.

"Damn! You look like... like a chocobo... whose tail feathers have been plucked out!" The mechanic managed to gasp between peels of laughter. The -very fitting- description made Zack laugh as well, and Vincent rolled his eyes, not letting such things break his blasé facade. Cloud blushed and glared death on all of them.

"Haven't you had enough fun at my expense already today?" the spellcaster growled and sat on the couch, making Cid move closer to Vincent to make some room. The mechanic patted his cousin on the back as an apology.

"Sorry, Cloud. But why did you cut your hair in the first place?" Zack said, forcing himself serious. Cid turned to hear the explanation as well, but Vincent kept his attention on the television.

Cloud squirmed a bit, not liking the attention. He turned his eyes to the floor and was silent for a long moment, long enough that Cid poked him gently in the ribs. "It's... because..."

"Come on, kiddo. You can tell us..." Cid said, smiling gently now. Cloud shook his head slightly and sighed. "What's with the melancholy?"

"It's because... he's dead. This's what warriors do, in Wutai. When someone close to them dies." Cloud explained quietly, his voice even.

Cid fell quiet and Zack found himself fighting back tears. The fighter came and knelt in front of Cloud, taking both his hands into his own, larger ones. He looked up, turning his head until he caught Cloud's eyes. "Seph loved your hair, you know... he wrote to me about it. I don't think he's happy that you went and cut it, but I'm sure he still appreciates it."

Cloud sobbed loudly and Zack could feel hot tears fall on his palms. "He's really gone... I miss him so much..." the blond whispered. "And... I'm sorry for yelling at you yesterday morning, but it just hurts so much sometimes... it's not right! He shouldn't have died!" Cloud started to cry helplessly. Cid, almost in tears himself, wrapped an arm around his shoulders and leaned his cheek against Cloud's shoulder, murmuring quiet, calming words.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it..." Cloud muttered once he got his tears under control again. Cid patted him on the back.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo..."

Zack rubbed some warmth into the blond's hands, still held tightly in his own. "It's ok to cry. Doesn't make you any less of a man."

"... Or woman, depending which one of you was on top..." Cid muttered under his breath. Zack choked and turned away, furiously pushing all images created by the sentence out of his mind.

Vincent rolled his eyes and slapped the back of the mechanic's head. "You just can't keep your piehole shut, can you? Moron..."

"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." Cid chuckled but was honest when he turned to his cousin. "Sorry, Cloud, me an' my big mouth, you know me..."

Cloud was very quiet and unmoving, he only stared ahead and blinked slowly.

"Cloud? Shit, man, I didn't mean it..."

The spellcaster turned slowly to him and frowned. "If that's what makes me male or female, then... what's it called when you're both?"

"... I didn't need to know that..." Zack muttered and rubbed his eyes as the images came running back.

Cid stared at Cloud, mouth hanging open until the spellcaster winked slowly. "You... slag!" the older blond shouted and burst into laughter.

* * *

Around eight in the evening Zack decided that it was time to leave. Vincent had one more night shift before a few days off, so he and Cid left the same time as the two Peacemakers. They said goodbye to Vincent at the shop. The mechanic had decided to hang along to make sure they got out of the city.

The three tried to stay in the shadows as they made their way to Aeris' house. The slums were quieter than usual, but Cid assured them it was normal at the start of the week. Friday was payday, and after clock struck five on Friday afternoon, the slums were packed until Sunday evening.

"But still, the Turks might be prowlin' here for you guys..." the mechanic muttered, walking between Cloud and Zack. The fighter was carrying his sword over his shoulder so that no one would even think about troubling them. The spellcaster kept his materia and knives hidden, staring ahead as they walked. He'd joked with Cid earlier, but after that had fallen into a dark, quiet mood.

Luckily they didn't see one dark blue suit they'd recognize as a Turk uniform. Aeris' house was a bit away from the main part of the slums, sitting alone near a small garden she was taking care of. It seemed to be the only house in the slums that didn't look as if it was falling apart or in need of a lot of work. One light was on in the upper floor, and all the windows on the ground floor were bathed in soft, warm light.

"Damn. That's enough to make me homesick..." Zack muttered and grinned. "Nothing like the rest of the slums. No wonder Aeris isn't in a hurry to leave..."

"Yeah... I'll give the place two weeks before it's in as bad a shape as the rest of the sector..." Cid said as they stopped for a moment. Just seeing this small haven in the middle of the decay of the slums was enough to calm a soul.

"Can't you and Vinnie move in or something? Make sure the place stays like this?" Zack suggested. The mechanic shrugged and seemed to consider it seriously.

"Hey, that's not a bad idea... yeah, keep the place in shape if Miss Buttercup or her mom come back. You're not half as dumb as you look."

"Thanks. Hey, wait..."

"Moron."

"Come on, you two..." Cloud muttered and took off, leaving the two grinning and glaring at each other. The front door was open but since that was normal he paid little attention to it.

"Wait up, Cloud!" Zack called and jogged after him, a chuckling Cid right behind him. At the open door Zack swore he could sense something wrong, but a quick glance around the room showed him nothing out of the ordinary. Cloud was standing near the opposite wall, staring at something with his head cocked to the side. The fighter quickly followed his gaze, but whatever the spellcaster was seeing was hidden from him by the open door.

"Hey Buttercup! You ready yet?" Cid shouted once he was in, and jumped in fright when the door slammed suddenly shut behind him. Zack swore when he saw what Cloud, now holding both his knives ready, had been peering at.

"Drop your sword." Tseng said, pointing his gun at the fighter's chest.

Reno appeared on the top of the stairs, reaching over the railing, the tip of his electric rod crackling next to Cloud's ear. "You too, Mister Strife... the President will be soooo happy to meet you!"

"You fuckin'-" Cid started but a third Turk stepped out of the kitchen and grabbed the mechanic by the neck of his shirt.

"I'll only say this once again, drop your weapons, all of you. We only need Mr. Strife and Aeris alive, the rest of you are disposable." Tseng said, a snake's smile on his lips.

"Traitor." Cloud hissed and dropped his knives to the floor. "You're Wutaian, aren't you? How can you work for ShinRa?"

Tseng's eyes grew hard but he just shrugged the comment away and gestured towards Zack's sword. The fighter let go of the handle and the long, heavy blade slid off his shoulder and fell to the floor with a loud, metallic thud. "Blood does not dictate where loyalties lie."

"Your materia too, kid. We know you're a spellcaster." Reno said with a grin as he jumped over the railing to stand next to Cloud. His weapon's tip never left its place next to the blond head.

Cloud, still staring at Tseng, rolled up his sleeve and loosened the materia bangle around his wrist, letting it drop to the floor, next to his knives.

"Be a good boy now and Rude here won't snap your cousin's neck. The one around your upper arm, as well..." Tseng ordered, and Cloud obeyed. Cid swore and struggled to get out of the vice-like grip, but the tall, bald Turk holding him didn't even budge.

"What have you done to Aeris and her mother?" Cloud demanded as he lifted his hands into the air. Reno quickly searched him, nodding to Tseng when he found nothing.

"Nothing. It's not us who have business with Miss Gainsborough. We're just to escort her, and you, to meet with our boss. By force, if needed." The Wutaian Turk explained casually, as if holding a gun to someone's head was a daily occurrence to him. Which it was. "If you two come quietly, you won't come to any harm from us, that I can guarantee. If you give us grief, I can guarantee that your friends and her mother won't see another sunrise."

"Livin' down here, you think we've ever seen one?" Cid muttered. He had resigned to being hanged by his neck like a kitten, and had crossed his arms over his chest, looking mostly insulted by everything.

The Turks just ignored his words as the one named Rude used his free hand to force Cid's hands into cuffs. Tseng motioned for Zack to follow the mechanic's example, and the fighter was bound the same way.

"You too, blondie..." Reno said with a smirk, but turned a bit serious when Cloud glared death at him.

"I have nothing left to live for, Turk... how about you?" Cloud hissed as he reached out his hands. Reno was clearly unnerved by this, and his hands were shaking ever so slightly when he slapped the cuffs around the spellcaster's wrists.

"All right, Elena, you can bring them down now." Tseng called. A moment passed before they started to hear voices and footsteps upstairs, and soon Aeris and her mother, both cuffed as well, were led downstairs by a young, blonde Turk.

"Cloud! Are you guys all right? They were waiting when I got here, they were threatening to kill mom... I'm so sorry..." Aeris tried to reach her friend, but Reno put out an arm and stopped her before she got too close.

"Not so fast, sister." The redhead eyed her up and down, smirking. "Too bad you're off limits..."

"Get your filthy hands off of her!" Cloud shouted, angered, and Reno had to lift his other arm to hold the spellcaster off. His lightning rod, still on, was now dangerously close to his own head.

"Reno! Elena! Restrain your prisoners!" Tseng barked, turning his attention momentarily from Zack. The fighter lifted his arms immediately and punched the Turk's gun-arm to the side. The gun went off but the bullet flew away from everyone, skidded from the door-frame and continued its way to the kitchen. Aeris and her mother screamed, and the older woman pulled her daughter down. That threw Reno off balance, and Cloud's foot to the back of his knees dropped the Turk to the floor. The lightning rod, however, caught the spellcaster in the knee, and Cloud fell as well, howling with the sudden pain.

"Stop! Don't move!" Elena shouted, aiming her gun at both women kneeling on the floor. Zack had managed to knock Tseng's gun to the floor, but the Turk had retaliated with punching the fighter. The two were now squaring each other off, throwing quiet insults and threats.

All the while, Rude had not moved. Cid had curled into a fetal ball when the gun had gone off, and was now peeking at the chaos through his uplifted arms. "Hey big guy, whaddayasay we go out for a fag and leave these guys to finish this ugly business...?"

For a moment it almost seemed like the Turk would accept, but then he shook his head minutely and tightened his hold on the mechanic. "Shut up."

"Come on, it looks like we're not really even involved in all this!"

"Shut up." The Turk repeated and shook his prisoner slightly. Cid gagged with the tight grip on his throat.

Reno got back up quickly as Elena pointed her gun from Aeris to her mother to Cloud and back to Aeris. The redhead growled and kicked Cloud in the ribs. "Get up. And no stupid tricks this time."

Elena ordered the women up as well, and seeing what the situation had changed to, Zack lowered his hands in defeat. Tseng smirked and bowed down to catch his gun, but the fighter moved quickly and kicked it away. Tseng was back up again in one fluid movement, and punched him.

Reno and Cloud both scrambled for the gun as it slid their way. The spellcaster was still on his knees, so with a desperate lunge he reached the gun first, and turned to his back to shove it into Reno's face. The Turk froze.

"Drop the gun, Strife, or she dies!" Elena shouted, her gun now pointing at Aeris' mother.

"You drop it, or he dies." Cloud hissed, taking advantage of the fact that Reno was pretty much laying on him to bruise his face with the barrel. The Turk didn't dare to use his electric rod in fear of the gun.

"No, Strife, you drop it or she AND your cousin die!" Tseng howled, quite annoyed. He hadn't expected this to be an easy job, but this was starting to be ridiculous.

"SOMEONE drop it already!" Cid struggled to get free again, hating being just a pawn in other people's game. Rude shook him sharply, making the mechanic's shirt bite into his skin. "Still, squirrel."

"..." Cloud glared at Reno with all the hatred and anger he could muster, and let the gun fall to the ground. The Turk immediately grabbed for it, and used its butt to hit the spellcaster's head. That didn't do anything to help the hung over Cloud, who closed his eyes and groaned, holding his head as the Turk got up and tossed the gun back to his boss. Tseng caught it and turned it immediately to Zack.

"All right, now that we're done playing hero, it's time to go. Strife, Aeris, do ANYTHING stupid and these three die. GOT IT?" the Turk clearly was deathly serious, so Aeris nodded. Cloud just groaned as an answer while Reno roughly tugged him up.

"Don't worry, boss, I think I knocked the fight out of him."

"Finally." Tseng murmured and motioned with the gun for Zack to get out. He followed immediately, then Reno and Elena with their three prisoners. Rude and Cid were the last. The large Turk closed the door as soon as they were out.

Cid felt quite stupid, actually, being carried around like this, watching as his friends and family were threatened. Cloud seemed a bit dizzy after the hit to the head, but Reno still kept a sharp eye on the spellcaster. Elena guided both Aeris and her mother, not that either would try anything. Zack kept looking over his shoulder at them every time Tseng's attention was momentarily elsewhere.

They were led from the quiet corner of the slums towards the more lively parts. The streets were still fairly quiet, and most people minded their own business, paying no attention to the Turks and their prisoners. But Cid noticed that the further they got, the more people stopped to stare and whisper. Soon, even the people ahead of them were staring and pointing. It made the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up.

Tseng seemed a bit nervous as well, glaring at their curious audience to keep them from trying to be heroes. He kept glancing over his shoulder as well, trying to keep everything under control. He wasn't liking this situation at all.

They were almost out of the sector already, the next one would be just past the last few houses. It would be quieter there. But when they reached the small clearing before the gateway, they were met by a throng of slum dwellers, glaring at the Turks angrily, some even holding weapons. Tseng stopped his small group immediately, pulled Zack closer and lifted the gun up to the man's temple.

"Let us pass now, and there will be no trouble to you." The Turk didn't shout, just raised his voice, but it was enough to make some of the people nervous. But not all.

"Where're you takin' them?" One man demanded loudly.

"That's none of your business." Tseng snarled and demanded them to move again.

"It is when you're taking our family." The man shouted and pointed at the Turk with his baseball bat. Others shouted in agreement.

Tseng looked at his small group of prisoners. "Don't be absurd, none of these are your family."

"She's my niece!" The man pointed at Aeris. Another pointed at Zack and claimed him as a cousin. One woman recognized Cloud as her brother. A few called Aeris' mother their sister, and a little girl tried to run to Cid, shouting for daddy. The mob closed in on all sides, making it tight for the Turks and their prisoners.

"STAY BACK!" Tseng shouted and moved his gun from Zack's head to point at the crowd. That was a wrong move. The fighter elbowed him in the back, pushing the Turk forward, and the mob descended on him. Zack knelt quickly to steal the master key to the cuffs from the Turk's belt before trying to back away from the fight. Rude dropped Cid as the little girl and two other kids attached themselves to the mechanic's legs. The blond quickly ushered them away from the fight as Rude was immediately attacked by three grown men. Elena screamed as she was pulled into the crowd, her gun taken from her hand. Reno twirled his electric rod around, keeping the mob around him at bay while he screamed for backup into his PHS. But a two-by-four to the back of his head soon felled him as well.

Having escorted 'his kids' to safety, Cid returned to the chaos to reach his friends. He soon saw Aeris and her mother, clasping hands with people as they were pushed away from the middle of the fight. The blond shouted thank-you's and apologies and elbowed his way after the two women, soon catching a glimpse of Zack's spiky hair. The fighter was dragging Cloud away from the fight.

"Hey! Wait!" Cid shouted and soon reached his friends as the throng of people eased around him. Aeris and her mother were holding each other, talking with a few women. Zack was standing right beside them, holding a nauseous-looking Cloud up. He was using the key to open their cuffs, and quickly freed Cid as well.

"We have to leave before back-up gets here." The fighter said, looking around wildly. Cid swore as he realized that all their weapons, Zack's sword, Cloud's knives and materia were still at Aeris' house. Well, it couldn't be helped now!

"Come on, Vinnie's shop is just on the other side of the gate. I can get you some stuff there, then get you outta here. Ladies, come on!" The blond mechanic lead them to the next sector, through the quiet streets towards the liquor shop. He went in alone, and soon returned with a full plastic bag. He shoved it to Zack and hurried them along, deeper into the sector. Soon he took a sharp turn to the left.

"This isn't the best way to leave town without being noticed, and not the easiest, either, but I don't think we can be picky right now!" He guided them to a stinking alley, and to their horror, opened the lid to the sewer. "Right, in you go! Straight till you come to a crossroad, then to the right, and then just keep on walkin' till you're out. Simple as a picnic."

"You're kidding." Zack said, holding his nose to keep from gagging. Cloud looked positively green beside him.

"I kid you not. Get in. There're a few flashlights in the bag. Hurry, for fuck's sake!"

"Will you be alright?" Aeris asked while her mother tied a scarf around her mouth. The pink-clad girl didn't seem too thrilled of the idea of going down the sewers, but she seemed less disturbed by the smell than the others.

"Yeah, I'll go to the shop and lay low for a while. Get my stuff from my place and move to Vinnie's. Eh, who am I kidding, there's nothing worth saving there. Don't ya worry about me, I'll be alright. Just... lemme know once you're somewhere safe, k?"

"Yeah, sure..." Zack muttered as he got ready to go down. Cid grabbed his cousin into a tight hug.

"Take care, goofball. Say hi to auntie Ame, and mom too, if you hear from one or the other."

"Yeah, you too..." Cloud muttered.

They said their goodbyes and descended into the sewer. Cid stayed there to close the lid and to throw some dirt and garbage onto it, and then ran through the alleys to the shop.

It was dark in the sewer, but Zack soon found two torches from the full bag. He turned one on and handed the other to Aeris. They were in a round tunnel, the roof not much higher than the tips of Zack's longest spikes.

"Well, let's get goin' then."

They were walking knee-deep in muck which contents they did not want to know of. It stank so bad that they were all gagging, even Aeris. Cloud's hangover returned and he threw up a few times before they reached the crossing. Their smaller pipe joined a much larger one there, all the muck slowly streaming to the right. There were a few lights in the high ceiling here and there, just enough to illuminate the more disgusting bits of waste that stuck out from the goo. Their pipe was at a higher level, so they had to go down a small ladder.

"... You guys think it's too late to go and surrender to the Turks?" Zack muttered, looking green in the flashlight's beam.

"I wonder what happened to them." Aeris asked no one in particular, to get her mind off the fact that she was now standing hip-deep in various types of waste. Her mother hung onto her shoulder. She'd almost slipped a few times already.

"Well I'm pretty sure that they deserved it, whatever they got." Zack said, holding the plastic bag above the muck. He gagged, water running from his eyes.

"I feel really sick..." Cloud muttered beside the fighter, shaking his head.

"Maybe it won't be long now." Aeris tried to comfort him. But there was no end to the tunnel in sight. Both ahead and behind, it was soon swallowed by complete darkness.

"The sooner we move, the sooner we're out of here." Zack mentioned as no one seemed eager to move deeper into the sewage, to a more even floor. That did the trick, though, and they continued their escape from Midgar.

The lights above, where they worked, barely lighted the muck below. The flashlights showed them only what they pointed them at, which was handy, since no one really wanted to know what kept making those squeaking sounds around them. A few times something that sounded very big roared somewhere behind them, but luckily they met no monsters. Zack had taken a moment to go through the bag when they took a small break: there was water and a few boxes of dry biscuits, two bottles of strong alcohol and three boxes of matches, and some old, dirty cleaning rags. The contents had puzzled him a bit until he remembered that Vincent worked in a liquor store. Still, the thought of them stopping to make a bomb out of the ingredients while fighting off some monster did make him giggle.

It was a scary thought, but they'd almost grown used to the stench by the time they felt the first brushes of fresh air against their sweaty skins. The sewage flowed a bit faster around them, the tunnel starting to lead downwards. A few more hundred yards and the tunnel just suddenly spat them out to the nature. They managed to jump from the edge to their left, to the yellow grass lining the sides of the stinking river that streamed out of their sight.

"We're out..." Aeris whispered with reverence usually saved for moments where one sees one's first born for the first time. She and her mother sat down while Zack stopped to look up to the starry sky high above, relieved.

"Thank Leviathan..." Cloud muttered by his side and fainted. The fighter yelped and quickly reached out to catch the spellcaster before he hit the ground, or worse, the river.

"Is he alright?" Aeris worried when the fighter helped the smaller man to his back.

"Yeah, just fainted. I think he's still exhausted and sick. I was sure he'd faint way before this... must have kept himself conscious just not to fall into that shit." Zack sat down beside Cloud and sighed. "I think we can afford a small break, but we better get far from here as soon as possible."

"I don't think we're too far from Kalm." Aeris' mother said, looking around.

Zack shook his head. "It's the closest place, it's the first place they'll look. Sorry, Mrs... uh..."

"Please, call me Elmyra. I didn't think of that..."

"Ah, hello, nice to meet you, Elmyra. I'm Zack." The fighter grinned and reached out his hand. Elmyra took it and smiled. "I'd normally kiss such a beautiful lady on the hand, but I hope you'll pardon me this time."

Both women laughed, but fell quiet almost immediately in fear that someone might hear.

"You know what, ladies? The first town we reach, we're shopping for clothes and bathing until we're wrinkly as raisins."

Aeris shook her head, chuckling under her breath. "This is going to be an interesting trip..."

.

* * *

**A.N: **Tequila+Tabasco sauce is the WORST, most horrible thing imaginable you can pour down your throat. Unless your insides are made of asbestos. The smell still makes me sick, and it has been 7 or 8 years since I was dared to drink a shot of it…

Answers to reviews:

dogcollar: The magic 8-ball says: All signs point to Yes. My own preferences point towards ZxC, but Cloud seems a bit reluctant. Thank you for the comment, there shall be more flashbacks!


	8. Chapter 7: Waiting

Inserting songs into stories: a convenient way to get the page count up, or do they actually work? You'll be the judge! I own nothing, except that I just got a really cool AC Vincent figurine to go with the ones I already have! (Cloud and Sephiroth) Hee hee. :heart:

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* * *

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**Chapter Seven**

**Waiting**

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Zack took them straight towards the mountains in the south, keeping quiet about their final destination. They kept a steady pace that first night, even though Cloud kept grumbling about it once he came to his senses. The fighter had offered to carry him, but the spellcaster had given him a death glare for even mentioning it.

It was well past midnight when they finally stopped at a small forest which hid them from plain view and gave them some shelter from the light drizzle that had started about an hour earlier. They were already half wet from the trek in the sewers, the rain did its bit to wash the dirt away.

Cloud, exhausted and still ill from the drinking, fell asleep as soon as he found a semi-comfortable spot on the damp ground. He was snoring lightly before Aeris and Elmyra found relatively dry spots to even sit on. Zack wasn't as choosy as the women, he plopped down on the nearest spot of grass and leaned his back against a tree trunk.

"You ladies get some rest, I'll keep watch for now. I'll wake Cloud when I get tired."

"Let him sleep, you can wake me, ok?" Aeris said and smiled at him as she and Elmyra huddled together for warmth and comfort. The fighter chuckled and nodded.

The two women fell asleep quickly as well. Zack sighed and turned to look at the sky through the leaves above. There wasn't much to see, heavy clouds hung everywhere above them. The whole world was dark and grey. He wasn't tired at all, not with everything that had happened in the last few days. Everything since Sephiroth and Cloud had gone missing had kept him on his toes, running from place to place. But he wasn't tired. He knew that he'd have to get this small group to safety before he could rest. Before he could let himself rest, to be more exact.

* * *

The next day they passed Kalm from afar, and by nightfall had reached a lonely farmhouse near a swamp area. Zack took the others to the house, telling them that this was where he'd left his chocobo before coming to Midgar.

"It's not a good place for an animal as delicate as a chocobo. I mean, they're strong and all, but there's no clean food for them in Midgar. And only the best is good enough for my Jammy!" He cooed and leaned over a fence, scratching the head of the green chocobo. The other birds in the outdoor pen didn't pay attention to the strangers at all.

The owner's grandson charged practically an arm and a leg before letting the weary travelers rest in the chocobo stable. There was only one pen free, and the four huddled in it, listening to the large birds coo and warble. Come morning, the kid charged them some more for some greens, food for chocobos that they could use to catch themselves a few birds. Cloud, Aeris and Elmyra were a bit hesitant, but Zack assured them that they'd manage to travel much faster.

"And we can't all fit on Jammy!"

It was near afternoon before Zack and Cloud had managed to catch two more chocobos. By then they were both dirty, bruised and bleeding. Aeris and Elmyra had managed not to laugh too much at them. And after paying the greedy kid some more to take a shower, they climbed on their chocobos and crossed the swamp to reach the Mythril Mines. Zack let Elmyra and Aeris ride on Jammy. He and Cloud had more experience in riding the large birds, so they could handle the wild ones better.

The birds certainly sped up their journey. Zack was still quiet about where he was taking them, but everyone could tell that they had been heading south ever since passing through the Mines. They had been eerily empty, the fighter told the others how the mines had been abandoned only a few years ago, soon after he and Sephiroth had been there, fighting smugglers and whatnot.

The chocobos weren't tired yet at nightfall, so they continued on until midnight before stopping at the vicinity of an old fort. Zack had a story or two to tell about that as well, but the others fell asleep before he could tell them much. The fighter stayed awake for a few more hours, watching the stars.

They continued towards south after visiting the fort to buy some food. After riding for a while, Cloud guided his almost tame bird beside Zack's. The fighter's chocobo was still quite willful, and tried to take off when the other bird approached it.

"Zack, you do realize that if you take us much farther to the south, we'll fall into the sea." Cloud said quietly, looking ahead. He thought he could actually see the ocean, and just the thought made him queasy.

"Don't worry about it. I know the people who live around here. They'll take us where we're going."

"By boat?" Cloud asked, frowning, but Zack just smiled. "You are planning to take us to Mideel, right?"

The fighter's face fell. "How did you know?"

"Zack, I can read a map. I know that Mideel's pretty much all there is south from here. And it's safe. ShinRa has no actual power over the town."

"True. And it's pretty darn warm there, too. You ever surf?"

"In Nibelheim? Are you kidding?"

"So you're more into snowboarding then?" Zack asked with a bright smile. The look Cloud gave him bordered on dirty before the blond sped off with his chocobo.

There indeed was a small village there, before the ocean. They rode into a thick forest and suddenly popped out onto a long, sandy beach with small houses scattered here and there. Long piers stretched into the sea, and sails dotted the blueness of the sea which melted into sky somewhere far in the horizon. Aeris and Elmyra both almost forgot to breathe.

"It's… so beautiful… I've never, ever seen anything like this…" Aeris whispered, tears of joy on her cheeks.

"Hope you still like it once we get in the boat!" Zack said and nudged his chocobo on. Jammy was a bit jealous that her master was riding another bird, but she still behaved herself and carried the two women safely.

The fighter took them towards the small houses. They left the two tamed chocobos at a farm with a pen with three chocobos, and continued on with Jammy in tow. Children of the village followed them, fascinated by the animal. The strangers, too, but mostly Jammy. Green chocobos were rare.

The other three watched on when Zack called out to some people, who apparently recognized him straight away, and greeted him with hugs, exchanging how-do-you-do's. The fighter seemed to be in his own element as he introduced his friends quickly and explained that they were going towards Mideel, coming up with a back story that was pretty much correct but involved none of the Turks, Midgar, angry Presidents and such unpleasantries. After a few minutes he had gotten them a ride in a boat, some fresh clothes and even food for the trip.

"That was… impressive." Cloud muttered when the fighter returned. Aeris and Elmyra were already escorted away to the bath house by several village women.

"A smile will get you anywhere. That, and I did help them fight a sea monster infestation a couple of years ago." Zack said with a bright smile. "Come on, let's go take a bath!"

Cloud almost followed him before stopping as if he'd hit a wall. "Uh, I'd rather not."

Zack stopped as well, turning to look at the spellcaster from over his shoulder. "What? No offense, but you still do kinda stink. And the boat is pretty small."

Cloud blushed and shook his head. "I just… don't like… public baths."

"It's ok!" Zack said and walked over, patting him on the shoulder. "You can wear a towel to the steam room. And it's not like there'll be a lot of people there, most young guys are still out fishing. And I promise not to look!" The fighter added when Cloud still seemed hesitant. The blond blushed some more, and grudgingly agreed, not knowing how to explain that he wasn't shy about being seen naked per se; it was the scars that he couldn't explain that made him so uncomfortable.

Lucky for him, the bath house was almost empty. Not to mention steamy, and dark. They both hit their toes to various thresholds and bumps in the uneven wooden floor. The steam room was empty besides one old man, who kept throwing so much water on the hot stones that the two had to escape to the small pools in a matter of minutes. A few more men occupied those, but Cloud managed to stay pretty much under the water up to his neck, causing a few remarks from them.

Zack had jumped into a pool where the water was almost ice cold. It was next to a wall, and the fighter kept motioning for Cloud to join him. The spellcaster finally got out, wrapped into his large towel provided by the bath house, and walked over to the dark-haired man. "What is it?"

"Shhh!" Zack motioned for him to be quiet and get in to the pool. Cloud frowned and did so, careful not to let the fighter see him naked. Zack paid little attention to him, however, his head almost riveted to the wall. He kept motioning for the spellcaster to come closer, and when Cloud finally obliged and came to stand next to him, the fighter whispered: "I can hear the girls from here."

Aeris, Elmyra and the two women with them started when there was a loud screech followed by a lot of splashing from the other side of the wall. Later on, Zack and Cloud denied hearing anything.

The boat was owned by an old fisherman called Jonah. Zack introduced him to the others at the pier. The man was very tanned and almost bald, his wrinkled face becoming even more so when he smiled. His accent was almost incomprehensible to everyone except Zack, but they understood that they could leave whenever they wanted, so they decided to leave the very same evening.

"Might as well. I don't think ShinRa's following us this far yet, if ever, but we still shouldn't let them catch up." Zack figured as they walked back towards the town with a note from Jonah with all necessary equipment listed. Elmyra was nodding to his reasoning, and Aeris gladly agreed. She was so excited about the oncoming boat trip that she would have left immediately. Cloud was a bit more suspicious.

"That… thing was his 'boat'?"

"Yeah, and it's a fast one, too!" Zack intentionally ignored Cloud's very sceptic tone. The sun was shining, there was a cool breeze, the town was peaceful… nothing was going to ruin his good mood. Not even Cloud, who seemed determined to do so.

"It's small. Very, very small. Will we fit?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll have to tie Jammy down so she won't decide to take a swim, but we'll fit."

"You're going to take the chocobo into_ that_ shoebox?"

By now, Zack was rolling his eyes, and his smile seemed a bit forced. "I'm not gonna leave her, she's my friend! It's not her first time in a boat. We'll fit."

"Won't the boat sink?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes. Now shut up or I'll tie you up to the mast."

"…" Cloud did shut up, but didn't stop worrying. He only grew more nervous by the minute, and when it was time to climb aboard, he just about froze on the pier. Zack climbed back out of the boat while Jonah got everything ready. Aeris and Elmyra were already seated, ready to go. Jammy was standing in the bow, warking excitedly.

"Hey, don't worry, nothing bad's gonna happen." Zack said quietly to the blond who just shook his head. "It's a good boat, Jonah's taken this trip so many times, he knows the sea like the insides of his pockets. You got nothing to worry about."

Cloud frowned, and eventually, quite reluctantly muttered, that he'd never been in a boat before.

"Neither has Aeris, and she doesn't seem worried about it. Besides, you've been on boats from Junon to Costa, and the north, and Wutai. It's no different."

"First of all, those were ships, except the one in Wutai, that was a ferry. BIG boats, Zack. This is small. And there's just a bit of wood between us and the sea."

"A bit of STRONG wood, Cloud. And there's like, two, three inches of it."

"It's gonna rock. A lot. Isn't it?"

"Well, if the wind picks up, maybe a little." Zack admitted, "But that's just fun! It's like a cradle. J's an excellent sailor, you don't have to worry."

"I still think I'm gonna take my chances with ShinRa, rather than that." Cloud pointed at the boat. Jonah was already untying the ropes from the pier. Zack sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Ok, Cloud, whatever. Your decision." The fighter amended. Cloud blinked, surprised that it was this easy. Zack leaned over a bit, ready to jump back into the boat. Instead he turned quickly, grabbed Cloud around his waist, turned again and jumped into the boat before the spellcaster could even meep with surprise. The villagers at the pier laughed and waved as Jonah pushed the boat away from the pier and turned towards the open sea.

When they were a few dozen feet away from the pier, Zack put Cloud down and seated him between Aeris and Elmyra. "Sorry about that, but I did it for your own good."

Cloud was still so in shock that he could barely get his mouth open, but he glared at the fighter as angrily as he could.

"Let's see you smile after I throw up on your shoes…"

* * *

Besides a bit of seasickness, the trip across the stretch of sea was uneventful. The weather was on their side, it was sunny enough that the cold, hard wind from behind them didn't seem too cold. They were making good time as well, Jonah had estimated that they'd be at the island late in the following afternoon, but it was well before noon when Zack, in the bow with Jammy, first saw land. A few hours later, they reached the sandy beach of the largest southern island. With its nearby sisters, it was as large as the continent of Wutai, but the weather was considerably warmer and more humid. The seaside air was cool; the humidity only hit them once they reached the forest surrounding the village of Mideel.

"Zack…" Cloud caught up with the fighter, walking ahead of the others with Jonah, who had decided to come along to see some old friends. The old fisherman nodded at the spellcaster and walked on while Zack slowed down to walk beside the blond. Aeris and her mother were a bit behind them, sometimes almost out of sight. The women were so excited about all the flowers and plants around them, they often stopped to examine and smell them. Jammy was running around the forest by herself, they could occasionally hear a loud, happy wark and the sound of smaller birds taking into the air.

"What's up, Cloud?" the fighter asked, grinning. Cloud had not said one word to him after they'd started the boat trip. Come to think of it, he hadn't really said anything to anyone, just glared at them and at their enthusiasm over the sea voyage.

"I was thinking. We're staying in Mideel?"

"Yeah, I figured so. At least a while, until things cool down with ShinRa."

"Well, my old roommate, Josin, he's from Mideel. Maybe he could bring the photos and other things here."

"Hey, good idea. I'll give master Ranael a call once we get settled somewhere."

"All right." Cloud nodded and fell back into his own little world. Zack smirked. He was quickly learning how much fun it was to poke the blond out of it. Just like with Seph.

"Good to see you're not pissed about the boat trip anymore." The fighter said and gave the surprised-looking Cloud his sunniest, brightest smile. Cloud glared.

"Oh, I am. And I'll get you back for it, don't doubt it." With an air of injured pride, Cloud marched past him and even past Jonah, following the jungle path towards the town. Zack just laughed quietly.

Despite the path, the walk through the jungle was neither easy nor fast. They had reached the island ahead of schedule, but it was still almost nightfall when they reached the small town. The occupants were mostly elderly people, there to enjoy their retirement, the hot springs and the warmth. There were some younger people, those who ran the shops, the spa's and other businesses, and their children. And most importantly, ShinRa had no true power or interest over the place. They were perfectly capable warming their own water with the mako energy, they didn't need hot springs.

Jonah went to stay with a friend of his, and the others decided to spend the night at the inn. It was too late in the evening to go looking for a more permanent place to stay. But it wasn't too late to take a dip into the warm springs, to wash off the salt from the sea.

* * *

The next morning Zack, Aeris and Elmyra set out to find a small cottage or an apartment that they could stay in for a while. It would be easier and, in the long run, cheaper than the inn, which only had a few rooms anyway. Cloud opted to stay behind, and the fighter had left him with the task of calling one of the masters. Something Cloud was not looking forward to, but he figured that he'd better just get it done. And since Ranael was the only one whose number was programmed into the PHS, he ended up calling the fighter.

The master answered after a moment, and after dismissing the pupil he was with, gave Cloud his undivided attention.

"I'm just letting you know that we've left Midgar, and are now in a safe place." The spellcaster said, not wanting to give the town's name over the PHS. The master seemed to agree to this as he didn't query further.

""That's good to know."" A pause. ""Strife, how are you?""

Cloud shrugged. He had never really known Ranael, he had taken only a few classes under the master. "I don't know. Sir… Zack said that… in the desert…"

""Ah, yes, the photos. There were other things in the bag as well. We presumed they're your possessions.""

Cloud sat down on the bed he'd slept in, his knees suddenly weak. It took a moment before he managed to open his mouth again. "Zack also said that someone could take them to us."

The master fell silent, probably wondering how it could be arranged.

"My old roommate Josin could bring them over next time he comes home to visit." Cloud suggested, looking out of the window of the small room.

""Ah, well, I'm sure we can manage something. Do you need anything else?""

"Zack has some things he wanted, I'll tell him to call you."

""All right. Strife… it's good to know you're alive, and well.""

"Thank you, sir. Goodbye."

""Goodbye.""

Cloud closed the PHS and tossed it to Zack's bed, on the other side of the room. With a sigh, he fell to his side on the bed, head missing the pillow by an inch. He had always been uncomfortable with phones and PHS's, not having gotten used to them as a child. Nothing like that in little Nibelheim. Not for people as poor as he was.

He closed his eyes and fought back the sudden lump in his throat. Suddenly, in that small inn room, far away from everything he'd known, everything familiar, he missed home. The cold air, the mountains, his mother's smile, his dead father, so tall and strong, and his dead brother, the coolest person ever. But most of all…

"Summons, Seph… I miss you so much…"

**-x-x-x-**

It was so early in the morning that the stars and the large moon were still visible in the sky over northern Wutai. The air was cold, despite it being springtime. Cloud yawned and stretched, shivering a little in the small tent. Why was it so cold? He turned over to Sephiroth, only to realize the man wasn't there. That woke him up quickly. He couldn't bear thinking that there could ever be a time when the older man wouldn't be beside him when he woke up.

Struggling to get out of his sleeping bag, he did hear soft humming. When he managed to get up, he realized that he was quite naked. Blushing, even though there was no one around to see him, except for Seph, of course, and he'd certainly seen the spellcaster naked often enough, Cloud picked up a richly decorated Wutaian scarf and tied it to his waist. It had been a gift from Sephiroth's mother.

Once he got out of the tent, Cloud could see Sephiroth standing near a ledge with a beautiful view of the soon-to-be rising sun. He was putting up his camera on a tripod, standing in the cold wearing only a scarf around his waist as well. The general was fond of his little toy, even if he didn't use it often. Cloud still thought that he himself had been captured into the tiny box a few times too many. But what wouldn't he do for Sephiroth?

"Morning!" Sephiroth called out when he heard the smaller blond yawning his way over to him. Cloud gave him a glare and a quick kiss, shivering in the cold wind.

"More like night…"

"Come over here… I think I finally got the timer working." Sephiroth pulled the spellcaster to the view of the camera, and grabbed him into a hug from behind. Cloud struggled a bit, just for show; he didn't really mind the warmth of the chest he was leaning against, the shivers the contact of naked skin on just as naked skin caused in him. Even if the chilling wind found its way into the folds of his makeshift skirt.

"Smile now. I want to catch the sunrise."

"You mean we have to stand here for two more hours?"

"Shush. It's morning already."

Cloud sighed and closed his eyes. The camera was ticking quietly, but didn't actually take the picture for several seconds. Cloud had just opened one eye to see if it was even on when the light blinked and Sephiroth gave out a small laugh.

"Great, it worked."

"Woo." Cloud muttered, a little less enthusiastic. He did smile when he watched his lover fuss over the camera, wrapping it into a protecting cloth and taking apart the tripod. The sun was just about to rise when the general remembered the spellcaster, and with a big smile came over to wrap the shivering youth into his arms. He was humming again, and Cloud recognized the song. It was the general's favourite 'love song', and they'd done this often enough that Cloud remembered the words as well. They started to dance slowly in the sunrise, Sephiroth singing quietly to his lover, and Cloud answering.

"_Will you remember the dress I wore?"_

"If you mean this one, yeah…"

"_Will you remember my face?"_

"How could I forget?"

"_Will you remember the lipstick I wore?"_

"I do remember WHERE you wore it..."

"_This world is a wonderful place."_

"Without you, it would be empty."

"_Will you remember the black limousine?"_

"No."

"_Will you remember champagne?"_

"Obviously, no."

"_Will you remember the things that we've seen?"_

"I'll try."

"_I will return here again."_

"Me too."

"_Will you remember the flowers in my hand?"_

"... yes."

"_Will you remember my hair?"_

"Who could forget?"

"_Will you remember the future we planned?"_

"Yes..."

"_The world is not waiting out there."_

"…" Cloud never knew what to say to that one. With Sephiroth by his side, the world seemed wide open. The general smiled and kissed him on the forehead, spinning them around before the final.

"_I won't remember the dress I wore,"_

"... you made ME wear the dress..."

"_I won't remember champagne,"_

"... you weren't that drunk..."

"_I won't remember the things that we swore,"_

"I will."

"_I will just love you in vain."_

"I'll love you too. For ever. And ever."

"_Will you remember?"_

"I'll try."

"_Will you recall?"_

"I hope so..."

As Sephiroth's voice fell quiet, their spinning slowed as well, and the general, laughing quietly, fell to the dewy grass, pulling the spellcaster along, to lay down on his chest. Cloud just shook his head, laughing as well, and kissed the man he loved.

**-x-x-x-**

"Goooooood morning, sunshine! Or should I say good noon?"

Cloud woke to see Zack's grinning face mere inches from his own. He shot up with a startled scream. To the fighter's fortune, he'd already moved away from the blond.

"What the hell?" Cloud screeched.

"Sorry, I couldn't resist it. You look really cute when you sleep, you know." The fighter said, smiling disarmingly. When Cloud just stared at him, his expression unreadable, Zack scratched his neck and let out a nervous laugh. "Uh sorry. But good news, we found this small place, and it's perfect! There's a kitchen, a living-room, two bedrooms and an attic. And a bathroom, of course. It's pretty close to one of the hot springs, and a bit away from the town so it'll be peaceful and did you call the masters?"

"Uh, yeah, I did. You'll have to call Ranael to let him know what you need. Josin's probably gonna bring the things over when he gets a holiday."

"Great, great. So the landlord says we can move in anytime. We gotta pay rent, that's the downside, but I figured that we could be mercenaries, you and me. Take out the monsters around town. Bodyguards. All that jazz. We can stay here as long as we feel like it. Although Elmyra was talking like she could live here the rest of her life. Why not, I mean, it's a nice place. Kinda slow, but I'm a man of action anyway. Could you stop glaring at me like that?"

"Could you stop talking?"

Zack grinned and sat down on his bed, looking at the blond. "Sorry. I just… got nervous. Or excited. I'll just call the master, ok?"

"Whatever." Cloud lay down on his back and closed his eyes again, hoping he could slip back into the dream. Zack sighed and picked up the PHS. He didn't know how he could have said the truth. That the spellcaster was making him so nervous. He could get along with all kinds of people. It was his job, damn it! But Cloud… sometimes the blond was so…Zack didn't even have a word for it. Secretive? Lost? Angry? Closed up?

"Are you gonna call him or stare at the wall?" Cloud asked, startling Zack out of his thoughts.

"Oh. Yeah." Annoyed. That was a good word. Zack was about to go as far as to say annoying, but he couldn't. Not with what he knew of the things that had happened to the spellcaster. That probably explained it. It was the first time he'd dealt with the lover of his best friend, whose death was such a mystery.

With a sigh, the fighter dialed and proceeded to give a list and description of things he needed.

* * *

The year was almost over before there was a knock on the door of their little 'home'.

They had settled in easily during the few months; Aeris and Elmyra had taken the two small bedrooms, and the men shared the attic. With a loan from Jonah and the money Zack and Cloud made as mercenaries, they had little by little managed to buy the furniture and other things they needed. Aeris and Elmyra both did little jobs around the town, and Elmyra was gaining reputation as a good seamstress. It had been a matter of days before the house was surrounded by all kinds of flowers, both inside and out. The soil was fertile, and with so many flowers, Aeris didn't sell them just one at a time; she was learning how to make beautiful arrangements.

Living in such a small house, they had all gotten to know each other better. Even Cloud had relaxed around the others, even if he was still quiet and morose. But as time passed and fighting the monsters gave him less and less time to dwell on the fact that he still couldn't remember, he seemed to be doing better.

And then came the day when there was that knock on the door. It was quite early in the morning, so all four were still at home.

"I'll get it, it's probably about the roses!" Aeris called out and ran to the door, expecting to see a customer of hers. Instead, there was a tall, redheaded young man, smiling down at her. Just for a split second, when she only saw the red hair, Aeris thought that the Turks had found them. But the friendly smile was clearly not Reno's. "Oh, good morning. Can I help you?"

"Good morning," the man said and bowed, "I'm looking for Cloud, is this the right house?"

"Yes, come on in." Aeris said, a bit unsure. She knew that Cloud's old friend was coming over at some point, but had no idea if this was him or someone else. She didn't even know all the townspeople yet. "Cloud! There's someone here to see you!"

Aeris closed the door and listened to the footsteps form the attic. Zack, eating a piece of toast, peeked out from the small kitchen and smiled when he saw the young man.

"Hey man. Long time no see."

Josin smiled and gave him a small bow as well. "Zack. You know, some of the masters are still mad at you. And they'd like to talk with you."

"I'm sure they would…" Zack grimaced and came to clasp hands with the man. About then Cloud reached the downstairs, and stopped in his tracks when he saw his old roommate.

"Hey Cloud. You're looking good." Josin said with a smile. The blond blinked at him.

"You too."

Aeris and Zack stood side by side, watching the two spellcasters stare at each other a bit unsurely. "I think we better give them some privacy." Zack whispered to the flower girl loud enough that Elmyra, in her bedroom across the hall could hear it. Cloud blushed and walked over to give Josin an awkward hug while the two left them alone. The blond then guided his guest to the living room.

"So. I take it this guy's from the Peacemakers?" Aeris asked when she and Zack had futilely tried to listen in on the conversation all the way from the kitchen. The fighter nodded, smiling.

"Yeah, that's him."

"And he's here to bring Cloud the things from the desert?"

Zack only nodded. They were both concerned for Cloud, not knowing how he'd react to the photographs. They could help him to remember, but what would he remember?

The fighter and the flower girl had become quite good friends during the past few months. They'd realised that even though they came from such different worlds, they were surprisingly similar, and got along well. The two often stayed up long into the warm night, just talking.

Aeris's customer soon came for the roses, and she and Elmyra left to town before Cloud and Josin emerged from the living room. The taller spellcaster was just saying that he was going to go and see his parents when Zack popped into the hall from upstairs, having heard their voices. Josin was already at the door, and the two were promising to meet again before he'd have to leave.

Zack waved goodbye with a sunny smile before coming to peek over Cloud's shoulder. The spellcaster was holding the small bag Josin had brought him. It was closed, and Zack suspected that Cloud had yet not opened it at all.

"Yo." The fighter said when Cloud hadn't moved for a few moments. The blond started and turned to him.

"Oh yeah, he brought your things as well. They're in the living room."

"Great. So, did you open it yet?"

"No. I… I'm afraid to. But I want to. But…"

"There's no rush. When you're ready." Zack said and hugged Cloud from behind. The blond nodded, his taller spikes tickling Zack's face. "Come on, let's see what I got."

Zack had requested to get far more than just the letters from Sephiroth. The bag had some clothes, a few books, a stuffed toy chocobo and even music tapes in it. Cloud almost smiled, looking at the man turned child when Zack gleefully went through the things, introducing the plush golden chocobo as Goldie.

"Your power of imagination is amazing." Cloud said dryly. He was still clutching the bag in his hands. Zack blew him a raspberry just as the front door opened, and the two women came home. It was afternoon already, so Zack and Aeris started to cook together, something they also enjoyed doing, while Elmyra started sewing some clothes. Cloud looked through Zack's old books, shaking his head at the doodles on the edges of the pages. Zack had told him that he was free to read the letters, but Cloud didn't dare to touch them yet.

Later in the evening, after Zack had gone with Jammy to kill some monsters, all four were gathered in the living room. Zack had practically demanded that he wanted to play some of his old music tapes to them. Fearing the worst, the others had still agreed, and were pleasantly surprised when the music started with a piano intro instead of the horrible screaming they had expected, knowing Zack's tastes.

The gentle music had almost rocked them to sleep when Cloud suddenly pushed the small bag he'd been toying with into Zack's hands. The fighter sat up, looking curiously at the spellcaster.

"I can't take it anymore. But I don't dare to open it. You do it." Cloud said quietly. The fighter nodded, and without a word started to pull its strings open. Aeris and Elmyra exchanged a wary look.

The first thing Zack pulled out was an envelope. He opened it to find the photos, which he handed over to Cloud, trying not to look at the top one unless the blond would show it to him. Peeking inside, he then dug out a few materia and some Wutaian coins. That was all the bag held.

Cloud stared at the photographs while the fighter fiddled with two materia, stealing glances at him, clearly not knowing how to approach the subject of the photos. Opposite them, Aeris and Elmyra also tried not to stare too pointedly.

Eventually the blond let out a long sigh and lifted the pictures up to see them better. His eyes were emotionless, not betraying in any way the storm that must have raged inside him.

"These... these are from the war." He flipped through ten or so of the photos, handing them to Zack one by one. The fighter nodded, paying a bit more attention to them before passing them on. They were just pictures of the troops and barracks, and the area they had fought in at that time.

Cloud handed another one to Zack and froze, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. "Oh..."

"What is it?" the fighter asked before catching his tongue. Aeris tried not to be too obvious whilst stretching her neck to catch even a glimpse across the table between them.

Surprisingly enough, Cloud answered. "It's... it must have been close to the end of the war. Before... the last few attacks." He passed it to Zack who couldn't help but smile a little, especially when he noticed how Cloud blushed even more at the next one.

The picture the fighter held was of Sephiroth and Cloud. It seemed to have been taken on a warm spring or summer day, at the war zone, although there was grass behind them. Sephiroth was sitting on a wooden box, his long hair in a ponytail, wearing army trousers and boots, and a black, sleeveless Wutaian shirt with a red dragon embroided on it. He was smiling lightly and looking up at the standing spellcaster. Cloud was only wearing green trousers, a belt and several bangles for materia, even in his hair. He seemed somewhat annoyed at being caught like this, with his arm almost possessively over Sephiroth's shoulder, the other hand holding a knife.

Zack smiled and gave the photo to Elmyra. She and Aeris both let out small gasps. "Oh my… he was beautiful…" Aeris whispered. Zack nodded, and accepted the next one.

"... That must have been in Wutai, when the war was over. I think that's the room we stayed in, as Godo's guests..." the blond choked a bit, seeing the next one. Zack didn't want to watch over his shoulder, so he took the offered photo and smiled.

It was clearly taken by Sephiroth, considering that it showed Cloud fast asleep, all tangled up in bed sheets. And naked. Nothing showed, though, the blond was sleeping on his stomach, the sheet covering most of his body but showing just enough to make one curious.

Aeris smiled brightly as she looked over Elmyra's shoulder at the picture of the sleeping spellcaster, making Cloud blush more even though he seemed moved by the photo he still held. Zack moved a bit closer and cocked his head. Cloud turned the photos so that the fighter saw it better.

From the sky he guessed it was taken early in the morning, the moon still showing red just above the horizon. The sky was pale blue, the sea, filling most of the background a deep blue mixed with black. There was no sign of the land the two were standing on, facing the camera. Sephiroth's smile looked a bit wicked but happy. Zack couldn't really remember the last time he had seen the man smile so much as he smiled in these pictures.

Sephiroth's arms were wrapped around Cloud's shoulders, the smaller blond leaning against the taller one, looking a bit sleepy. They were naked except for the cloths they had tied around their waists; Cloud's was a richly decorated Wutaian one, Sephiroth's a velvety dark green plain cloth. It looked like they had just woken up.

"That's... beautiful. Where was it taken?" Zack asked quietly.

"Umm... where Sephiroth lived. We went up to the northern tip for a few days." Cloud said quietly, not looking away from his lover.

"Who took it?"

Cloud smiled at that. "Seph. He was playing with the camera, seeing how the timer worked. We must have stood there for a few minutes until it took the damned picture." He handed it to Aeris who smiled as well.

"You look a bit like you were in pain here."

"It was really early and cold. You try looking harmonious when there's a freezing wind up your skirt..." Cloud muttered, making both Zack and Aeris laugh out loud. Cloud shook his head and turned back to the next one. Blushing bright red.

"What!" Zack almost shouted, noticing the blond's discomfort. He leaned over a bit and laughed, wrapping an arm around Cloud's shoulders.

"Aaah Cloud you are so cuuuute!" The fighter cooed, laughing even when the spellcaster elbowed him in the chest.

It looked to be the same area as in the last picture, but in this one the sea and sky were both red and yellow from the sunset. Islands in the horizon were deep black. And, in front of it all posed Cloud, wearing a flower-patterned, sleeveless black and violet shirt, and long, dark-purple trousers, or maybe a skirt, the fighter couldn't tell. The hand closer to the camera was by his side, the fingers holding a red materia. The other hand held a closed paper fan, the other end of it on the blond's lips. Someone had tied his long ponytail into loops of hair, the rest falling all around his head. The look he was giving the camera was absolutely enticing. Coy but inviting.

Aeris playfully snatched the photo before Cloud could hide it. The spellcaster tried to take it back but the flower girl was leaning back on her chair, showing the picture to her mother. Both cooed at the photo as well, making Zack laugh and Cloud blush even more. Surprising that it was even possible at that point. Zack drew the blond's attention to the next picture before he went for the closest materia and annihilated them.

"What's this, then?"

Cloud just about growled but turned to look. His face went blank for a second.

Sephiroth had once again been the culprit, the picture showing Cloud on the back of a yellow chocobo. It was taken from his left side, and the spellcaster was looking ahead, his mouth open as if he was saying something. The chocobo stared straight at the camera and seemed to be smiling, if something with a beak could smile.

Behind them was sand, mountains and the sky. A desert. Zack bit his lip, guessing that it was taken not long before the two disappeared.

"I... I think it was... after the Nibel mountains... in the desert. But I can't remember clearly. I'm sorry." Cloud said quietly, frowning as he stared at the photo.

"Don't worry about it, it'll come back to you." Zack said, squeezing the blond's shoulder reassuringly. Cloud nodded and handed the photo to Aeris who had dared to come closer again.

When they saw the next one, Zack wished that he had gone through the photos before handing them to Cloud. The spellcaster paled immediately and his breathing got harder.

"Cloud? Are you all right?" Aeris asked, alarmed. The blond shook his head, hands shaking, but didn't look away from the photo.

"So…" he managed after a long while, "… this is it."

"Cloud… you don't have to look if you don't want to." Zack said quietly, but the blond shook his head.

"No. I… need to. I've waited for this so long…"

Zack just nodded, and accepted the photo quietly when Cloud handed it to him, after having stared at it for a long while. Before him was something that looked like a large hall; the photo was shaky, but he could make out the few lights in the ceiling, which looked curvy. The photo had obviously been taken from an odd angle, quickly, and probably in secret, without a flash. He couldn't make much out of it, and with Cloud so quiet, he didn't know if the spellcaster got anything out of it either. He passed the picture on when the blond gave him the next one.

This one was a bit clearer, and brighter. It showed the backs of two men, standing side by side, leaning over something. There were bright lights above them, and they were both wearing similar, light clothes. Like uniforms. Still, it didn't tell him anything he didn't already know. Master Ranael had mentioned the white coats during that one PHS conversation, back in Midgar.

The third one clearly showed some sort of a laboratory. There was a metallic operation table with bright lights above it. A black, thick line went vertically across the photo, and Zack couldn't make out what it was until he saw similar lines in the corner of the photo. Bars of a cage. He looked at Cloud from the corner of his eyes, worried what was going on inside the blond head. Aeris and her mother were quiet, not commenting on the pictures out loud.

Cloud passed him the fourth one, and gasped when he saw the next one. Zack wanted desperately to lean over his shoulder but just accepted the offered photo and tried to make out what was in it. The camera had moved whilst taking the photo, or then the object of it had moved. Hell, maybe both, Zack didn't know much about photography. White coats again, something pale between them, maybe naked flesh. Blond, spiky hair… the fighter felt a chill when he realised that he was watching two men dragging Cloud somewhere. When the next photo was shoved to him with shaky hands, he knew where.

Cloud was peering at the next photo, his nose almost pressed to it while Zack cringed at the fifth one. This one was painfully clear. Cloud, in one of the cages, small enough that he had to be curled up to fit in. Enraged, the fighter barely heard the spellcaster mutter.

"What?"

"ShinRa." Cloud said louder and gave him the sixth photo, leaving him with just one. He pointed at a spot in a photo showing large wooden crates, with the ShinRa logo painted on them. It wasn't too clear, but there was no one in the world who wouldn't recognize it immediately.

Zack nodded grimly. "But it isn't necessarily them; they do send shit out to everywhere in the world."

"Not Wutai. And I don't think Seph would have wasted film on it unless it was important." The blond turned his attention to the last photo, and paled. "Shit."

This time, Zack just leaned over his shoulder after having passed the photo on to Aeris and Elmyra. The last photo was clear, not the clearest one, but steady and bright. It was easy to make out the man standing in it, even if he had his back to the camera. He was looking over his white-clad left shoulder, at something on the level of his eyes. Bespectacled eyes. He had a long, black ponytail falling over the back of the coat, which was, Zack only now realised, spattered with blood.

The man was smiling.

"Shark teeth…" Cloud muttered quietly.

"What an ugly fucker…" Zack muttered, figuring out that this was the man behind it all. Sephiroth wouldn't have taken a picture of him if he was just an ordinary stooge. He looked at the photo briefly when Cloud gave it to him, and passed it to Aeris. He wanted to ask Cloud if he'd remembered anything, but the hopeless look on the blond's face was answer enough. The fighter just wrapped a consoling arm around his shoulders, and Cloud actually let himself be hugged.

"I… I know this man." Aeris said quietly, staring at the photo, frowning. Elmyra leaned over her shoulder, and Zack looked up.

"It's professor Hojo. ShinRa's scientist." The older woman said immediately. "I've seen him in the news."

"Yes, but…" Aeris shook her head, "I feel like… I've seen him before. In person. Doesn't make sense, but… feels so real." She looked up at Cloud, puzzled. "What on earth does this mean?"

The blond had no answer.

**-x-x-x-**

The battle was over, but neither side was any closer to victory. Luckily only a few lives had been lost on Wutai's side, and only a handful had been hurt bad enough not to be able to fight for a while. ShinRa's troops weren't much larger in number, but they were larger, and every life counted in the war against them.

As always, Sephiroth checked the wounded and the dead, the weapons and their provisions, talked with the men and started to plan the next attack or defense. But this time, on top of it all, was the feeling of those shy lips on his. Shy, soft lips, pressing to his, leaving a hint of their taste behind, the short but powerful body that carried the lips around, the blue eyes above them-

"Focus, Sephiroth, focus..." the general muttered to himself, hoping that no one would mention his very obvious blush. He squeezed his eyes shut but that only brought up the image of the young spellcaster turning towards him to his mind all the clearer. Camui gave him an odd look but knew better than to comment on her superior's strange behaviour.

"All right." Sephiroth opened his eyes and surveyed the bunker around him. The wounded were resting on the far side of the cramped space, and the soldiers who weren't on guard duty or in the smaller bunkers were either resting or chatting quietly. The general cleared his throat and received everyone's attention. Even that of a short, blond spellcaster. For a moment he forgot what he was going to say, and could swear that Camui was trying hard not to laugh by his side. "Right! Right. Well done, everyone. As usual. We didn't gain ground this time, but neither did ShinRa. We lost a few of our comrades, but their souls will return to our beloved land and protect us and those who wait back home, those who will restore Wutai and keep it alive even if we do not live to see it. ShinRa lost more, and they must understand by now that we will not give up! If the President is smart, he will call off this futile war and justice will happen. If not, we'll take back what is our and keep it. Now get some rest, those of you not on duty. Grub will be served as soon as we've dug at least half of the sand out of it."

His last words got a few laughs, and the men and women relaxed a bit. Camui squeezed her general's shoulder and went to check on the preparation of the food, leaving Sephiroth alone in the middle of the bunker. The ceiling was so low that his head almost reached it, and in most places he had to bow not to bang his head on the beams. He concentrated on those so that he wouldn't lose his courage as he made his way across to where Cloud was using his healing spells to aid the weary healer.

The general stopped a few feet from the blond, not wanting to disturb the spell the man was weaving. The healer looked up and smiled slightly, holding one thumb up to show that everything was under control here. Sephiroth nodded and cleared his throat when Cloud sighed, his spell done.

"Strife, when you're done here, please report to my office, all right?"

Blue eyes blinked, surprised, but the spellcaster nodded before turning back to the wounded. Sephiroth could have sworn that the youth was blushing.

His office, which doubled as his private chamber, was at the bunker on the other end of the trench from this one. On his way Sephiroth stopped to talk briefly with the guards, relieved to hear that ShinRa seemed to be busy licking their wounds.

Once in his room, Sephiroth finally stripped out of his armour and kicked off his boots, falling heavily on the unmade bed. He didn't much bother with keeping his room tip top, there were more important things to consider than what his living space might look like to others. He realized he was more tired than he had thought, and hungry. And desperately in need of a shower. His whole army was desperately in need of a shower. And food, of course. And rest. The war was killing the land, in every way possible. Still, those worries weren't enough to keep him awake now that his body had fallen to a horizontal position. His eyes slid shut, and the general fell asleep.

He knew that he hadn't slept long when he heard the very faint squeak of the door opening. Keeping his eyes closed, Sephiroth quickly thought who it might be. Camui always knocked loud enough to wake him if he was asleep, and the messengers and most soldiers first knocked and then informed themselves before entering. Then he remembered that he had requested Strife to come to his office, and decided to keep his eyes shut and pretend to be asleep for a while longer. This could be interesting, and he was still a bit embarrassed about last night, even though the spellcaster had returned the gesture.

If anything, Strife was quiet. Sephiroth heard the door close and had to strain his ears to hear the youth move. There was a faint squeak he knew came from the chair next to the door, and figured that the blond had sat down. How disappointing, the general thought and hoped that he wasn't blushing again. That would ruin his cover... 'Arrgh what childish thoughts!' the man chided himself, realizing that he had never acted this way before. He didn't usually blush, or fake sleep. He wouldn't let one of his 'underlings' see him sleep, he would never leave himself so vulnerable. Why was he acting like this? Like a silly teenager in love for the-

Oh. Oh... uh oh.

Sephiroth's eyes flew open and he stared at the ceiling for a good ten seconds, until Strife cleared his throat. The general of the Wutai army turned his head towards the blond and stared, well, frankly, like an idiot. He could see the confusion and the nervous twitch in the younger man, the slightly raised eyebrow, but he couldn't say anything.

"Umm... sorry, sir, I didn't mean to wake you. I did knock, but there was no answer, so I let myself in. I thought you weren't here, and then when I saw you I thought I'd wait for a while and..."

A silence descended on them, and their eyes traveled to look at anything besides the other one.

"Uh... you could have woken me up, you know." Sephiroth attempted and decided that it would be a good idea to sit up. That made Strife jump in his seat and squirm.

"Umm. I figured you'd be tired."

"Yes, I was, but I requested to see you, and... well, I don't want to keep anyone waiting."

"It's all right, sir, I don't mind."

Sephiroth couldn't think of anything else utterly stupid to say, and fell quiet. Damn it, they had been getting along well before he'd been stupid enough to kiss the shorter blond. Not talking much, but comfortable around each other. Not that they were talking much right now either, but they had never been this uncomfortable!

"All right." Sephiroth finally decided to take the bull by the horns, as sitting around wouldn't get them anywhere. "I wanted to talk to you about a certain something. Namely last night. I... I was way out of line, and I shouldn't have kissed you. Um, not that I regret the kiss in itself, that was quite enjoyable, but I am your superior, in a way, and what I did I did without your consent. Damn it. It's easier to send men to their deaths than think about relationships... I'm sorry, I hope you can still continue to fight for our cause, even though I've acted like an ass." He had no idea how Strife would react to his words, and right now he didn't even have the guts to look up to the younger man. He just hoped that this situation would be over soon so that he could bury his head underneath his pillow and die of shame. He knew Strife enough that the man wouldn't go around spreading word that the general had kissed him, but this was still embarrassing as hell.

And worse than that, if he really was falling for the spellcaster, he'd have to deal with a broken heart as well.

He could hear the chair squeak as Strife moved a bit. He could also hear the soft murmur of the men in the bunker on the other side of the door, and the sound of his own heart as it beat strong enough to break out of his chest. He was sure Strife heard it as well, and wondered if the guards would mistake it as ShinRa attacking. No, they were smarter than that. What a stupid thing to think.

His brain was still somewhere on the battlefield and didn't even realize that his mouth was working again. "But I have to ask... why did you kiss me this morning?"

Sephiroth didn't know what to expect as an answer, and still didn't dare to look up. The chair had stopped its squeaking, meaning that Strife was either sitting very still or had dropped dead of shock.

"... Well, sir... last night, after you kissed me... I thought. A lot. And I figured, that either, or both of us, well, tomorrow we might be dead. So I kissed you back. Because I liked it. I don't know much about these things, I'm better with swords and spells. A few weeks ago, I wouldn't have said anything like this, or kissed you, but then I truly realized, once here, that death may come anytime. I may be dead tomorrow, so what I do today won't matter anymore. So I did something I thought I'd never dare, and... well, kissed you. You might like it, you might hate it, but it would be done, and dared. I could die knowing that I'd dared to do something, dared to show my feelings, dared to take a chance, even if nothing would follow it."

Sephiroth could feel his ears and cheeks burn, and was thankful that the room was quite dark. He was relieved that Strife didn't seem to hate him, but the man's indifference was even more hurtful. "So you didn't kiss me because you felt something for me, you just did it... to prove something to yourself?" the general asked quietly, eyes still fixed on the floor between his legs, heart pounding and cheeks flushed. Later he'd blame his loud heart for not hearing, not realizing that Strife had stood up and walked towards him.

Two hands suddenly appeared to his line of sight, and moved to hold the sides of his face. They tilted his head up, and Sephiroth realized he was staring into a pair of bright blue eyes, bent down to his eye-level. Then the eyes closed, and soft, cool lips pressed against his again. Only, this time they remained there for blissfully long seconds that stretched into almost a minute.

"I don't remember saying anything like that. I'm just saying that I learned to... seize the day last night." Strife whispered, their mouths still almost against each other. Sephiroth's eyes were closed, but he didn't want to open them, the sensation of those lips, those words was too much and he feared he'd shatter it if he'd move now.

"Well, Strife... Cloud. You certainly seized my day..." he eventually muttered and realized that his hands had, at some point, risen to the younger man's hips, and were holding him there. Cloud's hands were on his shoulders, the thin fingers running through his hair. Sephiroth opened his eyes slightly, just enough to see where those cool lips had disappeared. Cloud was watching him, smiling slightly, and didn't object when Sephiroth claimed his lips and pulled the smaller man closer.

**-x-x-x-**

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**A.N: **I thought it was time for Seph to be the one making a fool of himself, or thinking he had done so...

This chapter was kind of…sketchy, I suppose. I had most of it written and ready years ago, and wrote the rest as the first bits when I picked the story up again. Hopefully the next one will be better.

The song used in this chapter is _Will you remember_ by the Cranberries, a song that has gone hand in hand with this fic from the beginning.

The phrase "You try looking harmonious when there's a freezing wind up your skirt" is and has always been my favourite line in this whole damn story. XD

Answers to reviews:

Beatrisu: Thank you so much for the compliments, I'm really glad this silly story has helped, even if a bit. Writing it (or anything, really) always has a cheering effect on me. And concerning Sephiroth, I'm afraid he was slain quite efficiently. Can't say more of it yet, a few more chapters and things will be remembered. :D

Sorceress Fantasia, scarlettHuntress, thank you for your wonderful reviews as well! They really make me write faster and inspire me!


	9. Chapter 8: Remembering

Why is it that every scene that involves sex that I've written is either disturbing or someone is going nuts? So that's a fair warning to you: a scene involving nudity and at least mentions of sex coming up! (And about time, too!) Between who, I'm not telling. Ha ha! You have to read for yourselves.

Proceed at your own discretion.

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**Chapter Eight**

**Remembering**

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"I honestly don't know how we managed to say all those things, now that I look back on it. I don't know how I had the balls to even go into his office, not to mention open my mouth. Maybe it was because of the war. People were dying left and right, and we knew that come next battle, it might be either of us. I guess that did it." Cloud finished with a shrug and turned back to Zack, who was smiling and wiping a tear from his eye. The blond frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing... that was just so unbelievably cute! You know, I can just SEE Seph squirming, thinking he's made a fool of himself. Not that I've ever seen him like that, but I can just see it now!" The fighter laughed merrily, and Cloud had to smile, too. He couldn't remember seeing the general flustered like that on any other occasion. His smile faded soon, though, when he realized that he could already think about Sephiroth and feel feelings other than sorrow. It wasn't a sad thought in itself, but he somehow felt he was betraying his dead lover by not missing him more.

'But I will miss you, forever. I'll never love anyone quite like I love you.' The blond sighed and turned to catch up with Zack, who was humming happily now as he dug open the flower patch in front of the small house.

"Aren't you done with that yet? I promised Aeris we'd have the garden ready before they get back."

"Slave driver. I'm almost done anyway!"

The year had turned into a new one barely two months ago, but the weather in Mideel was as warm as a summer day in the north. It was almost a year now after the end of the latest Wutai-ShinRa war, and so far peace had reigned. There had been news, even in Mideel, of ShinRa's army growing again. Cloud and Zack had started to wonder if they should leave, in case the Peacemakers needed them. Master Ranael had confirmed the rumours, and promised to contact them if they were needed.

Even if they didn't know for sure that there'd even be a new war, the two felt like they had to get ready to leave. The feeling seemed to cast a kind of a deadline on certain things. Like the feelings growing between Zack and Aeris, and the acknowledging of said emotions. Neither could point out when their friendship had grown into something more, but there certainly was something. Neither had said it out loud, either. Not to each other, or anyone else. Which puzzled at least Zack. He had always considered himself a pretty straightforward guy, one who wouldn't be scared to open his mouth, to speak the truth. And suddenly, talking with his new best friend seemed almost impossible with all the butterflies in his stomach. Elmyra always seemed to give him a knowing kind of smile, when their eyes happened to meet. Cloud was probably completely oblivious to the whole thing, Zack presumed. He loved the spellcaster dearly, but he had to admit that the blond tended to be less than observant about other people's emotions. Not that he didn't care, not at all. He just didn't seem to be aware of them.

But Cloud had been in love. Zack didn't dare to ask Elmyra for advice, and even though he had befriended half of the village, this was too personal to be shared with them. The blond would have to help him.

…telling Cloud that his best friend was in love with his other best friend? Easier said than done. They still tread carefully around Cloud and his emotions, even though Zack realized that treating the spellcaster somehow differently than other people wasn't the best of solutions. But the blond still seemed so heartbroken most of the time. The photos had not triggered his memory, not really. He had had more dreams about his past than before, but nothing that he truly remembered once he woke. Nothing that helped. He seemed to be stuck in the same state of mind he had been in ever since Zack had met him, even if the blond had lately proved that he was capable of smiling. That was a sight Zack wouldn't forget in a hurry.

The quest to figure out what had happened in the desert had moved along, if only ever so slightly. It had turned out that one of the doctors in the village, specializing in Mako poisonings, had once studied for a brief time under the professor they had determined to be the bad guy of the story. Hojo.

Not surprisingly, Zack had initiated the conversation. He and Cloud had been out in the woods killing monsters, and had come across rather a nasty one. Cloud, throwing his spells from afar, had survived the scuffle in one piece, but Zack had received nasty cuts in his legs. Aeris had patched him up nicely, but scars had remained. The fighter had showed them off one day at the small shop, to scare some kids from going too deep into the jungle, and the doctor had also seen them. They had started talking, and the conversation had somehow gone to Midgar, and to the professor.

"So apparently, surprise surprise, Hojo's never been nominated for the Best Teacher –award. More like Mr. Asshole –award." Zack told Cloud later that day when they were walking in the jungle, after a group of flower prongs that had been coming too close to the village for comfort.

"Well duh." Cloud said and rolled his eyes. And blushed immediately. Zack almost fell to the ground, he was laughing so hard. "It's your fault," the blond muttered, "you and your TV-shows."

"So, anyway," Zack continued once he could walk again, "everyone hates him, he's so creepy. But he's really smart, so they also respect him. You know the Soldiers, the guys with Mako in them? Yeah, well he's the guy who started the whole program. And he apparently works for the President himself. So he's big, and he's dangerous. He's got labs all around the place, but no one besides him and his underlings know where. The Prez doesn't either. So, I'm thinking, that you two probably got too close to one of his labs, and he took you as guinea pigs."

"Could be…" Cloud was muttering. He still couldn't remember the time they'd been captives, but he did grow uneasy every time the topic came up. His body seemed to remember, even if his mind was reluctant. Knowing what he now did, he had started to wonder if he even wanted to remember anymore. If it would have been just him, he could have happily forgotten everything. But Sephiroth… he couldn't let go of the matter until he knew what had happened to the silver-haired man.

"Shh. I think I hear them." Zack's whisper stopped him, and the spellcaster got ready to fry the monsters.

* * *

The monsters had been fairly easy to kill with their tried and true method; Zack would attack them head on while Cloud stayed in the back, throwing his spells. When he was out of useful ones, he'd pick up his sword and join the fight, if there still was a fight. It reminded him so much of the war, which, for some reason, made him feel comfortable. It was like wearing the clothes that suited you best.

He wasn't meant to live like this, in quiet and peace. Fighting, battles, action, that's where he felt most comfortable. All the relaxing and inaction of Mideel was, even though nice, also nerve-wrecking. Cloud could tell Zack was starting to feel it too. They knew of the trouble brewing with ShinRa, and knew that they could be useful there.

The fight had been fairly easy, but also sweaty. It was late evening already, but they decided to head to the closest hot spring to wash off the sweat and mud.

"You know… speaking of Hojo, I've been wondering… how do you suppose Aeris knows him? I mean, if she's really met him before, like she thinks?" Zack suddenly said out loud, startling Cloud, as he usually did.

"I don't know. She can't remember it herself."

"Hmh. There's way too much forgetfulness going around when it comes to that asshole. I don't like it." The fighter mused, his whole appearance uncharacteristically dark. Cloud could only agree. But there seemed to be no answers to their many questions unless they got a hold of Hojo himself.

They soon reached the springs, and immediately got rid of their muddy clothes and got into the warm water. Cloud still wasn't too keen on letting people see his scars, but at least now his friends knew where he'd gotten them. He knew it himself, finally. Still, he stayed in the water up to his chin, trying to relax. The fighter swam around the large spring a few times, and dived deeper to get the mud out of his hair. Some minutes later, he returned to the spellcaster and sat beside him.

"Umm, Cloud…" Zack started again, this time uncharacteristically shy. "I, ah… I kinda need your advice on something, seeing as you… know about these things."

The blond slowly opened his eyes. He'd almost been drifting asleep, the water was so warm. "What is it?"

"I, umm, I… uh…"

This was uncommon. Zack was at a loss for words. Cloud wished he had a camera.

"Just spit it out."

"Well, umm, I think… IthinkIlikeAeris. THAT way. I mean, really like her. Not just like 'Oh yeah, she's hot', but like, you know, I want to make her happy. Not see her sad. Like that. I mean, she IS hot, but she's so much more than that as well."

Cloud, if he could have thought clearly, would have been happy that he did not have a camera, for his own expression right then must have been priceless. "You **what**?"

Birds took into the air, startled by the sudden shout. Zack cringed and almost cowered.

"I know she's like a sister to you, but geeze! It's not that horrible, is it?" Zack said, trying to laugh but not managing it too well. He'd known that Cloud wouldn't take it too well, at least in the beginning.

The blond glared at him for a moment, but forced himself to take a few deep breaths. No, it wasn't 'that horrible'. He'd just had no idea. And he suspected that this wasn't a new thing, but he still hadn't had any idea.

"…you needed some advice?" Cloud muttered, staring into the jungle. Zack sighed with relief and nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, what should I do? I think she likes me as well. But, what if… what if we do something, it doesn't work out, and our friendship is ruined? I don't want that. And if we gotta leave soon… but if I don't at least try, I'll just keep wondering about it, and drive myself nuts."

"…and how do you figure I can help with this?" Cloud asked, completely flustered.

"Well, you've been in love."

"…" Cloud didn't know what to say. He wanted his friends to be happy, he knew they deserved it. But he also felt hurt. It wasn't anything out of his pocket if others were happy, he was well aware of that, but… it made him feel so alone.

And he really had no idea what to tell Zack. "I… really don't know. Sorry. If you feel like it, you just have to risk it, I guess."

"That's what you did with Seph."

"Yeah, but I guess it was different."

"Not too different…"

Cloud just sighed, and waved angrily at a fleet of mosquitoes. "This time last year, it was the last weeks of the war. We were fighting so hard, every day. And every night, we'd… Seph and I… shit, I'm so horny. And it feels bad."

Zack snickered. "Sorry. I know how you feel, though. About the horny part, at least. But why do you feel bad?"

"Because…" Cloud frowned and blushed. "None of this leaves this place, ok?"

"My lips are sealed." Zack said with a wide grin. Cloud groaned.

"I haven't… since Seph… I haven't even… you know. I'd like to, I mean, it's normal, but…" the blond was completely flustered.

"You haven't had sex since Seph died? That's completely understandable. It hasn't even been so long. And it's natural to want to have sex. I mean, it's nice! As far as I can remember, been near two years since my last time…"

"No, Zack, I mean that I haven't… I haven't had sex, obviously, but I haven't even… you know."

"Ohhh!" Zack figured it out, and winced. "Ouch."

"It feels bad, to want to feel good. I guess it's stupid, but I just feel so… guilty. I want to be kissed again. And other things. I miss it. I miss Seph. I want him back. And not just for sex. But I know it's not happening. Is it wrong, to want to feel good?"

"…of course not. You know it yourself. Stop feeling guilty for surviving, Cloudy. Seph wouldn't want you to think like that." Zack's voice was quiet and earnest, and he pulled the spellcaster into a tight hug when the tears started to fall. He ran his hands up and down the blond's back, trying to comfort him. Cloud was clearly disturbed by what he'd said, it didn't even seem to bother him that Zack could very easily notice that the spellcaster was, at a certain level, enjoying the physical contact.

"Oooooooh shiiiiiiit…" Zack moaned under his breath when he felt his own body answer to the attention it was getting. He tried to move away, but the rocks were slippery under his feet, and he found himself falling from the spring down to the cool earth, the spellcaster still pressed tightly against his chest.

Once his back was steadily on the ground, his feet still in the pool up to his knees, Zack opened his eyes to look at a baffled Cloud.

"What happened?" Cloud asked, looking around. And only then he felt their erections between their naked bodies, and blushed.

Zack burst into almost hysterical laughter. The spellcaster narrowed his eyes and started to tickle the fighter's sides, not exactly helping Zack stop laughing. But the dark-haired man retaliated with his own tickle attack, and they were soon rolling around in the grass and sand, trying to tickle or poke or even punch each other while remaining away from reach of the other.

Eventually they stopped, and lay on their sides, their faces only inches apart. Zack was still grinning like a maniac, and aroused as hell, so he moved his head so that their noses touched.

"Hi."

"Hi..." the blond's answer was a bit slower, but Zack was relieved to hear it anyway.

"You know, Cloudy, we really have to stop meeting like this. People are going to start talking soon."

"Ha ha." Cloud buried his face between Zack's neck and shoulder, breathing deep.

/"_All right, all right! I'll take you to the damned Gold Saucer! Happy?_"/

Zack rubbed his face against Cloud's cheek and ear, the small earring scratching his cheek, cool against the skin. "You are just too cute when you blush, you know?" He whispered, snaked his arms around the blond and pulled him closer. "And I do care for you, a lot."

It seemed to him that they both needed this. Obviously not from each other, which saddened him a bit, but it didn't matter right now. If this was the way to help Cloud, he'd gladly oblige. Zack was relieved when Cloud murmured something and started to kiss his neck. The dark-haired man answered by nibbling his ear.

/"_... Seph? What... what happened? Where are we? Where are you!_"/

Zack's hands moved up and down the soft skin, raising goose bumps in their wake. The blond pushed himself up and came to rest half on top of Zack's chest. Their lips met and tongues searched for each other.

/"_Cloud? Love, I'm here... are you all right? There was an explosion, I remember that much..._"/

Zack grinned into the kiss and suddenly flipped them over. Cloud barely had time to notice what was happening before he was already the one laying on the ground. There was no stopping anymore. The fighter paused for a second anyway, looking down at the blond who was breathing heavily. Cloud looked up at him from underneath his eyelashes, in a way that quickly drove Zack nuts. The dark-haired man tackled him and they kissed again, their blood on fire as Zack ran his hands all over Cloud's body again while the blond teasingly bit the man's lower lip.

/"_I think I'm bleeding... but it's not serious. We need to get back to the chocobos. Seph, do you have any light?_"/

Not wanting to give up so easily, Cloud managed to turn them over again, and sat up on top of Zack.

"Little torturer..." the fighter murmured and sat up as well, Cloud still on his lap, their bodies touching each other ever so slightly every time either one breathed in. The fighter grinned like a predator, and the next thing Cloud knew, he was flat on his back on the ground again, Zack leaning over him, positioned between his legs.

"What are you waiting for, a written invitation?" The blond murmured, smiling slightly.

With a soft roar, Zack landed completely on him, kissing and biting the tender skin of the neck. Cloud moaned and closed his eyes, trying to forget everything else except how good this felt. Soon Zack pushed himself back up, winked with a wide grin and started to plant kisses on the blond's chest, moving towards his stomach. Cloud's eyes went wide but soon closed as he shuddered with passion. The long, dark hairs tickled his chest as Zack licked his stomach.

/"_Here." A match illuminated the hand that held it. "Love? Come to the light_."/

/"_Y-yes... I think I hurt my leg." It doesn't matter, soon his arms close around me_./

"Hurry up, Zack..." Cloud hissed when the fighter let his tongue travel. Zack looked up and gave the blond his million gil grin before letting his mouth wander even lower. Cloud cried out and his thin fingers rose to stroke the dark hair.

/"_Oh love, thank Leviathan you're fine..._"/

/_I kiss his chin, and Sephiroth smiles... I love him so much.._./

"Za-aack!" Cloud moaned with a pout when the dark-haired man suddenly sat up. He needed this, needed not to think, needed to just feel happy, to feel loved again, if only just for a moment. The fighter just laughed.

"Impatient, are we?" Zack struck a heroic pose and flexed his muscles.

/"_Now, to get out of here... where ever we are_..."/

/_A noise, like a door opening. And suddenly, there's a blinding light, illuminating everything_./

"No, horny. I told you already."

Zack laughed. "It's the same thing!"

/_It's a room, a white, tiled, sterilized room, although the floor is splattered with bloodstains. His and mine_./

Cloud rolled his eyes and

/_Three men step in, two holding guns and one in a white coat. That man looks at us like we're animals, and smirks. There's shark teeth in that smile, and I wish I had my sword. I'm sure Seph thinks the same. Where are our weapons? And the chocobos?_/

/_The man with the white jacket lifts a hand to push his glasses up. Then he shrugs and waves his hand_./

/_"Shoot."_/

/_Two guns go off, not normal guns but weapons still. At the same split second I release the fire spell I'd prepared and Sephiroth pushes me behind him. But it's too late_./

"Cloud? Hey, are you all right? Can you hear me? Cloud!"

/_I don't have time to see if the fireball hits its mark as the small dart hits me in the neck. Straight to the vein. Seph screams, fighting the poison, and tries to keep me standing_.../

/"_NO!_"/

/... _tranquilizers?_.../

"NOOO!" Cloud screamed and pushed with all his might, throwing Zack off him and into the spring. The fighter barely registered the movement until he was already sinking. He managed to get a foothold and sprang up towards the surface. The blond was sitting up, heaving in lungfuls of air, blue eyes darting around the area.

Zack climbed out of the water, worried and angry, but the anger faded immediately when he saw the odd look in the blue eyes. Cloud wasn't seeing the jungle, the spring or him, he was somewhere else completely. Somewhere scary, by the terrified look on his face. Zack quickly picked up the cleanest piece of cloth, Cloud's shirt, and wrapped it around the spellcaster's shoulders. The blond didn't seem to even register the touch.

"Cloud? Oh hell. Don't go psycho on me now..." the fighter muttered and shook the blond gently, trying to break the trance. Cloud moaned quietly and tried to pull away from him, eyes still unfocused.

"Come on, wake up!"

"Seph..."

Zack froze completely. He wanted Cloud to wake up, but if the man was finally remembering what had happened to him, he didn't want to spoil it. So the fighter forced himself to let go of the blond and just sit still and quiet, ready to help if he needed to.

**-x-x-x-**

Cloud couldn't open his eyes, but at the moment it seemed unimportant. He felt like he was floating above himself, devoid of all feelings, pain, fear and worry. The world was white, tinted with pink and light blue shades here and there. It was soft, and calm, and completely noiseless. Like he was within a soft cloud. The thought made the blond smile, but the slight movement set off impulses through his body, waking aches and pains and worry. Why exactly was he here? Where was this? Where was Sephiroth?

He breathed deep, the movement again jolting him closer to awareness. The last thing... the last thing he could remember was a white room. Cold and cruel and spotless, save for the bloodstains. Their blood, Sephiroth's and his. He now remembered the long cut on his leg, and as if on cue it started to ache. Where had they been hurt like that? There hadn't been a battle, they had been in the desert, on their chocobos. Going north. The war was over, and they were supposed to be free from it all. They were going to have a holiday somewhere. It was going to be great.

For a minute he wondered if he'd had a sunstroke, but that didn't explain the white room. And the men, he now remembered the men. Two with guns, and one in a white coat. They'd been shot, with tranquilizers. He'd been hit, in the neck. The poison had gone straight to his veins, he had dropped almost before he'd realised that he had been hit. Sephiroth had tried to keep him up and awake, but they'd shot the general again, until he fell as well. And now, now he was in this cloud.

"Seph...?" he tried calling quietly. The letters hurt his throat, and he started to hear noises. Someone was talking, and the voice became nearer. Or maybe just clearer. His body started to ache all over, cuts and bruises he didn't remember receiving.

Someone spoke, the words sounding like the person was right beside his head, so Cloud struggled to hear them. "... awake as well."

"Cloud!"

"... Seph...?" The spellcaster tried to speak again, and forced his eyes open.

The light that hit his eyes was so bright he thought for a second he might go blind or just faint from the pain. A quiet wail escaped his lips, and he could hear Sephiroth call his name again, desperately.

Slowly the light became more bearable, and Cloud relaxed a bit. Until his eyes focused on the face that was hovering above him. The blond swallowed quickly not to scream.

The man must have been at least in his sixties, but his long, greasy hair was still completely black. It hung in a messy ponytail over his shoulder. His eyes were almost black as well, and stared calculatingly at him from over a pair of glasses. His skin was almost as pale as his white laboratory coat, but not as wrinkled. A long, thin, bony finger rose and poked at the blond's chest. Cloud swallowed again when he realized it was the same man who had ordered them shot in the white room.

His eyes now adjusted to the light around them, Cloud saw movement from the corner of his right eye, and turned his head so that he wouldn't have to watch the skinny man who was now poking at the wound in his leg and muttering. He saw that the room wasn't white anymore, or to be precise it wasn't the same room. This seemed like a warehouse... the roof above them was grey and circular, the room the shape of half a circle. Bright balls of light dotted the ceiling which, from his point of view, seemed to go on forever. Wooden boxes and cages large and small were piled by the walls, and some of the cages had monsters in them.

Finally his eyes met what had attracted them in the first place. Across the dark floor, on the opposite wall, was a wooden bench (just like the one he was lying on, he noted), and strapped onto it was his lover. Cloud's heart skipped a beat and he tried to get up but realized he had been tied down as well. Still, the fingers of his right hand tried to reach over the ten feet between them.

"Seph..."

Sephiroth stopped struggling with his bonds and looked over at him, his pale face turning from furious to relieved. "Oh love... are you all right?"

Cloud nodded even though the white-coated man was examining his wound quite painfully. It didn't matter. He couldn't take his eyes off of the green-eyed man.

Sephiroth's long hair was in a mess, clotted with lumps of dried blood which covered most of his face as well. Still, he seemed mostly uninjured, and started to struggle harder to get free. Cloud hoped the man wouldn't turn right now and see what was happening. Of course that was what happened next.

The man left his leg alone, wiping his hands on a handkerchief, and turned to watch the struggle. Sephiroth didn't either notice or mind. The spellcaster was sure the general would be punished for trying to escape, but the man just chuckled.

"No use, my boy, those bonds won't break no matter how much you fight them. You're as bound as a fly in a spider's web. Both of you. And I..." now he smiled so that the shark teeth showed again "... am the spider."

Sephiroth relaxed and turned so that his and Cloud's eyes met. This wasn't good.

**-x-x-x-**

Zack tried to sneak in as quietly as possible, not wanting to make Aeris and Elmyra worry. Cloud had more or less passed out after the strange trance, without a word, and the fighter had opted to just carry him home, after getting some clothes on the both of them. He felt a bit embarrassed about the kissing and what it might have lead to, another reason he didn't particularly wish to see Aeris and her mother that night.

Elmyra was already asleep in her room, but Aeris was still up when the fighter quietly closed the door. The flower girl came out of the kitchen to greet them, expecting to see both Cloud and Zack What she saw was Cloud's body tossed over Zack's shoulder, and the terrified look on the fighter's face when he saw her.

"What happened?" she asked and hurried to them, speaking quietly not to disturb her mother. Zack pulled on a disarming smile.

"Don't worry, he just passed out at the springs. I think he remembered something."

Aeris was standing by his side, looking at Cloud's face and running a hand through his damp hair. "Oh. That's… good, I guess. Did he say what he remembered?"

"No, he just… passed out. I'm gonna take him to bed. Are you turning in already?"

"No, not just yet." Aeris said. She had been sleepy, but not anymore. "I think I'll make a cup of tea. Do you want one?"

"Yeah, sure." Zack said with a grin which was far more sure than he was. "I'll just make sure he's all right." With that, he walked up the stairs to the attic and carefully lowered Cloud to his bed, or more like mattress on the floor. He tugged off the spellcaster's clothes, as they were still muddy and even a bit wet, and pulled the covers up to the blond's chin.

"It was a stupid thing we did, you know... not that I didn't want to, right then, and you did too… but it wasn't right. But if it helped you to remember, I'm glad. Just… don't break on me like that again. We all love you…" he stroked the blond spikes for a moment and leaned in to kiss Cloud's forehead before sneaking downstairs, kicking the dirty clothes before him. He tossed them and his own clothes into the laundry basket, and pulled on a pair of clean trousers before joining Aeris in the kitchen.

The flower girl had already fixed their tea, and was sitting at the table. Zack suspected that she had already had the kettle on earlier, the water wouldn't have boiled this fast. She had probably waited for them to come home.

"So, what were you doing at the springs?" Aeris asked once Zack had settled into a chair. The fighter felt a moment of terror, thinking that the girl somehow knew what had happened.

"We got all muddy fighting the flower prongs, thought we'd take a bath." He kept forgetting that Aeris didn't play mind games with people. Having been around diplomats and politicians for so long, he automatically tried to figure out what people around him were really saying. But sometimes, they meant exactly what they said. Aeris just nodded, smiling faintly at the visual. That made Zack smile as well, and the flower girl blushed, thinking that the fighter was laughing at her.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, you just have such a pretty smile." Zack said.

Hell, maybe he'd just risk it.

Aeris blushed some more, but smiled at the man across the table. "So do you."

"Aeris, I've been wondering… and I've been thinking about this a lot, and probably won't have the courage again, so lemme speak here. I think I like you. A lot. And I've kinda gotten the impression that you might feel the same way about me. I might be wrong, but just in case I'm not…" he'd been staring at the wooden table, not daring to look up. But now he forced his violet eyes up, to look into Aeris' green ones. She was smiling, that was good. And the look in her eyes was so warm. That looked good as well. She was getting up, that might be trouble. She was walking over to him, good, unless she'd slap him the next second.

And then she was kissing him. It lasted only for a few seconds, but left Zack up in seventh heaven. "Yeah, you got the right idea there." She whispered into his ear. Zack laughed and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her down to sit on his lap.

"Good. I'm glad."

* * *

Cloud was the first one up the next morning, and was sitting in the kitchen with a strong cup of coffee by the time the others got up. He looked like he'd been mentally hit by a speeding chocobo, but managed to mutter something akin to 'Morning' as a greeting when Elmyra, the second one up, walked into the kitchen, yawning. Aeris was up next, smiling and happy. She took one sniff of the coffee, strong enough to melt a spoon, and put the tea kettle on. "Good morning you two, did you sleep well?" she gave a quick kiss to the top of Cloud's messy hair before sitting down. Elmyra smiled and nodded.

"You're awfully cheery." The blond just commented, taking a sip of his coffee.

"He finally got his mouth open, didn't he?" Elmyra asked with a knowing little smile, and Aeris nodded, almost beaming. The spellcaster blinked at them for a moment but didn't seem to catch on. Not until Zack came down, gave them all a sunny smile and then blushed when he saw Aeris.

"Morning, all!"

"Oh brother…" Cloud muttered and took another sip. Zack laughed, ruffled his hair not-too-gently and gave Aeris a small kiss on the cheek before trying to decide whether he wanted coffee or tea.

Zack and Cloud stayed in the kitchen, sitting by the table while Elmyra soon left to town and Aeris went to take care of her flowers. The spellcaster was still nursing his now lukewarm coffee, and the fighter was wolfing down his fourth piece of bread.

"So. You told her." It wasn't a question, but Zack answered with a sheepish grin.

"Yeah."

"And I take it she feels the same about you?"

"Yeah."

"And you're just tickled pink."

"Yeah!"

Cloud sighed and rolled his eyes. "You know, there are only a handful of things more annoying in the world than a new couple in love."

Zack laughed. "And just because you've been like that yourself doesn't mean that you have any patience for them?"

"Who says I've ever been an idiot?"

"Oh come on, everyone goes a bit silly when they're in love."

"Not me."

"…Speaking of a bit silly… about last night…"

"We shouldn't have done it." Cloud said before Zack could finish. The fighter nodded.

"Yeah. I mean, it was nice, and all, but… stupid. Now that is not to say that you should live in total abstinence. You might explode or something."

"Fuck you."

"Well, we tried, but you went spaz on me. Cloud, what happened? Did you remember something?"

The blond fell into a sullen silence before answering. "Yeah. I remembered waking up… in there. The … place. In the photos. We woke up first in this white room. Then he, Hojo, he came in with some other men, and they shot us down with tranquilizers. And the next time I woke up, Seph and I were in there. And so was Hojo. And… that's pretty much all I can remember."

"Hey, it's a start." Zack said and leaned over the table to grab a hold of the blond's hand. Squeezing it, he smiled at the spellcaster. "Maybe you just needed that something to jog your memory. You know, if you yanked the chain a coupla times, maybe you'd start to remember other things as well."

Luckily for Zack, the coffee that was thrown on him was almost cold. But the spellcaster's anger soon faded, and his shoulders shook with concealed laughter. "For a diplomat, you sure stick your foot into your mouth often. Asshole." With that, Cloud stood and left the room. Zack chuckled and started to dry his face and shirt with a napkin. He actually considered himself a damn good diplomat.

* * *

Aeris came back in about an hour later, and Cloud decided to leave her and Zack alone. He picked up some of the letters Sephiroth had sent to Zack, and went to sit in Aeris's garden. Her flowers were growing all around the house, and up the walls as well. Their scent was almost intoxicating.

The fighter had gone through the letters himself soon after Josin has brought them over, and had then handed them to the spellcaster. "You can read them all you want, keep them as long as you need them." Zack had said quietly, and handed them to him like so much treasure. That's what they were to him. Memories.

It had taken a considerable time before Cloud had dared to fold open the first letter and read it. He had immediately recognized Sephiroth's handwriting, the flowing letters which often took a while to decipher. The man could write neatly if he needed to, but most of the time he hadn't bothered with it. One of the small quirks that had always made Cloud smile. Seph had been such a perfectionist in so many things; fighting, leading, caring for his sword, even in the bedroom. But writing: it had never mattered much to the man if anyone could read his writing. He had always managed it himself, that had been enough. And Cloud had made it his business to learn to read the incomprehensible scrawl.

By now he had read all the letters so many times that he could almost recite them, word to word. But he still loved to read them, just to feel near to his lover again.

* * *

Zack had moved to the living room, where he was cleaning his trusted gun and sharpening his even more trusted sword. He was humming quietly when Aeris brought a vase of fresh flowers into the room.

"That's a nice song." She commented and laughed when he actually started. When he yelped with pain, she hurried over to him. Zack dropped his sword and clutched his left hand with his right, holding them both against his chest.

"Ow ow ow!"

"Zack I'm sorry, I didn't mean to surprise you! Here, show me…" she knelt beside him and held out her hands, motioning for him to give her his hurt hand. The fighter stopped his moaning, grinned, leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm alright." He winked and waved his hands, both unharmed.

"That was mean!" Aeris frowned at him, trying not to smile, and poked him in the side. Maybe a bit unnecessarily hard.

"Ow. Ok, that hurt. Ow! Hey! Stop poking me!"

"Make me!" Aeris laughed. Zack grabbed her wrists after a bit of a struggle and several pokes, but by then he was lying on his back on the floor, Aeris on top of him. When she realised what position they were in, she blushed and laughed. Zack grinned at her, a bit uncomfortable when he remembered what a position not too unlike this one had lead to last night.

"Hi…" Aeris said, smiling sunnily.

"Hi…" the fighter answered, blushing furiously. He wouldn't mind a repetition of last night with Aeris, not at all, but he wanted to do the right thing with her. And it was too soon for last night's actions.

"You look so cute when you blush, Zack. Don't tell me you're going coy on me?"

"Such a word doesn't exist in my vocabulary." Zack said with a wink, and lifted his head to kiss her lightly on the lips. Aeris answered the kiss, giving him another quick one once their lips parted. "However, your knee, right about now, is painfully close to my, ah, secret weapon."

Aeris laughed at the cheesiness and sat up, offering Zack a hand and pulling him up to a sitting position. The fighter rubbed his neck, more than a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry… I just don't want to spoil this… there's no need to hurry, I mean."

She gave him a rather amused look. "Don't worry, I'm not about to steal your innocence."

"That's not exactly what I meant, lil' Miss Buttercup…" Zack said with a grin and poked her shoulder with his finger, "but thanks anyway. I'm saving myself for the woman of my life!"

"And who might that be?" Aeris laughed, grabbing his poking finger.

"Play your cards right and it might just be you!" Zack answered with a big, toothy grin and a thumbs-up. The flower girl laughed and hugged him, kissing his cheek which soon lead to longer, more intimate kisses. Their hands fell to their sides, and sought out each other to hold. For a moment, there was room for nothing else in their world than just the two of them. Not even the stubborn ringing of a PHS upstairs.

* * *

Cloud ignored the occasional bursts of laughter and moved onto the second page of the letter. The first page was a long-winded answer to a question Zack had apparently asked on the topic of why it wasn't politically wise to 'just knock their cabbage-heads together and make them work it out themselves'. Cloud was sure that he would have preferred Zack's way instead of the overly patient method of Sephiroth's.

The second page was far less serious in nature as Sephiroth got to the topic of his new love. It still made Cloud blush when he read it, but it also made him feel warm inside, not so alone. To know someone had loved him so much, even if he was no more…

It was almost noon, so the sun was pretty much overhead, shining down on him from between the leaves of the trees and the flowers everywhere. It was warm and comfortable, and even though he tried to, Cloud couldn't keep his eyes open for longer than a few pages more.

**-x-x-x-**

There were no windows in the hall, and the lack of light made it nearly impossible to tell exactly what shape it was, and how big. Cloud could tell that Sephiroth still tried.

They were no longer tied onto the heavy benches. Right now they were locked in strong iron cages with not much room to move in. The cages were a few feet from each other, but if the two lovers reached out as far as they could, they could just catch each other's hands, and get a bit of comfort from the touch. As long as they were together, there was hope.

"What do you think is going on?" Cloud asked quietly. Words echoed easily in the hall, especially when they were alone like this, and neither wanted to attract attention to them. Sephiroth didn't answer for a moment, he was busy trying to reach the bench on the right side of his cage. The men imprisoning them had left the general's small bag unguarded onto the bench. Sephiroth, if he reached out as far as he could, managed to nearly reach it.

"I think…" the general muttered between frustrated grunts, "that we accidentally came too close to this place. The mine was a warning not to come too close. And… if this is some kind of secret operation, it's not too likely they'll let us go. Aha!" The general managed to nudge the bag enough that its strap fell into his reach. With a quick look towards the hall, to see that it was still empty, Sephiroth yanked the bag to his cage and started to rummage through it.

"That's what I was thinking too…" Cloud muttered, shivering a bit in the cold. The cages were standing on the cold, earth floor, and there was no heating anywhere. He turned to Sephiroth, hoping that the general would have something of use in his bag. It wasn't likely that the men would just let them go, so they'd have to escape, one way or another.

"Damn it. I only have my camera and a few of your materia in here."

"'Only'?" Cloud sat up straighter and leaned towards the other cage on the right. "Give them here, you muscle-moron…"

Sephiroth chuckled and tossed the three small spheres to the spellcaster, turning his attention to the camera. He himself could use some simple spells, but didn't know much about the materia. Cloud, on the other hand, could probably tell with one look their type and how strong they were.

"Fuck… 'only' indeed. I've got a low-level Cure, an All and a Sense-materia. The only damage these'll do will be if I manage to hit someone on the head with these." Cloud growled after only a minute. Sephiroth nodded grimly. He hadn't expected that their captors would leave anything truly powerful just lying about. "And I can't even use the Cure without something to channel it through. These are useless." He was about to throw them away but Sephiroth stopped him.

"Give them here, I'll put them back in the bag. You never know, they might come in hand someday." Cloud obeyed, and the general stored the orbs in the bag, as well as the camera. The spellcaster didn't see what he did with the bag, it was too dark, but he suspected that Sephiroth somehow hid it from their captors. Whether it would stay hidden was a different matter.

"Ever the optimist…" Cloud muttered, making Sephiroth chuckle quietly.

"Try to get some sleep, lovely, we'll need our strength to get out of here."

"Yeah…" the spellcaster muttered and tried to find a comfortable position on the iron bars. A mission as impossible as getting out of there, he feared. They had no idea where they were, how many men there were in the area, what traps, what security measures… and there was the fact that they were sitting behind strong iron bars. Getting out seemed a very unlikely thing.

He did manage to fall asleep, as they were both used to sleeping when and where they could. To rest when it was possible between attacks and planning new ones. His dreams were far from pleasant, and the spellcaster woke immediately when more lights were turned on overhead, and there were noises on the other side of the hall, coming closer. Cloud sat up and turned to Sephiroth, who was up as well, staring intently towards the approaching voices.

"Morning, love."

"Yeah. Seph?"

"Yes?"

"If this gets bad, I just want you to know that I love you."

Sephiroth turned to him immediately, his green eyes full of barely contained tears at the words. Fear for the future, fear for them both, fear which he wouldn't let anyone else see. "I love you too, Cloud. So much…"

The man in a white coat reached them first. The others stayed farther away, apparently preparing something. Cloud couldn't tell, the white coat blocked just enough of his view. When he looked up, he saw that the man was giving Sephiroth all his attention. The spellcaster frowned, not liking the possessive look at all.

"Are you comfortable, Sephiroth? I should hope so. It wouldn't do good to have you suffer needlessly, after all."

Sephiroth managed to keep his cool. Cloud was sure that if he had been addressed so himself, his answer would have contained far more expletives than comprehensible words. But the general's answer was civil, even if it was delivered with a tone cold enough to freeze.

"I would be more comfortable anywhere but here."

"Ah, well, that can't be helped, I'm afraid. You see, now that I have you back, I'm not letting you go so easily."

"Have me back? What are you talking about? Who are you?" Sephiroth didn't let his nervousness or his fear show one bit. Cloud was so proud of him.

"I see, I haven't even introduced myself yet. I am professor Hojo. Pleased to see you again, you've grown so much."

"I don't like the fact that you're suggesting that we've met before. I have no recollection of such a thing. And I never forget a face, especially one as ugly as yours."

"Well, you were just a baby back then. Whatever they did with the other one I couldn't care less. But what they did to you; THAT I can never forgive." With that the man suddenly turned around and walked over to the other men, giving Sephiroth one last look over his shoulder.

"What… what the hell was that about…" Sephiroth said out loud, turning to Cloud. The spellcaster shrugged, feeling as confused as his lover looked. The man had made no sense at all. The general tried to question Hojo when he approached them again, this time with a few assistants, but the man paid his words no heed. He just stood back as the men opened the cage containing the general, and dragged him out, threatening with tranquilizers if he didn't obey.

"Don't worry, son… this won't hurt. Much." Hojo said with that shark smile when Sephiroth was strapped to a cold, metal table.

Cloud could only watch with tears in his eyes as the men ran different tests on his lover, taking out samples of blood and tissue, injecting him with various things, taking photographs and notes all the time. It lasted for a few hours, and when they were done, they threw a limp Sephiroth back into the cage. The general was too out of it to object to his treatment, or probably to even notice when Hojo turned his eyes to Cloud.

"And now… it's your turn."

**-x-x-x-**

Cloud woke with a start, and it took a long time before he could catch his breath and remember that he was in Mideel, free from the captivity, surrounded by flowers and sunshine instead of cold metal and fear. He was free, but Sephiroth was not with him.

"Aw, shit…" Cloud muttered and squeezed his eyes shut against the threatening tears. He lifted a hand to his eyes and felt the letters fall from his lap. Scrambling to catch them, he nearly fell out of the chair but managed to keep his balance. The letters, however, fell to the ground. A few pages were caught by the wind. Cloud swore and shot out of the chair and after them, berating himself for letting them fall in the first place. It seemed like all he was good for was failing. Failing to protect Sephiroth, failing to keep his memory alive, failing to even keep Zack's memories of him safe. Tears almost blinded him while he ran after the wind-blown pages.

"I'm sorry, Seph…"

Once he'd managed to catch them all, he sat down on the ground and let himself fall on his back, pressing the wrinkled papers to his chest which was tight with tears. He knew that he was far enough from the house not to be heard, so he let the tears and sobs come. He tried not to cry whenever someone was nearby, he didn't want to worry them. Or let them see him this weak. He knew that they'd seen him at his worst, but as far as he was concerned, that would never happen again. Only the forest witnessed his tears this time.

Later on, after he'd dried his eyes, Cloud checked that he had really managed to find all of the pages, and started back towards the house. From the position of the sun he'd figured that it was near lunchtime, and even if he hadn't much of an appetite after crying so, his stomach didn't seem to agree. He hadn't really eaten anything since yesterday, way before he and Zack had left to fight the monsters.

Elmyra hadn't returned yet, but Aeris and Zack were already cooking in the kitchen, talking quietly with each other. Cloud greeted them and walked straight upstairs to take the letters there, and so that he wouldn't have to see their happiness. It was a bit too much for him to bear right then.

He put the letters into a small chest he and Zack shared, to keep just such things safe. Food wouldn't be ready in a while yet, so he flopped down in his bed, letting out a long sigh. For a while there, during the winter months, he had thought he could handle things. He'd pretty much come to terms with the fact that Sephiroth was gone, even if it made his heart break. There still were mornings when he woke up, reaching over to hug the general, only to realise that he wasn't there. But he had gotten used to it. Having seen the photos had shed some light on what had happened during those lost months. And judging by yesterday, and the dream earlier, he was slowly beginning to remember. Whether that was a good thing or not, he didn't know.

He yearned for human contact, to have someone to hold again, for someone to hold him, assure him that everything would be ok. What he and Zack had done last night was stupid, they both had agreed on that. It still bothered him, though. And not only because it had felt so nice. To forget everything except what the body needed. He had been neglecting his body lately, putting it through strain while fighting the monsters, not eating enough, sleeping maybe a bit too much.

His hands started to travel down from his chest, slowly and hesitantly. When they touched the sliver of his abdomen, peeking out from between his shirt and trousers, he hissed quietly, surprised how fiercely his body responded to the slight touch. Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath, annoyed at himself at how he had to make everything so damn difficult.

He had reached the waistband of his trousers and emptied his mind from everything unnecessary, when the PHS on Zack's bed burst into life. Cloud jumped almost two feet into the air, yanking his hand out and blushing furiously. He stood up with shaky knees, and with equally shaky hands reached out for the device and answered it.

"Uh, yes?" his voice came out too high and squeaky, making him blush even more.

""Strife?"" Master Ranael asked after a quiet moment.

"Uh, yeah. How can I help you, sir?"

""I've been trying to call you several times now.""

"…Sorry. Something up?"

""Yes. ShinRa troops has been spotted nearing Fort Condor. We suspect an attack, and are sending some troops there, but since you and Zack are so near, we'd like you two to head over there and try to keep the situation under control, if, indeed, there is a situation to be handled.""

Cloud swore quietly under his breath, even if the thought of possible action wasn't so bad, considering that he had somewhat yearned for something to do. And he had to face it; fighting ShinRa was something he knew how to do. "Yes sir. When do you want us there?"

""As soon as possible. Scout the area, see if the rumours are true and if there is an attack coming. We'd suspected that ShinRa wouldn't just lie down and give up the fight after Wutai. Even with just a few men they could take the Fort. So get there as soon as you can. And keep in touch. We're expecting a report as soon as you get there.""

"Yes, sir. We're on it."

""Good. Talk to you later, then. Good luck.""

"Yes, sir…" Cloud closed the PHS and sat down on Zack's bed, swearing again, louder this time. Action was good. Telling Zack that they had to leave NOW, when he and Aeris had just started their 'relationship'… not so good.

The spellcaster got up, tossed the PHS back on the bed, and headed downstairs. "Zaaack…"

**-x-x-x-**

Sephiroth awoke to a strange feeling. He was warm. It was summer, so that shouldn't have been strange. But the warmness seemed centered on his right side. Moving his head just a bit, he received a face full of tickly hair. That's when he remembered.

They'd been lying on his cot, tired after a long battle, after healing and planning. They'd been too tired to get undressed. Cloud had just followed him into his private 'room', he had sat on the bed and pulled the spellcaster closer, then they had both fallen on the bed, and as promptly fallen asleep. The spellcaster was still sleeping under the protection of the general's arm.

Just a few weeks had passed since that first kiss. And their first night together. They hadn't done anything then besides kissing and some fondling, and even though the feeling that either of them could die any day was constantly there, Sephiroth was glad that they weren't hurrying this. Because, he realized, he was really falling hard for the spellcaster. And he wanted to do the right thing, whatever that was. He didn't have much experience with matters of the heart; he'd had a few relationships, of course, but never anything too serious. He was very handsome, that's what they all told him, and it was why most people wanted to be with him. It hurt a bit, and was why nothing had ever lasted, why he preferred having friends to lovers.

And then along came Cloud. Thinking back on it, Sephiroth had figured that he had fallen for the smaller man at first sight, even if he hadn't realized it then. He hadn't really even thought about an affair with the blond; that first kiss had come as much as a surprise to the both of them.

Cloud didn't say much, but he certainly was honest with his emotions, and the few words he spoke. Sephiroth knew he could trust the spellcaster with anything, the way he had dared to trust only a handful of people in his whole life. There were only so few who he could show his weaknesses to.

But most importantly, at least to him… with Cloud, he didn't want to live from day to day, thinking that he could go any given moment. With the spellcaster by his side, he wanted more.

Sephiroth smiled and turned carefully so that he was facing the spellcaster. Always careful not to wake him, the general lifted a hand and started to stroke the stubborn, short spikes on top of Cloud's head. They'd already grown almost two inches. It was one way of keeping a track of time, Sephiroth mused, watching his lover's hair grow, when days in the trenches always seemed the same. Well, it certainly was the most enjoyable way he could think of right then.

"Here's to our happily ever after, lovely…" Sephiroth whispered and kissed the sleeping spellcaster on the forehead before slipping back to sleep himself.

**-x-x-x-**

* * *

**A.N:** The 'sex scene' was originally in the very first FF7 fanfiction story I ever wrote. Unfortunately that story was crap, but I liked that one scene, which I first hijacked into another story which never got finished, so I threw it here. It worked the best in the first story, where there was a third timeline in it as well, but I wanted to use it somewhere...

Hopefully this wasn't too bad, this was another one of those transitional chapters from old to new, but from now on it'll all be new text, written right here and right now. This'll also mean that it'll probably take a bit longer for each chapter to come out, but I am determined to finish this story.

Oh yeah, one more thing, there's now a link to my homepage on the profile-page, and there are some pictures there for this story and for the Blood of Innocents. Eventually there shall be more, and some extras as well...

Answers to reviews:

scarlettHuntress: I admit, it would be nice to get a lot of reviews, but it's really wonderful to have reviewers such as you who come back chapter after chapter! -hug-

vtforpedro: Thank you! And yes, I'm afraid Seph has gone to meet his maker… -wipes a tear from her eye-

Beatrisu: Cookies! Milk! –feels loved- Ahh thank you! I'll try to keep up with updating, might take a wee bit longer from now on, but the cookies certainly help with writing –hug-


	10. Chapter 9: Crying

WARNING! This chapter is nasty. Bad things happen. Violence is committed. Things are remembered.

I apologize for the lateness; Kingdom Hearts II ate my soul.

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* * *

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**Chapter Nine**

**Crying**

**.  
**

"They took you away from me. That was a very stupid thing to do, and trust me, they paid for it. For a long, very painful time, they paid for it."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Cloud was barely awake, but when he heard Sephiroth's voice, he forced his heavy eyelids open and turned towards his lover.

It had soon become obvious that the man in white had wanted them for Sephiroth. The spellcaster had been put away, locked in a small cage so that he wasn't in the way. Cloud hated it, but not nearly as much as he hated the fact that he was used as blackmail. He was useless to Hojo as anything else. If Sephiroth refused to do whatever the men wanted him to do, they'd torture Cloud. And that was something the general couldn't handle; he always gave up, no matter if Cloud kept telling him not to. He would handle the pain if it meant Sephiroth came to no harm.

The trouble was, Sephiroth's thoughts went along the very same lines. But all Cloud got was physical pain. What they were doing to Sephiroth… the spellcaster didn't know for sure, but it involved syringes and long sessions of the man, Hojo, alone with the general. No good could come from it.

"You're such a cruel child, Sephiroth. Lucky for us, your so-called 'mother' was foolish enough to let you join those two-bit peace rallyers. And for once, that moron's spies were efficient in their work. And I found you." The man was cooing at the general now, and Sephiroth, tied to a table, tried in vain to move away from him.

"You're not… making any sense!"

"Hmh? Are you seriously trying to tell me, that you never wondered why you looked nothing like your parents? You don't even look Wutaian."

"My father was from the north, asshole."

"Yes, I'm sure that's what they kept telling you. Did you ever meet him?"

"He… died when I was just a baby."

"Hah. They couldn't even come up with anything better than that? And you bought the lies? Maybe you're not as smart as I thought. Well, easily remedied, that one." Hojo picked up a syringe filled with green material. It almost glowed. "She will help you…"

"Stop lying to him!" Cloud surprised even himself. He had learned the hard way that interrupting Hojo usually meant pain, but he couldn't bear the look of utter confusion on Sephiroth's face. Hojo was so good with his lies that the general was beginning to buy into them, little by little. And whatever was in those syringes, injected to him several times a day, it only seemed to turn the man towards Hojo more and more.

"Would someone PLEASE silence that maggot? Is it really asking too much? You can't keep a good bitch down, I know, but at least try!" Hojo was almost livid when he turned away from the general. Sephiroth had as well turned towards his lover, and was shaking his head, despair in his green eyes. Cloud locked eyes with him, pouring all his love and adoration into the exchange before he was surrounded by three of Hojo's goons. They opened the cage and pulled him out. The spellcaster could barely stand on his own feet, so stiff he was from being kept in such small quarters for so long. He tried to keep his eyes on Sephiroth as he was dragged away to be punished. He wouldn't mind the pain, not when he knew that every time Hojo hurt him, it would keep Sephiroth from believing his lies for a few moments longer.

**-x-x-x-**

Cloud started awake from his dream when the boat reached the shore, slowing its speed quite suddenly before stopping completely. He almost fell from his unstable position on the bench, but managed to stay upright. Zack was helping the two sailors with the mooring, greeting the people on the piers. The spellcaster forced himself up, shivering in the coldness of the early morning sea breeze. Mideel wasn't too far from the larger continent, but the difference in the weather was very notable. Yawning widely, he stretched and folded the blanket someone had wrapped around his shoulders sometime during the cold night. Jammy was warking excitedly in the bow, eager to get on the ground.

They were back in the seaside town Zack had taken them to, just a few months ago. They'd managed to catch a ride across the sea with the two merchants, on the morning following master Ranael's call. Aeris and Elmyra had stayed behind, back in Mideel. There had been no reason for them to leave home; Elmyra was so enamoured with the little cottage and the village that she'd planned to spend the rest of her life there. Aeris had been considerably less happy that the men had left so suddenly, but after Zack had promised that they'd be right back, she'd let his hand go in the chill of the morning.

That was yesterday, and there was no reason to suspect that they wouldn't return soon. Both Zack and Cloud agreed on that, based on what the master had told them and what they knew of ShinRa. So soon after the last war, it wasn't likely they'd have anything like a big army. The President just didn't like to lose, and was trying to claim land and victory where ever he could manage. He'd probably have only a small troop of men sent to the Fort, enough to stir trouble and keep people on their toes. There was of course the possibility that the attack would be serious, but with the promise of more Peacemakers on their way to help, and with the Fort's own soldiers, of course, the fight wouldn't be a long one.

They passed quickly through the town, only stopping to say hello to Jonah and to pick up one of the chocobos from the farm where they'd left the two they'd caught last year. Zack of course rode on Jammy, but Cloud was given a well-trained chocobo. It was hard to believe it was the same stubborn bird the spellcaster had fought to catch.

"He actually does what I want him to…" the blond said, shaking his head with amusement as the trainer and Zack looked on.

"It's a she, actually. I named her Xenia." The trainer told him. "She's a very good chocobo, aren't you, Xenia? Yes you are!" The man laughed as the chocobo nuzzled him with her beak. "You can always bring her back here, I'll take good care of her for you."

"Thank you…" Cloud muttered, blushing a bit as he sat on the cooing bird's back. She seemed almost hesitant to leave her friends and trainer, but followed Jammy obediently through the forest.

They rode in silence until they reached the end of the forest. After that there was room enough for the two chocobos to travel side by side, and the men could talk with each other without having to shout too loud.

"So… you've fought in Fort Condor before right? What was it like?" Cloud asked once the chocobos found a steady pace. Zack shrugged.

"It wasn't too bad. The fort has many soldiers stationed in there, and they don't have much to do besides train. Of course, back then ShinRa was still at war with Wutai, and had troops to send here as well, on their way to Wutai. The battles were pretty even, it was ShinRa numbers against Fort stubbornness."

"Kinda like Wutai, then."

"Yeah. Good thing is, the Fort, as you know, is on a hill, so the attackers have to climb up where the defenders wait."

"With boiled oil and such?"

Zack gave the spellcaster almost a disgusted look. "Eww, no. That'd be cruel."

"For Shiva's sake, Zack. There's no room to be queasy in battle. You kill or you get killed."

"I know, but there's no reason to be all ShinRa about it. The Fort is easy to keep and defend, no matter what the numbers of foot soldiers attacking, because it's hard to climb, and only a certain number of men can get up there at once. Now, if we were talking about an aerial attack, that would be different. And we can't use boiled oil or stuff like that on aerial attacks."

"Catapults work with aerials." Cloud said with a shrug.

"They have catapults, but ShinRa hasn't so far gotten aerially serious about the Fort."

"So it's not too likely this time either."

"Yeah, I doubt it, with how much damage you guys caused him in Wutai. This should be easy."

"Great. Now you jinxed it. We're all gonna die."

"Don't tell me you're superstitious? I never would have guessed, Cloud. This is a whole new side of you." Zack laughed and leaned over to poke the spellcaster in the side.

"Shut up you moron. I just think it's best not to take any chances with ShinRa. Think about it. It's supposed to be an easy gig, we both know that. But now you say something like that. AND, in addition, you and Aeris just started to date, and you practically swore you'd come back to her. Another sure way to get yourself killed. We're doomed, thanks to you." Cloud explained. Zack wanted to inch Jammy away from the blond who seemed completely serious with his words.

"Okay… you can see the future now or something?"

"No. I've just read a lot. That's how drama works. It could only be worse if you two were having a baby. Or one of us was retiring within a week. You two aren't having a baby, right?"

"Ifrit's balls, no! Geez! You're freaking me out here, you know." Zack was trying to laugh, but wasn't succeeding too well. "Are you off your rocker or something?"

"Nah. Just trying to unjinx your jinx. Now that I've said all that out loud, it's not likely that it'll happen. So we don't have to worry about that, just concentrate on the battle." The blond explained like it was the most natural thing ever. Zack just stared.

"Well, it's… great… that you're… looking after us like that. I suppose." The fighter finally managed to say.

"Dork." Was Cloud's comment. "I'm just fucking with your mind."

"Well, guess you have to stoop to that, seeing that fucking with my body didn't really work."

"I walked right into that one, didn't I…"

"Yes, Cloud, you did. You practically ran into it." Zack chuckled to himself while Cloud shrugged one shoulder. He was not used to seeing this side of the spellcaster, and said as much out loud. "I mean, how can you say something so weird with a straight face? I'd be grinning too much to be taken seriously."

"Just take it as my way of coping with things, ok? It's been a long while since I was in a proper battle." The blond muttered.

"Hey, it's been longer for me. But it's just like riding a chocobo: once you learn how to do it, you never forget."

"That's true. Speaking of forgetting… I've been having dreams lately… ever since that time at the spring." Cloud's voice fell so quiet that Zack had to lean closer to hear his last words. He perked up immediately, wary because he had no idea what to expect next.

"Really? Wanna talk about it?"

"I think they're memories. They feel real, and thinking about them, I remember smells and sounds. It could just be my imagination and subconscious fucking with me, but I don't think so. I think they're real memories."

Zack nodded, not wanting to interrupt the blond with words. Cloud tugged on Xenia's reins, making the chocobo slow down. Jammy immediately followed suit, and the fighter guided the green bird closer to the yellow one.

"I remember being in the… the place with Hojo. He'd keep us locked in cages when they weren't running some sort of tests with us. It started right away, the next morning or whatever after we woke up there. They came and started to pick on Seph. I'm not sure what they did, but they had all these medical equipment, and syringes, and green, glowing stuff. I think it was Mako, but I didn't understand most of what was going on.

"After they were done with Seph, it was my turn. It was horrible being naked on that steel table, under these bright lights. And their eyes. Hojo would stare at me like I was an insect, something annoying but interesting enough to be poked at. He kept talking to Seph like they'd met before, tried to convince him of it. And with all the experiments and shit, Seph started to believe it. He'd… he'd rather believe Hojo than me. That… hurt. Hojo was one sick fuck, but he was good enough at what he did to make Seph believe him." Cloud stopped talking when the lump in his throat forced him to. Zack wanted to offer comfort, stop the chocobos and just hug the spellcaster, but the blond continued talking.

"Hojo did all these experiments with Seph. Most of the time he'd 'let' me watch, but sometimes he'd lock me away in this dark storage room or something. Usually when I tried to meddle with the bull he was feeding Seph. He was starting to believe Hojo's words, but I could still get him to think for himself. He didn't like it when Hojo hurt me, and Hojo hurt me when I'd try to meddle with his game. So, when he hurt me to stop me from meddling, he was actually helping with making Seph realize that Hojo was the bad guy, and shouldn't be trusted. But Hojo's not stupid, I guess. He'd… start to keep us separated from each other.

"At first he'd used me for some tests too, but as days went on, he'd leave me alone and just mess with Seph. They'd seen him with his camera, and took it away from him. But not before he could hide the film. In the bag, I guess. That's… pretty much all I've remembered so far. Maybe my mind isn't capable of taking it all in at once…"

"How can… how can you be so cool about this?" Zack asked, trying very hard not to scream. It had taken all his restrain not to call the blond cold. Especially now when the spellcaster chuckled, even if there was no mirth in his voice.

"If I'd let this get to me, right now, I'd start to scream, and I don't think I'd be able to stop anytime soon. I can't break right now." Cloud pointed ahead of them, where the fort and the hill it rested on were clearly in sight already. Zack started when he saw it, he hadn't realized they were that close already. Looking to the right, they could spot movement in the horizon. ShinRa troops, most likely. The chocobos picked up speed at their rider's command.

* * *

The troops at the Fort were keeping a close eye on the ShinRa troops when the two Peacemakers made it to the top of the hill. Catapults were dragged to their perches, barricades built and moats dug. The enemy was well within sight now, and as they made their way up to the top of the hill, Cloud and Zack could see the last of them reach the first lines. The ShinRa army was arranging itself to several rows of tents.

"I'd say there's no more than a thousand of them." Zack estimated when they'd reached the top. "But there are only 200 of our guys in the area, if that. Shit. I guess ShinRa is serious."

Cloud nodded, agreeing. "Well, it's not like we get a choice in this. We have to fight."

"It's not that bad, like I said, only a few men can get up the hill at once. You saw the paths yourself just now." The fighter didn't seem too worried.

"Hmh. I still say we should gather some oil. Boiling water works as well."

"You're a cruel little man, you know that?" Zack said with a smirk as they gave the reins of their chocobos to one of the Fort soldiers. They were told that they were already expected at the top of the Fort tower, so Zack lead the way in.

The view from the tower was marvelous; Cloud suspected that on a clear day they'd be able to see the island where Mideel was. Now a cold mist hung over the horizon, and everyone's eyes were on the approaching army anyway.

"The first appeared here this morning. I'd say there are between 800 and 900 of them…" were the first words from a tall man standing on a high window sill at the top of the tower. He hadn't bothered to turn around to greet them, his eyes and binoculars trained on the army.

"Yeah, that's our guess as well." Zack said with a nod and sat down on a small chair next to an equally small table. The room was little more than a crow's nest for keeping guard. Still, the table top and the walls were covered with maps and other notes. Cloud went to stand next to the man at the window, looking down at the armies. The man only then turned to look at him.

"You must be spellcaster Strife? Master Ranael told us to expect you and Lindeman. Wasn't expecting you so soon, but by the looks of it you're just in time."

"We managed to catch a boat here right away." Zack explained as the man leaned over to shake hands with Cloud.

"Good. We're about ready here. I just hope they're going to attack and not just keep us here, blocked from the rest of the world. If they do that, they'll eventually drive us into attacking them, and then we'll be in trouble."

"Hadn't thought of that…" Cloud muttered, glancing over his shoulder at Zack. The fighter didn't seem too worried.

"I dunno. Old man ShinRa ain't too patient. And he's been known to be a ruthless and demanding guy. He could just order his troops to attack, and they'd have to do it. No matter if the soldiers know that they're toast if they try to attack the hill, no matter their numbers. And anyway…"

Both Cloud and the man at the window had turned to look at him now. Zack grinned and pointed at Cloud. "We got a top notch spellcaster on our side now. Did you know that this is the guy who helped keep Wutai out of ShinRa's hands?"

The man raised an eyebrow and gave Cloud an approving look. "I'd heard something like it. Well then. Guess we got nothing to worry about. There's some grub in the kitchens if you're hungry. Take a break, we have a strategy meeting in two hours." He turned back to staring at the army then. Zack got up and motioned for Cloud to follow him down the stairs and into the bowels of the hill. Every now and then the fighter would greet someone he knew, including the kitchen staff. Cloud followed him quietly until they found places to sit in the mess hall. The soldiers who weren't working outside or training seemed to be eating or resting all around the place. It reminded the spellcaster of an anthill, and made him feel slightly claustrophobic. There were no windows this deep in the hill, just dim lamps casting off yellow light, making the small spaces seem even smaller, the thick stone walls even thicker.

"You seem to know everyone." Cloud said to take his mind off from the feeling of being suffocated by the surrounding stone. Zack laughed and dug into his stew.

"What can I say; I get around."

"Looks like it. What was his name?"

"Whose?"

"The guy at the tower. He didn't say. And it's faster to call him by his name in battle, if need be, than 'Hey, you with the black hair, you who like standing in windows'."

The fighter laughed so hard he almost chocked on his food. "Yeah, he can be a bit rude like that. You can call him Jasper. I bet you two'd get along great, having loooong conversations of saying nothing."

"Ha ha. Eat up, maybe it'll make you actually funny. Besides, I want to get a look at the back of the hill as well." 'If only to get out of here…' the spellcaster finished only in his thoughts. ShinRa better attack soon; he wasn't looking forward to being huddled in the anthill with a few hundred other people.

"Ok. The back is pretty much impossible to climb, though, it's not likely they'll try to get up that way."

"Still. I like to know my surroundings. You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"Nah, I'll come with you. Aeris would kill me if I let something happen to you. She said so." Zack added the last bit when Cloud looked suspicious.

"Funny. She said the same thing to me."

"Heh. Well then we just better stick together, we don't want to mess with her."

"Yeah. She might beat us up with her flowers."

"That would hurt if she decided to go with roses. Hey, I bet you could use a really thorny rose as a means of torture. Imagine inserting it to-"

"Zack! Just eat, ok?"

"Hey, at least I'm not obsessed about pouring hot oil on people."

Zack was still grinning when they walked out of the kitchen area and up to the top of the hill. The back of the Fort was very uneven, they almost fell more than once while walking around it. Still, there were a few ShinRa scouts on the bottom of the hill. Cloud stopped to watch them, and Zack wanted to tease them by tossing small rocks on them.

"Don't be an idiot."

"It's not like they can see us up here. And they can't get up, I've been down there and tried to climb it once. It's impossible without some serious climbing gear."

"I don't know…" Cloud still wasn't convinced, but followed the fighter when Zack started to walk again. The taller man stopped abruptly when shouts of surprise and pain carried into his ears from the ground level. Looking down he saw the scouts running or rolling around, smoking.

"What the…" Zack looked to Cloud who gave him a quick smirk. "What, I can't toss pebbles on them but you can set their pants on fire?"

"Just want to make sure they don't get any ideas."

The strategy meeting was uneventful, the soldiers mostly discussed the same issues the two Peacemakers had already gone over with Jasper. Their own scouts had confirmed that the ShinRa army numbered no more than a bit over 800 heads. One Fort soldier to four ShinRa men. Everyone agreed that the odds seemed good, with the terrain on their side. If ShinRa decided to attack. It was nearing nightfall already, and it wasn't likely that they'd try anything that day, as the terrain was near impossible to negotiate without proper light. So, much to Cloud's horror, the army was sent to bed with the warning to be ready to fight in case ShinRa would start something during the night. Not likely, but still a possibility.

Zack, who knew the place, started to head for the lower levels again to find beds for them after calling master Ranael to give him a brief report. The spellcaster followed him reluctantly, not looking forward to having to sleep inside the stone walls. He could imagine the total darkness of the place once the lights were turned off, the earth around them making noises as if a living thing.

Cloud stopped in his tracks and quickly blurted out that he'd go and join the group keeping watch. Zack started to object but the spellcaster was already almost running up a staircase towards the top of the hill. The fighter pondered for a moment if he should go after Cloud, but decided to at least find a bed first.

Once Zack had managed to secure a bed in the crowded barracks near the kitchens, he started to make his way back up to make sure the spellcaster was ok, and to let him know where to find him. He figured that they could take turns in sleeping, so that either of them would be up all through the night. The fighter was almost ready to give up and head to bed when he finally almost stumbled over the spellcaster, out in the courtyard.

Cloud was sitting underneath a dim lantern, covered so that the light only reached the area directly beneath it. With him were three Fort soldiers, and they were apparently playing a game of cards. Zack felt a stab of disappointment over missing their fun, and even a bit jealous; Cloud was having fun without him. But he discarded that thought as utterly silly, and approached the small group. Crouching beside the spellcaster he took a look of his cards and grinned. Two of the other players immediately folded their hands in defeat.

"Zack…" Cloud growled out a warning and turned to look at the grinning fighter.

"Man, are you gonna lose…"

"Weren't you supposed to be in bed?"

"I wanted to let you know where I am, so you can find me when the watch changes. Figured one of us should be up through the night." Zack explained while the others swore and laughed.

Cloud shrugged and tossed his cards to the ground. The last man holding cards picked them all up and started to shuffle the pack. "It's ok, you can keep the bed. I'll find somewhere to sleep up here. Don't wanna stumble over half the army while trying to find you."

"Uh, ok. If you're sure."

"Yeah. You didn't sleep much last night. I'll take a nap later on."

"Ok then. Good night, Cloud, guys." Zack stood up and started to head back towards the barracks, a little puzzled over his friend's strange behaviour. But he reminded himself that what was odd for someone else was normal behaviour to Cloud.

**-x-x-x-**

Cloud had spent the last few days away from Sephiroth, locked away in a small room. The light in the hall hurt his eyes when he was eventually taken out, and dragged into his small cage, to be locked in like an animal. It took him a long time to get used to the light and the coolness of the air. The room had been so small that the air in it had soon grown almost uncomfortably warm. At times he'd been worried that he'd suffocate.

But he had survived, and was with his lover again. Cloud forced his eyes open despite the pain and the tears, and turned to look at the general.

Sephiroth was asleep in his own cage, leaning against the cold iron bars. Limp as a discarded doll. Cloud's chest felt too tight for breath when he saw the new scars and needle marks on his lover. The general's skin was paler than it should be, the hollows under his eyes deeper than he remembered.

"Oh, Seph… what is he doing to you?" Cloud whispered, and scooted inside the cage as close to Sephiroth's as possible. If he reached out as far as he could, squeezed his shoulder so far between the bars that it hurt, he could just catch a lock of the silvery hair with his fingers. The spellcaster leaned back, pulling his hand and the hairs with it back into the cage. He wanted to wake Sephiroth up, get him to talk, tell him how much he loved him, assure him that Hojo was full of it. But looking at the peaceful face, he couldn't.

Deciding that he'd only wake his lover if he'd have a bad dream, Cloud sat back, and twirled the tips of his lover's hairs between his fingers. He had wreaked his brain day after day, trying to come up with a way to break free. But the only thing that seemed even near possible would be to kill everyone in the place after he was taken out of his cage. Not at once, though; first he'd just have to kill enough people to be able to get Seph out of his cage safely. Then they could take their time killing everyone else who stood on their way to freedom.

"We just have to wait for the right moment. Hang on until that. Just hang on. Please, Seph, hang on. Please…" he brought the hairs to his face, smelling their familiar fragrance, even if it was masked with the smell of sweat, blood and dirt. "We're gonna get out of here, and bathe. Wash all of this from our skins." It would be far less easy to wash the memories away, but he knew that they would fade in time. He'd lived with enough bad memories that he knew it well.

But good memories faded as well. Cloud looked up at Sephiroth, praying that the memories of their love would never fade.

The one memory regarding Sephiroth that he could stand to lose was the look in his eyes just before Cloud had been locked in the small room. It was just after Hojo had discovered that they were lovers. The spellcaster had been whispering to Sephiroth, telling the general how much he loved him, when the scientist had walked in. Cloud hadn't noticed it, too immersed with his lover, in keeping Sephiroth his. He feared so much that Hojo's meddling would eventually change the general's mind, make him believe the lies the scientist told. So far he had managed to remind Sephiroth of who he really was, but it was getting harder and harder. There wasn't much time; he'd have to break out, and fast. He couldn't be sure, but he believed that they'd been Hojo's prisoners for several weeks now. Must have been near two months.

He'd been whispering affirmations of his unending love to Sephiroth, trying to pour the emotion of all those words through his eyes as well, when Hojo had walked right next to his cage, close enough to hear. The scientist had immediately become enraged, and had his assistants throw Cloud into the small cell again. But the spellcaster had hung to the bars of his cage, staring desperately at Sephiroth, screaming that he loved him, begging the general to remember the truth.

Once they'd managed to tear him loose from the bars, Sephiroth had finally looked up to his lover. Cloud had almost cried when there was no emotion in the look.

That was a few days ago, and Cloud had spent those days in the dark cell, the memory of that look painted bright before his eyes. But he wouldn't give up. No matter what Hojo did, he believed he could make Sephiroth remember the truth. He had to believe it, or everything would be lost. If Sephiroth believed Hojo, if he would forget his own spellcaster, who belonged to him, body and soul, what reason would there be for Cloud to go on?

"What indeed…" the spellcaster muttered and twirled the hairs again. His eyes followed the silvery threads, and he started when his eyes met the general's green ones. Sephiroth was awake, and staring at him. Cloud, surprised and relieved, smiled and scooted closer again.

"Seph… how are you?"

The general stared at him sleepily, blinking his brilliant green eyes. Cloud forced himself to stay calm when there was no immediate recognition in the eyes, no welcoming smile. It took a while these days, but Sephiroth would soon remember him, recognize his lover.

"Did Hojo do something to you?" A stupid question; of course Hojo had done something. But it was a way to remind the general that Hojo was the bad guy, the one hurting them.

"Sephiroth?" Cloud couldn't keep his voice steady when there was still no emotion in the green eyes. Sephiroth was staring straight at him, almost unblinking now. "Love?"

Cloud let go of the silver hair, and they both watched as the threads fell slowly to Sephiroth's side, to join with their brethren. The spellcaster lifted his eyes back to his lover's then. Sephiroth stared back again.

Cloud stopped breathing when the general opened his mouth. He had no idea what to expect anymore.

"… Liar."

**-x-x-x-**

Zack had told another member of the first watch that he wouldn't mind taking the second watch, but it was morning outside when he was shook awake. It was always dark inside the hill, but the man going around the barracks waking everyone informed him that it was morning, and that ShinRa was on the move.

Once the troops were up and out, Zack could see that it was still very early in the morning. The Fort soldiers were watching the army below while eating some breakfast. ShinRa's army was indeed up and moving; they were spreading into a crescent shape around the front of the hill. Zack frowned and made his way up to the tower, where Jasper was on his spot, staring out of the window. Zack leaned out as well, scanning the area quickly.

"You think they're going to attack?"

"Looks like it." Jasper commented quietly and spoke a few quick commands into his radio. "Where's your friend?"

"I've no idea, haven't found him yet."

"I want him in the back, at least until we see how bad this is going to get. You'll go out with the attackers?"

"Yeah, sure." Zack said with a nod and checked his sword. "I'll find Cloud and head on out. This'll be easy."

"Hope so…" Jasper muttered as Zack started to run back downstairs.

Luckily he found Cloud standing on one of the large boulders around the main courtyard. The spellcaster was checking his materia and keeping an eye on the army below. Zack took a moment to see that ShinRa hadn't started the ascend yet, but the troops were closing in.

"Hey. Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Yeah. What's the plan?"

"You're to stay back until we see what's going on with ShinRa. I'll head out with the soldiers."

Cloud shrugged, quite familiar with such a plan. "All right. Be careful down there."

"Hey, no worries. As long as ShinRa don't drag us out to the fields, it's gonna be ok." Zack flashed him a bright smile and hopped off the boulder to join the fighters. "You just watch our backs."

"Will do…" Cloud muttered, fastening his materia bangle tighter.

Zack quickly found the first wave of the defenders, and they briefly discussed strategy while watching ShinRa's army. They were near the bottom of the hill now, but hadn't yet made one move up towards the Fort. The defenders still started to head down the hill, to make sure the attackers wouldn't get high, and to protect the catapult crews who were already at their weapons.

Once the fighter was out of sight, Cloud let out a long sigh and sat down, hoping that everything would indeed be ok. He did have faith in the defenders and believed that they'd beat ShinRa, but it didn't mean that they'd survive without casualties. And the fact that he had the feeling that something wasn't quite right wouldn't leave him. He couldn't put his finger on what felt so wrong, though, and it was annoying. So no matter what his own eyes and Zack had told him, he suspected that ShinRa would try to attack from the back. It wasn't likely, so that's exactly why he thought that it would happen. He'd mentioned it to the men he'd played poker with last night, and they'd agreed to the possibility and reassured him that there would be men keeping an eye on the back of the hill as well.

Minutes inched by and ShinRa kept off the hill. The defenders tried to stay patient, even if the suspicion that ShinRa would keep them trapped on the hill until they gave up or starved was spreading between the groups of fighters. Cloud wandered to the back of the hill every now and then, just to ease his own mind, but there were no attackers there, just the occasional scout. The spellcaster got so bored that he even called master Ranael on the PHS to let the Peacemakers know of the situation. He was told that a few more members of the group were heading to Fort Condor, just to be sure that they could keep ShinRa off the hill. The master offhandedly mentioned that ShinRa scouts had been spotted around the Icicle Inn area, and that a group of Peacemakers were heading there as well. The master suspected that ShinRa wouldn't have enough men to attack both places at once, but it was better to make sure.

Once he'd closed the PHS, the feeling that something was wrong grew even stronger. Too restless to sit still, Cloud got up and wandered towards the back of the hill again. ShinRa were sitting still, the defenders waiting. It was almost noon already. Sun was shining behind the last wisps of mist, and the spring day was getting warm. Despite the two armies gathered, the world seemed so peaceful.

But something was wrong with the picture. Cloud just couldn't put his finger on it. "I bet you'd figure it out immediately…" he muttered quietly, thinking of his dead lover. He leaned his back against the stone wall of the Fort, running everything he knew of the situation again through his mind. The wind howled in his ears, throwing his bright spikes of hair around. Below him a ShinRa scout rode past on a chocobo.

Noon passed without any incidents. Cloud was growing so frustrated that he almost started to bang his head against the stone wall. The flapping of the wind in his ears was annoying him further.

Wait… wind didn't flap…

Cloud blinked and shook his head, paying more attention to his surroundings. Wind didn't flap, but something somewhere nearby certainly did. He pushed himself off the wall and leaned over to look to the bottom of the hill, but there was nothing there. Looking up he could see a guard on the higher levels of the Fort, looking out into the horizon. He was too far for Cloud to tell if he was hearing it too. Frowning, the spellcaster got down to his hands and knees and crawled closer to the edge of the cliff to look down.

Nothing.

No. Wait.

Nothing solid. But there was something there. The air between him and the earth below was shimmering. There was something there, something hidden by magic. Cloud started to get up and opened his mouth to shout a warning to the guards when the dragon hiding behind the magic appeared not twenty feet from his face, and opened its maw to spit fire at him. Cloud's shout of warning turned into a shriek of horror as he stumbled backwards as quickly as he could to avoid the fire. Thinking fast he called a wall spell around himself and concentrated on throwing an Ice spell on the fire-breathing creature which was flapping its wings and rising higher. The guards above had noticed it, and bullets, spells and arrows were already flying towards the creature. Cloud could hear the voices of soldiers coming towards him, and soon bullets were flying from his right as well. He didn't take the time to turn and see the other men; killing the dragon was his top priority. He threw more spells at it, trying to keep the creature's attention on himself. He could shield himself against its attacks, but he wasn't sure that the others could.

Oh what joy, the dragon realized that he was its worst enemy, and spat a volley of fire on him. Cloud groaned as his shields held against the battering. The dragon was strong, but between his spells and the soldier's attacks, it wouldn't last long. Hopefully.

His shield was about to give up entirely, one ball of fire had already pushed through and given him a nasty burn on his leg before the dragon gave up and flew off. Cloud breathed a sigh of relief and dropped to the ground, quickly healing himself. The guards were shouting something, and as he turned to his right Cloud saw that the soldiers who had come to his aid were hurrying back to the front of the fort. One of them ran to him and helped him up.

"The attack started." The man told him before running after the others. Cloud groaned and took off after him, his injured leg complaining slightly even after the healing spell. So the dragon had been just a distraction. But how had ShinRa managed to get a dragon onto their side?

The battle was full on on the other side. ShinRa had ascended up the hill, and were fighting the defenders furiously, shooting and throwing spells at the footmen and the catapults. Cloud swore when he saw that one catapult was already down. He swore more when he heard someone report that ShinRa's first line were all Soldiers, far stronger and faster than normal humans, their physique altered with Mako. ShinRa wasn't playing with them after all. This was serious.

Somewhat ignoring the command to stay behind, Cloud made his way to a spot further down the hill, to a boulder from where he could see the fight better. A few soldiers followed him, to make sure he'd be safe while throwing his spells. And that was exactly what Cloud did for the next few minutes, aiming and throwing his more powerful spells at the enemy lines. The sudden attack surprised the ShinRa Soldiers and the line immediately fell back, giving the Fort soldiers some more space to move and to get a new catapult into position. The spellcaster couldn't do much, though, the fight with the dragon had taken so much energy and so many spells. Swearing at his inability to help the fighters he was about to pick up his sword and jump into the fray, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. Looking up he saw Jasper, covered with mismatched pieces of armour. Now that he finally saw the man face to face he noticed that his eyes were completely black, and sharp as a hawk's.

"You stay back here. We'll need your spells more than your sword. Take it easy and gather your strength."

"… Yes, sir." Cloud was about to object, but he did understand the man's reasoning. The Fort had only a few spellcasters, no one as gifted as he was. So he sat back and concentrated, trying to relax to regain his mana faster. Jasper nodded and left, walking fast back to the top of the hill.

ShinRa Soldiers could fight, and their stamina was something a normal human could barely understand. Cloud had fought many of them during the Wutai war, and even if he had never fought one alone, the fights had been long and hard. He was eager to get back to throwing spells, just to be able to do something to help, and cursed the dragon. Had ShinRa known somehow that he'd be there? No, it wasn't likely. It was more likely that the dragon had been sent into the fight to distract and kill as many men as possible. It had been sheer luck that he'd been there, to stop the creature before it could wreak havoc on the Fort.

Cloud's eyes shot open when he realized that the dragon hadn't died. It had just flown off. It might return. He stood up and explained his worry to one of the soldiers, who nodded and took off immediately towards the Fort. The dragon had been wounded severely, so if it returned it could probably be taken care of quite easily. But it could still do a lot of damage before it got close enough for the bullets to do any damage.

"Shiva's icy ass, Seph, how did you manage this year after year…" Cloud muttered and leaned against a boulder, watching the fighting below him. The Soldiers were still going strong, the troops behind them didn't have to do much. ShinRa could easily fight for a long time with just a few men like that.

Cloud stayed on his high perch for the rest of the day, watching the battle and throwing spells every time he had regained enough mana to do so. From so high he recognized ShinRa's every effort to pull the battle down to ground level, where they'd have the upper hand. Luckily the front line recognized the attack patterns early enough as well and didn't follow, keeping the main bulk of the fighting on the hillside. The catapults and spells had managed to make large holes into the ShinRa's lines, and even the number of Soldiers had thinned by the time the troops pulled back for good. Fresh troops headed down the hill to make sure ShinRa wouldn't try anything while the front lines climbed up. Those of them who could still walk. Too many were carried up, and too many never came back. Cloud waited patiently on his perch, leaving it only to heal some of the more serious injuries. Luckily he didn't have to wait in vain; Zack climbed up among the last of the front lines. He was bruised and bloody all over, but didn't seem too hurt as he greeted the spellcaster with a wide grin.

"Hey Cloudy, had fun?"

"Time of my life…" Cloud muttered dryly and joined the fighter. Zack threw a sweaty arm across his shoulders and squeezed him tight.

"That's the spirit. I think we better get in touch with the masters, and let them know what's going on. I hope the others will get here soon. I mean, we can handle it, sure, but I wouldn't mind a few more strong hands."

"Yeah, we definitely need more spellcasters. I was out of spells for most of the fights."

"Don't worry about it. When you were bombing the bad guys, they went down like bugs under a boot."

"I just wish I could do more."

"Well, you can always heal the wounded." Zack said as they reached the top of the hill. The courtyard was almost full with the wounded and dying. Cloud sighed and got to work with the other spellcasters and healers while Zack headed up to the tower, after stealing the PHS from Cloud's belt.

The rest of the night was mostly quiet. The dragon hadn't returned, and ShinRa didn't try to attack again. They stayed far enough from the hill that the defenders would have to get down on even ground to attack.

"Smart buggers." Zack swore and yawned as he and Cloud sat on a boulder, staring down at the army. There were campfires all around, far more than the army left would need. A simple strategy to try to unnerve the troops on the hill. "Master Ranael said that the others should be here tomorrow. I suppose they'll attack from the back. Three spellcasters and two fighters. This'll be a piece of cake. I only saw a few Soldiers, basically just the front line. The rest are normal troops. They'll fall or surrender easily."

"Hmh." Cloud just commented, too tired to voice his regret at such senseless killing.

"Ok, that's it. I'm taking you to bed." Zack said with a grin and stood up. Cloud perked up immediately.

"It's ok, I'm not tired."

"Bullshit. You've been throwing spells and healing all day. Come on. You'll need your strength for tomorrow." Zack started to tug him up but Cloud refused to budge.

"Zack…"

"The beds are reeeeal comf'table…" the fighter said with a grin, "makes me sleepy just thinking about them."

"Zack. Let me go. I can take care of myself."

"Then take your ass down to the barracks or I'll have to get nasty."

"No."

"Why not?"

"It's too crowded down there."

"No, a lot of people are gonna stay up here."

"Then so will I."

"Cloud…"

"Don't worry, I'll find a place to sleep in."

"What's wrong with the beds?"

"Nothing. I just like it up here, ok?"

"All right. I'll trust you to get some rest, so you won't do anything stupid tomorrow."

Cloud gave him a look that bordered on insulted. "Zack. I've been in battles before. I'm not an idiot. Go and get some rest. I'll do the same. Up. Here."

"All right." Zack said, raising his hands in defeat. "Whatever you say."

* * *

Next day the battles started before the crack of dawn. Troops had waited at the lower levels of the hill just in case of that. Zack had just been woken by the alarm when the PHS he'd forgotten into his pocket started to ring. Surprised at such an early call, he answered to hear Ranael's voice. The master was fast in informing him that the help should be arriving soon, and that Icicle Inn had been attacked last night, and was now under siege. ShinRa was behind it, of course. Zack couldn't stop to figure out what ShinRa was after as he followed the soldiers up to the top of the hill.

By the time Zack got out, the fighting was already on. He swore as he saw it from the courtyard, and started to make his way down to the bottom of the hill. Halfway down, far lower than he liked, he spotted Cloud, sending lightning bolts down on ShinRa troops. The fighter ran to him and tossed Cloud the PHS, as the spellcaster would be able to answer it better than him. Cloud gave him a quick nod, not turning away from watching the battle. Zack just hoped he'd had enough rest. He didn't get a chance to ask, nor to worry about the spellcaster once he joined the battle.

This time Cloud controlled his spellcasting so that he wouldn't be left without mana at any point. He should have realized it already yesterday, but the battle had been so fierce and so sudden that he'd just forgotten all strategies. Two soldiers were protecting him again, and using their guns to aid the fighters below. They were high enough and protected by boulders so that ShinRa bullets didn't reach them.

It was afternoon already when the spellcaster was surprised as the PHS which he'd quickly shoved into his pocket started to ring. He had to ask for the two soldiers to stop shooting and cover his other ear with his hand to hear anything. Luckily the message was short and clear. With a relieved sigh, Cloud asked one of the soldiers to run up to inform people that the other five Peacemakers were there, they'd be attacking ShinRa's troops from the side in a matter of minutes, and try to make their way up the hill. Three spellcasters could cause a lot of damage before the enemy could even reach them. The soldier grinned from ear to ear as he shot up the hill, leaving Cloud with the other soldier.

"ShinRa's going down today." The female soldier said with a wicked grin when they were alone. Cloud nodded and aimed a Flame just behind the front line.

From halfway up the hill they could see the change in the battle once the Peacemakers joined it, somewhere behind the hill's right side from where they were standing. Cloud dared to come closer to the edge to see how the regular ShinRa troops suddenly retreated. The Soldiers kept their positions, but when ice-storms and bolts of fire started to rain on them, not to mention the fact that pretty much everyone behind them were running like headless chocobos, the professional fighters saw it best to retreat as well. The Fort soldiers cheered, and some even started to chase ShinRa troops away before the commanders got them under control.

"That was impressive." The soldier with Cloud commented. The spellcaster nodded, frowning.

"Yes. But… I know that they're ShinRa troops, but I still had expected that they'd stay and fight, not run like that at the first sight of trouble. Something's wrong here."

"Well, I don't mind the breather…" the woman commented with a shrug. Cloud, still frowning, jumped off the boulder and headed down the hill, towards the cheering troops and the approaching Peacemakers. Two of the spellcasters were still throwing spells at the retreating enemy. The fighters were dragging with them a few ShinRa troopers.

Cloud nearly tripped over Zack, who was lying on his back on the ground, eyes closed. The spellcaster knelt beside him immediately, searching to see where his friend was hurt.

"Zack? Can you hear me?" To his relief, the violet eyes opened immediately, and the fighter grinned.

"Sure, why couldn't I?" then he seemed to realize he was lying on a battlefield. "Oh, damn. I'm ok, just relieved that it's over. You ok?"

"Yeah. Don't scare me like that again. Jerk." Cloud muttered and helped the chuckling fighter up. They stood side by side as the five other Peacemakers approached them. Fort troops were already heading down the hill, to take the wounded up and to keep an eye on the enemy.

"You guys got here just in time!" Zack hollered as soon as the group was within hearing distance.

"We aim to please." One of the spellcasters shouted back, making people around them laugh. The tension of the battle had eased immediately, and the soldiers were applauding at the new group, patting their backs.

Zack was surprised when he recognized two of the group; Cloud's old roommate, Josin, and one of the fighters, Deren, who had known Sephiroth and helped in searching Cloud. The redheaded spellcaster hugged his old friend a bit awkwardly. Deren bowed at the two of them, and pushed forward the trooper he'd caught.

"Nice to see you again, sir. I think we'd better have a chat with these fellows as soon as possible."

"Yeah, this doesn't smell right." The other fighter said, also dragging a crying trooper with her.

Zack frowned and leaned closer. "Is he really crying?"

"Yes."

"I'd be too if I'd just been caught by such bad-asses." One of the Fort soldiers commented, making people laugh again.

"Let's go up to the Fort." Cloud said, nodding his head towards the top of the hill. He wasn't liking this at all.

Once at the top of the hill, the seven Peacemakers, Jasper and some other commanders gathered around the two very nervous prisoners, who had been tied down to chairs. They seemed more likely to pass out of fear than run away, or try to attack their captors. And even though the regular soldiers were cheering outside, the people with the prisoners were far from happy as they tried to figure out what was going on.

"This guy's… Odin's lance, how old are you, son?" one of the commanders was questioning the prisoner who wasn't crying. The boy, who couldn't possibly be even near 18 refused to answer.

"You don't have to try and act brave, kid. Just tell us." Zack said, trying his brightest smile on the young man, but he wouldn't even look at the fighter.

"… No wonder they ran off at the sight of us." Josin said as he lifted the helmet off the crying soldier, revealing an even younger boy. "They're children."

"Please don't kill meee…" the crying boy managed between sobs.

"No-one's going to hurt you. Just tell us what we need to know, and we'll let you go." Jasper said. No one bothered to question his words. It wasn't like these children could cause them any harm.

"Why is ShinRa sending children to war?" Another commander asked but got no answer besides a few sobs.

"And were they all children, except for the Soldiers?" Cloud asked the one question which no one else had dared to ask. Had they spent two days fighting and killing innocent children?

"I want to go home…" the younger boy whispered in the heavy silence that fell over the room.

* * *

The two boys were taken to the kitchen where they were fed, and then to the barracks where they could rest. They hadn't said anything more, and Jasper had decided that they wouldn't bother them more right then. The revelation had been a shock to everyone, and the commanders retreated with Jasper to talk on what they'd do now. Zack, two of the spellcasters and both fighters joined them. The third magic-user had offered to take care of the boys, and Cloud had decided not to join the meeting, too disturbed by the findings.

They had reasoned that the whole army couldn't have been children; they'd fought hard enough. But until their prisoners would choose to talk, they'd assume that the troopers behind the front lines, the ones engaged in the battles, were more or less children. Zack had immediately contacted the masters, letting them know. Icicle Inn was still under attack, and it was likely that the situation was the same over there.

"It would explain why the Soldiers fought so hard… guess they wanted to keep the kids safe." Zack whispered quietly when he finally found the blond spellcaster. Night was falling, the meeting was over, and ShinRa had lit its army of fires down in the valley. Cloud just nodded.

"We… if they attack, we have to fight. But we decided that… until we figure this out… we'll only fight the Soldiers. If we have to fight anyone else, we'll try to just, you know… knock them out. And no more spells."

Cloud nodded again, staring at the horizon. Zack looked over the courtyard, at the soldiers who were more or less calmly celebrating the successful battle, and trading stories.

"Man… I wouldn't want to be in the commander's shoes tomorrow… they have to tell these guys what's been going on. I mean… it's not likely that they were all kids. It could be that ShinRa just let a few slip, to make a bigger group of them. But… shit, I don't want to think about it anymore." Zack shook his head and fell on his back. "I wish the kids would talk."

The two hadn't moved from their spots an hour later when Josin joined them.

"Hey. I need to talk with you two."

Zack sat up, giving him a weary smile. Cloud nodded and motioned for the spellcaster to sit down.

"Eska, the spellcaster… he apparently put some sort of spell on the two boys, and talked with them while they were eating. He just told us what the kids told him."

Cloud and Zack both inched closer, almost afraid to hear what Josin would say.

"Apparently things aren't as bad as we thought. Of the 800 ShinRa soldiers, only about 200 were children younger than 18. But they're anything from 10 to 18. And of the 800, only about 150 were actually trained soldiers. The rest were peasants, people from the slums. They were either paid or threatened to join the army and come here."

"What the hell?" Zack said after Josin had fallen quiet. "That's it?"

"That's what the kids knew, from their own experiences and rumours in the army." The spellcaster said with a shrug.

"I don't get it… did ShinRa think that the Soldiers and the big number of attackers would be enough to win this battle?" Zack muttered.

"I suspect so." Josin said.

"And it's likely that the situation is the same up in Icicle…" the fighter laid back down on the cold boulder. "Shit, this is fucked up. Why would they do that?"

"The question is… what's ShinRa after?" Cloud finally joined the conversation. "Does he want the Fort and Icicle Inn? Or is he just trying to distract us from something else?"

"And how the hell can we figure out what they're up to until they make their move?" Zack said with a groan, rubbing his face with his hands.

"I don't think the regular troops, or even the Soldiers will have any idea." Josin whispered. "They're just been sent here."

"So we can't do anything, except keep the Fort from their hands, and hope that we don't kill too many innocents…" Zack reasoned. "I think I'm getting a headache."

"We should all try to rest. There's a meeting early tomorrow morning, and after that, the troops will be informed about the situation. Let's hope ShinRa won't try to attack before that."

"Yeah. Hopefully you guys scared them enough that all the kids will run off during the night."

Silence fell over them after Zack's comment. Josin was the first to leave towards the barracks. Zack got up a bit after him, asking Cloud with a nod of his head if he was coming, but the spellcaster said he'd sleep outside. Zack was too tired to argue, and headed for bed. Cloud sat still for near an hour more before finding a safe spot to sleep in.

**-x-x-x-**

Sephiroth wouldn't believe him anymore. No matter what he said, how much he pleaded, even cried, it made no difference to the general. Hojo had managed to change him.

First Cloud tried to convince himself that Sephiroth was just acting to make Hojo trust him enough to let him out, give him a chance to escape. But when days went by and turned to weeks with no change in the general, no conspiratory smile or nod towards him, not even an inkling of emotion, it got harder and harder for Cloud to hang on to his conviction. Sephiroth was his no longer. Hojo had won.

He still tried to remind Sephiroth of the truth, kept pleading with him to believe, to remember the truth. He couldn't accept that it would end like this. It just couldn't. He couldn't let Hojo win like this.

The scientist seemed to disagree. He would let Sephiroth out of the cage more these days, and there were far fewer syringes and far less tying the general to the steel table. Hojo would just talk to the silver-haired man. Sephiroth sometimes asked questions, and the older man was thrilled to answer each and every one in great detail. And Cloud was forced to listen. The lies and how eagerly Sephiroth believed them made him cry.

"Who are you?" Sephiroth would ask.

"I am your father, my son." Hojo would answer.

"But... my father died when I was just a child." Sephiroth would remember.

"He was an impostor. They stole you from me, my child." Hojo would explain.

"Who is my mother?" Sephiroth would inquire.

"A woman named Lucrecia, a brilliant scientist." Hojo would show him an old photo.

"What about… the woman in Wutai?" Sephiroth wouldn't recognize the face in the photo.

"An impostor. She's the one who stole you from me." Hojo would insist.

"Why would she do that to me?" Sephiroth wouldn't understand.

"They were jealous of you. They wanted you for themselves. They couldn't stand to see our happiness." Hojo would smile when Sephiroth wouldn't notice.

"But…"

"You were born with such an inheritance. You are meant for such wondrous things. They wanted to stop it."

On and on it would go, minutes and hours and days and weeks; Hojo spinning his webs tighter and tighter around Sephiroth who could not escape anymore. Who was so wrapped in the lies that they were all around him, holding him prisoner. Hojo would lie so smoothly, answer every desperate question through a smile and shark teeth, lie and lie and lie and lie until Cloud couldn't take it anymore and then he'd start to scream and cry and curse and plead with Sephiroth who would stare at him with no emotion, like he was nothing. The assistants came then, of course, they wanted to take him away from Sephiroth, wanted him to shut up and be away from sight, away from the heart. But he wasn't so weak and small as they thought. He was a fighter after all. Only two men couldn't hold him for long, not if he really wanted to go to Sephiroth, and he really really did, nothing could stop him, not if he managed to punch one man in the throat like that and kick the other in the groin just like that, not if there was a scalpel nearby that so easily opened their throats before they could get up. The sharp, sharp knife slashed through flesh without stopping, it moved up to cut Hojo's chest, it made him bleed and scream so much, it made him fall down on the ground. Cloud could walk over him then, could finally be with Sephiroth.

"Seph… please… I love you…"

The green eyes blinked at him slowly, emotionless even if he had just cut through three men, even if he was standing on the still breathing body of the man who had claimed to be Sephiroth's father. There was no recognition, no regard for him. He was like air to Sephiroth. It wasn't just an act. The man he loved as gone.

The scalpel in his hand was so sharp, the edge of it so cold, the dark red of blood in such strong contrast with Sephiroth's pale skin. There was still no emotion, just a glitter of pain in the brilliant green of those twin pools which had stolen his soul, his heart.

No.

They hadn't stolen anything from him. He had willingly given everything he could to those eyes. And he knew that he would do it all again, in a heartbeat, for just one smile, one kiss, one touch. But there was already so much blood, no strength in the tall body to stay standing. Cloud fell as Sephiroth fell, and gathered the body into his arms as life left it. The green eyes stared up at him, still so cold, so empty.

Cloud stared as the thin, pale and bloody lips opened once more, for the last time. He leaned closer on pure instinct, disregarding Hojo's moans of pain, quiet cries for help. Sephiroth wanted to say something, he was watching with those green eyes Cloud had fallen so madly in love with the first time he'd seen then. There was no use claiming anything else, he had been in love with the man from the first moment. He just hadn't dared to admit it. It would have taken too much of his cold facade from him. But now it was safe to own up. Now there was no one but the two of them, and soon there would be none.

"Thank you, love…" Sephiroth whispered.

Once the green eyes closed, Cloud, still quiet, stood up and walked to the cages. He picked up his sword from the corner. He'd need it, he'd have to get out after all. He picked up the small bag Sephiroth had hidden. Maybe someone would find out, then, once they'd find his corpse. They'd figure out what had happened, and everything would be over.

Cloud walked, he simply walked out of the hall. There were no closed doors until the hatch to the outside world, and that was opened easily enough with his sword. He thought he could hear them, the ones he hadn't bothered to kill. Shouting, shooting, spells. But he was gone already, the shining world was before him.

They didn't come after him. His head hurt, and when he lifted a hand up to it he felt something wet and warm oozing out of his skin, down his neck, into the collar of his shirt. Since when was he wearing a shirt? Hadn't he been naked? Where had he been naked in? Where was he? Why was he carrying a bag? And a weapon? Why was his head hurting so?

What had happened?

Why was he shaking?

What…

**-x-x-x-**

"What?" Zack shot up from his bed when what Josin was telling him finally pierced the haze of sleep.

The spellcaster looked around in the crowded room, grimacing at the sleepy complaints of everyone Zack had just woken.

"ShinRa has attacked the Peacemakers headquarters. They have several dozen Soldiers and hundreds of regular troops. Fort, Icicle, they were just distractions from this, to draw as many of us out as possible. Those left there, they're in trouble. We have to go, now."

"Oh shit…" Zack rubbed at his face, not believing what he was hearing. This was just a dream, right? Just a stupid dream. Soon he would wake and go downstairs and tell Aeris, Elmyra and Cloud about it. Aeris would kiss him and Cloud would call him an idiot.

"Shit. Do the others know yet?"

"Yes. They're talking with the commanders, and trying to arrange some transportation. I haven't told Cloud yet, I came to see you first. I'm not sure where he's sleeping at."

"Up in the courtyard." Zack picked up his things and they hurried out in the darkness.

The moon and the stars above shone bright enough that they could easily make their way through the courtyard without stepping on anyone. A lot of people preferred to sleep outside, perhaps so that they could be ready in case of an attack.

Zack, in fact, had no idea where Cloud was sleeping, but when he stopped to look around he heard the whimpering. He had heard the spellcaster cry in his sleep several times before, and recognized the noise immediately. Swearing, he started towards the direction, Josin following him a bit slower.

"What's wrong?" The spellcaster asked, scared, once they reached Cloud. The blond was almost convulsing on the ground, crying and pleading and whimpering incoherently in his sleep.

"A nightmare. Looks like a bad one." Zack explained quickly before grabbing Cloud's shoulders not too gently and starting to shake him awake. "Come on, it's just a dream. Cloud, wake up."

The blond spellcaster let out a heartbreaking wail before finally opening his teary eyes.

"Cloud, it's ok. It was just a dream."

"No. It wasn't. And it's not ok. Nothing is ok. Everything is wrong. I know now. It's me." Cloud, nearing panic, babbled on. Zack shook him again, desperately.

"Come on, calm down. Cloud!"

"I did it, Zack…" Cloud said, eyes wide and shocked.

"Did what, Cloud?" Zack was starting to panic himself.

"Summon's sakes… I killed him."

.

* * *

**A.N.:** … Eh. Eheh. This is how it was meant to go from the start, but … woah. Please put the pitchforks and torches down… please?

I don't remember much of the Fort Condor –part of the game, and instead of me playing it again, you get a cameo of one of my reaaaaaally old characters. So, Jasper is mine.

J: "About time you remember that I exist."

Answers to reviews:

scarlettHuntress: I was kinda hoping they WOULD do something they'd regret, but that's just my own preference XD Thanks for the comment, and thanks so much for the comment on The Bet!

Beatrisu: Cookies! Muffins! CHOCOLATE! –melts- Sorry for taking so long with the chapter, especially after all these goodies. Hope I still deserve them after this one… -nervous grin-


	11. Chapter 10: Breaking

The author is squeeing in delight over the amount of reviews. Please leave your message after the beep. Thank you.

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* * *

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**Chapter Ten**

**Breaking**

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The sun was already rising when the small group of Peacemakers sneaked off the Fort Condor hill, hidden by a spell. ShinRa's army was up already, those that were left. But if ShinRa's intention had been to distract them from the attack at the headquarters, it wasn't likely that they'd try to attack the Fort anymore. Nor Icicle. The Fort's own troops could probably keep the hill, but one of the spellcasters still stayed back. The others had managed to arrange transportation to the northern continent with an airship owned by the family of a Peacemaker who was currently at the headquarters. There was no need to tell the pilot that they were in a hurry to get there.

Still, they could only go as fast as the airship could manage. The small group spent the flight resting and planning, and trying to contact anyone at the headquarters. No one would answer their calls.

"They may be busy fighting, or ShinRa may have some sort of a disturbance on them, so that they can't contact anyone." Deren voiced everyone's thoughts out loud. Except for the one no one wanted to consider: no one answered them because there was no one left.

"That's probably it." Josin agreed, nodding, forcing himself to believe it. "ShinRa has to know we're coming, from Icicle and Condor. They don't want us to find out what the situation is."

The other spellcaster, Eska, nodded as well. "If it's some sort of a magical shield, we can probably break it once we get near. If not, then we just have to dive in blind."

"Yeah, real smart that." The second fighter who had just yesterday arrived at the Fort said, rolling her eyes. Eska glared at her.

"I suppose you have a better idea, then?"

"Scout the area from above." The fighter said and knocked her knuckles on the metal wall of the airship. "You guys can use your spells."

"Well I thought that was obviously part of the plan." The spellcaster snapped back.

"Eska. Cinna. Calm down, please." Josin said, wondering how he'd ended up 'in charge'. He wasn't a particularly open person, and he almost hated attention. But in the circumstances at hand, it seemed that he was the only one able to keep his cool. He wished Zack was here; the spiky-headed man WAS the diplomat of the group after all. But Zack was keeping an eye on Cloud. The spellcaster twitched slightly when he remembered last night.

After they'd managed to wake Cloud up, the blond had babbled some nonsense for a while. Zack had tried to tell him that whatever it was, it was just a dream. But the spellcaster hadn't believed him, and as soon as they'd managed to get him up, Cloud…

Well, he'd started to run. In the darkness. Towards the back of the hill. Zack had taken off after him immediately, and managed to tackle the blond to the ground before he threw himself down the hill. The fighter had dragged the crying man back, and asked Josin to put him to sleep with magic. The redhead had obeyed, and they'd kept the blond in slumberland ever since.

Josin had no idea what had come over his old roommate, but he wished for both Cloud's and their sakes that it would pass. The Peacemakers would need everyone they had up at the headquarters.

* * *

Zack was pretty much running on empty. Two days of fighting behind him, plus the night of traveling before that. Only a few hours of sleep last night; the rest was spent trying to stop Cloud from killing himself and figuring out a way to get to the north as fast as possible. Now it was mid-morning, and his head was still buzzing with everything that had happened.

He tried to figure out what ShinRa was up to, but got nowhere past the fact that they obviously wanted to destroy the Peacemakers. .

He was worried about the people up north, but with ShinRa's interference there was no way to contact them.

And he had no idea what had gotten over Cloud, and there was no way to ask while they kept the blond asleep for his own safety.

"Shit… Seph? I could really use a hand here right about now." The fighter muttered, rubbing at his face and tired eyes. He needed rest but his head wouldn't let him sleep. With the speed they were flying, they'd be at the headquarters in the evening. And if ShinRa was still there, there'd be no time for resting.

He had been sitting on the edge of Cloud's bed, and now, frustrated, laid down next to the spellcaster. It was a sort of a comfort, feeling someone so close to him. The fighter sighed, realizing that he was missing Aeris' company. The flower girl had a knack of managing to talk sense to him, every time his own good sense wasn't enough to stop him from doing something stupid, or when he was as distressed as he was now. He knew that people tended to be blind to his insecurities, and frankly, that was how he preferred it. He didn't like to draw attention to his own worries. He knew that Seph had been like that as well, hiding a part of himself. Zack was open with people, so they didn't stop to think that he was hiding something.

But Aeris had seen that there was more to him that the easy-going smile and the strength to carry the worries of others on his shoulders. She hadn't said it out loud, not straight out at least, but she was telling him that it was ok to let people know that he was worried or scared as well. Zack doubted that he'd ever get used to it, but it was nice to have at least one person who knew that he wasn't as strong as he usually let on.

"Oh. Bugger." Zack groaned and sat up as he realized that he should probably let Aeris and Elmyra know that they wouldn't be coming home as soon as they had thought. He searched his pockets for the PHS, and dialed the number of the small convenience store in Mideel, since he was holding the only PHS of their little household. The clerk promised to tell Aeris or Elmyra that they'd be taking a small detour in coming home, and not to worry. Zack didn't dare to say more; he really didn't want the women to worry, and he didn't want anyone catching details over the lines. After he was done, he laid back down on the bed. His eyes were sore and his head was beginning to hurt, but he was still too nervous to sleep. Although… Cloud's calm breathing right by his side was soothing.

Zack snorted and closed his eyes. "Oh what a world…"

He was almost drifting to sleep, focusing all his thoughts on listening to the spellcaster breathe, when there was a quiet knock on the door. Zack sighed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. "Come in."

Josin opened the door and slipped in, closing it behind him as quietly as possible.

"Sorry, I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, it's ok. What's up?"

"We got a call from one of the Icicle Inn people. They reached the HQ in the morning, but couldn't get in touch because of the interference. He ran as far from the HQ as possible to let us know of the situation."

"Wow. So what's up?" the fighter was immediately awake, eager to hear what was waiting them.

"He couldn't tell much, only that the numbers we got earlier are pretty much accurate. Almost a hundred Soldiers. That's bad, there's less than two hundred of us at the HQ, and most of them are students or staff. And there's the normal ShinRa troops, too, a few hundred of them. They must have used some strong magic to get them so close to the HQ."

"That, or they've killed all our scouts." Zack muttered, his mood dropping with every word. Josin's eyes grew large at the words.

"Oh."

"Anything else? How's the HQ?"

"It is very well protected, and the easy to defend, so ShinRa hadn't managed to breach in by the time he left. But with so many of us on the outside, it's not looking good. The people from Icicle are doing the best they can, but they can't just attack, ShinRa would get them in an instant."

"… Fuck!" Zack swore and thumped his fist on the mattress. Not quite the dramatic effect he had wanted.

"We talked with the captain of the ship, and the crew's willing to give us some aerial support. I mean, this is a merchant vessel, but there are some weapons aboard. We can attack the ShinRa troops from above, and fly over them straight to the HQ. The captain even promised to give us some food from the ship's storage, and more, if ShinRa's plan is to wait outside until we die of hunger or give up."

"That's great. ShinRa will probably try to stop it, but we'll manage something." Zack tried to smile at the nervous spellcaster, who calmed down immediately and gave him a small smile as well. "We'll work something out."

"Yes." Josin nodded enthusiastically. Then his eyes wandered over to his sleeping friend. "How is he?"

"Out like a candle. You should probably wake him up. I think we have to get him to calm down before we get to the HQ, he ain't gonna be much help if he's either sleeping or spazzing."

Josin's nod of agreement was hesitant, even if he knew that Zack had a point. The fighter stood up from the bed and stretched as the spellcaster stepped forward, ready to release the Sleep-spell on the blond. Zack, on the other hand, was ready to pin the blond to the bed if he tried anything stupid, like getting up.

Cloud opened his eyes a few moments later. Zack leaned over him and smiled when he saw the confused look.

"Hey Cloud. How you doin'?"

"Uh, fine, I guess…" Cloud muttered, lifting up a hand to rub at his eyes. Zack and Josin sighed with relief.

"Where are we?" the blond asked and yawned. "Last I remember we were at the… oh… no…"

Zack groaned when the spellcaster started to panic. He sat on the side of the bed, took a tight hold of Cloud's arms and pressed him down while shaking him a bit. "Cloud, calm down. It was just a dream. Just a dream." He wanted to know what Cloud had dreamed so he could, hopefully, explain the absurdity of it. But he had a feeling he really didn't want to know.

He was also very, very tired, and no matter what he tried to say, whatever he had said through the night, had no effect on Cloud. So Zack did the only thing he could think of to get the blond to calm down, and slapped him on the cheek. Hard. Josin cringed behind him.

"You… you SLAPPED ME!" Cloud, shocked sane by the pain blinked at Zack for a long moment. Then he pulled his knee sharply up, punching the fighter in the back. Hard as well. "Asshole!"

"Trust me, you needed it." Zack muttered, trying to rub at his aching back. "Now, before you spaz again, remember that it was only a dream. Whatever you saw, it was just a dream."

"You can't know that." Cloud whispered while sadness crept into his eyes.

"Well, how can you know so surely that it was real?" Zack argued quietly, doing his best to keep the blond calm. "Cloud, you were dreaming. Dreams can be really fucked up."

"But… the other memories… I've remembered them in my sleep as well. And I know. It was real. I killed him."

"Who?" Zack dared to loosen his tight hold on Cloud's arms as the spellcaster started to shake with sobs. "Hey, come now… Cloud, don't cry…"

"I killed him, Zack… Hojo had brainwashed him. I killed them both. Just before I got out. I killed him. Zack. I killed Seph." Cloud had covered his face with his hands halfway through his whispering, so it was easy for Zack to tell himself that he'd heard wrong. But when the blond continued, he couldn't pretend anymore.

"I cut him open, and he died in my arms. He, he said, thank you, love, and he died. I… there was nothing else to do, Zack. Hojo broke him…" Cloud was starting to hyperventilate, so the fighter pulled him up and into his arms, whispering calming nonsense and rubbing his back.

"Shh, Cloud… it was just a dream. You're feeling guilty because you survived and he didn't, and your mind just—"

"IT WASN'T A DREAM!" Cloud shrieked and pushed Zack away so hard that the fighter fell from the bed. The spellcaster stood up on the bed, the blanket and sheets pooling around his feet as he looked down at the baffled fighter. "I KILLED HIM! STOP CODDLING ME!"

Zack, ignoring his aching backside, just stared at the blond with his mouth open, unable to say anything. Josin was desperately trying to melt through the wall or the floor.

"It wasn't a dream, Zack, I can tell the fucking difference! I killed Seph, he's dead, there's nothing that I can do to undo it! He's gone and it's because of me! He believed Hojo so that the asshole wouldn't hurt me! It's all my fault! He could have escaped…" Cloud fell on his knees, choking on his tears and out of energy to rage on. "He could have… I killed him…" the blond collapsed face first on the sheets and howled with pain, crying his heart out.

Zack cleared his throat and glanced over his shoulder at Josin. "I'll handle this, you can go."

The spellcaster nodded, gave Cloud one last look and practically ran from the room. Zack had to chuckle a little. It wasn't that Josin was cold or uncaring; the spellcaster was just so damn awkward around people.

Luckily, he wasn't. Zack stood up and sat carefully onto the edge of the bed, and very carefully lowered one hand to Cloud's back.

"Cloud? I'm sorry… I should have believed you. There's nothing I can really say to help, I guess. Just that… I'm here for you. And… if Hojo had brainwashed Seph… there was nothing else to do. Seph wouldn't have wanted to go on like that. There was nothing else you could have done." Zack whispered, running his hand softly over Cloud's back. The blond just started to cry harder.

The fighter leaned closer to hug him, and wondered if he'd ever get a chance to rest before they'd reach the north.

**-x-x-x-**

"What would you do if I died?"

"Well that depends. Would you die because you got your stupid ass killed, or because you were overpowered by the enemy and died valiantly while protecting a group of wounded?"

Sephiroth laughed and pushed himself up to his elbows, looking down at the spellcaster beside him. Cloud had his eyes closed; they were both tired after a long fight. "Stupid ass?"

"I guess I'd have to avenge you…" Cloud opened one eye and poked Sephiroth in the chest. "Kill all the ShinRa dogs single-handedly. Go on a roaring rampage of revenge. Why?"

"I was just thinking. We've been together now for what, six, seven months?" the general said and laid back on the quite uncomfortable and narrow cot.

"Something like that."

"It's not long, but… in a war you learn to know people pretty damn fast. You see the best and the worst in them. I've fallen pretty hard for you, spellcaster Strife. And I just realized, that if you were to die… I don't know what I would do anymore." Sephiroth said quietly, twirling one of Cloud's short spikes around his fingers. The smaller blond opened both his eyes and scooted up so that his head was resting on the general's arm.

"You'd get another spellcaster from the Peacemakers."

"But none of them will be as cute as you. Then again, none of them will probably have that mean attitude either. Were you born cranky?"

"Yes. After I was born, I made an ugly face at the doctor who then turned around and slapped my mother because he wasn't mean enough to slap a newborn. Seph, I love you, but I'm really tired." Cloud closed his eyes again and yawned. Sephiroth tugged at his spikes and ruffled them gently, knowing how it would annoy the younger man.

"The world isn't such a bad place, Cloud. Mind you, I didn't hold it in the highest regard either until only recently." Sephiroth muttered, staring at the opposite wall in thought. "It's funny how love is… one day you're contently living your life as it's always been, walking around and thinking that this is how it's always going to be. A bit dull, maybe a bit lonely. But you're satisfied. Then someone comes along, and nothing's the same anymore. And you know that you could never go back to just being content like that. Not when you've been happy, not when you've truly loved someone."

"You're a big softie, you know?" the spellcaster whispered affectionately and hid his face to the side of Sephiroth's neck, his hairs tickling the older man's face.

"It's not my fault. You had to go and crack my hard exterior and pull out the gooey center for all to see."

"Seph, eww." Cloud muttered and scooted even closer. "I didn't crack anything. You seem to leak gooey stuff very efficiently all by yourself. And if you don't let me sleep now you WILL be leaking gooey stuff all by yourself until the end of the bloody war."

Sephiroth grinned and wrapped his arms tight around the spellcaster. "Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"I wouldn't dare, not after I know what's been in it with you around."

The general was shaking with barely controlled laughter so he couldn't answer. In stead, he slipped his long-fingered hand under Cloud's shirt, making the spellcaster shiver.

"Your hand is ice-cold! Take it out!"

"Well I have to warm it somewhere before I shove it into your pants, don't I?"

"What makes you think you're getting in my pants?" Cloud snarled, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut.

"You can't resist me and you know it."

"Wanna bet?"

"Hey, I'm all right with the fact that I can't resist you. You should be man enough to be able to admit the same."

"Admit this!" Cloud suddenly climbed on top of Sephiroth, and before the general had a chance to react, the spellcaster was kissing him passionately. Sephiroth lifted his other hand inside Cloud's shirt as well, and slid them slowly towards his trousers.

But Cloud wouldn't allow him to do that. The spellcaster slipped away just before Sephiroth got his fingers under the waistline. He sat up on the general's thighs and glared at the taller man while his hands slowly moved to rest over Sephiroth's groin. "Now…" Cloud said with a slight purr, "will you let me sleep, or will I have to Ice your valiant warrior?"

Sephiroth burst into loud laughter despite the fact that he was quite turned on. He sat up and threw his arms around Cloud, pulling him back down to rest on his chest. Cloud sighed as he waited for the laughter to die down.

"You'll be the death of me one day, Cloud Strife…" Sephiroth finally whispered and chuckled, kissing the top of the spellcaster's head.

"I promise to be gentle." Cloud muttered just before he fell asleep.

**-x-x-x-**

Zack woke to hasty knocking which seemed to get louder by each knock. He lifted his head from the pillow, realised barely that he was lying down next to someone and that his hand was over this someone's waist, and shouted something less than coherent in the direction of the door. It stopped the knocking, but made whoever was behind the door open it and step inside.

"I'm sorry to wake you, but we're here."

"…" The gears in Zack's head turned slowly as he tried to open his eyes. "Eh? We're where?"

"We're almost at the HQ. You two should get up."

Zack managed to open his eyes as his mind reminded him of what was going on. "Oh. Josin. Hi. What does it look like down there?" He removed his arm from Cloud's waist and sat up, yawning. He felt like he'd just closed his eyes. Cloud had eventually cried himself back to sleep, and the fighter, exhausted, had soon followed suit. His dreams had been haunted by Cloud's words.

"We're nearing Bone Village, it looks quiet there. The others and I figured that whatever's going on, we should be ready to jump ship as soon as we reach the HQ, so I came to get you two."

"Yeah, good." Zack muttered, rubbing at his face and pushing his hair out of his eyes. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to go home and sleep for a week, wake up every one in a whole to eat and to hug Aeris and Cloud. Instead, he turned to nudge the spellcaster awake. "We'll meet you guys in a minute."

"All right. We'll be at the deck." Josin said, nodded, and left. Zack stood up, stretching his aching muscles. Cloud just groaned.

"Come on, rise and shine."

"Fuck shining. I can barely manage rising." Cloud muttered into his pillow before forcing himself up. Zack grimaced when he saw the worn out and teary look on the blond's face.

"Aww, Cloud…"

"Don't say anything. Please. I can handle this right now, but if you say something, I'll break. And in this situation, I can't afford to break." The spellcaster said quietly, not looking at him. Zack nodded after a moment.

"We're almost there. Let's go and kick some ShinRa ass." Was all that the fighter said.

"Yeah."

They picked up their weapons and headed for the deck. The wind was freezing, and when they looked down they saw the ground covered with snow. They were nearing the Sleeping Forest.

"Shit. I forgot that it's winter!" Zack shouted over the noise of the engines and the wind, trying to curl up to keep warm. The warm climate of the Mideel area had made him forget what snow was like. Having been born and raised in Gongaga, he'd grown up in all year round warm weather. Cloud didn't seem too bothered by the sudden cold, nor by the darkness that was falling fast. The blond headed straight to the railing where the other Peacemakers stood, staring at the scenery. That got Zack moving as well; he didn't quite trust that Cloud wouldn't just jump.

"How much further?" Cloud asked as soon as he reached the others. Zack was by his side the next heartbeat, huddling close and shivering.

"Maybe ten minutes." One of the fighters, Cinna, who was standing closest to Cloud said without turning to him. "They're gonna fly us over the HQ, and if it's safe enough, drop us off there."

"Drop us? Just kick us over the edge?" Cloud didn't sound too thrilled about it, which was a relief of sorts for Zack.

"They have parachutes. Though if you want my opinion, were' too low to be jumping with parachutes. We'll hit the ground before the damn thing will open. And it's too windy, so if we get higher and jump then, the wind will carry us off the target. We don't even know how much space there is to land to, how far ShinRa's gotten." The woman shrugged. "Whole lot easier to just jump and aim for a lot of snow."

"Great." Cloud muttered.

"I thought they'd try to land?" Zack shouted, not too thrilled about jumping either.

"They will, if it's a safe option." Deren, on Cinna's other side, informed them.

"I doubt it." The woman said with a shrug.

"We'll have to wait and see!" Josin shouted. "We're at the Forest!" He pointed down at a spot where the white snow gave way to the great trees of the Sleeping Forest, the gateway to the old City of the Ancients. Everyone leaned over the railing to see if ShinRa troops had found a way through it. They screamed with rage at what they saw.

A wide path had been forced through the ancient forest; trees had been torn down and tossed around like they were toothpicks. Magic hadn't been enough to protect the nature from the humans.

"How did they manage that?" Zack wondered aloud, swearing as they saw tents and carriages on the path and between the trees. The back of ShinRa's lines, where the troops kept their food, weapons and other things needed in battle or siege.

"No human could do that…" Eska said, shaking his head.

Zack leaned over further to get a better look. He almost fell when Cinna suddenly screamed.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

The fighter turned just in time to see the woman tackle Cloud to the deck. For a moment he thought that the blond had tried to jump, but then he saw the telltale glow in the spellcaster's hands. He had tried to use a spell.

"Cinna, what are YOU doing?" Deren shouted, kneeling down next to the woman who was lying on top of Cloud. The others watched, puzzled.

"We need to hit them where it hurts!" Cloud argued, trying to squirm his way out from underneath the woman.

"You do that, blondie, and they all know we're coming! All we got now is the element of surprise!" Cinna shouted back as Deren pulled her away from the blond and Zack offered Cloud a hand up.

"Yeah, they'll know we're coming but they won't be able to do much with their food and weapons gone!"

The two continued to argue until Zack stepped between them. "Guys, we already passed the spot. Get a hold of yourselves, we're almost there."

Cinna nodded and backed away. Cloud glared at her before turning his anger to Zack. "Asshole. You could have backed me up there."

"Cloud, they'll have more than one spot for their gear. Destroying those supplies wouldn't have done much good in the long run. Just calm down, you'll get to fry them in a minute." The fighter reasoned, but the spellcaster just shook his hand off and walked to the railing, a bit away from everyone else. Zack swore under his breath and tried to rub some warmth into his arms. "Stubborn ass…"

The small group stood in silence as the airship flew around the outskirts of ShinRa troops in an effort to find the safest way to the Peacemakers' headquarters. The troops had covered the whole valley all the way to the walls built around the ancient homes of the Cetras. The wall was enough to stop them, but not for forever. They'd find a way through eventually.

"Looks like they'll have to fly us in through the back." Deren commented to Zack once they'd circled the area. The fighter nodded, not liking the idea. The wind was blowing hard, and the back of the HQ was to the mountainside. They'd have to fly very close to the craggy rocks, and try to land or at least get as low as possible. Parachuting wasn't an option anymore.

Zack spotted from the corner of his eye how Cloud walked past him to the others, and he turned to watch as the blond talked to the other two spellcasters, who seemed to agree with whatever he was saying. The fighter nudged at Deren and pointed at the three.

"Maybe they have an idea."

"It better be a good one, sir." The other fighter muttered back. It was getting darker by the minute, there wasn't much time before they wouldn't be able to see anything anymore.

Eska soon left the deck to let the pilot know of their plan. Cloud and Josin joined the three fighters, and the blond spellcaster opened his mouth. "We're going to ask them to fly as close to the HQ as possible. Then we'll use wind spells to get down. There's six of us, so three pairs. Get ready."

"Yes sir!" Deren said and actually saluted. Cinna and Zack just nodded.

Eska returned in a minute, and by then the airship had already slightly altered its course. ShinRa had noticed them but the airship was luckily out of the reach of their weapons.

"We're nearly there. Get ready to jump." Eska said while Cinna, beside him, checked her weapons one last time. Deren and Josin were talking quietly, the spellcaster was already standing on the lowest rail of the railing. Zack walked over to Cloud and lifted one cold hand to the blond's shoulder.

"Are you ready?" the fighter asked quietly.

"As ready as I'll ever be. Just hold onto my waist, and don't move or speak unless you really have to. I need to concentrate on the spell."

"Yes sir." Zack said and grinned when Cloud glared at him.

"Don't you start that. I'm not a fucking 'sir'." The spellcaster just about growled as he climbed on top of the railing, throwing one leg over it. Zack felt a twinge in the bottom of his stomach at the sight. He couldn't help the thought that if Cloud wouldn't have to get him safely to the ground as well, the spellcaster might just let himself fall to certain death.

The fighter chased the visual away, not letting it unnerve him, and came to stand next to the railing. He lifted one hand around Cloud's waist to steady him, and held onto the railing with the other while he himself climbed onto it, throwing his own leg over it. They were now facing each other, and since Zack's arm was still tightly around Cloud's waist, they were quite close to each other.

"What are you doing?" Cloud asked, clearly annoyed.

"I just want to make sure I don't fall." The fighter said with a bright grin. Then he suddenly took a hold of Cloud's chin, pulled the spellcaster closer, and kissed him straight on the mouth. The blond was too surprised to do anything, and he just stared when the grinning fighter pulled away.

"…" Cloud stared at him for a long moment before leaning over so that they both fell off the railing.

* * *

The fighting hadn't stopped even when the night fell around them. The white trees were glowing eerily all around them, giving light even in the darkest hours of the night.

Unlike at Fort Condor, ShinRa was relentless. And they were all proper fighters here, no cannon fodder, no innocent children. No one had figured out where president ShinRa had managed to find so many good fighters so soon after the Wutai war, considering that so many had died there. But they had to believe it when all these fighters were coming at them, climbing the wall, shooting and attacking with catapults and other long-range weapons. ShinRa was serious.

Zack had lost sight of Cloud within the first two hours, and was worried about the spellcaster. He knew that the blond wouldn't let the Peacemakers down by just going and getting himself killed when there was so much at stake, but he couldn't shake away the small doubt that he might just let his guard down enough in his sorrow that someone would get that one lethal strike in either. Especially when all the spellcasters were perched on top of the wall; hidden from clear sight, of course, but still so vulnerable. The fighters were on the courtyard, fighting the troopers and Soldiers who had managed to breach the wall already. The stone was strong, so there were only a few breaches so far. Not too many ShinRa fighters could get in at once. But the breaches were bad enough; they showed that the wall could and would break. ShinRa had the upper hand, despite the terrain and the security measures. There were far more of them, and they were more skilled than the Peacemakers in their headquarters, who were mostly inexperienced students. Students got tired, they got careless; Soldiers didn't.

The airship they had arrived in had helped a lot, no matter that it was just a merchant vessel. They had carried enough weapons and bombs that within the half an hour they had circled above ShinRa troops, they had killed or injured approximately one fifth of the offensive army. That and the other casualties had left only about 200 fighters to the ShinRa side. Unfortunately, half of that number were Soldiers.

"We're not going to win this one. Right now, were' just buying time so that we can escape." Master Ranael had said when Zack had bumped into him soon after landing. He hoped that there would be people left to escape once they could do so.

The Peacemakers headquarters had its back against the mountainside, and ShinRa were all over the wall which protected it from all other sides. There was, however, one narrow mountain trail out of the place, and that was what they'd evacuate the students, staff and eventually the fighters through. The thing slowing the evacuation down was that ShinRa had managed to find the path while a group of Soldiers had been searching the area for more ways in. The Soldiers had of course realised that the Peacemakers could escape this way, and were doing everything they could to stop it. Zack had intended to head over there and help in the fight, but so far he had gotten only halfway across the courtyard. There was always someone on the way. He knew that he was already bleeding from more than one cut, but nothing seemed serious, and he could still fight. As soon as he'd see a spellcaster, he'd ask for a healing. Until that, he would stay standing and fight.

* * *

Cloud had had better luck in reaching the battle at the mountain path; he was perched up on the wall, aiming low-level spells on the Soldiers who were blocking the way. They were very good at hiding behind rocks and boulders, but the spellcaster sometimes got a shot in. He wanted to blast the whole group of them with a strong Flare (one of his favourites) or just Quake the whole area, but it was too dangerous. The mountains around them were not the most stable ones, so if he managed to disturb them badly enough, it could result in an avalanche. It would most likely kill the Soldiers, but it would also block the way, not to mention that Peacemakers could get killed as well. He was frustrated and just wanted to jump in with his sword, but the agonised yelps of the Soldiers when his spells hit made him stay up there. Besides, he needed to heal the fighters every now and then.

It wasn't the smartest wish, but he really hoped that the fight would be harder. The Soldiers were hiding, trying to lure them out of the wall's protection. They were playing a waiting game, and it was boring and too slow. There was all too much time to think. And Cloud did not want to think right then. The dream from last night, the memory of what had happened, how he'd lost Sephiroth, was all too clear in his mind. He'd already had to stop almost a dozen times to get his thoughts and breathing under control. He feared that if he'd start to think too much, he'd break down completely. He knew that he had the right, he was actually surprised that he was holding on to his sanity as well as he was, but he couldn't break now. Not when so much was at stake. Once ShinRa was kicked out of the headquarters, or once everyone had escaped safely, THEN he could break down and spend the next few weeks crying and screaming at the world, at Hojo, at himself and at Sephiroth.

"This is nothing like what you promised me, Seph…" he whispered and forced himself calm when a lump once again rose into his throat and made breathing hard.

A Soldier popped his head out from behind a rock, and Cloud took great pleasure in sending a lightning bolt his way. He didn't even realise he was grinning until he noticed the scared look on the face of a young fighter who was guarding the passageway a few feet from him. The blond gave him an apologetic shrug and hoped that he hadn't traumatised the boy too badly.

* * *

The relentless knocking woke both Aeris and Elmyra up near midnight. Back in Midgar it had not been too uncommon that someone had come knocking on their door at any hour of the day; when someone had healing skills like Aeris did, it didn't stay a secret for long. And the girl had always been glad to help. She didn't let people push her around, but she wouldn't let them suffer needlessly, either.

In Mideel no one had come to them in the middle of the night so far, even though many people knew of Aeris's skills. There was a first time for everything, so Aeris didn't hesitate for long before getting up and pulling on a shirt over her night gown. Elmyra was already standing at the door to her room, holding a baseball bat, just in case. Aeris smiled at her as she rushed to the door.

The thought had crossed her mind that someone, probably the man from the shop, had come over to tell them that something bad had happened to Zack or Cloud, or even both. But she refused to believe it, since the two were very good at taking care of themselves, and it had been only this afternoon when the man had given them the message that the two were all right, they'd just be late in coming back home.

Still, she had a bad feeling in her gut when she reached the door. Intuition or something. But she had to open the door; the knocking was near hysteric by now.

"I'm coming, please hold on a little longer!" She called out as she opened the lock. Elmyra was not far behind her, hiding the bat behind her back.

A bright light almost blinded them both once Aeris got the door open. She turned immediately and closed her eyes, but it was too late, she couldn't see anything. "What…"

"Sorry to barge in unannounced and at this hour…" a mocking voice said, "but since we heard that you two ladies were all alone here, we just couldn't resist popping in for a visit."

Electricity crackled beside her ear, and Aeris froze immediately.

* * *

It was nearing dawn when Zack got the word that the passageway was finally open and safe, and the evacuation had already started. He sighed with relief at that; the wall was almost completely down, ShinRa was still sending nearly fresh troops to the battle, and the Peacemakers were quite frankly pooped. The fighter himself was so tired that the word 'pooped' made him giggle a little, despite the fact that he was currently sitting in an improvised medic's tent, where a young spellcaster-student was healing the blow to the head he'd gotten a while ago. He had lost consciousness because of it, but luckily someone had checked that he was still alive, and dragged him here.

Since the wall was as good as down, the fighting had moved to the other side of the courtyard, right in front of the shimmering, seashell-like buildings. The fights were scattered all around, people were running on the streets, everything was pretty much in chaos. ShinRa wanted all the Peacemakers dead, it didn't matter how. But the Peacemakers would have to try and gather everyone, or at least get the word out that it was possible to evacuate now. Zack overheard the conversation of a few masters and students who were planning on leading the fights towards the escape route once the people who couldn't fight were far enough. Once ShinRa troops would get into the passageway, they could cause an avalanche with the help of a spell. It would work if they could get everyone out while keeping ShinRa in long enough.

It wasn't too likely that it would work. Nice plan, though. Zack rubbed at his aching forehead and wished he knew where Cloud was. He'd spotted Cinna and Deren in the fight a few hours ago, and had been glad to see them both still alive. Eska hadn't been so lucky, Zack had seen how a boulder from a catapult had hit him in the chest, throwing him off the wall and killing him. The fighter had managed to reach the spellcaster, but it had been too late. His ribcage had been completely crushed.

He had not seen one sign of Cloud or Josin. He knew they could take care of themselves, but he was still so worried about Cloud. He had promised Sephiroth that he would take care of the blond, and once they'd become friends he had become adamant to keep that promise. Especially now when Cloud was so distraught. Hard to do when he had no idea where the spellcaster was.

"At least Aeris is safe…" the fighter muttered, finding comfort in the thought. The spellcaster tending to him was gentle, but nothing compared to the flower girl. Still, the comforting touch made him relax.

"Those of you who can walk, head off to the mountain passage!"

Zack looked up when the order came. He saw one of the spellcaster masters, who had a few moments ago been talking with the others about the plan to evacuate.

"Some people are going to come around soon to help you and those of you who can't walk. We're evacuating you first."

"I can still fight!" Zack said, raising his hand. The master gave him a scrutinizing look before turning to the spellcaster behind him. Zack turned as well and saw the girl shake her head.

"Hey, I can too!"

"Well then, you'll help make sure these people get to safety." The master said and left. Zack was about to argue, but he soon realised that his help would be needed here. Also, he'd get to walk past most of the battlefield, he might spot Cloud somewhere.

Maybe twenty minutes later a small group arrived. Two of them carried the ones who couldn't walk on their own, and the rest helped each other. Zack ended up helping a young fighter who had cracked a few ribs. They moved surprisingly fast through the quieter alleyways, but at times they were forced to pass the fighters so near that ShinRa Soldiers could easily have caught and killed them if the Peacemakers hadn't kept them busy. Zack's attention was torn between watching where they were going and watching the battlefield to see Cloud or other familiar faces.

They were attacked once, near the passage, but the fighters managed to keep the two Soldiers at bay while the rest of the group hurried on. Zack had pulled out his sword just in case, and stayed a bit behind after the man he was helping said he could make it on his own. He watched as the fighters managed to kill one of the Soldiers, or at least hurt him enough that he fell to the ground. The other didn't stick around, he turned and ran towards the main battle. Two of the fighters started after him, but were quickly ordered to return to helping the wounded.

"He'll tell the others what's going on!" One fighter argued but he was quickly silenced and told that their mission was to get the wounded out. Zack knew what the young man was thinking, though; he wanted to join the battle as well. And he would, as soon as these people were out.

After they passed a few more houses they could see the gateway to the mountains. Zack sighed with relief and grinned when he saw the lone figure standing on the wall, keeping eye so that no one would manage to sneak in and attack. There was no mistaking that hair.

The group reached the wall soon, and a few of the fighters passed it with the wounded to make sure they'd make it safely through the mountain paths. The rest returned to the fight, or to help others. Zack climbed to the top of the wall and gave Cloud a tight hug.

"You ok?" Cloud asked with a frown, eyeing the fighter after he pulled free from the embrace.

"Yeah. Got hit on the head, so nothing important was broken." Zack said with a grin and a wink. "How are you holding up?"

"Fine, as long as ShinRa won't send another group of Soldiers up here." The blond nodded towards the mountain path, and when Zack looked in the indicated direction, he could see from this high that the path was just about crowded with the wounded and the staff. "If they come now, we're screwed."

"Sure seems like it. Can't they hurry up?"

"There's been a small avalanche not too long ago, and the path is nearly impassable at one point. The good thing is, if ShinRa follows us, it'll slow them as well. The bad thing…" Cloud turned towards the battleground, and the fighter followed, "is that at this rate, we'll all get stuck on this side of the wall, the fighting will follow the people here, and there'll be no way to separate ShinRa from our guys."

"Shit." Zack muttered and rubbed his aching head. "The plan sounded desperate down there, but up here, it seems impossible." He only had to take a few steps away from the mountain path to be able to see past the houses to the battleground. The sun was rising from behind the hills, behind what used to be the main gate to the courtyard. From behind the main battle. Its rays shone on weapons and shields and metallic pieces of armour, making it hard to see, to recognise friend from foe. The mist in the air, the steam from sweating bodies in the cold winter air wasn't helping either. Zack felt like a cold hand had grabbed his stomach from the inside. "We are screwed, aren't we…?" he muttered mostly to himself and was surprised when Cloud's hand suddenly appeared on his shoulder. He hadn't noticed that the spellcaster had followed him.

"Pretty much. But we still have to do our best to get as many people out as we can." Cloud said quietly. Zack nodded and turned just as another small group of wounded and staff members walked through the gate. "Most of them are gone already, it's mainly just the fighters on this side of the wall. They'll start coming here soon. You should go and help the wounded on the path."

Zack blinked at the sudden change in their roles. Thus far, in all the time he and Cloud had known each other, he himself had been the voice of reason, reminding the blond what needed to be done and why. Just a few hours ago, Cloud was falling apart with grief. And now he was making cool and sensible decisions?

Still, it didn't mean he would do what the spellcaster said. Good thinking and all, he had almost left. But he wasn't about to leave Cloud, and he said as much.

"Zack, don't be an ass. You're needed there."

"And you're needed here?"

"Yes. We'll wait as long as it takes, and either stop ShinRa on this side, or then on the path when everyone's safely past the gate." Cloud explained patiently, even though Zack could see that his patience was very strained.

"So I'll stay here to watch your back." The fighter argued with a smile, and got ready to jump down from the wall to fight a Soldier who was coming towards them, behind Cloud's back. The spellcaster frowned and without even looking sent a fireball to greet the Soldier. Zack blinked and watched as the man, screaming and burning, ran to a bank of snow.

"You better keep your eyes open then." Cloud hissed and walked back to the gate.

"Yes sir." Zack muttered and followed.

The sun was high when the path was cleared enough that the fighters could escape. The order to retreat was given, and the two dozen men and women still fighting started to make their way through the gate. Zack had jumped down to fight a while ago, when ShinRa had started to aggressively push the battle their way. Most of ShinRa's Soldiers were still alive, and a large number of regular troops were right behind them, pushing them on.

Josin had joined Cloud on the wall a few minutes earlier, and the two were fighting the enemy with their spells. A third spellcaster, one of the masters, was right beside them, and the three were very effectively slowing ShinRa down. Zack, his back almost pressed against the wall near the gate, had no way of knowing when the three would try to block ShinRa from entering, if that was still the plan. He couldn't see from his spot how many enemies were still coming, or what was happening three feet from him. He could barely wave his sword in the crowd; this wasn't fighting anymore, ShinRa was just trying to push their way to the gate, and through it to the mountain path. They wouldn't let anyone escape.

The remaining fighters were retreating through the gate one by one, running away from the battle. Soon only the spellcasters would remain to seal the passage. Zack was practically pushed through the gate, and two Soldiers followed him to the other side. Two fighters came through to attack them, leaving the gate so that a third Soldier could squeeze out. Cloud noticed it from the wall and swore, trying to aim a spell to aid the fighters. But there was more room to move on this side of the wall, and the Soldiers and fighters were using it, moving around so that he couldn't safely aim a spell without fear of hurting one of their own.

"Son of a… I'm going down there!" Cloud shouted to the other spellcasters, but the master grabbed his arm.

"No! Look!"

Cloud followed her pointing finger to the back of ShinRa's troops, and felt the blood run from his face. "Where the hell… do they get… dragons?"

A huge red dragon was rising to their view from behind the remains of the wall. It spread its large red and black wings as it rose, and walked over the wall like it was nothing but small pebbles on the beach. The wall under their feet trembled every time one of the large feet hit the ground. Even the ShinRa troops ran screaming in fear from its path as it walked slowly but surely towards the large buildings.

"Well… that explains the destruction of the Forest…" Josin managed to whisper. The three spellcasters watched, their mouths hanging open, as the dragon opened its maw and spat fireball after fireball at the ancient homes of the Cetra. Cloud shouted with rage and could hear the master wail as if in pain. He wanted to jump down and run to the dragon, stop it with his own two hands if he needed to. The beast was wreaking his home, the beautiful homes of a race that no longer existed. He didn't even realise he had stepped to the edge of the wall until Josin grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Don't be stupid, Cloud. Besides, everyone's through. We have to stop ShinRa from following."

Cloud blinked, looked around, and saw that his friend was right. If they didn't act soon, more and more Soldiers would pass through the gate as well. Now the fighters were still keeping them at bay. He could see Zack's spiky hair not far from the wall. He could hear the master and Josin talk which spell would stop the men and the dragon the best, or at least slow them down. And he could see the dragon, moving onto another house. Without another thought, he started the spell. When the other spellcasters realised what he was doing, it was already too late to stop him. They could only watch in horror as the level three Quake started to shake and break the ground from underneath ShinRa's troops feet. Even the dragon stopped wreaking havoc as one of its paws fell through the shaking earth. Men were running around, the Peacemakers instantly started to run up the path, away from their crumbling home.

The wall shook beneath them, but the three stood there as if nailed from their feet. They couldn't stop watching as the quake caused the ground to open up. Great cracks swallowed man after man as the earth broke, revealing a network of tunnels underneath the ancient city, tunnels which collapsed from the strength of the spell. When the cracks made their way to the part of the wall where they were still standing as if spellbound, Josin finally snapped out of it, grabbed the other two and started to run. Soldiers and ShinRa troopers ran beside them on the narrow path, not caring about anything else anymore except their own lives.

The moans of the ground as it broke and shifted were breaking their ears, but the dragon's enraged roar still reached them, making them run even faster. They didn't know if the beast was behind them or not, and there was no time to turn around to see. The ground was cracking faster and faster, following them, swallowing the city and the mountainside.

"You fucking idioooooot!" Josin screamed as he ran past Cloud. "I'm gonna kill yoooooou!"

Cloud would have laughed at the very uncharacteristic words of his friend, but didn't have the breath to spare.

The ground fell silent almost at the same moment when they reached the fighters who had left the gate last. Cloud, out of breath and not really caring enough to turn around and see what was behind them, let himself just fall to the ground to gasp for breath. When he looked up a moment later, he saw everyone around him staring towards the city with their mouths hanging open. He pushed himself up and to a sitting position, and turned to see what he had done.

The City of the Ancients was gone. There was no Peacemaker headquarters anymore. Just a huge hole in the ground, fast filling with water. The mountain's side which the city had leaned against was gone, swallowed by the earth. The dragon was nowhere to be seen, and same went for the Soldiers and troopers. Beside the roar of the water, everything was quiet.

"We wanted to stop them, not kill them all…" the spellcasting master whispered, tears running down her face.

"They didn't give us any mercy, why should we act any different?" Cloud said angrily.

"That's exactly why. Because we ARE different. We're not ShinRa. We're not."

"…" Cloud bit his lips, blinking at the realization. He had just killed a few hundred men, when there could have been another way. He had killed them without another thought, he had decided upon the spell knowing full well what it would do. He'd killed them all and become like president ShinRa himself, who considered his soldiers expendable if it meant he'd get what he wanted.

"Uh… I think we need to decide what to do with these guys." Josin said, pointing at the few Soldiers and troopers who had escaped with them. All the Peacemakers turned to stare at the small group, who were too shocked to even realize that they were surrounded by the enemy.

They ended up taking the ShinRa men prisoner, and started to walk the path away from the destruction. They soon reached the tail end of the escapees, and their pace slowed considerably. It didn't matter, though, not when no one was following them.

Night was falling and the first stars were already shining when they reached the bottom of the mountain, and started to make a camp there with the few supplies they had. They had little besides their clothes and weapons, and the night was cold, but they were too far from the closest town, Bone Village, to reach it without resting.

Less than half of the two hundred Peacemakers at the headquarters had survived. From the small group who had arrived just last night, only Eska had died. Cinna and Deren were both injured, but could walk on their own. The eight prisoners, three Soldiers and five troopers, were all mostly unharmed. Since they didn't know the terrain at all, and had no one to turn to, the prisoners had decided to follow their captors without fighting them. The Soldiers with their abnormal strength had even helped to carry the wounded.

The camp was very quiet that night as the survivors huddled close together around small campfires. They had dug holes in the three feet of hard packed snow for the fires, and to keep warm. Cloud was sitting a bit away from everyone, he wasn't feeling very social. He knew that he had upset a lot of people with what he had done, even if some of the survivors had already told him or talked with each other that it was the smartest thing to do. They were rid of ShinRa, and even if they had lost their headquarters as well, the enemy wouldn't be able to invade it and steal their possessions.

Zack had gone around the camp before settling down with his friend. He had met with the surviving masters, and had reported to them on what had happened in Fort Condor. Now, so tired that he thought he couldn't even sleep, he sought out Cloud. With a heavy sigh he sat down next to the blond spellcaster, and pulled his borrowed sweater tighter around him. He glanced over at Cloud whose eyes were fixated on the fire. He couldn't see any emotion in them. He wanted to hug the spellcaster, but didn't dare to.

He had expected Cloud to break down once they stopped, both from the stress of remembering and the more recent events, but the blond seemed to have turned to ice. Zack was worried, fearing that if Cloud didn't let himself mourn soon, he would end up falling apart completely.

"Damn… you got some balls of steel on you, you know?" the fighter eventually muttered, snapping Cloud out of his sullen silence.

"… What?"

"Took some guts to do that. I wouldn't have had the balls."

"Guess that means that you're not a cold-blooded killer, then." Cloud muttered, turning back to the fire. He pulled his legs up and leaned his chin on his knees.

"Neither are you." Zack whispered and wrapped a hand around the blond's shoulders. Cloud tried to pull away, but gave up quickly when the fighter wouldn't let him go. "You did what you thought was the best thing to do, and I for one am not gonna blame ya. It was hella cold, I tell you that, but it was what had to be done. They would have come after us, and with all the wounded, on the narrow path, we would have died. I'm surprised we survived as far as we did."

"You don't have to try and make me feel better, Zack. How's everyone doing?"

"As good as can be expected. The masters are taking care of everything now. They're going to try to contact the airship we got here in. With any luck, we won't have to freeze our butts off here all night. They were heading to Icicle Inn for gas and stuff, they might even be near here."

"Great. Did everyone survive? I mean, the guys we came with? I haven't really… been paying attention."

"Eska died, but the other are doing all right. I saw Josin talking with the spellcaster masters just now. Deren and Cinna are sitting a few fires away with their friends."

"Oh. I didn't even know him… Eska, he was just a kid, wasn't he?" Cloud whispered.

"Yeah. But I don't think he suffered, it was a pretty quick death."

"Good. Are all the masters alive?"

"All fighters are. I think two of the spellcasters died already in the beginning of the fight."

"Doesn't leave too many masters, then."

"No. And less than a hundred of us survived. That's about thirty students, dozen staff members, the masters, us and thirty-something others, including the guys who came down from Icicle Inn. There are still a few of us up in Icicle, and in other parts of the world. But ShinRa hit us hard. They distracted us with the Fort and Icicle to hit us where it hurt. Bastards." Zack was nearly growling by the time he finished, and wanted to punch something. Cloud just shook his head and leaned his forehead to his knees, hiding his face.

"But we hit them hard as well, thanks to you. Some escaped from the quake, but you got them. And all's not lost, we just find a new place to start in. The masters are already talking about Wutai. It would be perfect, I think. We could help them with rebuilding after the war, and protect them –"

"Zack, could you just shut up for a moment?" Cloud interrupted him suddenly, and the fighter fell quiet. "Try to get some sleep. You've been up too long."

"Yeah, I guess. But my butt is freezing. How am I supposed to sleep?"

"It'll go numb soon."

"Oh. Yeah." Zack didn't know if Cloud was joking with him or serious. After he thought about it for a moment he realised that he didn't have the energy to answer anyway. They just sat next to each other for a long time, neither talking nor sleeping.

Most of the refugees had fallen asleep a few hours later when the wind brought along a quiet roar of engines. Those who were awake started to listen more carefully, and got ready to fight if it turned out to be ShinRa. Most hoped that it would be the merchant ship, coming to take them away.

Zack stood up to stare up to the sky, even moved away from the relative warmth of the fire to see better. And sure enough, after the sound of the engines had grown louder, the lights of an airship sailed out of the shelter of the surrounding mountains and towards them. People cheered as soon as they recognized the ship as a friendly one, and by the time the ship had found a safe place to land in, everyone was up and ready to go.

They helped the wounded in and into the few cabins first, before the rest crowded in to find a place to sit in. The airship wasn't too large, and there was not much room left to move after everyone had settled in. They were all relieved to be away from the cold, and in safety, even if the future seemed very unsure at the moment. The reunion of the airship's owner and their son, one of the students, warmed everyone's hearts more than the hot drinks they were given.

The hum of the engines around them soon lulled most of the refugees to sleep. Zack was tired, and very aware that he had not slept in… frankly, he had lost count already. He wanted nothing more than to curl up on anything that wasn't freezing cold and just snore his way into oblivion. And he would. As soon as he found Cloud. He'd lost sight of the blond, and his mind wouldn't let him sleep until he knew that the spellcaster was all right. The fighter cursed his worrying nature more than once before he found Cloud up on the deck.

"Hey. It's warmer inside." Luckily he didn't have to shout to be heard when he reached Cloud. The blond was leaning against the railing, not far from where they had jumped. He just shrugged when Zack spoke.

"I'm used to the cold. And I'm not tired."

"Still, you should sleep. And so should I." The cold wind felt ten times worse than normal to his tired body, and the fighter wrapped his arms tight around his torso as his teeth chattered.

"Go to bed, Zack. You don't have to follow me around all the time." Cloud still stared at the stars and the landscape below them as he spoke. Zack was very tempted to obey.

"As soon as you promise me you'll come down soon and get some sleep. There's no knowing what's gonna happen next or where we're gonna go. You'll need your strength."

Cloud groaned and turned to him, anger in his eyes. Zack almost took a step back. " For fuck's sake, Zack, I am an adult. I just killed a hundred people single-handedly. I can take care of myself, I don't need a mother hen! Go to bed and leave me the fuck alone!"

Zack opened his mouth to answer, but realized that what he wanted to say would just make the situation worse. So he discarded the first three things he wanted to say, each one laden with more cuss words than the previous, and settled on wishing the blond a good night and heading back inside. He didn't look back once, and as soon as he found a place to sleep in, he pushed the spellcaster completely out of his mind and tried not to cry.

Cloud didn't quite manage to be so stoic. He thanked the summons that Zack didn't look back, for he would have seen the spellcaster fall to his knees, and he would have come running back. And Cloud wouldn't have been able to take it. It was hard enough to keep the screams inside as it was.

His tears froze to his cheeks in the wind and the freezing weather.

* * *

Zack woke up swearing. Swearing that it couldn't have been more than two hours since he closed his eyes, and swearing in a way that made the young student next to him blush.

The airship seemed to be in an uproar. People around him were waking up, talking in worried tones, whispering and running around. He stood up and tried to stretch his stiff limbs a bit, but not succeeding too well. His body demanded more sleep, preferably somewhere a lot warmer, softer and quieter.

He soon spotted a familiar face and walked over to where Cinna was talking with some people, everyone looking either scared or angry. "Hey guys, what the hell has happened?"

The fighter nodded in greeting as she turned to him. "You haven't heard?"

Zack refrained from rolling his eyes and sighed. "Well, obviously not. I just woke up."

"Oh. ShinRa's in Wutai. We're heading there now. We don't know how bad the situation is, but apparently there's more of them there than at the HQ."

Zack's brain had zoned out somewhere after the first sentence. Suddenly it all clicked; the sudden attacks in Fort Condor and Icicle Inn, the amount of people at the headquarters. ShinRa had wanted to destroy the Peacemakers for good, and take Wutai, thus having control over pretty much the whole known world.

Just one thing didn't make sense. "Where the hell is he pulling all the men from? The war in Wutai ended mostly because neither ShinRa nor Wutai had no more men to spare. There were Soldiers at the Fort, and at Icicle, and a hundred of them at the HQ. Where the hell is he getting enough men to take Wutai?"

"It's not like he needs that many." Cinna shrugged. "With the HQ down, the survivors from there will probably go to Wutai."

"Shit. True." Zack lifted a hand to rub at his eyes. "Have you seen Cloud around?" the question was out of his mouth before he remembered what had happened last night. Cinna nodded and pointed up.

"Last I saw him, he was heading to the deck."

"Thanks." Zack muttered and started when his pants vibrated. It took a few moments for his tired mind to remember that he had his PHS in his pocket. It was too loud here to answer it, whoever it was would have to wait. He couldn't handle it right now anyway.

He headed up to the deck and immediately spotted Cloud talking with Josin and a few other spellcasters near a cabin wall, sheltered from the strong wind. He waved his hand and the blond noticed, nodding his head shortly. Zack didn't want to interrupt them, so he headed to the railing. The sun was rising already, partly covered by puffy white and grey clouds. The sky in the east was painted with reds and yellows, melting into green and blue and into a starry night sky. It was so beautiful, so peaceful that Zack felt his throat grow tight. The world was so beautiful; really, it would be better off without the humans messing everything up.

"A gil for your thoughts."

Zack turned when he heard the quiet words, and gave a lopsided grin to Cloud who looked just as tired as he felt. "Just wondering, if we could change our agenda to freeing the Planet of all the pesky humans."

"Sounds good to me." Cloud said and shrugged. Zack laughed a little. "You heard already?"

"Wutai? Yeah. This blows. Where is he pulling all the men from?"

"His ass." Cloud growled and leaned against the railing, staring at the horizon. "I've no idea. It's now clear why they attacked all over the place, but something still stinks. Something's not right in this picture."

"Heh. Spot five things wrong and win a lollipop. Sorry. I'm so tired." Zack muttered when Cloud gave him a weird look.

"I know. I'm sorry about last night. I was really tired too."

"It's cool, Cloud. I understand."

"You shouldn't. Kick my ass the next time I get my head stuck in there."

That made Zack laugh, and wrap an arm around Cloud's cold shoulders. "I promise. I'll even wear my steel-tipped boots!"

They watched the sun rise together for a while, until it started to be too cold to be standing outside. They turned to go back in when Zack remembered his PHS. Cloud paid him little attention as the fighter called back to the shopkeeper in Mideel, the one who had called him. The spellcaster only started to listen when Zack suddenly stopped, soon after greeting the man.

"What do you mean? But… oh shit. Shit shit shit! No, it's not your fault. Thanks for letting me know. Yeah, thanks. Bye."

"What is it?" Cloud asked as soon as Zack closed the PHS. The fighter, very serious, turned to him.

"Just when I thought that things couldn't possibly be more fucked up…" Zack groaned, rubbing at his very tired eyes. "ShinRa's got Aeris. The Turks came to Mideel, and took her."

"… Shit."

.

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**A.N.:** Eska, Josin and Deren are all original characters just for this story, but I've used Cinna in another FF7 story, where she is a Turk. Unfortunately (or luckily) that story is far too odd for the net. She got to lie on top of Cloud in that one as well.

Oh my goodness! So many reviews! Thank you so much for the reviews and the goodies! –huggles everyone- I'm really sorry this chapter is so damn late, especially after all that. Several projects have kept me annoyingly busy, but this story is near the top of my list of priorities. It will be finished!

Thanks for the phrase 'balls of steel', scarlettHuntress! XD There were some questions, let's see if I can answer some of them. Hopefully Cloud's words in this chapter cleared it a bit what happened when he escaped from Hojo.

Concerning ZxC, they're my favourite couple but in this story there probably won't be much more than what we've already seen. At least, nothing involving the two of them naked. Unless I can come up with a way to brainwash them both. Hmm… -thinks-

I've a fair idea about what will happen in the rest of the story, but can't say for sure how long it'll be. To guess, I'd say it's about halfway through by now, closer to the end than the beginning. There's still ShinRa's ass to kick, Aeris to save and a few other so far unused plotbunnies.

…longest Author's Note so far! Now I go to start on the next chapter. Whee!


	12. Interlude I: Cloud

"**So the Peacemakers have to pass a test of walking through the sleeping forest before they get accepted? That would be interesting. What, do the Ancients check to see if their hearts are pure or something before letting them pass?"**

…Thanks for the idea, kazuhiko!

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**CLOUD.**

The young boy stood beside the sandy road, staring up at the looming forest deep in concentration. He was frowning and pursing his lips every now and then, obviously thinking hard. The archaeologists had seen many like him go into the forest, and didn't pay that much attention to him. Their interests lied in things dead and gone; this kid was obviously still alive, and too young to be of much value to them. Kids tended to mess things up.

The boy leaned his weight from one leg to the other, still staring intently at the trees. He didn't even notice when a man walked up behind him and stopped. Only when a hand was lowered to his shoulder did the boy wake from his thoughts.

"Are you ready, then?" the man asked, leaning down a bit to peer at the boy's face. He smiled a little when the younger one shook his head.

"In a minute, sir."

"Take all the time you need. Nothing bad is going to happen if you fail."

"I know, sir. But I don't want to fail."

The man shook his head at the serious boy, quietly amused. "The spirits will judge you by your heart, so whatever it's telling you, go with it. If you are of pure heart and intentions, you'll be able to pass and eventually become one of us. If they don't accept you, you'll just end up back here, and you can go home. Our treat."

Now the boy turned his head to look up at him, frowning deeper than before. "I know all that, sir, the recruiter told me everything. I just don't want to go running in there like a headless chocobo."

'Damn, this kid's serious. And cranky.' The man coughed quietly to his hand, remembering how he had done exactly that. "As I said, take your time. Tell me when you're ready, and I'll let you in."

The boy nodded and turned back to staring at the forest. Nearly half an hour later he finally turned to the man and nodded again.

"Sir? I'm ready."

The nearby archaeologists turned to watch as the man lead the boy to the entrance of the forest, and activated the materia hanging around his neck. The boy hesitated for a moment before daring to step into the forest. The man stood still, looking after him for a long while before turning away.

It was out of his hands now.

* * *

Cloud looked over his shoulder one last time as it felt like the forest was closing in around him. The man, one of the Peacemakers, smiled at him before he seemed to disappear. There was nothing behind him anymore except trees. For a moment the thought that this was just one HUGE mistake ran screaming trough his mind; he shouldn't have come here, he should have stayed at home. Sure, he wouldn't have learned anything more there, his gift for spells would have gone to waste, but he could have made a living killing monsters in the mountains, married the girl next door and had a bunch of screaming brats…

Cloud shook his head sharply and took his first determined steps into the forest.

The trees were high and old, he could almost sense the weight of the past years on them, the memories of everyone who had passed here, their fears and ambitions. The Ancients themselves, enjoying the green canopy of leaves as they walked about before humans made their way up north. The strong sense of years of history in the trees was almost suffocating, but comforting as well. Even though he was the only one walking under the heavy branches right now, he wasn't alone. The Ancient spirits were there with him. And not just ancient ones…

Cloud whirled around when he thought that he heard someone call his name, but there was no one there. Still, he felt a gentle presence, like an old memory.

"… Dad?"

His father and brother had died almost six years ago in a far off war. Soldiers by blood through many generations, their passing had not come as a surprise. Still, it didn't mean that Cloud and his mother hadn't missed them terribly. Still did. Cloud had always admired his father and brother; Wind, almost ten years older, had always been the coolest person his little brother had known. And Cloud had wanted so badly to become just like them, to go and fight in a war, to win glory and respect for himself and those he loved.

But his mind had changed after the message arrived that both of his heroes had died. He had done his best to help his mother get past the shattering grief, wondering all the while how he could ever fill the hole in his own chest.

The ugly truth was that, even if dad and Wind had helped to win a war, their passing still meant so little to other people. The dwellers of Nibelheim helped their grieving neighbours, of course, but as time passed and people forgot, Cloud and his mother became more and more of outcasts. No one honoured them, their loss, the lives and the men who would never come back.

Strangers die every day.

At the age of only nine, Cloud had learned many truths about the world around him, and had decided on several things. The first was not to trust people anymore. They didn't care about him and those dear to him, why should he be any different? There were a few people who mattered, of course, but for most people he wished good riddance.

More important than that, though, was his realization that he still wanted to follow in his family's footsteps. But he didn't want to just fight because of fighting; he wanted to do something to help people, to stop them from dying. He wanted to make sure no one else would have to cry themselves to sleep every night.

He wanted to make his mother smile again, and make his father proud, where ever he was. He wanted to be someone Wind would have been proud to call his brother. He wanted to be strong, and help those who were weaker, who couldn't take care of themselves.

He hadn't realized it, but as the thoughts and memories ran through his head, he had still kept on walking past the tree trunks, underneath green leaves and patches of sunlight. He had no notion of time anymore, didn't know how far he had walked. Feeling a small burst of longing back to the safety of early childhood, he wondered absent-mindedly when the Ancients would test him.

He kept on walking for a few more minutes, but stopped in surprise when the thick forest around him suddenly opened to a marvelous view. Cloud blinked his blue eyes a few times, staring in awe at a valley far below him, sparkling white and green in the bright sunshine. Green grass, trees and bushes were separated by tidy roads leading to a city by the side of a mountain, a city made of seashell-like white buildings. He had never seen anything like it, and believed that he never again would.

"Congratulations, Cloud Strife. You have passed the test. Welcome to the Peacemakers."

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**A.N.:** I hate to do this, but there isn't much choice at the moment. I'm swamped with two big projects I'm involved in (besides having a full-time job), so Reflections is going on a hiatus for a while. Hopefully not for long. I figured that as soon as I can get my parts in the projects from the Thinking & Planning –zone into the Doing-zone, I'll have more time to concentrate on writing again.

I have the next chapter planned out, but I've written maybe two sentences of it. However, I have a few shorties like this already planned out, so I might post those if I get a chance to finish them.

As always, thank you for reading and for commenting!


	13. Interlude II: Zack

Another shortie before returning to the proper story.

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* * *

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**ZACK.**

Zack's first impression of the northern continent was that it was very, very, very cold there. Served him right to go there in the middle of the winter, his father would probably have said. And of course he hadn't thought to bring any warm clothes. Hell, living in the Gongaga heat, he didn't even OWN any kind of winter clothes. Luckily the man from the Peacemakers, who was standing on the pier, waiting for him, had been smarter, and brought along an extra jacket. The tanned southern youth grinned and pulled it on before bowing slightly to the man.

"Thank you, sir. I didn't realize there'd be all this snow!"

"Well, for the future, keep in mind that up here, it's cold for three months of the year, and damn cold for the nine other months." The man said, winking. Zack laughed. "Don't worry, though, we'll provide you with what you need. If you pass the test, of course."

"So how does this work?" Zack asked as they walked off the pier and onto solid ground. He could still feel the swaying of the ship in his body. "I go in the forest, and if I'm accepted, I get out as well?"

"If you are accepted, you get out on the other side. If not, you come back here, and jump back into the ship. If you're lucky, it will still be in the pier."

"You're a funny man." Zack laughed nervously. "What about these Peacemakers, do I get to choose what I want to study with you guys?"

"The spirits will evaluate you, make their own decision on what suits you best. We'll offer you whatever that is, but you can still study what you wish. Sometimes what the spirits see in you comes as a shock, but usually it ends up being just what you were meant for. The best thing to do is go in boldly, with your heart open, and follow whatever it tells you. Also, stay on the path. You'd be surprised how many people we've lost when they've strayed off the path."

"… Really?" Zack swallowed hard as his stomach lurched.

"No, I'm just pulling your leg. Still, stay on the path, just in case."

Zack nodded and looked up. He hadn't realized they'd reached the forest already.

"Are you ready, kid?"

"I guess."

"Good luck then." The man patted him on the shoulder and took out a globe of materia hanging from a chain around his neck. It soon glowed bright, and Zack was shoved into the forest.

He nearly lost his footing on the slippery ground. Snow had fallen, melted, turned to ice and fallen again on the ice, making it hard to stay standing. Especially for someone who had never seen ice outside a glass of lemonade before. He managed to keep his balance and wobble towards the side, where the smooth ice gave way for more uneven land. Zack figured he would manage to gain a better foothold there. He didn't particularly want to make the Peacemaker have any more fun on his expense than he had already had.

"Okay, okay… I'm off the damn ice…" Zack muttered to himself and stopped to catch his breath. He was still shaking slightly from the cold, but could feel the blood running fast in his veins from the excitement and all the flailing around.

Once he was steady on his feet again and breathing calmly, the teenager squared his shoulders, calmed his mind and took another step onto the path.

And slipped.

His foot flew high into the air, and despite his arms flying around like a windmill, Zack fell hard onto his back and banged the back of his head against the icy ground.

* * *

"Well well, what do we have here?"

Zack heard the voice floating towards him, but when he opened his eyes, he couldn't see anyone.

"Everything's so green..." he muttered to himself, wondering why he felt so light. And which way, exactly, was up?

Someone giggled.

"Another defender of the Planet? Is he worthy?"

"He has a pure and strong heart."

"Are you, uh, guys, talking about me?" Zack asked, looking around. His head moved very slowly in the bright green that was all that existed at the moment. He wondered if this was a part of the test.

"We can see that. But he seems a bit slow."

"Hey. Don't go callin' a guy slow just because he has no idea where he is!" Zack blushed when his words were followed by laughter from all around him. "Anyway, I think I kinda hit my head on the ice. Am I dead?"

"No, you're not. They're coming for you soon, don't worry."

"Oh, ok. Who're they, and who're you?"

"Don't worry about that either. Why do you wish to join the defenders of the Planet?"

"You mean the Peacemakers?" Zack frowned. This HAD to be a part of the test. "Well, this guy came to Gongaga, where I live, and I talked with him and he told me of all this and ShinRa and what's going on. An' I figured, I could do that too. Try to help make the world a bit better, you know? Even if it's just stuff like messin' with ShinRa. They built this big reactor in Gongaga, and after that everything's been a bit polluted. It's hotter than before, and kids are getting sick from the smell of Mako. It sucks, and I'd like to do somethin' about it. But, you know, if I bomb the reactor, they'll just build a new one, and give hell to everyone. So there's gotta be another way, you know?"

"Yes, we know."

"So he told me to come up here and try my luck. Couldn't hurt, right? Well, my head kinda hurts, but you know what I mean."

"You like to talk."

"Yeah, dad's always tellin' me to shut up. Mind you, he's just as bad, but I'm louder." Zack grinned at the bodiless laughter around him. This was nowhere as scary as he would've thought.

* * *

When Zack came to, he was lying on something far softer than the ground, and something much warmer than the ice. His head hurt a little, but other than that he felt better than fine. However, he had no idea how he had ended up… well, wherever he currently was.

He carefully got up to his elbows and took a curious look around the room he was in. The walls around him curved smoothly into an equally white ceiling. Whatever material the house was made of, it seemed to shimmer a little with the rays of the sun which seeped through light blue curtains in high windows on both sides of his bed. There were a few unoccupied beds to his left.

There was no one else in the room, so after Zack managed to sit up and rub at the small lump at the back of his head, he let out a small cough to clear his throat.

"Umm, anybody here?"

After a moment he could hear footsteps approaching, and an opening appeared in the previously smooth-looking wall in front of him. A young woman wearing a woolly shirt and skirt peeked in, and smirked at him.

"You're awake. Great. Hold on, I'll get someone."

Zack opened his mouth to say something, but she was gone as quickly as she had appeared. The youth frowned and closed his mouth. The girl had green eyes, and it reminded him strongly of something. He just couldn't figure out what, exactly. Everything seemed kind of blurry after he'd gotten off the ship.

The door opened again soon enough, and in walked a tall, thin man in heavy winter clothing. He nodded at Zack and came to sit on a chair next to his bed.

"How are you feeling, Zackery?" The man asked quietly.

"Fine, I guess. I think I slipped on the damn ice. Uh, sorry, sir."

"Not a problem." The man waved his apology away. "The spirits informed us of it, and we came to get you out."

Zack blushed with embarrassment. Great. He'd surely blown his chances now, and not only that, he'd made himself a fool in front of the Peacemakers! He had wanted to join the group from the very moment he'd heard of them, and now that he'd had the chance, he'd messed it up.

"The spirits told us of the fire within you, and that you'd like to use it for the good of the world. I was told that you're looking forward to becoming a fighter, but if I may, I would like to suggest that you try something else as well. Words are often far stronger, and also subtler, than swords, and the spirits seemed to think that you'd do well in that department.

"You can take as long as you need to heal before you start training. Is something wrong?" the man frowned at Zack's open mouth and large eyes.

"Wait… are you sayin' I… passed?"

The master blinked at him before nodding slowly. "Well, yes."

"Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Really really?"

"…Somehow I'm starting to suspect that the spirits were wrong about you. But I'll chalk this to your concussion. Yes, Zackery Lindeman, you have passed. Welcome to the Peacemakers."

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**A.N.:** I feel rusty. Bah. One more shortie after this before returning to the actual story. Whee!

I love quoting movies, songs and stuff I've read whenever I can. I'm a dork. This bit has one of my all-time favourite movie quotes in it, see if you can spot it. And not the Shrek-one! ;) I'll try to get the next one up faster than this one. Thank you for reading, and for the reviews!


	14. Interlude III: Sephiroth

Last shortie! Yaaay! Thank you for the reviews!

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**SEPHIROTH.**

Sephiroth frowned and looked hard at the old map in his hands, not for the first and most likely not for the last time either. It didn't really make much sense to him.

The sixteen-year old had left his home in the Wutai islands a few months earlier, bored with the familiarity of the land and eager to get out into the world and go exploring. His mother had tried to convince him to stay at home, at least until he was a little older, but the youth had been insistent. And it was a well known fact in the family: what Sephiroth wanted, Sephiroth got.

He looked very little like his Wutaian mother and family. It had been easily explained with the fact that his father had been a foreigner, from some far-off northern country. The man had died when Sephiroth had been very young, and he didn't really remember anything about him. Since there was only so little his mother and other coddling relatives could tell him, he had decided that his first goal would be to find his father's homeland, and maybe some surviving relatives as well. It should be easy; he was, as they said, the spitting image of his late father.

The problem was, the youth realised as he looked up from the map, that he was about as far north as he could go, and so far had found no clues as to where his father could be from. He had reached a small town called Icicle Inn, but there was no-one there who recognized him or had any recollection of his father. And all there was on his map on the Northern continent besides Icicle Inn was mountains, snow, a small archaeology camp and a whole lot more of snow. No other towns, nothing. No wandering tribes either.

It was baffling.

Sephiroth scrutinized the map again, desperately trying to make out anything that could be a town. It was an old map, but the people in the village had been no more help either. There simply wasn't anything else on the continent.

He had suspected that he'd simply gone too far to the north, but from maps of the known world he could tell that he was currently standing in the only damn town farther up than his own home of Wutai.

With a frustrated sigh Sephiroth folded the map and marched into the only bar/cafe/pub in town, barely suppressing the anger from his long steps. He walked straight up to the counter, sat down, and ordered a beer. The barkeep raised an eyebrow at him.

"Fine. Just tea, then." Sephiroth growled under his breath.

He was taller than anyone in Icicle Inn, probably stronger, and even without much bragging, easily the best swordsman as well. He still couldn't get a beer.

"It's bad for you anyway."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and turned to the man on his right, who was chuckling into his pint. "I see. But you, of course, are immune to its effects and can therefore sit here drinking pint after pint of it?" the blond youth asked, cocking his head a little. The man let out a laugh.

"Watch that attitude, kid. You're like a chocobo chick chirpin' to a ten-time race winner here."

Sephiroth snorted. "More like I am the race winner and you the slightly limping one-eyed has-been."

The man nearly choked on his beer. "I warned you, kid…" he slid off his bar stool and pulled out a long, wide-bladed sword with several materia twinkling in it. "Now I gotta go ShinRa on your upstart little patootie."

Sephiroth shook his head, stood up as well – nearly a head taller than the man – and pulled out his own sword: nearly seven feet of best Wutaian steel.

Before they could swing their swords to meet each other, the barrel of a shotgun appeared between them. Both turned to look at the barkeep.

"The man who lives by the sword dies by the gun. Take it outside, and stay there."

The older man obediently put his sword away and reached for his beer, but the barkeep pulled it away. "You can come back in when you can behave."

Sephiroth just stared at them, his sword lowered, and left the bar with a resigned sigh when his cup of tea was also taken away. The barkeep glared at the both of them until the door closed behind them, leaving the two standing outside in the darkening evening.

"That was really smart…" the man said and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You started it…" Sephiroth muttered and sheathed his sword.

"Me? You're the one who was giving me lip about my well-earned beer!"

Sephiroth looked away, refusing to acknowledge the man further. They stood outside the door for a while, the gently falling snow had made a nice little pile on top of Sephiroth's head before the older man opened his mouth.

"Couldn't help but notice that you got a beautiful sword there, kid. Where'd you get it from?"

"It's a family heirloom. And yes, I can use it."

"Ah. You're Wutaian then?"

"Yes."

"You don't look like it."

"My father was from the north. I'm here looking for his family."

"Oh, I see. Any luck?"

"Not really. According to the maps this is as far as I can go, and no one's heard of him here."

"Too bad. You sure he's from around here?"

"That's what I've been told all my life."

"I see." The man gave him a long, close look which made Sephiroth uncomfortable. He supposed that the man found whatever he was looking for when he opened his mouth again. "You know, kid, there's more to see here than what's on the maps. And if you really know how to use that overgrown toothpick of yours, I know of some people who might be interested…"

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and turned to face the man, giving him a close look himself. "Really now?"

"Yeah. Can't promise you they'll know about your papa, but if I were you, I'd go and talk with them."

"Intriguing. Maybe we should continue this conversation over a few beers."

"Sure. But we better make it tea. Don't know about you, kid, but I'm freezing my balls off here."

"When can we go back in?"

"… Better give it a few more minutes."

Sephiroth sighed and shifted his weight. His toes were going numb from the cold, but he didn't mind if it turned out that he was getting nearer to his goal after all.

The snow kept on piling on top of his head.

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**A.N.:** Yeah, I know he's kinda OOC here, but he's 16, it's his first time away from home where his family pretty much spoiled him rotten, and the old pervert next to him is giving him attitude. The Peacemakers will soon beat some humility into him, though. Heh. Not that he isn't everything he thinks he is...

Next stop is the return to the original storyline! Yaaaaaaaaaay!


	15. Chapter 11: Lying

A reminder: I own nothing. I hit a huge block with this chapter, not knowing for ages what to do, but then one morning it just clicked. Wahey! I just wish the rest would click as well, heh.

Thank you very much for all the reviews and comments. Hope you like this chapter!

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**Chapter Eleven**

**Lying**

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It took mere hours to fly to Midgar. Despite the fact that they were kidnapped, Aeris had to marvel at the beauty of the nature below them, and the colours in the sky as the sun rose. Looking at it, she wondered if Zack and Cloud were seeing the same sunrise, and wished that the two were all right. It had been frustrating enough being away from them when they'd headed out to battle at Fort Condor, now they would be even farther apart. And she really disliked the idea that she and Elmyra would need rescuing from their captors. It would be romantic, but she thought that if she was a fool enough to get caught like this, she should be able to get out as well. Elmyra had at least clobbered the Turks with her baseball bat after they had caught Aeris, who had just stood there, dumbstruck.

She had refused to heal their bumps and bruises.

The plane was small, there was barely enough room for the two Turks and the two women. But it was very fast, and it was long before noon when they could see the outskirts of Midgar below them. The slums sprawled outside of the city walls in places, small hovels that barely kept the rain outside. The metal and glass on top of the plate glittered in the morning sun.

"Welcome home, ladies." Reno said from the front seat, grinning at them even with his impressive black eye.

They landed in a hangar near the ShinRa Headquarters, and the two women were quickly ushered inside the building. Both Aeris and Elmyra had been handcuffed, and they couldn't really fight their captors as they were towed from the cuffs towards the elevators, and up to the highest floors. When they reached the 67th floor, the elevator stopped and the doors opened.

"What are you doing?" Aeris demanded to know as Rude grabbed Elmyra by her shoulder and started to drag the older woman out. Reno stopped Aeris from following them and turned to grin at her as the doors slid closed again and the elevator continued on its way up.

"The President only wants you, baby."

"What are you going to do to her?" Aeris was near tears with fear, but forced herself to be calm when the Turk laughed at her.

"Nothing, as long as you don't give us any attitude. You be a good girl and she'll be all right."

"Asshole." Aeris hissed and couldn't help blushing when the redhead burst into laughter.

"Oooh, watch me shake in my pants. You're so scary." Reno made a mock-horrified face at her and laughed even as the elevator stopped again and he pulled her out. She followed obediently as he guided her through a large lobby towards two spiraling staircases. They took one up, and stopped before large wooden doors.

"We're here." Reno said, serious for once as he knocked on the door. There was a quiet buzz as the doors were unlocked, and the Turk opened the closest one and motioned for Aeris to step inside.

"Yo, Prez. Here she is!"

* * *

The airship reached Wutai in just a few hours. Almost everyone had climbed up to the deck to see what was waiting for them.

Ships spotted the sea and the east coast of the Wutai islands. As they got closer they could see the people, cars and caravans pouring out of the vessel's bowels. A lot of people. The airship was spotted from the ground, but was greeted with only a few bullets that barely reached its bottom.

"This doesn't look good…" Cloud echoed the thoughts and words of others around him as the ship turned from its recon trip towards the city of Wutai itself. Lord Godo had already been informed that help was coming. The Peacemakers were in turn informed that the Wutaians were staying in the capital, waiting for the attackers there. There weren't enough people left in Wutai for an all-out war, so they had opted to stay in the capital, and let the terrain work for them.

The blond pushed away from the railing, through the crowd, and into the ship. With so many people up on the deck, there was actually room to move inside. He soon spotted Zack who was pacing around on one of the ship's metallic pathways, trying to figure out what to do.

"Zack. We're nearly there." Cloud said and grabbed the fighter's arm to keep him still.

Zack ran a frustrated hand through his hair and sagged against the pathway's railing. "What are we gonna do, Cloud?"

"I don't know. I know you want to head to Midgar, and so do I, but we're needed here as well." Cloud reasoned.

"Are we really? What difference could we do?" Zack muttered and looked up as they both realized it.

Cloud, as a spellcaster, could do a lot of damage, and would definitely be needed here. Zack was basically just another fighter, and not so desperately needed.

"What could you do alone in Midgar?" Cloud asked quietly. He wouldn't stop Zack if the fighter wanted to go. _If_ he would figure a way to get out of Wutai, for starters. "You can't just barge in on your own and kill everyone."

"I bet that most of ShinRa's troops and Soldiers are here."

"I agree, but there's still going to be security around."

"I'm a sneaky bastard."

"Can't disagree with that either. But the fights here most likely won't take for long."

"Unless ShinRa organizes a siege and sits around until everyone in Wutai is dead from starvation."

"True. We don't have enough men for an all-out attack. It's the same as in Fort Condor, except that the terrain isn't as easily defended here. Shit…" Cloud muttered and rubbed his eyes.

Zack chuckled and shrugged. "This sucks. I know that Aeris is capable of taking care of herself, but I don't dare to trust that ShinRa wouldn't do something to hurt her."

"I know. At least that bastard Hojo won't get near her."

"Oh? How come?"

"I think I killed him. When… just before I killed…" Clout fell silent but the fighter understood anyway.

"Oh. Wow. One thing less to worry about, I guess." Zack grinned humourlessly.

Cloud shrugged and looked up to the fighter. "How about this. We see what's going on here, see what the masters and Godo are thinking about doing, and if it's possible, you head to Midgar. If not, we'll kick ShinRa's ass and then go together."

"Sounds like a plan." Zack said with a lopsided grin. "It's not like ShinRa will kill Aeris. They'd done that already if that was their goal, back when she was livin' in Midgar. They want her alive. Just that… they can do a lot of damage without killing her."

Cloud nodded and squeezed Zack's shoulder briefly. "You don't have to tell me. We'll get her out of there, though. But for now, you should get ready. We'll be landing soon."

"Right." Zack let out a long sigh and grabbed the spellcaster into a tight hug before he could leave. "Don't you leave my sight, Cloud. Not knowing where one of you is is bad enough."

"…" Cloud held him back for a moment before pulling away. "Come on, you big lump. Let's go."

"Yes sir."

"What did I tell you about calling me sir?"

Zack grinned. "I don't remember, you'll have to tell me again."

The airship landed a few minutes later right outside the city of Wutai. All the Peacemakers and other refugees from the north got out as fast as they could. Some still needed medical attention and were taken to one of the medical tents around the town, ready to take in the injured soldiers. The eight prisoners were also taken away.

"Damn…" Zack muttered as he and Cloud got off and stopped to survey their surroundings. "Everything was still a bit messy after the last war when I got here last year, but this is crazy…"

"It was pretty much like this during the war." Cloud said with a shrug.

The capital of Wutai was obviously getting ready for both battle and a siege. Children and family heirlooms were carted away into the safer countryside, foodstuffs, clothes and other supplies were stored into warehouses and cellars, bandages and various potions to the medical tents. The Wutaians were running around in a hurry, and now the refugees from the north were only adding to the mess, not exactly sure where to go or what to do. The masters were talking among each other and with a few Wutaians. Zack soon spotted them and nudged his head towards them. Cloud nodded and they went to join the small group.

* * *

The loud boom of the door closing behind them nearly made Aeris jump out of her skin. The sight before her wasn't exactly calming either. They'd entered the large office of the President of the whole ShinRa corporation, probably the most influential man in the world.

Reno grabbed her by the arm and dragged her towards the large desk on the opposite side of the room. Aeris absent-mindedly noted that this one 'room' was larger than the house she and Elmyra had lived in the Midgar slums. It was also fancier and more richly decorated than anything below the plate. Well, maybe the famous brothels of Wall Market were an exception.

Large glass windows climbed from floor all the way to the ceiling behind the desk, and the sunlight streaming in through them made it impossible for her to see the man sitting in the large chair. The President himself.

"Well. Miss Gainsborough. We finally meet…" the man said as he got up. Aeris watched with dread and hatred as he walked slowly around the table and came to stand before her. Reno's hand around her arm kept her still.

"The pleasure is all yours, I'm afraid." Aeris said, forcing the shiver out of her voice. Reno and the President laughed.

"It doesn't really matter that it took this long to catch you, my dear. After all, it is only now that I can finally claim Wutai as mine. Only after that is done it is safe for us to go there."

"Wutai? What are you talking about?" Aeris asked. She was sure that the President had expected her to ask just that. He probably had rehearsed their whole conversation beforehand.

"Don't take me for a fool. You are the last Ancient. You know it. I know it. You hear the spirits. You can take me to the Promised Land."

Aeris shook her head but her gesture was completely ignored as the President continued.

"It's been said the Promised Land is very fertile. And if the land is fertile, there has to be Mako." The man rubbed his hands together and walked around excitedly. "The abundant Mako will just come out on its own. That is where Neo-Midgar will be built. ShinRa's new glory..."

"The Promised Land isn't like that!" Aeris managed to intercept him. "It's not a place I can take you or anyone else to. It's something people have to find for themselves."

The President chuckled and came to stand in front of her. He grabbed her chin in his surprisingly strong hold and looked her straight in the eyes. "Miss Gainsborough. No matter how much you try to deny it… this is a fact. You WILL take me to the Promised Land. Do not forget, we have your mother."

Aeris bit her lips shut, fuming on the inside. The man before her chuckled again and resumed his pacing.

"My troops will attack Wutai in no time. They are far stronger and there are more of them than there are people in Wutai. They will either give up, or die under my feet. And as soon as Wutai is mine, we'll go there together, you and me. And once you lead me to the Promised Land, the building can start. Then no one will be able to stand up against me."

"You're a delusional old man…" Aeris said and flinched when Reno shook her sharply.

"Mock me all you want, it won't change a thing." The President said with a shrug and walked over to his desk as something buzzed. He pressed a button in a control panel and the large door to his office opened again. Aeris looked over her shoulder to see who had entered the room but could only see a shadow as light streamed in through the opening. Her attention was pulled back to the President when the man opened his mouth again.

"Ah, just in time. You'll be able to persuade our guest. Miss Gainsborough, I do believe you've met professor Hojo."

Aeris's eyes went wide and she let out a strangled noise when she turned to see the man who had walked up to her side. There was no question about it; it was the same man she'd last seen in the photos, back in Mideel.

The Professor stepped uncomfortably close to her – even Reno took a step back – and gave her a long, scrutinizing look from head to toe. The smile that slowly crept on his pale face sent shivers up and down Aeris's spine.

"Oh yes… I've been waiting for this day. What a pleasure it is to see you again, Aeris. You're all grown up."

The President walked to the professor's side and put a hand on the white-clad shoulder. He soon lifted the hand, however, and wiped it surreptitiously on the side of his trousers. "As agreed, Hojo… once the Promised Land is mine, she is yours."

They both stared down at her with predator smiles. Aeris felt more scared than she could remember ever feeling.

* * *

"Sir!" Both Zack and Cloud stopped and saluted when they reached the small group. The masters greeted them, and the few Wutaians bowed slightly.

"Strife, just the man we were looking for." Master Ranael said and grabbed the spellcaster's shoulder, pulling him forward to join the circle of people. "We were just about to head over to Lord Godo's for a meeting. You're familiar with him and Wutai, you'll come with us." The other masters nodded, agreeing.

To Cloud's slight horror, they left immediately towards the tallest pagoda, just outside of the town. He barely managed to grab the front of Zack's shirt, pulling him along. The fighter chuckled and tried to keep up as they walked through the busy town. He got the impression that it was not unlike a hive of ants where someone had poked a stick into. People were running everywhere, and the few narrow bridges crossing the river that ran through the town were especially packed as people couldn't move too fast on them. Things calmed down after they crossed the last one and started to head out towards the high pagoda that rose even above the treetops.

"What is that place?" Zack whispered to Cloud. He had a vague impression that someone had, at some point, told him what it was, but since he had never visited the place he couldn't remember.

"It's the Pagoda of the Five Mighty Gods." Cloud explained. "It's a place where great warriors can test their strength against the most powerful men of Wutai."

"So, you've ever been there?"

"Only on the outside."

"Why are we going there now?" Zack asked loud enough to be heard by the masters as well.

"Lord Godo is at the top floor." One of the spellcasters informed him.

"Ok, I see." Zack nodded. He wanted this to be over with as soon as possible.

The guards on both sides of the main door allowed the group to pass, and a servant soon came to guide them. Zack had visited some Wutaian houses last summer, but this place was completely different from the common homes and country houses. It was far more richly decorated, even if with a more minimalist and old-fashioned way. Torches on the walls lit up the staircases they used to climb all the way to the highest level of the tall building. The place seemed to be empty except for them, but the fighter felt like someone was watching him all of the time. He tried to shake off the feeling, and concentrated in stead on the noises coming from above. It sounded like someone was shouting quite angrily. The higher they got, he thought he was able to recognize a word here and another there. The voice was quite high-pitched.

"What's going on?" the question was out of his mouth before he could catch it. The servant, walking first, turned to look at him, and everyone following the man turned as well, until all their eyes were on the fighter. Zack blushed and waved the question away with his hand. He found out where the screaming was coming from soon enough, as they reached the top of the pagoda. He had to laugh a little when he saw the view on top.

He recognized Lord Godo immediately, having met the man briefly last summer. The lord of all of Wutai was standing in the middle of the floor, his arms crossed over his chest, and staring down – quite angrily – at a short pixie of a girl who was throwing a tantrum and shouting at him at the top of her lungs.

The servant and the others stopped just at the top of the stairs, unsure of what to do.

"I am NOT a child anymore! You can't just send me away like that, no matter who you are, old man! I won't go! I want to stay here and fight! I've got materia, I've got weapons, I'm as good as any other fighter! And don't give me that look! You KNOW I'm good! I—" she finally fell silent when Lord Godo gestured with his hand and nodded at the guests. The girl turned to follow his gaze and frowned at the group.

"Yuffie, please leave. We need to discuss strategies." Godo said in a voice that was not accepting objections.

"Oh no! I am staying! I'm old enough, and one day I'll be the Lady of Wutai, so I have to stay and listen! You keep telling me that I should take part in stuff like this. No way am I leaving!"

"Yuffie…" the tone of Godo's voice was enough to make Zack want to leave, but the young girl didn't even budge, even if she was the sole subject of the Lord of Wutai's annoyance. She just crossed her own arms and glared up at him.

"I. Am. NOT. Leaving."

"Fine." Godo stepped past her to greet his guests, not seeing how she blew a raspberry at him behind his back. "I welcome you here, and thank you for your offer to help. There are precious few Wutaians who are able to fight, and every pair of hands is welcome."

The young girl snorted behind him. Godo's left eye twitched quite noticeably, but he ignored her. "Please, come in and sit down. Let us talk."

Godo and his guests settled on the decorated tatami mats, the guests sitting in kind of a crescent form in front of Godo. The girl sat down a bit behind him, on his left, and bowed quite gracefully at the guests, giving a quick smirk to Zack who couldn't suppress a grin when watching her. Godo quickly introduced her as his daughter Yuffie. Trays of tea were soon brought in, and once everyone was served, Godo cleared his throat.

"Your group has for long been helpful to us in our ongoing battle against ShinRa. And it seems we've never needed more help than now. I've heard of what happened at the northern continent, and am more than happy to offer my own hand in welcoming your people here. Even when I feel like a beggar for help myself."

One of the spellcaster masters, highest in what passed for rank amongst the Peacemakers, nodded at Godo. "We thank you for the offer. We lost our homes and possessions, and have little more to our names than the clothes we wear and weapons we carry. ShinRa doesn't seem satisfied until he has gotten rid of both us and you. And that is something that we cannot allow."

"True." Godo said with a nod, and sipped at his tea. Behind her, Yuffie was trying not to grin at Zack who was staring into his cup of tea, mesmerized. The small bundle of tea leaves in his cup had opened up to a beautiful flower-shape, which was gently circling around his cup as it floated towards the bottom. Cloud, beside the fighter, elbowed him sharply in the ribs, bringing Zack's attention back to the conversation.

"I swear, you're like a kid, staring at anything that shines…" Cloud whispered from the corner of his mouth.

"But I've never seen tea like this before…" Zack objected and looked up when he realized how quiet the room around him was. He wanted to groan when he realized that everyone was staring at him again. Yuffie was shaking with barely controlled laughter behind her father.

"Uh. I'm sorry." Zack said with a grin. He thought he could actually hear a few masters roll their eyes.

"You've not had blooming tea before?" Godo asked with a small smile, gesturing at his own cup.

"No. It's very beautiful." Zack said with a big grin. Godo nodded at him before turning to Cloud.

"Cloud. It is good to see you again. I was sorry to hear about Sephiroth. Without him, we would have fallen to ShinRa years ago."

"Thank you." Cloud said with a curt nod and gestured at Zack. "This is a close friend of Sephiroth's, actually. Zackery Lindeman."

"I think we met last summer when he was here looking for you two. It seems he finally found you."

After everyone had finished their tea, the more serious conversation continued.

"How many fighters do you have?" Master Ranael got straight into business.

"We have only about a thousand able men and women, and some of them are still children. Some nearly too old to fight. Our scouts who are watching ShinRa have reported that so far, several thousand men have stepped onto our soil."

"Do you have a more exact number?"

"7 000, according to the last report. But at that point, not all ships had arrived."

Ranael swore under his breath, and he wasn't the only one. "There's only about a hundred of us. Even if some of our men are talented spellcasters, there's just not enough of us."

"Where is ShinRa pulling all these men from? That's something I don't understand." Zack said, still holding his teacup in his hands. All that remained in it was the flower of tealeaves. He wished he could take some to Aeris. She'd like them.

"Neither do we." Godo said with a sad shake of his head. "We were under the impression that the last war ended because he had no more men to spare. It must have been a bluff."

"Or the numbers here are a bluff." Cloud said and quickly explained what ShinRa had done in Fort Condor and Icicle Inn.

"What an asshole." Yuffie snorted angrily. "Sending kids off to die." Surprisingly enough, Godo agreed with his daughter's harsh words.

"It might well be that this is the case here as well. We'll send word to the scouts to look out for it."

"Would it be all right to go and see for myself what the situation is?" Cloud suddenly asked.

"Of course. You can lend one of our chocobos."

"I'm going too, then." Zack said, raising his hand a little. "I'm his bodyguard."

"Zack…" Cloud groaned but Godo nodded.

"I'll have it arranged."

"How are your supplies, is there enough to support our hundred men as well?" Ranael asked.

"Should be." Godo said. "Only our fighters are staying in town, there's enough supplies. We're sending our children and those too old to fight away to the countryside."

"With the numbers they have, ShinRa is probably planning to wipe everyone out." One of the spellcasters noted. "Are they safe, even away from the town?"

Godo took a deep breath and lowered his chin to his chest, not wanting to admit that they couldn't even save their children.

"What about the airship we came here with?" Zack piped up. "It could take the kids away from Wutai altogether, just to be on the safe side."

"Where could they go? Is there any place that's safe from ShinRa these days?" one of the masters argued, but others seemed more optimistic.

Godo was nodding hesitantly. "It could work, I suppose."

"Of course it could." Yuffie said. "If we can find a safe place for them. Then, even if we're all wiped out here, there's still little Wutaians living on. Even if they couldn't take back the land, even if they could never come back safely, they'll be alive. I think that's better than dying here for some pride's sake."

Godo was about to object to his daughter's words, but just let out a long sigh. "You are right, Yuffie. The most important thing is that our children will not die." He thought about it for a moment longer before nodding. "All right. I trust your airship to take them to safety. That includes you too, Yuffie."

"I told you a dozen times: I AM NOT LEAVING!" Yuffie almost stood up, glaring at her father.

"Yuffie. You and I are the only ones left of our family. If the land of Wutai falls to ShinRa's hands, it would break my heart if there would be no one to lead the children on to their futures. I am too old for that, too old to leave Wutai. You, however, are young, and clearly not afraid of hurting our foolish pride. Please, Yuffie. Go with them."

Yuffie was biting her lips shut, near tears. She hesitated for a moment longer but finally nodded, and sat back down. "As you wish, father."

The others had followed the conversation in silence, not daring to say a word. Silence reigned for a while longer until one of the masters managed to speak quietly.

"We'll do our best that the land will not fall, of course. ShinRa might be bigger than us, but we are fighting for a good cause. The situation seems grim, but let's not give up hope yet."

Godo and Yuffie both nodded, and the talk on strategies continued. Cloud and Zack excused themselves soon, to head out to where ShinRa was landing. Yuffie left the meeting with them, saying that she'd find them a few chocobos and then head over to the airship.

The three of them walked down the long staircases in silence, listening how the conversation above them grew harder and harder to hear, and eventually drifted off completely.

"I wish I could stay here and fight with everyone, but dad's right. If we lose, well, he can't take it anymore. I have to take care of things then." Yuffie said quietly as they walked back towards the town itself. She was staring at the ground, kicking all pebbles out of her way. "I still hate it that I have to leave."

"I don't blame ya." Zack said, watching the back of her head. "But it's the best way right now. Even if ShinRa's bluffing with their numbers, there's still a shitload of them comin' here. It's gonna get bloody, and it's best that the kids aren't here to see it. And the way I figure it, it's best that you won't see it either."

"How come?" Yuffie turned to look at him, and continued to walk back first. "If I'm to be the Lady of Wutai, shouldn't I see what's happening?"

"Maybe, but you know, it's probably easier to start rebuilding and stuff when you can think of other things besides how you saw your people dying here." Zack said quietly. "Know what I mean?"

Yuffie frowned as she mulled over his words. "I guess I do." She turned around and picked up her pace. "Come on then, we don't have all day."

Cloud, who had walked behind Zack all the way from the pagoda, walked faster now until he reached the fighter's side.

"Funny."

"What is?" Zack asked, glancing at the spellcaster.

"It's taken me this long to see why exactly you became a diplomat."

"Well, better late than never, I guess." Zack said with a lopsided grin.

"Yeah." Cloud muttered and picked up his speed again when Yuffie took off running.

* * *

Aeris was still in shock when Reno lead her down a few floors. They followed Hojo into something that seemed like a large laboratory. She was forced into a large glass cylinder in the middle of the room. Once inside, she could barely hear the voices of Hojo and some other scientists who stood outside, looking at her, making notes and talking with each other. She felt naked in front of them, even if she was still wearing her night clothes and a shirt over them. Funny, she thought, a while ago they had felt like nothing at all, now they were sheltering her from the men's eyes. She sat on the cold floor, pulled her knees to her chest and stretched the shirt – one of Zack's apparently, it was so big on her – to cover her legs as well.

She hadn't managed to convince the President that she couldn't possibly take him to what he believed to be the Promised Land, but she had realized that nothing she could say would change the man's mind. Not when he believed his own words so strongly, not when he probably had thought this way for years. And what was the promise that Hojo would get her as soon as the President had the Promised Land? Aeris shuddered at the thought of the professor having free hands with her. She could still clearly remember the photographs Cloud had showed them in Mideel, of what it had been like for him and Sephiroth to be in Hojo's hands. It must have been horrible, considering that the blond still wouldn't let himself remember what had happened there. Aeris felt a bit selfish at wishing it, but she hoped from the bottom of her heart that she wouldn't have to live through similar treatment.

A small, very small voice inside her suggested that she already had, at some point. How else would Hojo know her? Why would she get the feeling that she'd met the man before, if it had not happened? She couldn't remember, but that seemed to be a common symptom when it came to Hojo.

She could remember so little of her early childhood, and it had always bothered her, considering that she could remember even some very obscure things from later on, but nothing of her first five or so years.

Aeris's first real memory, one that she could place, was the first time she came home with her new mother. She remembered that she had been really sad then, but had quickly forgotten about it when they'd reached the house. It was then the most wonderful thing she'd ever seen, she could still remember how she'd ran around the two-storey building, just marveling at the pretty wallpapers on the walls, the wooden floors, the windows, carpets, books… everything! But most of all the potted plants around the house. It had been like she'd never before been in a normal house like that before.

When thinking about it before, she had always reasoned that she and her real parents had lived in some very strange place, but now, with Hojo's words, and this cold, sterile place, Aeris started to wonder if that was really the case. If… if Hojo had really known her when she was still a child, could it be possible that she had spent her first years here, or in some other laboratory like this?

ShinRa had come after her even when she had been a child. She could remember Tseng, an older boy who she had seen around the slums, come by in a dark blue suit, trying to get her to come with him. She never did, but he would always say the same things the President had just said… she had powers. She could help people. She could lead them to the Promised Land. She always called him a liar, hid her powers, the fact that she could hear voices every now and then. But Tseng kept on visiting them, trying to get her to come with him.

Mother had always known, of course. Aeris had tried to keep things hidden, but Elmyra had found out. And Aeris had realized later on that the older woman had always known, even if she'd let the girl keep her secrets. She must have heard the girl whispering and talking to the voices she used to hear. They still spoke to her, sometimes. The voices of the dead Ancients.

Tseng and the President were right. She did have powers, and she could help people. In a way, she could even take them to the Promised Land. But besides the occasional healing, she had never really used any of her powers. She had always been afraid to. Afraid that ShinRa would come and take her away. Afraid of what would happen once she was caught. She had never quite understood the fear, why the possibility terrified her so much that she was willing to lie like that and live in hiding. Hojo seemed to be at the bottom of the fear, now that she'd met him. Again?

Hojo, the familiarity of the place, the lost years… could they all be connected somehow? And would she want to remember any of it, even if she could?

Hojo tapped the glass wall of her prison with his knuckles. Aeris was startled out of her thoughts, and turned to look up at him. The professor smirked, showing surprisingly white teeth.

"I hope Wutai falls soon. I can't wait to get you out of there, specimen A-2…"

Aeris watched, eyes wide with horror, as the chuckling man walked away.

* * *

"Cloud!"

The spellcaster and Zack both turned at the familiar female voice, and were equally surprised when they saw Sephiroth's mother waving and walking towards them. Yuffie had just left them near the airship, telling them to wait here while she went to get them both a chocobo.

"Lady Meriko! What are you doing here? There's a war going on, you know?" Zack said with a grin and a wink when she reached them. Cloud punched him in the ribs with his elbow.

Lady Meriko smiled at them. She didn't resemble her son much; she was a little taller than Cloud, so taller than average, but her eyes were almost black, as was her long hair, tied up in a tight bun to keep it out of the way. Unlike her usual traditional clothes, she was now wearing a black shirt and army trousers.

"He's right, though. It's dangerous here." The spellcaster admitted and yelped when the woman suddenly enveloped him in a tight hug. Zack chuckled and rubbed at his ribs. At this rate, he'd soon be bruised.

"I'm so glad you are alive and well, Cloud." She whispered to the spellcaster. Cloud blushed and awkwardly held her back. He couldn't think of anything to say, and was relieved when she let him go. Her next words came as a punch to the stomach.

"Please, can you tell me how Sephiroth died? I just want to know…"

Cloud opened his mouth but couldn't get anything past the huge lump in his throat. Zack put a hand on his shoulder and bowed his head.

"The men who captured them killed him. He refused to surrender to them, and sacrificed himself so that Cloud could escape."

The spellcaster could only blink when Lady Meriko burst into tears and threw her arms around both their necks. Zack patted her on the back and glared at Cloud to keep him quiet. The blond found that amusing; he couldn't say anything at the moment even if he tried.

"Thank you. That was a good way to die. His spirit surely reached the Promised Land, then." Lady Meriko whispered before pulling away. She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes before continuing. "As for your question… everyone who can fight or do anything to help has come here to the capital. We will not give up, we'll all fight to the last."

With that, she bowed at them again, said her farewells and ran off, still wiping her tears. Zack and Cloud watched after her, and when she disappeared into the throng of people the spellcaster finally managed to open his mouth.

"Why did you lie to her?"

Zack shrugged. "No use to bring more pain to her. Or you."

"I guess." Cloud said after thinking on it for a while. "Thanks."

Yuffie soon arrived, riding on a yellow chocobo and holding on to the reins of another, which followed her obediently. She jumped off the large bird effortlessly and offered the reins to the two men with barely a word. The two Peacemakers thanked and saluted her. Yuffie blushed a little and nodded to them before taking off towards the airship.

Cloud and Zack climbed onto the chocobos and started to head out of town again, to the southeast coast, where ShinRa's ships were.

**-x-x-x-**

The war was finally over. Sephiroth had began to think that he'd never see the day. But here it was. The war was over, ShinRa was gone from Wutai (once again), and peace reigned. And he had been in love for near a year now. THAT was even harder to believe at times than the fact that the war was over, but yes, he admitted, it was the truth. All right, so it had only been like nine, ten months so far – ten months and four days, actually, but it was not like he was counting or anything – but he had never thought possible that this kind of a thing would come his way. He was in love with someone who also was in love with him. How sweet was that? How sweet, brilliant, wonderful and perfect was that?

Sephiroth blushed a little, even though he was all alone with his thoughts at the moment, and no one would see the silly little grin on his face. He was safe. The war was over, he was in love, and they were free to go anywhere they wanted! Well, after a quick trip to the north. He was actually waiting eagerly to get back there, to see his old tutors and friends, to relax in the cool shade of the strange seashell-buildings, to smell the crisp wind of the mountains. It was a place almost as dear to him as the land of Wutai. It was a home away from home.

The tall man hummed quietly as he started to pull on clothes after the quick shower. Ah, the simple luxuries of life: not having to wash himself in the muddy waters of the trenches. He had thought his hair would never be clean after years of that. The sun was already high in the sky, but this far north it was common this time of the year. The summer days were long and sunny, the summer nights short and warm. Granted, it was just March, but hell, he was in LOVE, it could have been raining small chocobos and moogles and he'd still sworn that it was the warmest day ever.

"All right, Sephiroth, get a grip." He muttered to himself and grinned at his image in the mirror. The small love bite on his neck reminded him of last night's lovemaking, which didn't exactly help in wiping the silly grin from his face. "This is a big day, have to play it cool." He cleared his throat and managed a straight face. With a curt nod to the general in the mirror, Sephiroth left the dressing room and walked briskly to the bedroom where his languid lover was still fast asleep in their bed. The tall man let a soft smile spread on his lips at the sight as he walked around the bed to pull the curtains open. Warm sun streamed in immediately, and there was a protesting moan from the depths of the pillows.

Sephiroth turned and stopped to look at his lover, hands on his hips. Cloud really loved to burrow into the sheets and blankets. Too bad he couldn't allow the smaller blond to sleep much longer.

"Wake up, love. We have to get ready." Sephiroth said. Cloud refused to wake up, he just pulled the blanket over his head to escape both the sunshine and his lover. The general shook his head despairingly, smirked and deftly grabbed the bed sheets. Cloud had no idea what happened when he soon found himself nearly flying into the air as the sheets disappeared from underneath him. He fell back to the bed, clutching his blanket, blue eyes as wide as they could go. Sephiroth leaned over him and planted a kiss just above them.

"Hurry now, you don't want to miss the ceremonies. Lord Godo intends to send us off with a bang."

**-x-x-x-**

It was late in the afternoon when they got close enough to see ShinRa's ships and troops. They'd met a few of the scouts on the way, heading to Wutai to give their report. The two Peacemakers had already seen ShinRa's side from the airship; they had seemed almost harmless from so high. But here on ground level, it was obvious that harmless was the last thing ShinRa was.

"What do you think?" Cloud asked quietly. They were miles away from the shore, up on the side of a mountain, completely unseen from so far, but he still kept his voice down.

Zack followed a few of ShinRa's own scouts on chocobos with his eyes for a moment. "Well, quite frankly my dear… I think that we are in deep shit. Up to our necks. Possibly even higher. I wouldn't go opening my mouth much."

Cloud rolled his eyes. "I guess there really is a silver lining on every cloud, then."

"Not on you, you sourpuss."

The spellcaster relaxed a bit. He hadn't even realized his whole body had been so tense until Zack's words had calmed him down a bit. The fighter seemed to be pretty good in calming people. "I'd say there's… at least 9 000 of them."

Zack had a pair of binoculars and was watching the action on the beach. "I'd say you're about right. All the ships are farther away from the shore now. I guess they've kicked everyone out."

"But they're not moving out yet. That's good, gives us some time." Cloud muttered with a slow nod. "I'm hoping it'll take them the rest of the day to get everything organized. That way they won't get moving until tomorrow morning."

"That's the bad side of having such a buttload of people, I guess." Zack said, binoculars still on his eyes.

"Can you tell if they're all real fighters? Any idea how many Soldiers?"

"Nah, we'd have to get closer, but that'd be a bad idea. You know, kinda like calling out your lover's mother's name while making love. THAT kind of a bad idea. If we go down there, they won't be able to shovel us into plastic bags, we'll be in such small pieces."

"…" Cloud decided not to say anything, just rubbed at his eyes.

They stood on the mountain side for the better part on an hour, watching, the binoculars changing hands every now and then. Heavy rain clouds were gathering over the wide stretch of water between the larger continent and Wutai. It was a good sign for them, as ShinRa's troops were now busy putting up tents to shelter themselves from the rain. They wouldn't leave the shore until the following morning. Like the other scouts, Cloud and Zack managed to count that there were a few hundred scouts and spear-men on chocobos, staying a bit away from the footmen. They couldn't tell the number of Soldiers and common troops, or whether they really were all fighters.

"Can we even stop to worry about it?" Cloud muttered from between clenched teeth. He was both angry at ShinRa and cold; a strong wind was heralding the storm. "If we have to stop in front of every enemy to figure out if they're soldiers or children forced to come here, they'll have killed us three times before we've hit them once. I don't know if we have any option but kill everyone who comes at us."

"I love you, my little rain cloud." Zack said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "But I guess you're right. It's kill or be killed this time. ShinRa's not giving us an option."

"And you can bet that he'll use the situation to his own ends. I can just see the ShinRa propaganda: Wutaians killing children, slaughtering the eager boys and girls who just want to fight for a good cause. It won't matter that he orchestrated the whole thing. I wish someone would just stick a sword into the President's back." Cloud took the binoculars Zack offered to him and peered at the troops. Zack grimaced at his words.

"Do you really have to say all those horrid things?"

"You know they're true." The spellcaster said with a shrug.

"Yeah, but it doesn't mean I couldn't live without hearing them."

"… Sorry. I guess I'm no fun."

"Yeah." Cloud glared at the fighter for the affirmation. "But I still love you, Cloudy. The fact that you're no fun is just one of those ugly truths we could live without hearing."

"…" Cloud tossed the binoculars back at Zack, who had to hurry to catch them before they flew off the ledge they were standing on.

They stayed on the ledge for a little while longer, until the first drops of rain reached them. Then they decided to head back before the rain would make the cliffs dangerously slippery. The clouds were now covering the sky above them as well, and the afternoon was quickly turning as dark as a late evening.

"Have you decided yet whether you'll stay here or head over to Midgar?" Cloud asked after they'd reached ground level again, and the chocobos could run a bit faster. Zack shrugged.

"I guess the airship must've headed off by now, with the kids. I don't think there's any other way to leave. And… if I left now, even if it's to save Aeris, I'd just worry about you guys. I still feel like I'm abandoning her, but… my place is here."

"Thank you." Cloud said quietly. "I know that it must not have been an easy decision, but I'm glad that you're here."

"It's funny… I'm kinda glad, too. I miss Aeris, but… eh, she'd kick my ass for leaving you here alone." Zack said quietly, but loud enough for Cloud to hear. His chocobo wouldn't let him mull on it for long as it warked loudly and suddenly spurted forward. The fighter almost fell from its back, but managed to hold on and swore at his mount. "I miss Jammy…" he moaned when he managed to get back to Cloud's side. The blond was having better luck with his bird. Jammy and Xenia were still in Fort Condor, they had not managed to bring them along on the airship when they left the fort in such a hurry.

"How did you ever get a green chocobo anyway? They're pretty rare." The spellcaster asked, glad at the change of subject. He'd been wondering about it for a while, but had never remembered to ask. Most chocobos were plain yellow, but some were bred to be green, blue, black or even golden.

"I've never told you?" Zack asked with a wide grin and continued when Cloud shook his head. "It was around the time when the last war in Wutai started. I was still pretty wet behind the ears. I mean, I'd joined about two years earlier, and I had gone on missions and such from near the beginning, but never on my own. And on one of those gigs, my tutor and I went to North Corel to try and defuse this bad situation between the townsfolk and ShinRa. The bastards wanted to build a reactor there, 'cause the area is pretty rich that way, but the people weren't really lookin' forward to it since Gold Saucer nearby, another one of ShinRa's bright ideas, had already turned their town into a place people just passed through when going there or coming back. So they were puttin' their foot down, and ShinRa was about to get nasty."

Cloud was nodding to the words, he could remember hearing about the situation when he was still living and studying in the north. Generally spellcasters stayed at the headquarters longer than fighters, since they had far more to learn, and since fighters could just follow their tutors around, from fight to fight. Or, as in Zack's case, from near-fight to near-fight. Some spellcasters worked the same way, of course, but most masters were happy to stay in one place, teach their students there, and keep on studying themselves. Since Cloud had wanted to learn to fight with a weapon as well, he had gone along to a few battles while still a student. More so after his magic skills developed enough that he could heal and cause a whole lot of damage. He had been pretty sought-after, even if he wasn't the friendliest person around.

"Well, anyway, we managed to make some sorta peace there, and ShinRa pulled out after we made it clear that they wouldn't get North Corel without one hell of a fight. And since they'd just started the war in Wutai, they didn't want to start any more shit right then.

"Once ShinRa was out, we stayed there for a while, just in case. My tutor, he was from the area, so he knew people there. Me, I knew no one. And it got a bit boring, it's not such a big place, you know. So one day, I thought I'd head to the Gold Saucer. Even tho it's ShinRa's, you know. I _was_ pretty bored. I'd been there once before, when I was still a kid. I spent all day in Wonder Square back then, but this time," Zack flashed him a huge grin, "_this time_ I was old enough to go to the Speed Square, the Battle Arena, and most importantly, to the chocobo races." Zack had to struggle for a moment again to get the large bird under control. The heavy clouds above were making it nervous.

"I didn't have much money, but I still placed some bets. Just because I was piss-poor didn't mean I couldn't win something. Too bad I didn't know much about the chocobos, which one to bet on. I lost everything, so it's a good thing the Peacemakers pay for the trips they send us on."

"Oh, yeah…" Cloud muttered and rolled his eyes, smiling a bit at the fighter's words.

"No, seriously. Without that, I'd been left stranded SO many times. But anyway, there I was, gil-less and more bored than ever. Imagine it: I was in the fun capital of the world, and had no money whatsoever. You can't get much more pathetic than that."

"Don't bet on it." Cloud said and almost laughed when Zack tried to catch him into a headlock. "So what happened then?"

"Ass. Well, I was still hanging around the Chocobo Square, trying to look pitiful enough that some winner would throw me a gil or two, when I started to hear some pretty loud warking from a way off. I went to see what was going on, and saw one of the jockeys who'd lost with his green chocobo. Yeah, Jammy. The bastard was beating her because she'd lost!"

"What an asshole." Cloud huffed, frowning.

"Yeah, tell me about it! I wanted to go over and punch him around a little, but realized that it would just get me into trouble. So I follow them when they head to the chocobo stables. The guy just drops Jammy off and heads out, still swearing to himself, threatening to make her next week's dinner. When the coast is clear, I sneak into the stables, pick up a worker's uniform jacket someone's left lying around, and a hat, and head over to her. Aww man, you should have seen her! She was huddled into this small ball in the corner, shivering and cooing quietly. My friggin' heart broke at the sight."

"I can imagine." Cloud said with a sour look. He didn't have much sympathy for people who mistreated animals, not when all most animals wanted was love, something they gave back to their owners unconditionally.

"I couldn't just leave her there, so I searched the whole place and found a backdoor with an elevator big enough for a chocobo. Probably the way they used to bring them in. When no one was around, I put some reins on her and took her out of the stables. She was warbling quietly, but did as she was told. I kept telling her that no one would hurt her again, and she didn't seem so scared.

"We got into the elevator without being noticed, and once we were as down as it would go, got out. We'd reached the bottom of the Gold Saucer. There were a lot of people walking around there, workers and stuff. They saw me, of course, but didn't try to talk to me or ask what I was doing, so I guess they were pretty used to seeing people carting chocobos around.

"There was this long tunnel out of the Saucer, it took us underground to the other side of the desert surrounding the place. I swear, Jammy was getting braver and braver the farther we got, and when we got out of the tunnel and through this small camp-thing with supplies going in and out, she was trying to take off running. About then is when the staff started shouting and coming for us. So I jumped onto her back, held on, and we ran off towards the south.

"We took the long way back to North Corel, took us almost two days. During that time, we became near inseparable. When we got back and my tutor saw Jammy, he just rolled his eyes and figured that he'll have to make arrangements for getting her to the north, too. The guys from Gold Saucer were still looking for her and me, but since the people at Corel didn't like them much and we were leaving in a few days anyway, they kept their mouths shut." Zack finished with a happy sigh. "And that's the epic story of how Jammy became mine."

"So… in other words, you stole her?" Cloud asked with a grin.

"I prefer the term 'saved', thank you very much." Zack said with a wider grin.

Cloud chuckled. "Whatever you say."

* * *

Aeris didn't know how long she had sat on the cold floor of the glass cylinder anymore. She thought it must have been near nightfall by now. The scientist had left the laboratory ages ago, all but Hojo, and even the professor had retired to a control room about half a floor above her. Most of the lights were turned off, making the odd sounds and howls coming from the floor below seem all the more frightening. One of the scientist had told her that they were Hojo's other specimens when he had opened the door enough to give her some food. Besides Hojo's few words, he had been the only one to say anything to her.

She had pushed the thoughts of the years long gone from her mind, and was trying to figure out a way to get out of this place. Unfortunately nothing was coming up, nothing that would really work. Even if she could get out of the cylinder, there were cameras everywhere. She was near the top of the ShinRa HQ, which was full of security personnel and other staff 24 hours of the day. And even if she somehow managed to get out and sneak away unseen, they still had Elmyra.

She was just wondering if she'd ever manage to fall asleep here when one of the doors of the laboratory suddenly opened silently. The only reason she could tell that someone had entered was because of the light that had streamed in during the short moment the door had been open. She tried to peer through the darkness but couldn't make out who was out there. Didn't matter much, she figured. It was probably one of Hojo's underlings, and they were not going to help her anyway. So she was very surprised when Tseng suddenly stepped out of the darkness to stand outside her prison.

"Hello, Aeris." The former slum dweller turned Turk said quietly, raising one hand to the glass. Aeris struggled to her feet, kind of hard after she'd sat in the same position all day, and rushed to him. The thick glass however separated them.

"Tseng! Can you get me out of here?" Aeris asked. It was a small chance, but she'd take anything right about now. But Tseng just stared at her for a moment before shaking his head.

"I am sorry, Aeris. Sorry that this happened." The Turk said so quietly that she barely heard him. She tried calling him but he turned his back on her and started to head up the stairs to where Hojo was.

Aeris wanted to cry, but refused to give Hojo the satisfaction of seeing her broken. At this rate, he'd have plenty of chances for that later on. She just slumped against the glass and slid to the floor, biting her lower lip to keep the tears in check.

She had no idea where Zack and Cloud were at the moment, but she prayed that they would come and save her and Elmyra. As much as she disliked being the damsel in distress, she really didn't see how she could get out of this one on her own.

* * *

Night was already falling by the time they reached Wutai again, and the rain had reached the town as well. The chocobos had almost slipped on the muddy ground several times, and the two slid off their mounts as soon as they reached the first buildings. The town seemed almost abandoned now, with everyone taking shelter from the rain inside. Barricades and moats around the town were nearly finished; supplies of all sorts were piled next to every house, and covered now with waterproof cloths. Light shone from inside some of the windows, others were covered with heavy curtains already.

"Damn, they're fast." Zack muttered, looking around. The rain and the silence over the town created almost a ghostly atmosphere.

"They still remember the last war, and know what to do." Cloud said and shivered in his soaked clothes. "Come on, let's get the chocobos to the stables, and then find someplace warm. I want some sake."

"Yeah." Zack nodded and followed the blond, who seemed to know where he was going. They soon reached one of the small stables around the town, and left the chocobos into good hands. Cloud then headed to an inn called the Turtle's Paradise, and the fighter followed, sighing with relief when through dark doors they stepped into a warm room bathed in yellow light, and filled with people talking to each other quietly. He even spotted a few familiar faces and greeted them with a smile and a wave of his hand.

They were taken upstairs and given towels and some dry clothes – Wutaian army clothes – and once they were relatively dry again, they headed back to the common room where a few Peacemakers invited them to their table. Cloud got his wish, and emptied his first cup of hot sake at once. Zack was a bit more careful with his cup; the drink was so strong that it tended to go straight to his head, especially now that he'd barely eaten anything in a few days. He had to actually stop and think on when he had last eaten properly, and figured that it had to be in Fort Condor. That's why he frowned when Cloud downed his second cup as fast as the first one.

"Hey, take it easy, ok? Remember the last time you got drunk?"

Cloud shivered, remembering that one damned day in Midgar. He ran a hand through his short neck hairs, slightly embarrassed. "It's alright, I'm not gonna do anything like that again. Ever. Trust me."

"I'd trust you a whole lot more if you let go of your cup." Zack murmured and grinned when the spellcaster glared at him. He did, however, push the cup away and shook his head when the man next to him offered to fill it again.

They told the other people in their table of what they'd seen at the shore, and even though it was nothing new from what the other scouts had already reported, it made them swear.

"At least the damned rain keeps them from doing much tonight." Cloud muttered, looking at the nearest window. It was covered with thick, black cloth, but the patter of the rain on the glass could almost be heard over the low murmur.

"And it'll take them a while to get from there to here, too." Zack said with a nod. Most of the ShinRa troops were footmen; they could only walk so fast.

"But there's still at least nine times as many of them as there are of us." A young Wutaian woman said, shaking her head.

"Well, yeah. There is that." Zack said and leaned against the back of his chair, leaning his head back to stare at the ceiling. He and Cloud had decided not to mention the bluff ShinRa had pulled elsewhere to anyone else besides Godo, at least not without talking with the man and the masters first. It would only bring grief to people. And there really wasn't a choice; they'd have to kill anyone who came at them.

Little by little the common room grew quieter as people retired into their homes, upstairs, or to houses that had opened their doors for the guests to sleep in. The other Peacemakers they had sat with took Cloud and Zack with them to one of the nearby houses, where the dwellers brought them pillows and blankets, and they went to sleep on hard tatami mats. The rain was still falling on the roof above them when the two finally fell asleep.

The following morning was as cold and grey as the previous afternoon had been. News of the scout's reports had spread all over the town by then, so everyone knew that this was probably their last day of peace. For some, it was to be their last day on earth, and not all could take the fact calmly. Those who had fought before, who had laid their lives on the line in the previous war, were preparing themselves. But the younger ones, those who had been too young last time, those who may have thought that war was something great, they were now realizing that glory could go take a hike, they were enjoying being alive, thank you very much.

The day passed quietly. Even though the town was about ready to defend itself, supplies still needed to be carried, moats dug deeper, barricades built higher. Higher-ups were in meetings discussing strategies, listening to scout's reports, dividing troops. Trying to pretend that this would be something else than a horrible massacre.

Even with all the activity, there wasn't enough to do for everyone. The rest of the people just rested, waited on the barricades or did some last minute training. Materia was handed out to anyone who could use any kind of spells. Cloud had offered to give a simple crash-course of materia using to anyone who dared it, and it had kept him busy most of the day. He had opted not to join most of the meetings even though he was invited, since his role in the battles would most likely be what it always was; stay back and bomb the bad guys with spells. At least this time they had a few dozen other spellcasters, a few of them masters. Some were still students, but they could still cause a lot of damage. But would it be enough, they'd have to wait and see.

Zack had attended a few meetings and even done a bit of scouting. ShinRa had left from the coast before the crack of dawn, and by the speed they were making they'd reach the town by nightfall, unless weather or terrain forced them to stop. So this would indeed be the last peaceful day.

"At least the children are safe." Cloud muttered when he and Zack sat down on top of one of the barricades for a light snack. The fighter had just returned from his short scouting trip, and had finished telling the blond what he had seen.

"Yeah. Any word on them?" Zack asked and chomped off almost half of his sandwich.

"Only that they've arrived safely."

"Good. Where?"

"Better that we don't know. What we don't know can't be squeezed out of us." Cloud said gloomily. Zack just nodded. "Besides, it's not certain that ShinRa couldn't catch the transmission and listen in. It's safer this way."

"Yeah. We just have to trust that they'll be ok." Zack said quietly and sighed, staring at his sandwich.

"Thinking about Aeris?" Cloud asked as quietly. The fighter nodded.

"Yeah. I really miss her, and wish that I'd know for sure that she is ok. I mean, intellectually I know that whatever ShinRa wants of her requires that she's alive, or they would have killed her already. But I still worry."

"Me too." Cloud said quietly and, surprising even himself, leaned over to wrap his arm around Zack's shoulder. The fighter started a little but soon melted into the comforting gesture.

"Hey. I've been meaning to ask, but you know, it's been kind of busy…" Zack said after a long quiet moment. "How are you holding up, Cloud? I mean, after everything…"

Cloud stiffened and shook his head sharply. "Barely. I'm glad it's been busy. No time to think. About anything." His voice was sharp and lacked all emotion. Zack turned to look at his face and felt a chill at the mask he saw there.

"I'm gonna need you to promise something to me, okay Cloud?"

"What?" the blond asked uneasily. He had a hunch what the fighter would say.

"Promise me that you'll get through this alive. These battles, I mean. Don't let them kill you just because it would be an easy way out. Okay?"

The spellcaster turned to look the other way, and pulled his arm away as well. "Chances are we're all going to die."

"I know, but… just… don't give up, okay? I can't even begin to understand what you're going through, but don't let it eat you alive. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you."

"Don't worry…" Cloud said eventually, staring at his hands in his lap. He then turned to Zack and gave him a small, one-sided smile. "We still have to save Aeris, don't we?"

"Yeah." Zack said with a wide grin which was only slightly strained. "I love you, Cloud, you know that?"

Cloud blushed and scratched his neck, a gesture he'd picked up from the fighter himself. "Idiot."

"I know you are, but what am I?" Zack asked and took off running as Cloud aimed a low level lightning bolt after him.

Night fell almost too soon. The stars were just appearing on the sky when the last scouts hurried back, informing the town that ShinRa was near. And soon the guards on the barricades saw the first torches of the approaching army. The lights came closer in the night, and eventually stopped about a mile from the capital. Guards, generals, masters and curious ones flooded the barricades, watching, knowing that the following morning would bring with it bloodshed.

Not many could sleep well with the knowledge, and some of the healers and other magic-users went around town, offering to put a Sleep-spell on anyone who so wanted. Some did, wanting to forget for a precious few more hours what waited for them. Some didn't, wanting to spend the last peaceful hours watching the sky, talking with friends, enjoying a few drinks or their favourite books.

Cloud was pacing around the small room he, Zack and a few other Peacemakers were sleeping at. He would probably have kept on walking until he dropped of exhaustion or the sun rose, had Zack not grabbed him eventually and forced him to lie down. To make sure the spellcaster stayed down and got some rest, the fighter had wrapped both of his strong arms around the blond's waist, and held onto him all through the night. Eventually they both had drifted off to sleep, comforted by the other's presence.

Morning was even faster in coming than the previous evening had been. Too soon the sun rose behind clouds, and the fighters with it. After a quick breakfast everyone headed quietly to where ever their place in the coming battle was.

Zack held his best friend tight in the misty morning, not wanting to let go. He was ready to swear that Cloud was shaking in his arms, and feared that he was about to break. But the spellcaster assured him that he was as fine as he could be under the circumstances, and with one last hug, Cloud headed off to the roof of one of the houses, from where he would throw his spells. Zack looked after him for a long moment before whispering a prayer to any god who would listen, to keep Cloud and Aeris both safe, and headed towards the front lines.

Once on the barricades he could see that ShinRa had risen earlier than they had, and the soldiers were standing in neat lines on the other side of a large field that separated the two sides. The fighter breathed deep and wished he was far away from here. The farther the better. He didn't want to die, and he firmly believed that he was not the only one here thinking that very same thought. Hell, he could barely hear the thought being screamed out loud in everyone's head. But still, here they stood, ready to defend their homes to the last.

From the letters Sephiroth had sent him, and the few storied of the last war Cloud had told him, Zack knew of the song the Wutaians sang before heading off to battle. Still, it startled him a little when first just a few quiet voices started to sing. Soon more and more voices joined in, and he hoped that the song would carry out all the way to ShinRa's soldier's ears, so that they knew what waited for them.

_"If this should be, our final stand,_  
_ We will stand together with pride._  
_ We will honour the past, and fight to the last,_  
_ It will be a good way to die._

_"It matters not, if the cause is lost,_  
_ And we can not stop the tide._  
_ We will fight to the end, and then fight again,_  
_ It will be a good way to die._

_"Our time is short, our chance is grim,_  
_ But I will not give into fear._  
_ I can face death with an open heart,_  
_ If I know that you are near."_

The song faded out into the misty morning, disappearing into the cool air like the breath from the singers' mouths. The first lines lowered their spears, bows and guns towards the attackers as ShinRa's men started towards them with a roaring shout.

* * *

The small bar in the slums of Midgar was full as always, of both people and smoke. The air was so thick that it could be sliced with a knife, but the patrons didn't come there for their health anyway. People were huddled around small, stained tables, talking quietly to each other or just mulling over their drinks. A muted television blinked above the bar, transmitting news of the metropolis, but no one cared enough to watch or to turn the volume on. They didn't need to be reminded that they were stuck in Midgar.

The closed atmosphere was broken momentarily when the door opened and closed. Louder than normal voices spoke in hasty words, which spread over the bar quickly. Heads rose from private conversations, patrons turned to other tables to hear what was going on. The words 'Turks', 'kidnapped' and 'flower girl' were repeated in various sentences. Soon the whole bar was muttering the rumour.

A chair clattered to the floor as a young, blond man suddenly stood up, more than a little drunk. People around him fell silent as the man turned slowly around and peered across the room to the door, where the original messenger still stood, now staring at him as well. A black-haired man in the blond's table raised a hand to his eyes as the whole bar seemed to be looking at them.

"Hey…" the blond said, his voice rough from cigarettes and too much alcohol as he pointed at the messenger with a shaky finger, "What did you jhust say… about Aeris? And the Dursh?"

.

* * *

**A.N.:** …you didn't think I wouldn't bring those two back, did you? And yeah, Hojo is still alive. Damn it.

The song the Wutai warriors were singing before going to battle is from the sci-fi series Lexx, an episode called Brigadoom. It seemed perfect for the scene and the mood I wanted. One of the characters, Kai, is just a cape, claw and a pulse away from being Vincent.

…I think my FF7-craze turned 5 years old last January… heh. And I'm still not through with it! XD


	16. Chapter 12: Fucking

Warning: If you are queasy about swearing, ask someone to bleep most of this chapter for you, please. Cid is excited. I enjoyed writing him and Vincent so much that it's probably illegal.

This isn't proofread as much as I like the chapters to be, but for that it would have had to wait till Monday, and I couldn't pass the opportunity of updating on 777.

As always, I own nothing. Thank you all so much for the comments!

EDIT: Fixed a pretty bad mistake. D'oh. Plus some spelling errors while I was at it. 28.8.07

.

* * *

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**Chapter Twelve**

**Fucking**

**.  
**

"I'm sayin' that ShinRa's been pissin' on our boots for way too long! It's about time we pissed back! They've fucked us in the ass all these years, shoved us down 'ere where we have no daylight, no nice things, and barely enough food to feed our frickin' kids! I say, we go up on that Plate right now and FUCK HIM OVER!"

The crowd below him cheered, brandishing torches, pitchforks, shovels, baseball bats, even a few swords and guns. They were the veritable image of an angry mob. And the more their rallyer swore, the more they cheered. The more they cheered, the more he swore.

Vincent covered his face with his hand and sighed. How had a nice night of drinking ended up as a god-damned mutiny against ShinRa?

It was a rhetorical question of course, since he knew the answer himself. Hell, he HAD been there after all. It WAS his boyfriend who was egging the slum dwellers on to overthrow ShinRa once and for all. And by Shiva's icy ass, the morons were ready to do anything he said.

This would NOT end well. Vincent didn't have to guess that. He KNEW. In his damned bones.

He also knew that he would be right up there on Cid's side.

"So are we going?" Cid screamed. The crowd answered the affirmative. "I said, ARE WE GOING?" Cid was clearly enjoying this.

"YES!" The crowd answered, angry as anything. Cid hooted, threw both his hands into the air, grabbed his spear from his side, kissed Vincent on his other side – causing a lot more approving screaming - and jumped down from the low hut's ceiling. Vincent thought about shooting him right there and then, but figured that the angry mob would kill him for it. And hey, who was he really to stop them from overthrowing the company of the man who everyone here hated?

It had all started last night, when the rumour that the Turks had captured Aeris and her mother spread to their ears. Aeris was fairly well known in the slums, thanks to her flowers, kind nature and healing abilities. Most people had been truly happy for her when she had gotten out of Midgar, out of ShinRa's reach, even if it meant that they lost their healer. To know that she was now robbed of her freedom, stuck in the ShinRa HQ, had infuriated the slum dwellers. And all it took was one drunk and excitable Cid to rally them on to take arms, go up on the damn plate and free her.

Of course, they hadn't just decided to do this and left immediately. They had spent the better part of last night planning, and had agreed that if they were going to kick ShinRa's ass, they'd better do it now when people were still pissed, and when ShinRa had not had a chance to hurt Aeris yet. Cid had been 'chosen' as the spokesperson because he was, to put it frankly, loudest. And still quite drunk, and therefore not thinking as clearly as he could be.

Vincent had to admit, though; with the crowd behind them, they did make for a scary sight. A smelly one too, but mostly scary.

It took a while for the whole mob to make it up to the plate, and to get together again and to head over to the ShinRa HQ. People who lived up there either stopped to stare or ran from their path. Some guards tried to stop them, but were informed that this was a protest against the conditions in the slums, hadn't they gotten the memo? Really, communication was so lacking these days. And as the crowd marched on, the few guards couldn't really do much to stop them.

* * *

The rivers in and around Wutai, the hills, mountains and the thick forests were probably the only reason why so many Wutaians and Peacemakers were still alive. ShinRa had been attacking relentlessly since dawn, but they had not yet managed to breach into the city itself. Battles had not reached it during the last few wars, so the attackers were completely unfamiliar with the terrain. They weren't using cannons or large grenades. The defenders figured ShinRa wanted the city as whole as possible.

Cloud stood on the ceiling of a small house, as near to the main battle as possible. He had quite a good view from his high perch, and as many victims for his spells as he could ever want. He was close enough to be able to watch the attackers, and far enough that he didn't have to actively fear for his life as he watched them, waiting until he could cast more spells.

There were some Soldiers, ShinRa's elite troops in the front rows, but most seemed to be just normal people. Barely able to fight. Cannon fodder. Something for the Wutaians to tire themselves on so that they'd be easier to beat.

Cloud frowned and aimed a nasty Flare to a spot where it exploded into three Soldiers and a bunch of other fighters. He wanted to jump down there, to fight with his sword, but his place was here, in the back, with the other spellcasters, archers and healers. It was frustrating, and again, it gave him way too much time to think and remember.

A year ago the last war had been pretty much over. It had taken a long time and many lives, but the few men that had been left at that point had been pushed out. Cloud determinedly shoved all thoughts of Sephiroth aside and concentrated on the issue which had bothered him the most since Fort Condor: where was ShinRa pulling all these men from? The numbers had been a bluff at the Fort and at Icicle Inn, not so much at the Peacemaker's headquarters, and even less so here. Last year ShinRa had given up because of lack of men. Unless that had been a bluff as well.

Cloud swore and released an Ice-spell to the enemy lines. How long had ShinRa been planning this? What was the President's goal?

He wished that Sephiroth would be here, by his side. He could figure it out. But he wasn't, and even Zack was gone, somewhere out there, fighting on the barricades. If he was still alive. The blond didn't know, he hadn't seen Zack in ages. He should have asked Zack the same promise the fighter had demanded from him. Survive. He knew the fighter well enough to know that Zack was just the type of person who'd sacrifice himself for someone else. And there were plenty people here to sacrifice himself for.

"If it only were that easy…" Cloud muttered, tugging nervously at the strap of his wristband which held more materia than most people owned. "One sacrifice, and the rest can live." But he feared that ShinRa wouldn't give up until every Wutaian was dead.

* * *

"They walked in through the front doors." Reno said as he stared, stupefied, at the screens which showed them security camera footage from the main lobby. Beside him, Rude lowered his sunglasses a bit to see better.

Receptionists had escaped or hidden under their tables, and most guards were scrambling around to stop the mob pouring in through the large doors.

"They just walked in through the goddamn front doors." Reno repeated, spreading his hands. He let out a small laugh of disbelief.

"We can all see that." Tseng said with a calm voice from behind the redhead. He was always able to keep his cool. The redhead glared at his boss momentarily before turning back to the screens.

"Why isn't security doing anything?"

"They can't just open fire. There are ShinRa personnel in there. They'll stop the mob at the stairs." Tseng said nonchalantly. If Reno wouldn't stop whining, he'd send the redhead down to handle the situation himself. "This is the ShinRa Headquarters. They won't get far."

True to his words, the mob from the slums was stopped as they tried to get up the stairs and to the elevators. Most of ShinRa's troops – practically all Soldiers, every normal grunt they could spare, and every volunteer (and not so volunteer) they could muster – were in Wutai, but the remaining guards and the Turks (if needed) should be enough to keep some slum-trash under control.

Should be. But clearly they weren't.

"Is that little fucker carrying dynamite?" Reno asked just before a loud boom. Two of the screens buzzed and went black but no one noticed since the Turks were already running out of their office.

* * *

Once he had been branded a diplomat, Zack had more or less come to accept the fact that he wouldn't see much battle. Not if he did his job right. Still, he had seen his fair share, killed some people and nearly been killed himself. The battles in Fort Condor and at the HQ had been brutal and swift, but there had been a chance on both occasions to catch his breath. The battle at the Fort had ceased when night had fallen. Up at the HQ, it had ended quickly (and with a lot of rumble). But here, ShinRa was aiming to kill. Their goal seemed to be utter destruction of everyone who opposed them.

There was always someone to fight at the barricades: once one was cut down, there was a new, fresh fighter to take his place. They didn't allow the defenders any respite. Wutaians would be falling out of sheer exhaustion soon. They had the upper hand with the terrain, they had high, strong barricades, but they had to fight for every inch they wanted to keep.

Zack dived under the sword of the freshest attacker and lifted his own sword sharply up from the low position he was in, catching the man under the armour that protected his chest. He pushed the blade on and managed to cut open the soldier's stomach. Rising up fast, he pushed the man backwards so that he collapsed in a shower of blood onto the ladder that the attackers were using to climb the barricades. The three other men on it screamed as they fell to the ground. The fighter grimaced at the sight of the one bleeding to death on top of broken bones and struggling limbs.

A startled shout demanded his attention the next heartbeat, and he leaped forward just in time to block the heavy sword that was about to fall on a young Wutaian boy who was struggling to pull his own sword from a corpse at his feet. The boy nodded quickly with gratitude as Zack turned to the Soldier whose weapon he had blocked.

The Soldier was covered in blood, most likely from his comrades and enemies, and he didn't seem tired at all. Soldiers had far more stamina than normal men, Zack knew that. He felt his own knees tremble under the weight of his body, and his arms were starting to hurt. He was still blocking the sword of the Soldier who was intentionally not moving from his pose, grinning as he pushed the blade down, watching as Zack's strength left his body.

"So it's true then. No ShinRa dogs have any honor. Not even the Soldiers." Zack hissed, squinting as sweat trickled into his eyes.

The Soldier's smile disappeared for a second. "Big words from a dead man." He whispered and pushed the blade down, all the time holding the massive weapon –almost twice the size of Zack's Buster sword- with only one hand.

Zack growled under his breath and figured he was pretty much done for. Well, until the Soldier's eyes grew wide and he pulled his sword away, clutching at his stomach with his free hand. Zack blinked quickly and almost laughed when he realized that the boy he had just saved had shoved his freed sword into the Soldier's stomach while the man had been busy showing off his strength. The boy grinned at him, still holding his sword as the Soldier backed away, trying to buy himself enough time that his enhancements could cure him. Zack didn't allow that, though.

With one swift movement he swung his Buster-sword in a high arch, neatly cutting the Soldier's head off his shoulders. He then grabbed the back of the boy's shirt as he nearly followed the headless body down to the ground, sword still embedded into it.

"Let it go!" Zack shouted and they both nearly lost their balance when the boy did just that and the Soldier fell. "Thanks, kiddo."

"Thank you, sir. But now I need a new sword." The boy said back, looking around, ducking just in time from a spear that flew past.

"I suggest you get a bow and some arrows, and find a safe spot. Arrows you don't have to keep a hold of!" Zack shouted as he already ran towards the next Soldier, hoping to catch him before he'd reach the top of the barricade. The boy nodded and ran for it.

* * *

Aeris tried to make herself as small as possible in her glass prison, but it was no use. Hojo could, after all, walk around the see-through cell to peer at her with his inquisitive eyes, making notes to his ever-present files. Sometimes he asked or ordered her to get up, to come closer or to take off her clothes, but the flower girl ignored him. She knew Hojo wasn't allowed to touch her until the President had found his Promised Land.

Hojo did talk, though. He muttered to himself as he made his notes, speculated on Aeris's powers and what she had done between 'then' and now. She tried to ignore him and his words which she was able to hear after the professor had turned on a microphone and some speakers. They both were able to hear each other perfectly. Except that Aeris didn't talk, of course. She didn't want to hear his lies, hear how he spoke of her parents.

"Your father was a smart man. Wise, but foolish. He let his emotions get the better of him. Fell in love with your mother. Love has never done any good for anyone. Just look at him. The most brilliant scientist ever. Present company excluded, of course. And he gave it all up for her. To marry her, and to live with her, to impregnate her. I admit, she was not without her charms, your mother. But she wasn't worth it. Not worth giving up everything we worked so hard to achieve."

Aeris squeezed her eyes shut and tried to drown his voice out. Hojo was a liar, a big ugly liar, and she wouldn't listen. He wasn't to be trusted. Every time he opened his mouth he lied. She didn't want to believe him and his lies, but the words she couldn't close her ears from were bringing up images from her memory. Things she couldn't really place, feelings that made her choke.

"You don't want to believe me, do you?"

"Why should I?" Aeris spoke for the first time, still squeezing her eyes shut, clenching her teeth. "All you do is lie."

"Why would I lie?" His voice was amused, she could tell without looking that he was smirking. She refused to say more. "You know it to be true. You must remember, you showed such promise as a child. No matter how you've tried to suppress it, you haven't forgotten. Not really. You can try to deny it, but just you know…"

Aeris let out a low whimper as she heard his footsteps coming closer. The speakers didn't tell where he was standing, but she could feel his presence right behind her.

"I can make you remember."

* * *

After the explosion from the dynamite had made the ShinRa guards lunge for cover and the door behind them shatter, the other guards had opted to seek shelter as well. They weren't paid enough for this shit!

Vincent had ducked behind an upturned reception desk as soon as he'd spotted Cid with the dynamite. He loved his short, blond and psychotic boyfriend, had always known of his fascination with long, hard objects and big booms, but dynamite was a bit too much for him. The gothic man paused for a moment, looked at the semi-automatic he himself was carrying, and shrugged. Someone else could amuse themselves with the irony of the situation, he was kind of busy right now.

That was one thing he could say for Cid: it never got boring with the lunatic around.

"Come on ev'ryone! This way! We're goin' up!" Cid hollered from the top of the stairs and howled with glee as he ran through the smouldering opening. Vincent rolled his eyes and dashed out from behind the desk, hoping that the guards wouldn't kill too many of them. But a quick look to the side told him that they weren't even trying to stop the slum-dwellers. Maybe there were too many of them for just a few armed guards. Maybe they were scared. Maybe there was something more scary waiting upstairs. Or maybe they didn't care enough about their bosses and jobs to risk their necks. Maybe some of them even agreed with what the mob was doing. Vincent didn't know, and was really too busy to stop and ponder on it.

ShinRa was the biggest employer in Midgar (probably on the whole Planet) besides sucking the life out of the Planet and its dwellers, of course, so it was no wonder that some of the mob had worked even at the HQ enough to know something of the layout. Therefore the whole lot of them knew that the higher they got, the tighter the security, but the bigger the honchos. It was also likely that Aeris was being held in the higher floors. They would be stopped, eventually, and if they'd still be in any shape to make demands, they could ask for her to be freed. It was one of their goals, but as the night of planning had progressed, Vincent had realized that it wasn't just about freeing her anymore. The mob wanted to bring President ShinRa to his knees.

* * *

The fight had only slowed down during the afternoon hours when the sun above them had shone so brightly that the air had become too hot even for the ShinRa troops. They were still climbing the barricades, trying to force their way through or around them, but their attempts had weakened, even if only very slightly.

Cloud had taken the slight lull as an opportunity to leave his perch on the roof and head back into town, to see if he could be of any help there. The fight was, for the moment, focused to an area away from him, and only a few ShinRa soldiers wandered his way. The two young Wutaian archers who stood on nearby roofs could handle them.

There was a steady stream from the lines to the small hospitals. Or rather, they had been small when the day had started. Now there were too many men hurt, waiting to be healed. The spellcaster stopped to ponder only for a moment whether he should save his energy for offensive spells or start healing, and knelt next to the closest bed. He would do what he could.

It would have been easy to spend all his energy on healing, to make sure that the defenders wouldn't die out from wounds that could be cured. But Cloud held back, knowing that he'd soon have to return to the front lines. Still, he managed to help a few dozen men and women so that they could return to the fight, or at least wouldn't die of blood loss, shock or whatever was wrong with them.

It was a relief to be able to spend some time here, in the shade of the improvised tents and buildings around them. Away from the scorching sun, which had already burned his pale face and the backs of his hands. Last year he had tanned a lot. There had been long enough lulls in the fights with so few men on both sides that he, and others as well, of course, had been able to bathe in the spring sun after the cold and wet winter. Hell, they'd even gotten some civilian clothing at the camps, and had managed to pretend for small strips of time that there was no war, that they were just out there to enjoy the sun and the cool breeze.

He could still remember the black shirt Sephiroth had worn, with the red embroided dragon on its front. The man had immediately grabbed the shirt from the pile that they had been delivered, and since it was one of the very few items of clothing that actually fit around his broad chest and muscular arms, he had worn it with great pleasure.

They had even bathed in the cold streams.

It had been nice, until the sound of incoming grenades had shattered the illusion of peace.

Cloud shook his head and tried to swallow the thick lump in his throat. He nodded to the man on the blanket who was thanking him profusely, even if all he had done was help him heal so that he could go back to battle, back to the pain, back to die. Cloud dared a closer look at the man and realized he must have been barely eighteen. Without a word the spellcaster got up and hurried out of the tent, to stand again in the sunshine, trying to breathe around the ache in his chest.

It would all be over soon, they couldn't possibly survive much longer than this.

Not much longer…

When had that started to sound like a good thing?

* * *

She couldn't really remember them, her parents. She only had a handful of images of them in her mind; a pair of warm, green eyes. A smile, and the tickle of a beard or moustache on her cheek. Cold, and darkness, but also warm hands and a safe lap to fall asleep in. Quiet whispers, a breath on her neck. And blood. It always came down to blood when she tried to remember them. That's why she didn't do it too often. Its taste and smell became so strong, and she somehow knew that it was from one of them. Her mother or her father. Bleeding and dying.

Aeris opened her eyes and wasn't surprised to see Hojo standing on the outside, staring at her like he could see right through her. Dissecting her with his beady eyes. He hadn't left her alone, he was always standing outside the tank, staring, talking to her.

"Stop it! Leave me alone! I won't believe your lies!" Aeris jumped up and screamed, running over to the other side of the tank to bang at the glass in front of him with her fists. "Go away!"

Hojo smirked, showing shark teeth. "Temper, temper! You are breaking much faster than Sephiroth did. But then again, he had that pesky little bug to talk to. I couldn't afford to make him see the truth too fast. He needed to realize for himself."

"Shut up!" Aeris screamed, raising her fists to her ears, trying to block out his words. It was no use, though; Hojo turned the volume up so that his words rang inside the tank loud enough to hurt.

"Those fools thought they could take you and Sephiroth away from me. But I knew I'd get you both back. Sooner or later. Dead or alive. Now I have you. And as soon as the President is done with you, A-2, I can start my own project. Something all mine. His Jenova-genes, and your Ancient heritage… it will be something grand."

Aeris started to scream, hoping that it would drown him out.

* * *

Cid didn't turn around to see if anyone followed him anymore as he ran up the stairs unstopped. To him, this was personal. He had risked his own damn neck to get Aeris, her mother, Cloud and Zack out of Midgar, and now ShinRa had had the nerve to catch them and bring them back?

All right, so he didn't know for sure whether the bastards got his cousin or the spiky-haired twerp. But it was in a way worse to think that they hadn't been caught. They wouldn't let the Turks just waltz off with Aeris and her mom, oh no. If ShinRa had the women, it meant that they either had the other two as well, or that they had killed them. And Cidney Highwind would be damned if he'd let the bastards get away with it!

Whichever it was that they'd done.

He had more dynamite shoved into his pants, pockets, jacket, shirt and sleeves than he had cigarettes on him. His trusted spear was with him, and even if the mob would chicken out, he knew that Vinnie would follow him. They didn't always get along so well, they fought like any old couple, but they both also knew that they'd follow each other until the end of the world. Because that's what you did when you loved someone. They wouldn't quit halfway on each other. One fell, the other would be there to pick him up.

Cid stopped in his steps for a second, not even noticing how the people behind him almost bumped into him as they stopped as abruptly as he had.

"I'm a hopeless romantic…" Cid muttered to himself before shrugging and continuing upwards. He'd have to keep moving, and fast. Once the alcohol would be gone from his system he would be able to think straight again. And that would be all kinds of bad right now.

* * *

When Zack finally managed to catch his breath and give his shaking knees a break, he realized that he had ended up far from the spot where he had saved the kid from the Soldier. He wondered absent-mindedly whether the kid was still alive while he poured the last drops from his water-skin down his parched throat. The afternoon sun beat down on their armoured bodies with even less mercy than ShinRa.

He wished that the mist wouldn't have faded away, that the storm clouds had stayed over their heads. It would have been a much more proper weather for such a slaughter, and much easier to fight in as well. Slippery, maybe, but the sweat also made his palms so slippery that he kept having trouble holding his sword. He'd abandoned his gloves maybe an hour ago, after they'd been so soaked in sweat that it was just too uncomfortable to keep them on. If he was gonna die, he could at least go with some comfort.

…to think that just a few weeks ago he had been thinking that if he could confess his feelings to Aeris and not have her laugh in his face (which she wouldn't have done anyway, she wasn't like that, but fear was often unfounded), he would be a happy man. Now he was ready to settle for a quick and painless death.

They wouldn't make it out alive of this battle unless ShinRa troops suddenly just changed their tactics drastically. Other than that, they'd all die. Sooner or later.

Zack wished he'd have stuck by Cloud. At least he could have gone down next to someone he cared about. Not that he didn't care about the lives of those fighting and dying all around him right now, but it would have been nicer to have a true friend nearby. Somehow, he thought, it would have made it easier.

"Zack!"

Someone shouted his name, and for a few fleeting seconds the fighter thought that Cloud had found him, driven by the same wish he had. But the spellcaster's voice wasn't quite that hoarse, unless he'd been shouting for hours. But it wasn't that deep either.

Zack looked up from his spot down at the base of the barricade, safe for the moment from the enemy attacks, and soon saw a familiar face hurrying towards him from the direction of the town. He lifted a hand in greeting when Deren reached him.

"Hey. Nice to see a familiar face."

"Nice to see you're still alive, sir." Deren said, leaning his weight heavily onto his hands, which he had propped to his knees. "This is hell."

"Damn right." Zack muttered. "Any idea how many of us are still alive?"

"No, sir. I did see Cloud in town, he was at one of the hospitals." At Zack's shocked expression, he hurried to specify: "He was there healing the wounded. He seemed to be doing well."

"That's good to hear." Zack said with a small smile. Maybe they would get to see each other one more time before the end.

"And Cinna was still alive last I saw her. I was fighting alongside one of the masters, Caven, you know him?"

Zack shrugged, he had seen the man but hadn't studied under him at all.

"Just dragged him to the nearest hospital, ShinRa got him bad. I don't know if he'll make it."

"Damn." Zack didn't really regret the loss of the life of a man he hardly knew, but he did regret that there was one less pair of capable hands on their side. "Are you going back up there?"

"Yes, as soon as I catch my breath. Sir." Deren said with a grimace. He was wearing very dented Wutaian metal armour over his chest and back; it had probably saved his life thus far several times.

"I'll come with you." Zack said and tossed his empty waterskin towards the town. "Let's kick some ass before they take us down."

"Kicking and screaming." Deren said with a nod, and they soon ascended onto the top of the barricade.

* * *

This was too easy. Vincent couldn't shake the horrible feeling that this was all way too easy.

There was barely any security around, and this was the god-damned ShinRa Headquarters, the central of the whole Midgar city, the heart of all operations that were ShinRa. There was barely any security, and half of those they did come across fled from the sight of them.

Not the robot guards, of course. They knew no fear. But the humans, they were surprisingly fast in finding locked doors to hide behind when the mob reached their floor. He had expected that the workers –secretaries and such- would obviously fear a stinking, mad mob from down below, but the security as well?

Granted, once he had reached Cid and those with the blond, he had understood a little better.

Cid had tossed away his jacket, and everyone could see the several sticks of dynamite he had tied to his clothes and shoved into his numerous pockets.

And he was _smoking a cigarette_.

Hell, Vincent himself would have ran far and fast had he not been so madly in love with the fool.

The tall, dark man who was screaming even worse profanities than Cid and waving his left arm, which seemed to be a gun –the gothic man had to check and recheck if he'd seen right- instead of a normal arm was, if possible, even more frightening a sight than the short blond pile of dynamite. He seemed to have a small posse following him, shooting and throwing magic around. Vincent was impressed. Few people below the plate had any kind of materia.

He had lost count how many floors they had climbed already, but he was aware that most of them had been filled with offices and conference rooms for the day-to-day running of the ShinRa company. As their informants had told them, all the important stuff was up high, near the top of the building. The President's office was all the way up, practically unreachable. Vincent doubted they'd ever get that far. It was likely that since there was so little security down here that they were all waiting up there, protecting the important people.

The mob had been allowed to advance so easily because all the defenders were waiting for them in the same place.

Vincent wondered if it was too late to turn back and run. But when he glanced over at Cid who was still going on strong, he knew that he couldn't leave even if he really wanted to. He couldn't leave the blond.

Another loud boom of dynamite, and they were heading up again.

* * *

"You say you won't listen, but I don't think you can concentrate enough anymore to drown out my words. You have no choice."

He was right. She was too tired, to scared, too hungry, too cold, too naked even if she was still clothed. Too numb to think of other things. She didn't actively listen, but she heard him. She'd heard him when he had explained that he had released some gasses into her tank, to make her calmer, to break her. She had thought that the President's words would have protected her, but they hadn't. ShinRa only needed her to take him to the Promised Land. He seemed to think that she didn't need to be sane anymore to do that.

"I'm just going to talk to you. I promised the President, after all. I won't touch you until Wutai is his. There's no need, no reason to, after all. I can't start my experiments before that anyway. I need more for them to succeed than just you. So, let us pass the time. It will take a while before Wutai is taken and made safe, after all."

Aeris sat in the middle of the tank, wondering if the world was really moving in slow motion or if that was the drugs.

"I'm going to need you to remember your past, A-2. Aeris. If you refuse to remember, you won't be able to help the President. She thought she was so smart. Bah. Personally I couldn't care less for the Promised Land, but the President does fund my projects, so this is something I have to do.

"Your father, professor Gast and I, we worked together on something called the Jenova-project. Your mother was helping us, even though she was no better than a specimen in my opinion. A very good specimen, useful too, but still just a specimen. The project was to create more Ancients, to stop them from going extinct. An interesting project as they'd make good specimens, and we could use their traits to build something wonderful.

"The project was a success, and Sephiroth was born. From birth it was obvious that he had inherited the best what Jenova and our research had to offer. He was strong, beautiful and smart. He developed faster than a normal child. My son. His mother, sadly, didn't make it, but it mattered little as he was so clearly perfect. You were born about a year later. Another fine specimen you were, a good control to test Sephiroth and his progress. But your parents decided to quit then. As I said, your father was a brilliant man. Too bad he let his emotions get the better of him."

Aeris was shaking her head slowly, refusing to believe a word he said. No matter how soothing his voice seemed, no matter how she wanted to learn what had really happened to her parents. These were all lies. Hojo was a liar. She shouldn't trust any of his words.

"But I had Sephiroth, so I figured that they might as well leave. After you were born they weren't as dedicated to the Jenova project anyway. But when they left, they didn't take only you, A-2. They took him as well. They took MY Sephiroth."

She could hear the rage in his voice, barely kept in check. The sound of his footsteps told her that he was pacing around, even when he was behind her.

"Once I found them, they paid for it. They paid, long and hard. They had hidden Sephiroth from me, and no matter how I tortured them, they wouldn't tell me where he was. Your father even took the secret with him to his grave. Soon after that, your mother managed to escape with you. We caught her, but you were gone. You can imagine I was angry. Both Sephiroth and you gone, your father dead, and your mother practically useless by then."

She remembered being afraid, trying to keep up with someone much bigger than herself. The place they were was strange to her, she had never seen anything like it before. People were watching them but no one said a word as they ran on, sometimes stumbling. She was holding on to a hand larger than her own, a sweaty yet cool hand. She heard sobbing but wasn't sure who it was. And then she was alone. Alone and completely lost, and crying. People just glanced at her as they walked past, ignored her until mother came and took her home.

Aeris shook her head. Hojo couldn't be telling the truth.

"I was busy with the Soldier project back then, so I couldn't afford to go and look for you or him. But the Turks soon found you in the slums. Didn't matter, we couldn't use you yet, me nor the President. The only reason you were allowed to stay there was that we needed you to grow up. The slums were a good place, we could keep an eye on you. It would have been better if the foolish Turks had not let you know that they were looking for you, but good help is so hard to find. Smart help even harder.

"Then… I found him. In Wutai, of all places. Fighting in a war against ShinRa. I managed to dig up more info on him then, and had the war ended differently, he would have been mine. But ShinRa fell in Wutai, and he was still free. Luckily, not for long." Hojo had circled around the glass prison and was now standing in front of Aeris, smirking at her. She would have been more worried if the coloured fishes flying around wouldn't have swam through his head.

"I got him back."

"He died." Aeris said dreamily, barely aware of her own words, let alone his. The way his grin grew wider and wider made her wonder if the top of his head would soon fall off.

* * *

Zack knew that he couldn't keep fighting for much longer. He was tired, he hadn't eaten anything, he was hurt, thirsty and feeling utterly hopeless. And the ShinRa fighters just kept on coming.

It was late in the afternoon already, but he and Deren had managed to keep close tabs on each other. For the first half an hour they had fought almost back to back, then side to side. Now they were within each other's eyesight, unless a particularly big and ugly Soldier happened to come between them. Like the one who had just stepped in front of him.

They had managed to destroy many of the ladders during the long day. A few spellcasters had come over every now and then and had dropped spells which had destroyed them and all the men climbing them completely, but they couldn't hang around, not when they were so poorly armoured.

There had been no sight of Cloud, though. Zack didn't know whether that was a good thing or not. He would have wanted to see his best friend one more time, but if Cloud wasn't dying here with him, maybe he was living somewhere else.

And it was really hard to think of the blond when the big and ugly Soldier kept trying to spear him with his ridiculously large sword. This was getting pretty old. No, actually, this had gotten old hours ago. Now this was just a big pile of stinking, oozing-

Zack giggled a little as he managed to dodge under the swing of the huge sword. That was one good thing about fighting these big guys. He could easily dodge their weapons, all he had to do was fall on his knees onto the ground. They had gotten down from the barricades a while back, when the first soldiers had managed to get over them.

While he was down here, he could as well break the man's knees with his sword. Just like that. The Soldier fell like a tall tree, but with much more noise. Zack didn't give him a chance to try and get up; he jumped up himself, feeling a little light-headed, and speared the man's heart with the Buster. It had drank far more blood on this one day than ever before, Zack guessed, even though the weapon had seen battle before it had been passed on to him.

He kind of wished Aeris was here. She could heal his wounds. He wasn't hurt that badly –yet- but he could have been doing better. His left arm was bleeding even though he had tried to bandage it with some rope. The cut across his lower back, the one that had actually gone under his armour, was stinging from all the sweat that continuously trickled into it. It was more annoying than painful. He'd pretty much lost count of all the cuts and bruises he'd received, and didn't have time to stop and think on them as the next soldier was on him. At least this one's eyes didn't glow; just a normal man.

He caught a sight of Deren taking a few running steps after a soldier who tried to escape. The fighter caught him soon enough and cut him down. Zack felt a small surge of satisfaction before he realized that he was actually glad a man had just died.

This was not what he had been promised. This was not what he wanted to do with his life.

He didn't want to watch people die, and he damn well didn't want to kill them with his own hands. He wanted to bring peace, and no matter how dull or frustrating it was, he wanted to make both sides understand where the other one was coming from.

A wave of desperation washed over him, draining his strength momentarily. The man he was fighting seemed to sense this, and doubled his efforts. Zack blocked him almost half-heartedly, hoping that he'd be half a world away from here, back in Mideel, drinking afternoon tea with Elmyra, hunting monsters with Cloud, talking for countless hours with Aeris.

He barely noticed as the man he was fighting with died. He was about to call out to Deren, to tell him that he needed a break, when a sword was shoved into his back, just beneath the armour he wore. The words came out only as a slight whimper as the sword protruded out of his lower stomach, all bloody and painful. He stared at it, mesmerized, ignoring the shouts around him and the tugging, the pain, the soreness and his disappearing strength.

With his last lingering thought he hoped that Aeris and Cloud would be well.

* * *

Once they reached the top of the stairs, the painted numbers on the wall informed them that they had just reached the 61st floor. Cid swore and ducked back down when bullets flew over his head from the open door that lead to the floor itself.

So far they had managed to climb the stairs and open the locked doors with the help of dynamite and a lot of gunfire. They had come across a few guards who had opened fire on them or waited around a corner or a door for the first of the mob to reach them. Since Cid was pretty much the first –him or the gun-armed man who was apparently called Barret- he was already used to dodging bullets and various other flying weapons and spells. He'd even been hit a few times by now, but the girl hanging with Barret had healed him both times. Unfortunately the healing materia had also cleared the last of the alcohol from his blood, and Cid was painfully aware of where he was and what the hell he was doing. The realization had come as a shock, but after a quick glance over his shoulder at the faces of those following him, he had known he'd have to go on.

They had all followed him. What a scary thought.

And now he had lead them to the enemy's hands.

As mentioned, they had come across gunfire earlier, but nothing quite as nasty as this. Carefully peering over the highest steps Cid could see that there were a lot of men with big guns waiting for them. The door to the floor itself was completely open. There was no need for the guards to hide behind half-closed doors.

"Shit." Cid hissed and pulled back, turning to face his followers. It was starting to get crowded on the stairs, but everyone stayed down and quiet on his command. "What the hell do we do?" he hissed to the closest people, Barret and his friends.

There was some pushing and muttering, and Vincent soon popped up next to his shoulder. Cid's face split into a wide grin as he looked eye to eye at the taller man. Standing a step above him like this, they were about the same height. And he wouldn't have been Cid if he hadn't abused that fact the second he realized it.

Vincent however pulled away from the kiss soon enough, and nudged his head towards the door. "Trouble?"

"And how!" Cid growled. "We can't get past them."

Vincent raised an eyebrow and gave a meaningful glance at the stick of dynamite in the blond's hand.

"I dunno, we're all packed up here so tight. Someone's gonna get hurt."

Vincent just about managed not to roll his eyes. "Right now, someone's gonna get hurt whatever we do."

Cid still hesitated, but Barret made the decision for him and lit the fuse. The blond gagged for a moment before tossing the stick over his shoulder towards the door and ducking.

* * *

The ringing of a phone had taken Hojo away, and Aeris was glad of the break. Her head seemed clearer again once the man was not in her sight, not talking in her head all of the time. She could think straighter again, wonder what he was trying to accomplish with his words.

To drive her insane, obviously. To break her, to make her a mindless puppet for his needs and experiments.

Aeris shook her head sharply and stood up. She wouldn't allow him. He had almost succeeded, but she knew now what he was up to, and wouldn't allow it anymore.

The gasses in the chamber were making her head swim, but Aeris forced her mind to calm down, and walked over to the other side of her prison. The laboratory was still empty of all life but her, Hojo and whatever specimens the madman had in his cages and glass tubes.

She couldn't get out unless someone opened the airtight door from the outside.

Aeris pressed her forehead to the cool surface of the glass and squeezed her eyes shut when they started to burn with tears. What was the use, why should she fight? She couldn't get out, and Hojo could –and would- mess with her mind all he wanted. Even if she would try to keep her head straight, his drugs would take away her resolve, make her his puppet.

She had no hope unless someone would come and let her out, free her. She desperately wanted her mother, locked in a cell somewhere in the huge building. She yearned for Zack, somewhere far away, and most likely with no idea of what had happened to her. She hoped that Cloud would come, but he was away with Zack, as unaware of her fate as the brown-haired man was.

She couldn't stand the thought of never seeing Zack's violet eyes again. They had mesmerized her from the first moment she had seen him in the church, less than a year ago. He hadn't left her side since, not until war by ShinRa reared its ugly head again. She shouldn't have let him go. She should have kept Zack and Cloud by her side, safe and sound. She would have been safe with them. And happy.

Aeris slid back to the floor of the cylinder and fought to keep her tears back. She didn't want to show Hojo her fear, didn't want him to know she'd given up.

She could hear footsteps approaching, and knew that he was back. But they hurried past her, and she soon heard muffled voices. Hojo had done something to the microphones again, and she couldn't hear what was being said. But she knew that there was now someone else here.

She looked up and was surprised to see Tseng talking with Hojo. They both seemed very agitated. The flower girl from the slums stood up and walked over to the side of the tank where the two men were. She still couldn't hear them, but knew that they were talking about her from Tseng's hasty gestures. Hojo seemed to disagree with the Turk, but she could see that he was giving in.

What was going on? She wanted to ask them, but neither heard her.

Hojo shook his head and headed over to what Aeris knew to be the control panel of her prison. Tseng approached the door and pulled a pair of cuffs from his pocket. Aeris frowned but didn't back away when the Turk came to stand in front of her, on the other side of the airtight door. He seemed to be smiling, ever so slightly.

There was an audible hiss as the door popped open and slid silently onto the side. Tseng stepped in immediately, and cuffed her wrists.

"Come on, Aeris. We're leaving."

* * *

Cloud fell exhausted into a heap on the roof he had been standing on for the better part of two hours, and closed his eyes. He sorely needed a break; he was almost out of magic, not to mention determination and will to live.

For every man he managed to stop, three were there to swarm in his place. The lump of ShinRa soldiers behind the front rows had finally reached the place he was guarding, and since they couldn't all climb the barricades or even get near them at once, they were spilling around the edges, trying to get through any other way.

It was like trying to stop a stream of water with tissue. Once it got wet enough, it would break. And Cloud was pretty much soaking by now.

He had to chuckle desperately at the mental image. He had been hanging around Zack for too long.

He had no idea where the fighter was, nor if he was even alive anymore. There was no way he could even find out. How could he find just one man in this sea of people fighting for their lives, and dying trying?

His breath was hitching in his throat again. He didn't know if it was because he was so tired, or because his mind couldn't handle things anymore. For crying out loud, just a few moments ago he had thought he'd seen Sephiroth! One of ShinRa's generals had passed him a few hundred yards away on his chocobo, but from his perch Cloud had been able to see quite a lot of him. The man had been tall –like Sephiroth- and lean –like Sephiroth- and had sat with his weight low in the saddle. Just like Sephiroth. But he knew that it was impossible. His lover was long dead by now, hopefully buried and decayed in the sands of the desert. Hopefully, since it was a better fate than being in ShinRa's hands even after his death.

He had quickly dismissed all thoughts of the silver-haired man and thrown the last of his spells. No matter how hard he had tried to spare them, it had been inevitable that he'd run out. And now it had happened. Now he could pick up his sword and just jump in, hacking and slashing until someone would get that one lucky strike in and put him out of his misery.

Cloud chuckled desperately again. He remembered his promise to Zack. He had promised to stay alive. They'd have to rescue Aeris, after all. They couldn't leave her in ShinRa's hands. Hojo might be dead by his own hands, but there was no way of knowing whether ShinRa had even worse in their ranks.

Screaming nearby made Cloud force his eyes open. The young Wutaian archer, now on the building next to his perch, was trying to fight away a Soldier who was climbing onto the roof. Cloud snarled under his breath and forced his limbs to move again. He didn't have any spells anymore, but he had his sword. It was more than her short knife.

Barely aware of what he was doing, Cloud sprinted and jumped from the roof, reaching the neighbouring building just barely. The Soldier noticed him, but since he was hanging onto the roof with one hand while the other waved a short sword, he couldn't do much. He did do the smart thing, though, and grabbed the roof with both hands and pulled himself up. But Cloud had removed his head from his shoulders before he could pick up his weapon again.

The young archer was almost crying with terror, but unhurt. Cloud muttered a few words which he hoped were comforting, and turned to look at the killing field.

The tide had moved away from them again, and for that he was thankful. The spellcaster collapsed on the roof, causing the archer to welp with shock.

"I'm alright…" he assured the girl and pointed at a soldier who was coming too close for comfort. She swiftly and accurately shot him down.

"Good girl…" Cloud muttered and felt like crying.

* * *

Aeris had followed obediently as Tseng had quickly taken her out of the laboratory and back to the upper floor, to the President's office. He must have decided that he wanted the Promised Land now, and not when it would be safe in Wutai. But something seemed out of place.

The few ShinRa employees they came across were either running scared or huddled in small groups, talking quietly and hurriedly to each other, glancing over at Tseng when they passed, their eyes and words pleading. The Turk just ordered them back into their rooms and hurried on, Hojo at their heels, muttering to himself.

Something was definitely wrong. Once they reached the presidential office, she found out what exactly.

The President and few of his subordinates were standing around the huge desk, staring at a television screen which seemed to be broadcasting security camera footage. They barely turned to acknowledge the three as they entered. Hojo hung back, annoyed. Tseng walked straight to the President, still dragging Aeris by her arm.

"What's the situation, sir?" the Turk asked quietly once they reached the table. The President of all ShinRa just motioned at the screen. Aeris stood on her toes to see something over a sweaty, nervous man's shoulder.

From the looks of it, a mob had invaded the ShinRa Headquarters, and was heading up. Aeris frowned, wondering how they'd even gotten in through the front doors. According to urban legends in the slums, the security at the HQ was phenomenal.

"They've taken down most of the grunts. Where the hell are the rest of the Turks?" asked a blonde woman, dressed all in red and biting her lower lip as she stared at the screen.

"There are only three of them." Tseng said quietly, his dark eyes riveted to the screen as well. "They'll do what they can."

"Obviously that isn't enough! This is inexcusable!" The President roared and slammed his fist to the desk.

"With all respect, sir, the security is lacking since all able men are over in Wutai." Tseng said. His tone added that it was the President's idea to begin with and he had opposed it from the start. He earned a few angry glares for it.

"Where's my helicopter?" the President demanded to know next. Tseng spoke a few quick words into his PHS before answering him.

"It should be here within the next five minutes. I suggest we start heading to the balcony."

"Fine. Bring the girl. You too, Hojo." The blond man snapped his fingers and turned to an open door which lead to a large balcony. Hojo hurried after him, and Tseng started to pull Aeris away as well.

"But s-s-s-sir… what about us?" the man in front of Aeris stuttered. She could practically smell his fear.

The President just waved his hand over his shoulder. "Don't worry, Palmer. You'll all be taken care of."

"Right…" Aeris could hear the woman mutter, and when she dared a look over her shoulder she could see her roll her eyes.

Tseng pulled her out into the cold, surprisingly fresh air and grabbed a protective hold of both her upper arms. She thought she could lean into him if she wanted, but she didn't. She only wanted Zack to hold her like that.

"Where's my mother?" she asked suddenly as she realized that the helicopter they were waiting for would take her away as well.

"She's safe in her cell." Tseng said over the wind that blew around them. "The situation's getting a bit too hot over here. The fights in Wutai are almost over, so we're heading there already."

Aeris blinked at the words for a moment. She thought she could hear the helicopter approaching as she turned to the Turk. "Wutai? We're actually going to Wutai?" at his nod, she pressed on. "The President really thinks the Promised Land is there? And that I can take him there?"

Tseng hesitated for a moment before nodding. He had to be loyal.

"Do _you_ at least realize I can't do that? You never took me to him before because you knew that I had no such powers?" Aeris said so quietly that only the Turk heard. Tseng hesitated for so long that the helicopter appeared in their view and came so near that they would be able to climb in with the rope ladder that was lowered. He didn't answer her, just ushered her towards the ladder after the President and Hojo had climbed in.

Aeris could only obey.

* * *

It had been a long and a bloody fight. Many had died, but among the dead there were more ShinRa guards than slum-dwellers. Vincent wasn't quite sure how they'd managed that, but he wasn't about to question what was clearly a heap of good karma and a few truck-fulls of good luck. They were alive, and that was what really mattered. There weren't that many of them, but they were still alive.

Once the slum dwellers had started to pour out of the stairwell, some of the guards had started to run off. In the beginning the battle had been concentrated in the stairwell and the doorway, but once the doorway had opened a little, thanks to a few sticks of dynamite, the whole floor had become a battleground; guards shooting and waving their swords, the attackers brandishing whichever weapons they had. Some had picked up guns and swords from guards who had fallen or escaped, and the fight had been surprisingly even considering that most of the attackers had little to no experience of anything but bar brawls.

"Do we still head up? There aren't that many of us…" Cid's question brought Vincent out of his thoughts. It was also a clear sign that the blond was completely sober again. He wouldn't have hesitated otherwise.

"Don't go chickenwuss on us now, boy. We got this far, we ain't stopping now!" Barret almost growled. Vincent felt a bit afraid of the large man. Or at least wary of his temper. He'd seen enough to know that this was one man he did not want to piss off.

"Yeah!" People were agreeing and cheering.

"Besides, there ain't that many of us, but there ain't too many of them either. If that was all they got, then all's left is the big guys." Barret reasoned.

"I'll be surprised if any of them can wield anything bigger than a steak knife…" Vincent muttered and that decided it for Cid. The blond nodded and punched his fist into his palm, grimacing at the pain in his blistered hands.

"Fuck it. Let's go people!"

* * *

Once they had realized which way the battle was heading, the Turks had decided on a tactical retreat. The guards would have to take care of themselves. They were Turks, therefore they were far more important to the company than normal thugs. Besides, there were only three of them. They couldn't make much of a difference against the numbers coming out of the stairwell.

"I still feel stupid…" Elena muttered. Reno hissed at her immediately, his ear pressed to the door.

The stairwell was obviously out of their reach, they couldn't have escaped –sorry, retreated- through it. And thanks to the liberal use of dynamite by the attackers, all the elevators were out of order. Thus they were hiding in the cleaning supplies closet.

"We're the Turks for crying out loud!" She just about pouted. Reno finally turned to her.

"Yeah. An' since Tseng and the Prez are gone, we have to keep the place standing."

"Exactly!" Elena shouted, exasperated. Reno shushed her, pulling at his ponytail nervously. "But instead we're hiding in the broom closet!"

"Shut up!" Reno screamed as well. "There are still a few hundred of them outside!"

The two of them fell silent and just glared at each other. Not that they saw each other's glares as it was pitch black in the closet. But they could imagine.

Next to them, against the back wall of the very cramped closet, Rude let out a long, silent sigh as there was a knock on the outside of the closet door.

* * *

ShinRa's troops had deserted the area he and the archers had been in, and while the two headed off towards the main battle, Cloud lowered himself slowly from the roof and headed towards the town with shaky feet. He needed to rest for a while before he could do anything more, spell-wise or with his sword. He thanked the heavens above that the battles last year had been nothing like this. Compared to this, it seemed that ShinRa had been just toying with them before. If that turned out to be true, he wouldn't be too surprised.

A few ShinRa soldiers were already running on the streets, but they were all followed and quickly taken down. Cloud was grateful for that, he couldn't have taken anyone on right now.

He passed a few makeshift hospitals and scanned the blankets on the ground for anything familiar. But he couldn't spot Zack's dark mane or Josin's red ponytail anywhere. None of the others either. That meant that they were still fighting.

Or dead.

Or in another hospital.

Hopeless.

"Strife!"

Cloud turned around as fast as he could, sword in hand even though he had earlier suspected whether he'd have the strength to even pick it up anymore. But it was just master Ranael, limping towards him as fast as he could.

"Strife, are you all right?" the man asked once he reached the spellcaster's side.

"I need a rest." Cloud managed, and the master nodded, understanding.

"Come with me, I'm going to Godo's." The man hurried past him and Cloud followed, not knowing what else to do.

They rushed past a few more hospitals before reaching the path towards the Pagoda of Five Gods. As they approached it Cloud could see that a small group of men had gathered by its door. Once closer, he recognized Godo from the group. The men were all Wutaian, and they were arguing heatedly.

"To surrender is a disgrace! Do you wish to shame your forefathers?" one shouted, red in the face.

"To die is futile! If we surrender, we live on to fight another day." The one he had shouted at defended his view.

Godo was quiet, just following the arguments with his sword in hand. He was the first to notice the two Peacemakers, and motioned for them to come forward when the two stopped a few yards away from respect. The argument died immediately and two of the five men ran off, back towards the front. The man who had wanted to surrender and a man with his bleeding arm in a sling remained with their lord.

"Things are looking grim. We have to surrender if we want to live." Ranael said after bowing quickly. Godo looked pained at his words but eventually nodded.

"There was no hope from the beginning… we all knew that." Cloud muttered, barely realizing that it was his mouth which was uttering the words. Everyone turned to stare at him, their eyes wide. It was the truth, everyone knew it. No one just hadn't said it out loud.

"It doesn't matter to ShinRa what we do. We either die or give in. Either way, they will get the land." Ranael eventually voiced their collective thoughts.

"Why did we even bother to fight? Did we think a miracle of sorts would happen? Somehow we wouldn't all die?" Cloud was asking mostly himself, shaking his head. He couldn't help the words; he was too tired. It was the first time in all his life he had so completely spent everything that was in him.

Godo and Ranael gave him reprimanding glances, but he just shrugged. Their anger would change nothing.

"Wutai does not surrender without a fight." Godo eventually said. His voice was barely audible as he continued. "But now, we surrender. I can't bear to see this destruction befall all of my people." His tone would have been enough, it was even more defeated than his words. "This is where it has come to. We'll be begging mercy from ShinRa." He said the name like it had tasted bad in his mouth, like he couldn't get it out fast enough for the taste not to linger.

"It seems to be our only choice." Ranael muttered, sighing heavily.

Godo nodded to the man with his arm in a sling, and with a short bow the man disappeared into the pagoda. "We'll give out the sign of surrender. Maybe… maybe it will be enough."

Ranael and the Wutaian nodded at the lord's words. Cloud's attention was elsewhere. He thought he had heard a rustle from the nearby bushes, but there was nothing there to be seen. The others noticed that his attention was elsewhere, and reached for their weapons.

It was over before they barely registered what had happened.

ShinRa's general, the one Cloud had spotted earlier, rode out of the surrounding forest on his black chocobo, jumped off while the large bird sped past them, and ran his long sword through Godo's neck. The head of the lord of Wutai fell to the ground and rolled to Ranael's feet. The wound at his neck seemed to be stuck in time for a moment before it turned into a geyser of blood, and the lifeless body collapsed to the ground.

Cloud had pulled out his sword the instant the man had appeared to the small clearing, but he hadn't had time to do anything else before it was already too late. And even if he would have had time to do something, he couldn't have moved once he saw the sword.

It looked like a perfect replica of Sephiroth's Masamune blade. The length, the almost glowing metal, the sharpness which he could almost _hear_. It was so much like the original it had to be its sister weapon. That, or the actual Masamune his silver-haired lover had carried so easily, even when the blade had been taller than he was himself. It had dwarfed Cloud. He would never forget it, or how easily it swung in Sephiroth's hands. This general seemed to possess that same ease with the nigh impossible weapon.

Could there really be two men so alike? In appearance, skills and their choice of weapons?

Cloud was too mesmerized to do anything as the other Wutaian fell victim to the hungry blade. A horn sounded just as it was about to cut Ranael in two, the master all too slow to raise his own weapon to block.

The horn seemed to stop the world. The long sword certainly stopped in mid-air, and Ranael stumbled back, falling down as his injured leg gave away.

Cloud still stared.

The general turned his helmeted head to the top of the pagoda, where the horn was still sounding its mournful note. The tall man shrugged and wiped the blade clean on the back of lord Godo's ceremonial armoured robe.

"You do have some sense after all." The general spoke, his helmet twisting his low voice. Cloud swallowed, feeling like he would choke at any minute now. He could only watch as a gloved hand rose to the helmet which shone in the sunlight. As it lifted away, following the hand, his knees went weak when he saw the thin-lipped mouth.

The nose was just as he remembered it.

Those eyes. How could anyone forget those.

The pale brows, furrowed together.

And last but definitely not least, never the least, all that silvery, silvery hair, sweaty and clinging but still so achingly brilliant, cascading down broad shoulders, twining around strong arms, framing the handsome chest and that almost overwordly face.

Cloud stared, feeling weak and light and happy and sad and there were tears and his chest hurt and his sword fell and his knees gave out and he was whimpering and crying but none of it mattered, not really.

Sephiroth smiled down at him.

"Hello, love. Miss me?"

.

* * *

**A.N.:** I've been waiting since the beginning for the day when I get to write _**that**_ bit. –laughs maniacally- Sorry for all the times I said Sephy was dead. A few of you figured it out anyway. Every time that happened I just wanted to scream NO! He's dead! XD

I am like Cid myself. I swear a lot, and love tea. Blooming tea is real. Just Google it!

See you next time!


	17. Chapter 13: Despairing

Thank you so much for all the comments! You guys rock! Seriously. Each and every comment makes me want to write, write and write some more.

I probably don't have to tell you, if you've read so far, but this chapter will be nasty. Especially the last scene, so you might want to consider skipping that one. It's fitting that I'm drinking lemon-and-lime –juice while writing it…

Oh, who am I kidding. Half of you are probably reading this just for the last scene… XD

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* * *

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**Chapter Thirteen**

**Despairing**

**.  
**

When he started to become aware of himself and the world around him again, the first thing that existed was the pain. It burned all the way through from his stomach to his back, tight and flashing every time he moved even a fracture of an inch, every time he breathed.

It really, really hurt.

But he had been hurt before, and recognized that even though he was in considerable pain, there was no bleeding anymore. Someone had healed him. And as he became more aware he realized that he was lying down on something more comfortable than mere ground. Not much more comfortable, though.

His throat was parched, his head hurt, his arms and legs felt like they were made of lead, heavy and stiff. Not that he would have wanted to move them anytime soon; if just breathing hurt like this, he figured that it would take a bit longer before he'd even consider doing anything more ambitious than that.

But hey, at least he was alive. He barely believed in an afterlife, but he figured that it wouldn't be this painful.

With some effort he managed to crack open his right eye a small fracture, ready to close it immediately if bright daylight assaulted his senses. But it was almost pitch black around him, so he dared to open both eyes. Slowly and carefully.

"You're up. Well, awake at least." The statement seemed to be more to make him aware that there was someone beside him rather than to point out the obvious. Zack blinked and tried to lick his lips with a tongue that felt like sandpaper.

"Thirsty? Hold on…" shuffling and movement on his right side, but it was too dark to see, and whoever was muttering so quietly was too far from his very limited field of vision anyway. Zack just breathed a very careful sigh of relief as a straw was poked between his dry lips, and with some additional pain he could slowly take in a few mouthfuls of warm and stale water. The straw was retrieved with a small chuckle as he poked it out of his mouth with the tip of his tongue, and squinted to try and see who was with him. The voice sounded vaguely familiar, even when it was distorted by how quietly it had spoken.

Speaking of which… there was supposed to be a war going on. Why was it so quiet? For a moment he pondered on lifting his head a bit, but it clearly seemed like a bad idea. So he did the next best thing, and opened his mouth.

"What happened?" his voice was barely above a raspy whisper, but since it was so quiet around him, whoever it was heard him clearly.

"We surrendered. ShinRa won."

"What?" Zack yelped and his eyes shot wide open.

"Shh. You're not the only one in this hospital. Let the others sleep." The voice murmured, but it was gentle despite the words.

"Hospi… how did I end up here?" the last thing he could remember was the pain, and worrying about Aeris and Cloud.

There was a long-suffering sigh beside him which obviously came with the roll of a pair of eyes and the thought 'How do people usually end up in hospitals?', but the voice answered him nevertheless. "Deren dragged you in just before the horn sounded. The healers patched you up, but couldn't heal you all the way."

"Horn?"

"The sign of surrendering."

"…Oh. What… uh, can you elaborate a little here?"

Another soft chuckle, and Cinna finally leaned into his line of sight, peering down at him with her head and left arm covered in bandages. There was dried blood all over her face and clothes. She had obviously removed her armour. She peered down at him for a moment before nodding. "Sure.

"The fight was going bad, I guess I don't need to tell you that. I ended up on the eastern side, and we had a really bad breach over there. A lot of people died before we managed to throw ShinRa back outside again. We couldn't have lasted long in any case. Surrendering was the only option.

"Anyway, I ended up here soon after that, and was just about to head back out to see if I can do anything when Deren came in, covered with blood, and dragging you with him. You were bleeding pretty bad, so the healers –three of them!- started to work on you immediately. Deren and I hung back to see whether you'd make it. And then the horn sounded."

She leaned over him, probably to see whether he was still awake. Zack was tired, he knew he needed rest, but how could he sleep now without knowing what had happened? He nodded slightly and she continued.

"The fighting stopped pretty much immediately, and half of our side collapsed with weariness. ShinRa's side cheered. One of the Wutaians told us that the horn had been blown at the Pagoda of Five Gods. So after the healers said you'd pretty much make it, Deren headed off there to see what was going on. I stayed here and helped out when the wounded started to come in again."

She stopped again, and Zack could hear her squirming.

"And then what?" he asked quietly, urging her on when the silence seemed to stretch. She let out a long sigh and finally continued.

"It was pretty busy here with all the wounded, but the rumours started immediately. I didn't pay them much mind at first, but they got to be pretty hard to ignore. Still, I waited until Deren came back, and he confirmed them. Godo's dead."

Zack felt a stab of sorrow at the news, but could sense that it wasn't all that there was to hear. Cinna, however, had closed up like a clam, and he got the feeling she was debating with herself whether to tell him the rest.

"Spit it out." He said eventually.

"I really think that I shouldn't."

"I want to know."

"I know. I still really think I shouldn't. Get some sleep, there's time for this in the morning."

Now he was starting to panic. "Where's Cloud?"

She stopped breathing for a moment. It was enough for him. Zack whipped his head around to face her –oww the pain the pain!- and squared his jaw.

"Cinna. Tell me. Now."

"Fine. Godo was killed by one of the ShinRa generals just as the horn sounded. The man cut his head clean off. Master Ranael was there, he saw the whole thing, and told Deren. They couldn't stop him, the man was just too fast.

"Cloud was there as well. He…" she started to fidget with her hands, and focused her whole attention on them. "I never knew him, you know. Not really. I mean, we fought side by side a few times, but that was it. Deren, however, knew him. I think they were friends. Deren didn't see him but Ranael did, and he swore on his mother's grave."

Zack was a bit at a loss, not following her words once she started to ramble on about someone. Still, he knew that something big was coming. And quite possibly, something bad.

Something very very bad.

He hadn't known Cinna for long and was sure that he didn't know her well, but he had never before seen her struggle with words like this.

"He's back, and he's on ShinRa's side. Sephiroth's back. He killed Godo, and took Cloud. That's all I know."

It took Zack a while to process through what she had just said. The pieces fell together slowly but surely. His subsequent incredulous cry of 'What?' woke half of the hospital, scared a flock of nearby birds into the air, and made him weep tears of pain.

* * *

"Three little Turks, tied in a knot.

"Will they escape?

"I!

"Think!

"NOT!"

Cid was chanting as he walked around the three tied-up Turks, administering each a hard kick with the last three words. Reno swore at him and tried to bite as he passed by, but a wave of Barret's gun-arm made him behave. The two of them and Vincent were minding the Turks while the others searched the rest of the rooms and rested a little before continuing upwards. All ShinRa personnel they came across were gathered into the large lobby. Well, the few of them who hadn't managed to escape before the attackers had reached the floor.

"Where are you keepin' Aeris and her mum? And what did you assholes do to my cousin?" Cid demanded next from the Turks, waving his spear threateningly. He was cut, bruised and almost out of dynamite, but at least his hair had stopped smoking from when it had caught fire a little. Still, he was quite a threatening sight.

"Aeris is loooong gone by now." Reno said with a smirk, despite his bleeding lower lip. "You boys are too late."

Cid punched him in the face and demanded more information, but all three refused to speak a word more. The blond looked over his shoulder at Vincent and Barret, frustrated and annoyed.

Vincent shrugged, stepped forward and lifted his gun to Elena's forehead, figuring that she'd be the easiest to break. "Talk, or die." He muttered, staring straight into her defiant eyes. But one didn't get to become a Turk by being easy to break. He should have realized that, and that a woman would have to be twice as tough as a man in this kind of an occupation, just to be taken seriously.

Elena didn't say a word.

"Good girl." Reno chuckled, watching the hesitating gunman. "Give up, kid. You don't have the guts."

Vincent turned to him, eyes and gun both, and raised an eyebrow. He answered the grinning Turk with a bullet to each of his knees. Reno screamed with pain until he got himself under control.

"He… he shot out my goddamn kneecaps!" the redhead yelped, trying to pull his arms free from where they were tightly roped to his fellow Turks.

"Harsh." Rude said, but not a muscle on his stoic face moved.

"Who's next?" Vincent said quietly, lifting his gun so that the muzzle pointed at the ceiling.

"…" Cid was staring at his boyfriend, his mouth hanging open. He swallowed loudly before managing to speak. "I love you so fucking much right now."

* * *

The healers had eventually put a Sleep-spell on him to make sure he wouldn't try to get up again, and to make him shut the hell up. He had been ranting and screaming like a bit of an idiot, but they had to admit, he had good cause.

His best friend –his DEAD best friend, emphasis very much so on the word _dead_- had reportedly returned, joined the enemy side, killed the lord of Wutai and ran off with his other best friend, who was the very dead friend's lover. So he had a right to run off with him, Zack supposed in his slightly delirious state. But fevered visuals of a zombie-Sephiroth trying to make out with Cloud didn't exactly calm him down, even if they made him giggle nigh hysterically.

Hopefully his tongue wouldn't fall out in the middle of it. Or worse yet-

Okay, okay. So he was a little bit more than slightly delirious. Blood loss and reopening wounds tended to do that to a man. The latter was all his own fault, though. He had felt the tentative binds that kept his insides together tear as he had shot up from the blanket so quickly. The healers had been there immediately, and had practically sat on him while they healed him. Again. He had been barely conscious at that point, and more than a little panicked and hysterical, but it had amused a small part of his mind when he'd heard the scolding sermon one of the healers had given Cinna on what NOT to tell someone who had just regained consciousness. She had been very miffed and screamed something about not being his babysitter, him being an adult and the healer's mother's relations with bandersnatches before she had stormed off.

Zack kind of missed her. Now he was all alone in the midst of moaning wounded again. He wasn't exactly conscious at the moment, but he could hear them well enough. Those who were in a good enough shape were talking quietly, whispering the same rumours Cinna had told him last night. Wondering what would happen now. Speculating what ShinRa wanted with them.

"The Soldiers are everywhere."

"They are just watching us."

"At least the children are safe."

"I can't believe lord Godo is gone."

"Did you hear who killed him?"

"What is going on?"

"I'm scared. Truly scared."

Zack let out a long sigh which burned his lower stomach like a white-hot iron. He made a mental note not to do it again. He wished the healers would Cure him just once more, so he could be conscious and not so feverish and weak. But he understood why they wouldn't. They knew as well as he did himself, that as soon as he could, he would get up and go after Sephiroth.

He was delirious but he still knew that was an outright suicide. Sephiroth was ShinRa's general now. That meant that he –and Cloud- were most likely deep within ShinRa territory, far from his reach. There was no way he could make it to them alive. It would be very foolish of him to even try. But he still would. He wanted to see them.

Wanted not to feel so horribly left out. Left behind. Useless. Forgotten.

* * *

They had made a few stops along the way for more fuel and other provisions, but mostly they had spent the last Summons knew how many hours flying towards Wutai. Aeris had lost count, and since she'd fallen asleep several times by now, only to be awaken a little later, she couldn't have kept up with the time anyway.

The small helicopter was quite crowded; Tseng was sitting in the front with the pilot, and on the small backseat Aeris was stuck between Hojo and the President. She was doing her best not to touch either one, but in the cramped space it was easier said than done.

Hojo had taken along some of his notes, and had busied himself with them, muttering quietly while he read through them. Tseng kept his eyes trained to the horizon which was frequently changing in front of them as the world passed beneath. The President was also muttering to himself from time to time, when he wasn't talking on the radio with someone or trying to coax Aeris into a conversation. She kept her silence, however, and dreaded their arrival in Wutai.

A desperate thought had crossed her mind sometime earlier, and she was clinging to it even when she didn't dare to wish for it to be true. She knew that ShinRa's army was in Wutai, trying to claim the land.

She also knew that the Peacemakers, of which both Zack and Cloud were a part of, had joined the earlier fights there. Maybe, just maybe, the two of them would be there now as well.

It was a small hope, but it was all she had. Even if the President was pompous and self-satisfied and Hojo distracted enough so that she could escape from them, probably even easily, there was still Tseng. The Turk wouldn't let her go, not when the President had his claws on her.

"Incompetents." The President snorted suddenly, after listening to something on the radio in his head set. "The mob has reached the 67th floor and have released all the prisoners! Where are your Turks, Tseng?" he reached out to bat at the back of the head of Turks' head. Aeris was sure that if he'd been anyone but the President, he'd have died. Or at least been impaled on something long and sharp.

"I haven't been able to reach them in a while. I suspect that the mob has caught them as well."

"Wait." Aeris suddenly spoke up as she realized something. "My mother! Was she there?"

Tseng looked quickly over his shoulder at her and nodded. "Yes. They freed her as well."

Aeris closed her eyed and let out a long sigh of relief. At least she was free.

"You stupid Turk." Hojo hissed. "You just lost your leverage on her, and you let her know? Hmph."

The President glared at Tseng as well. The Turk just shrugged and turned to stare at the horizon again.

"At this rate, the whole HQ will be lost…" the President thought aloud, but didn't seem too concerned. "Besides that, everything is going so well. Just as planned." He smirked and turned to look at Aeris. "I have you to take me to the Promised Land, and once that is under my control, the whole world will bow down to me."

"But I can't take you to the Promised Land!" Aeris shouted, desperate. "It's not a place you can just walk into. It's… it's more like an afterlife. You join it, in the Lifestream, once you've died…" her words fell quiet as the grin on the President's face only grew bigger.

Hojo snorted. "That's what you think…"

She looked from one smirking man to the other, but neither was talking now that she needed them to speak.

* * *

It was mid-morning when he was starting to feel like a coherent human being again. The healers had given in and healed him a little, just so that he wouldn't hurt so much. It had cleared his head considerably, which unfortunately had done nothing to lift his mood.

Now that he was aware of everything going around him he was also feeling very frustrated. He couldn't get up, and even if he could, he wouldn't be able to do anything. With his head propped on a rolled up blanket he could see more than the tarp ceiling above him. This included the ShinRa soldiers standing in a line all around the hospital tent. From what the other patients were whispering, the soldiers were now organized into neat lines all over the streets of Wutai and around it, making sure that no one tried anything. Only the healers and their helpers were allowed to move around, from hospital to another, and even they were watched closely and searched both when they left one tent and when they entered another.

They were completely surrounded.

And there was no one to talk to. The healers had apparently forbidden the other patients from talking to him, and most didn't even want to, seeing how he had woken them last night with his screaming and ranting. No one wanted to make him scream again.

He missed Aeris and Cloud so terribly. And he needed to see Sephiroth again, to see whether this was really his old friend or some clone ShinRa had cooked up. It made little sense to him. People just didn't come back from the dead like that.

Unless he had never really died. But Cloud had always been adamant about that one fact. It had been the only thing he had remembered in the beginning.

Sephiroth, dead in his arms. Dead as in not breathing. Cold. Gone to meet his maker. Unable to walk, talk or kill people. Not to mention leading an army.

Zack needed to get up, and he needed to find them.

Noon was approaching when a few Wutaians entered the tent with something that smelled very good. Zack perked up immediately, and realized that he was starving. He hadn't had a bite to eat since yesterday morning. Or maybe it had been longer, he wasn't quite sure how long he had been unconscious and delirious.

Under the watchful eyes of the soldiers the Wutaians brought each patient a small bowl of soup. It was barely more than water that smelled like chicken and had a few pieces of vegetables swimming in it, but Zack wasn't about to complain. He was so eager to eat that his eyes were nailed to the small bowl in the hands of the woman who was offering it to him, still just out of his very limited reach.

For some reason, she didn't lean in closer. Zack frowned and finally looked up to her face.

The very shocked, teary and pale face of Sephiroth's mother. All thoughts of soup fled from his mind, and his tired arms fell back to his sides. Even his stomach quieted.

They stared at each other for a very long moment while the other Wutaians moved on, speaking quietly with the patients as they passed the food around. But Zack and lady Meriko just stared at each other. Finally she lowered her eyes, sobbed and knelt beside him, offering the small bowl.

"Are you able to eat by yourself, Zack?" she asked quietly.

"Is he really back?" Zack asked back, not caring about the soup anymore.

She nearly broke down before nodding slowly. "Yes. I… I saw him with my own eyes."

She needed a little more prodding before she started to speak. "I heard the rumour as soon as it spread, as soon as the horn sounded. I left everything and headed out to… out to the Pagoda. He was still there, just about to leave. On his chocobo. Cloud was with him, but he was… I don't think he was aware of what was going on anymore. I… I screamed when I saw him, cried and fell to my knees. I couldn't take it. He was back. My only child. But he… he wasn't mine anymore. He saw me, and he, he looked right through me. Like he hadn't recognized me at all. Like I was less to nothing to him. He took Cloud and rode off, not giving me another look. Once… once I got back here…

"They're all staring at me, whispering behind my back. They all think that he's still my child. Godo only knew. Him and the family. No one else. They still think he's mine. And they seem to think it's my fault. My fault that Godo's dead, since he's my son." She stopped to wipe the tears from her eyes. Zack noticed that the patients around them had fallen quiet and were listening as well, not just concentrating on their soups.

He let them be, though, since her words disturbed him more than their questioning eyes.

"Lady Meriko, I don't understand… what do you mean he's not yours anymore? What did Godo know?"

He could figure out the first part on his own. ShinRa had to have brainwashed Sephiroth badly to make him switch sides like that. He probably wasn't the same person anymore. But what did Godo have to do with it?

"He was such a beautiful child. I couldn't say no when they asked me. My husband, my little baby daughter, they had both died and left me alone. Godo and our parents, mine and my husband's, thought that it would help me to take care of him. And he was about the same age she would have been. I couldn't say no, and they were right. For a while it felt like I had betrayed them, but when Sephiroth called me mother for the first time I knew I'd made the right decision. He was all alone, they said. He couldn't go back. He needed to hide, to be safe, and far from Midgar.

"We dyed his hair black for the first few years, but he started to develop a bad rash from the dyes so eventually we just let it grow out in its natural colour. It was easily explained when he was old enough to question it. His dead father had been a foreigner. I'd burned all the photos of my real husband, more Wutaian than I am. Sephiroth never knew. He never brought it up around anyone who wasn't related to him, all those who knew the truth and knew to lie to him. It was to keep him safe. I knew my husband would have approved. We lived far enough from the town that I could pass him as my own child. I know that some wondered how my dead daughter had turned to a very much alive little boy, but no one ever said anything to my face. They must have figured that they'd heard wrong.

"I was more worried the older he grew. He started to ask more and more about his father, so we kept on lying. Finally he decided to leave, to go and see for himself if he could find any of his relatives in the north, where we said his father was from. If we only hadn't lied, or had told him something else, he wouldn't have gone there. He wouldn't have joined the Peacemakers. But he was happy, even when there was no lead on his father's family. Of course he couldn't find any. They were just a lie. My husband's family live right here. His 'great aunt' is really my husband's mother. She doted on him, no matter that he wasn't really her son's child. He was so beautiful, kind and loving. And very much loved.

"I hated the fact that we lied to him, even if it was to keep him safe. I couldn't even have told him the truth, I knew so little. I had never seen the people who brought him to Wutai, asking Godo to hide him from ShinRa's eyes. I never knew why they needed to hide him. And I never asked, never wanted to question it, in the fear that they would take him away from me. They never came back, and we were happy. Until the war started again and he got involved. I feared each day that he would die. I was so happy when the war ended and he was still alive. And in love. Cloud is such a sweet boy, I was delighted that they found each other.

"And then, just like that, they both disappeared. During those months I feared that they had found him. I actually hoped that he had died and not ended up in the hands of those who he had been hidden from. I hoped for my own son's death. I felt so wicked for it, but I knew that it was a better thing than to be taken away. I couldn't bear the thought that he was gone, but it was… it would have been better than this."

The lukewarm soup was cold by the time her quiet and slow words were over. Zack had completely forgotten the bowl that sat in her lap. It had caught most of her tears as they fell from her cheeks.

The hospital around them was quiet as a grave. Zack swallowed hard and ignored the pain as he forced himself up to a sitting position and hugged her gently. It was all he could do, his head wasn't providing him with any other ideas at the moment. He could only hold her as she cried, the bowl of soup rolling to the ground from between them, spilling its contents to the hard-packed ground.

* * *

They couldn't reach Aeris anymore, that much was sure, but they could get her mother out. So while a few slum dwellers kept an eye on Reno, whose wounds they had graciously cleaned and bandaged, and Rude, who was tied to the unlucky redhead, Elena lead Cid, Vincent, Barret and a small number of others to the detention center.

Elmyra wasn't the only familiar face locked up there, and like good rebels, they ordered Elena to free the other prisoners as well. She grudgingly did so, releasing people who had been unfortunate enough to cross ShinRa's path and gotten caught.

The middle-aged woman recognized Cid immediately and hurried over to him as soon as she got out.

"Where's Aeris?" she demanded to know, worry and fear clear on her face.

"Goin' to Wutai with the Prez." Cid said, and asked the question that had been burning his own mind. "They're not likely to hurt her. But where's Cloud? And the big guy?"

"Zack and Cloud left Mideel just a few days ago. ShinRa was attacking Fort Condor and they went to help out." She explained, wringing her hands together.

"Shit. Well, at least we know now that the Turks didn't get them." The blond shrugged and lifted a hand to Elmyra's shoulder to guide her away now that the other prisoners were free as well. "ShinRa's pretty much fucked here. Oh, sorry. Yeah, but it's still not a good idea to hang around here. We're getting you out as soon as we can."

When they reached the stairwell, a few of the slum dwellers with them started to guide the freed prisoners back down. Cid, Vincent, Barret, a few others and Elena, however, headed up.

They had decided that if they'd come this far, they might as well go all the way to the top.

* * *

It was night before they finally stopped, far inside the ShinRa lines. He could feel their eyes on him, hear the whispering voices as he was recognized for what he was. The enemy. But no one dared to object or even face him, not when HE was sitting behind him on the back of the chocobo, a possessive arm around his waist while the other held the reins of the large, quiet bird.

The ride had been a long one. Or maybe short. Cloud couldn't tell. He could, however, tell that it had taken them seven thousand eight hundred and sixty-two of Sephiroth's heartbeats to reach the back of the enemy lines. It beat so strongly against his back, clearly not dead, not stilled by a knife that took all the blood away.

For a long while he had been sure, absolutely positive, that the grief had finally gotten to him and he had lost his mind. He still wasn't sure that this was real, truth to be told. It was too horrible and too wonderful to be true, wasn't it? He had missed Sephiroth so badly, had wanted nothing but to be held by those strong arms again, to sleep next to him, to hear that voice, the beating of his heart.

To be loved again.

He knew that both Zack and Aeris loved him. He loved them as well. But it wasn't the same. Nothing was the same as Sephiroth, and what they had shared.

And now, he was given another chance.

It was horrible and wonderful, scary and a bliss.

Would Sephiroth forgive him for abandoning him in Hojo's hands? For trying to kill him? For failing in killing Hojo? He hadn't dared to ask. Hadn't dared to say anything after they'd left the Pagoda. Godo's headless corpse on the ground. Master Ranael staring at them in shock. The echo of the horn still in his ears.

Sephiroth hadn't said a word either, and that was mostly why Cloud had kept quiet. Maybe this was all just a dream, a hallucination brought on by the exhaustion of his magic and energy. If it was so, he didn't want to break the spell by talking. If he was lucky, it would last a long time. If not, he wouldn't at least hurry the return to reality which was dark, bleak and so empty of what was now all around him.

They rode silently through the camp, the sea of men parting in front of them, their whispering sounding like waves languidly hitting the shore. Cloud didn't even glance at them. His eyes were fixed straight ahead, even if he didn't really see anything. All his attention –well, what of it wasn't wandering around and pondering whether this was real- was on the sensation of his lover. _His_ arm around him. _His_ chest pressed to his back. _His_ arm near his side, holding the reins. _His_ breath stirring the hairs on his neck. The way they were breathing; when one breathed in, the other breathed out, and vice versa.

Cloud wasn't sure where one ended and the other started anymore.

He didn't really care, either.

Eventually they reached what was obviously Sephiroth's private tent. Cloud recognized the insignia on it. General of ShinRa army. Sephiroth had quite a military career there. Last year he'd been a general for the opposing side, now he was one for ShinRa. Not many could boast with such. No one besides him.

A small nudge of the reins, and the chocobo stopped and knelt slightly to make it easier for its riders to dismount. Sephiroth slid off effortlessly, and when Cloud made no attempt to move, the taller man reached out a strong hand and wrapped it around Cloud's forearm. His hold was tight and demanding, but not painful, and Cloud obeyed as he was pulled off the mount and towards the tent.

The soldiers stared as they entered, and Cloud could swear that once the door flap fell shut, their whispering voices doubled in volume.

He stood still, waiting, while Sephiroth turned on a few lanterns to bring soft, yellow light into the tent. The place looked like what he had been expecting; just a cot, a table and few chairs, maps and papers everywhere. He watched on while the taller man shrugged off his bits and pieces of armour, piling them on a sturdy wooden crate which Cloud hadn't noticed before. When he was done, he motioned for one of the two chairs next to the table. Cloud obeyed, and sat down. Sephiroth himself sat on the other one, and trained his green eyes on him.

Glowing green eyes.

Cloud knew that it was Mako, a part of the Soldier procedures that gave people that very distinctive glow in their eyes. He didn't know what this meant for the two of them, though, and that made him lower his eyes to the wooden table. The maps on it bore several notes in Sephiroth's familiar, almost undecipherable handwriting. Upside down as they were for him, he had no hope of figuring out what ShinRa's plans were.

"You've cut your hair."

Cloud blinked, surprised, before lifting his head up to look at Sephiroth, who was staring at him, no emotion showing on his face.

…that was pretty much the last thing he had expected to hear.

"Uh, yeah." Cloud stuttered, confused into talking. "I… cut it in your memory."

Sephiroth snorted. "I am so touched. You stab me, leave me bleeding, and then, you _cut your hair_ to remember me. There-"

Cloud's frantic words interrupted him. "No! No I didn't, I didn't want to, I mean, I thought you were dead."

"So it was better to kill me than have me alive?"

"NO!" Cloud nearly had tears in his eyes, and he wanted to reach over the table and take a hold of Sephiroth's hands, but a stern look prevented him from moving. "I… I thought I had lost you to him. You didn't talk to me anymore and…" he fell silent, staring at his hands as tears burned in his eyes. "It hurt. It hurt so much that I think it was because of that that I forgot so much."

"Forgot? So you not only leave me after thinking I am dead, but you also forgot about it?" Sephiroth's voice was very, very calm. Cloud had never heard him talking in such a way, not in the war, not when he had been angry at something, not even to Hojo. It scared him. It wasn't the voice of a calm man, it was the voice of a man so angry he could be nothing else but deathly calm.

He looked up as Sephiroth stood. Cloud couldn't move as the taller man, hands in fists, pressed his knuckles to the top of the table and leaned over it, locking their eyes. Their glow almost hypnotized him.

"I never forgot you." Sephiroth said quietly, demanding nothing less than all of Cloud's attention as he spoke. He wouldn't allow the smaller man to look away. "How could I? I thought that you loved me, as much as I loved you. All that time after you ABANDONED me, I still thought of you. I remembered everything. The first time we met. The first kiss. How you kissed me back, and that first night after it."

Cloud felt tears run down his face as Sephiroth's words kindled images in his mind. He could remember those things, some more clearly than others. The stars above them that night when Sephiroth had suddenly leaned over him and kissed him, straight on the mouth. He hadn't known what to think or do for the longest time, he had spent most of the following night awake, thinking and wondering, gathering his courage after he'd realized his own feelings. He had been so scared the following morning; not of the battle, for once, but for what he knew he'd have to do. He hadn't seen any other way around it: he had to kiss Sephiroth back. To see whether he was feeling what he thought he was feeling. He could be dead by noon, he'd have to do it now.

Sephiroth was still talking, mentioning things like the time near the end of the war when ShinRa's suicide bomber had gotten inside their barracks. Cloud remembered the pain vividly, still carried the scars on his right arm. Some of them had paled to white, some were still a dark shade of red. Just like the scars Hojo had branded him with.

"I didn't want to believe him at first, but it all made sense. The more I thought about it, the more we talked, I realized that he was telling me the truth. Perhaps the only one ever to tell me the truth. I mean, you once said you'd love me for ever. Shiva's icy ass, Cloud Strife, you even promised me to be gentle when you'd kill me. See? I remember it all. Those long days after you left, all I could do was remember. You tore me up so well I couldn't move for weeks. Once I could, I didn't want to. You broke my heart, Cloud. That Wutaian witch, I can understand her lies when it was her and the others who worked to keep me away from the truth. But you…" Sephiroth paused and for a moment his eyes softened in pain. But it was a brief moment, quickly swallowed by the next wave on anger. "I thought I could trust you. That you'd be there for me, even when I felt so lost.

"But no. Even YOU walked out on me. Lied to me. Hojo told me it would be like that, but I told him no. I told him you'd be different. To his credit, he didn't rub it in once you did just as he said you would. Once you left me with nothing but memories on how it had been."

Cloud's brain caught the words that meant that Hojo had survived, and alerted him that he should be worried because of this, he should fear for Aeris, he should do something to make sure she'd be all right. But it was only a small part of him that registered it as the rest of him was so focused on the words coming out of his lover's mouth. They drove through him like icicles, making him shiver with cold, stiffen with pain, cry with despair. All he wanted was to deny every word, confess his undying love, tell Sephiroth how much he had hurt as well, how much he had missed the only man he had ever felt truly safe with. But no words came to him. Not that Sephiroth would have allowed for them, either.

"They made me so angry, the memories, you know? All those promises of how it would be, all those nights together, all that hope and joy and love. _Love_, Cloud. Do you even know the _meaning_ of the word? Can you comprehend how much I hated you those long days after you left me like a discarded doll, something you'd grown tired of playing with?" Sephiroth leaned even closer across the table, his eyes wide and so full of rage they burned. "I wanted to KILL you most days, it hurt that much. I wanted you to hurt as much as I did. So I let the rage burn in me, hone me into what I am now. I am the perfect weapon, Cloud. I no longer feel anything. And it's all thanks to you. Love." The word which once had been an affectionate name Sephiroth had used for only him was now like a lash of a whip across Cloud's face. He wanted to explain himself, but in front of Sephiroth, naked and torn under those green eyes, all his words died before they reached his lips, nothing more than useless excuses that would change nothing.

He had abandoned Sephiroth when the man had needed him the most. He had thought that his greatest sin had been to kill the man he had loved, but even that would have paled into nothingness when compared to this. Cloud had left Sephiroth at the mercy of Hojo when there still would have been hope to bring him back. He had given up on his love.

Sephiroth pulled back from the smaller man who was now crying uncontrollably, rocking himself on the squeaky chair, hiding his face in shame. An expression of disgust flashed on his face before he shook his head, the lines disappearing with the movement. Cloud saw none of it.

"I wanted… revenge on you for so long. But now that you're here, I don't think you're worth it. You're not worth my time…"

"Sephiroth… no!" Cloud managed between sobs and forced himself to look up, to reach out with a shaking hand. "I n-never, _ever_ stopped loving you. I… I'm so sorry… please! Don't… don't leave me again…"

He had caught Sephiroth's arm as the taller man headed towards the door. Sephiroth stopped and looked down at him, his face once again expressionless.

"There's nothing you can say, Cloud, so don't waste your breath." ShinRa's general said quietly and easily pulled his arm free. Cloud tried to catch it again but couldn't reach. "You were a mistake. We all make mistakes. Hojo was kind to me, and didn't think less of me because of it, even when I scolded myself for it. For being fool enough to trust you, to think that such a thing as love could exist between us. He was very patient with me once you left, he helped me heal and become stronger. To become what I was meant to be had those fools not meddled in our affairs. They feared Hojo, thought that he was crossing some line in creating me. They feared him and they took me away from him. From my own _father_, Cloud. The only real relative I've ever had. But he took me back willingly, helped me become what I had been meant to be."

"No… Sephiroth, Wutai was always your home…" Cloud whispered, trying to hang on to the small threads of sanity he could still claim, grasping at truths he had based his beliefs on. "This is where you grew up… please, come back. Don't…"

"Don't what, Cloud? Don't hurt the Wutaians? Don't attack them? Don't betray those who have lied to me all my life? I find myself repeating my own words, and I don't like it. Save your breath. Nothing you say will make a difference. Wutai will fall. They should be grateful for last year, one last chance ShinRa gave them to be at peace and think they'd make it after all."

Sephiroth turned back to him, a slight, ugly smile on his face as he stepped closer and leaned over the sitting blond. He studied the younger one's face for a moment before continuing, his green eyes noticing every detail.

"They could have been crushed last year, you know. There were so few Wutaians left. But the President was wise and saw that he could gain so much more if he took a different route to Wutai. If he took care of the Peacemakers as well. It was simple, really. Don't send more men to Wutai, keep them home, train them. Gather a larger army, one that can take care of both your enemies. Lose the battle, win the war. Spread the Peacemakers around the world so that they couldn't be there to protect their home. My knowledge of the area helped greatly in planning and executing the attack. I was sorry not to be able to be there myself, but I had to stay back to finish the preparations for the attack on Wutai. And I must admit, no matter how much the Peacemakers were a part of the deception, it was far more satisfying to wait until Wutai, to see it fall in front of my eyes. Under my hands." He spread his hands, looking gleeful. Cloud could hardly stand it anymore; the look on Sephiroth's face, the wickedness in his voice, how he talked of the things that had meant the world to him before.

"Even you have to appreciate the beauty of such a plan. Simple but effective. And now you're all beaten, Wutai and Peacemakers alike."

"Stop!" Cloud screeched, lifting his fists to cover his ears. "Stop it! Sephiroth, stop! This isn't you! Stop it! You're Wutaian and a Peacemaker, you're not ShinRa! Stop it! Listen to your—"

Sephiroth slapped him, hard, and the smaller blond whimpered as he fell over due to the momentum of the punch, toppling over the chair as well.

"This is the third and last time I tell you to be quiet, Cloud." Sephiroth said loud and clear before turning to dismiss the guards who had entered the tent. "It's all right. Stay outside, no matter what you hear. I will handle this."

Cloud decided to stay on the cold ground. At least he wouldn't have to see Sephiroth's face which wasn't his anymore. He didn't know this man, no matter that he looked so achingly like _his_ Sephiroth. He wondered vaguely why he hadn't killed himself as soon as he had thought he'd killed Sephiroth. It would have been the smart thing to do.

However, as the world seemed to be so fond of reminding him, he had never been all that smart.

A black-clad hand came into the distorted view of his teary eyes and grabbed him tightly by the front of his shirt. He was hauled upright with apparent ease and set on his legs which, for some reason, weren't too keen on co-operating with him. Didn't matter, though, as the strong arm seemed perfectly capable of keeping him standing. It actually lifted him off the ground and brought him uncomfortably close to Sephiroth's face. Definitely uncomfortable. Any other time Cloud would have practically swooned of the mere thought of being so close to the man he loved, but the look in those glowing eyes assured him that this was not one of such occasions.

The hatred and contempt in them was shattering. Cloud whimpered and closed his eyes, not capable of maintaining the eye contact that pierced him to the core of his soul, deeming him unworthy.

Mother had once told him that it was better even to be hated than to be thought as insignificant. He had always agreed on that, after he'd been old enough to truly understand it. When he had been a child the thought of someone hating him had made him sad, but later on he had understood the wisdom of her words, when he had tried to reach out to someone who might have become a friend, and had been shrugged off like a mere bug.

But right now, right here, so close to Sephiroth's rage that he thought he might burn, he thought that indifference would have been so much kinder. He could have forced himself to let go, then. Maybe. He could have at least forced himself to let go for long enough to find the closest cliff to throw himself off from.

This anger made his soul shrink, it tightened his throat, it nearly destroyed him with its intensity, the strength of the feeling Sephiroth still had for him. Indifference would have been easy, a clear dismissal.

This rage, it seemed to burn much stronger than their love ever had.

And he couldn't escape it. Not when Sephiroth had such a tight hold of his shirt that it was making it hard for him to breathe. Not when his other hand found its way around Cloud's waist and pulled him tight against his chest. Blue eyes shot open at that, and Cloud forgot his fear, terror and sorrow, tightness of his throat, bleeding lip and the tight squeeze around his middle when he recognized the hunger in those green eyes. It had scared him a little the first time he had seen it, and known it for what it was. But he had very soon gotten over that fear as trust had spread itself over everything that happened between them.

This time, however, he wondered if he'd be completely consumed by it as he listened and felt to the strong, fast beats of Sephiroth's heart, so close and still so obviously completely out of his reach.

"… I can face death with an open heart, if I know that you are near…" Cloud whispered and closed his eyes, tilting his head back so that his neck was bared in surrender. Sephiroth laughed and ran his tongue roughly over it, from collarbone to chin. The smaller blond shivered against him and slid his frigid hands over the taller one's shoulders. He barely had to hold on, his body was more or less completely under Sephiroth's will, to be used however he saw fit.

* * *

It hadn't been quick, and it hadn't been easy. Several times during the following hours he had wanted to cry, to scream, anything to ease the pain, the soreness of his limbs, the rawness of his insides and soul. To be let free from the strong vice-like hold of those strong arms, away from the weight on top of him. But he hadn't made a sound. He knew without being told that it had been his punishment, and he had taken it silently.

After all, it hadn't been all bad, right? Sephiroth had been almost kind at times, near tender in his burning rage that sometimes bordered on passion. So what if he was bleeding a little, aching all over, dizzy from exhaustion, lack of sleep, food and water? They were together, and even though Sephiroth was still angry, he had been almost gentle. To someone who had hurt him so bad. It wasn't forgiveness, but maybe it was a first step?

It had been familiar, a reminder of how it had been during those months of war, and the few weeks of peace after it. Those wonderful days that now seemed like a dream of perfection. It couldn't have lasted, he should have realized it. Nothing that was so good and pure and wonderful could last in this dark world of despair.

It hadn't been so painful back then. They had both made and effort to be gentle, no matter what they did. Even when they had been playing rough, there had always been that gentleness under it, making it safe, no matter how wild things had gotten. Not this time, though. Not this night. But this night had not been about love, tenderness, curiosity or joy. Just punishment for betrayal.

Punishment that he could only be happy to have received. For no matter how much it had hurt, both his body and spirit, it was familiar. It was Sephiroth.

He didn't know what to think. Didn't know what he'd be allowed to think anymore. Didn't know why he'd need a permission to think! All he knew was that it was cold, he was hurting all over, and this was just the beginning.

It was the darkest hours of the night now. He was still naked after it all; sweat, blood and other fluids had dried onto his skin. He was shivering as he sat on the otherwise empty cot which was still damp beneath his skin. Sephiroth sat next to the table, dressed in his warm clothes again –black leather trousers and a long jacket of the same material. Not to mention the boots. Had he been not so tired, Cloud would have considered Sephiroth the hottest thing he had ever seen- as he stared at the smaller blond, expression of boredom on his face when there was one there to recognize. Neither of them had slept at all in the short time that had passed once they'd stopped their… he hesitated to call it love-making since there had been no love involved. But he didn't know what else to call it, either. They hadn't slept after it anyway, and Cloud suspected that they wouldn't, either. Sephiroth didn't seem to mind at all, actually he seemed ready to go and fight a war again, had Wutai not surrendered. The spellcaster was exhausted and sore, but didn't dare to close his eyes or break eye contact.

They sat still through the rest of the night, time moving slowly around them. Two of the lanterns lost their brief lives as they ran out of oil.

Sephiroth broke the silence only once. "You know what you have to do?"

Cloud hadn't answered then, but Sephiroth hadn't pushed the issue. He had just continued to stare at the smaller blond, apparently uncaring of the answer or whether he'd even receive one.

The sun came up eventually, and people started to move around outside the tent. That was when Sephiroth stood up, tightened his belts and buckles over his waist and chest, picked up his sword and headed for the door. He threw the flap open and bright sunshine invaded the dark space, blinding Cloud, making his bones hurt with its strength.

"Put some clothes on." Sephiroth said over his shoulder before leaving. He let the flap fall closed after him. He hadn't said whether Cloud was allowed to leave, but he hadn't needed to. The spellcaster would stay put until he was told otherwise.

His legs almost buckled when he pushed himself up from the cot. Shaking with the cold and exhaustion, he pulled his clothes on, grimacing at the pain in his body and at the numerous tears in the fabrics. He also tied on his materia bands –no matter that Sephiroth had taken all of the magic marbles away- and other pieces of armour before sitting back down on the cot. Now that he was warmer he was starting to get sleepier as well, but he didn't dare to put his head down. He didn't know, after all, when Sephiroth was coming back.

Minutes dragged on and turned into hours, and Cloud remained where he had been ordered. Now that the powerful presence of this new Sephiroth was gone, his mind could wander a bit farther from the tent. He wondered if Zack was all right, and what was happening to Aeris. Hojo was alive. Cloud guessed the bastard would love to get his hands on her. And there was nothing he could do to help her.

It didn't bother him as much as it should have, Cloud realized, but even that realization didn't stir much of an emotion inside of him. Everything felt so far away, somehow muted. As if the world consisted only of the tent, and beyond it was just space that he didn't need to worry himself about anymore.

Cloud wondered briefly whether he'd lost his mind or just had a nervous breakdown. Both seemed plausible to him. Not that he cared much.

He didn't know how much time had passed when he heard the sound of a helicopter over the steady murmur of people talking and moving outside the canvas tent. It came closer and closer, louder and louder. Eventually it landed, probably not too far away, judging by the level of noise. It died down quickly and the sounds of the army picked up. Their voices sounded louder now as they passed, no doubt heading towards the helicopter.

Cloud just turned to stare at the door.

The sun was shining brightly when the flap was pulled open some time after the helicopter had landed. Sephiroth stepped in, and turned off the rest of the world again. In the darkness of the tent his eyes glowed so brightly.

The general came to stand in front of Cloud and smirked a little when the smaller blond turned to look up at him.

"So, love. Will you follow me?" Sephiroth asked, holding out his hand.

Cloud found that he could give only one answer. He reached out for the man he loved more than life itself, and let himself be pulled up.

Sephiroth grinned. There were shark teeth in his smile.

.

* * *

**A.N.:** Err… hi?

Of course I couldn't kill Zack. I can torture Cloud mercilessly and kill Sephiroth over and over, but Zack I am not killing. It was bad enough he was killed in the game!

I'm going to give the other members of Avalanche small parts as well, if I can fit them in somewhere. But, I should warn you, if no sudden plotbunnies jump at me from behind a corner and force new stuff on me, the end is nigh. It's soon time for the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.

…and I kind of want to start another long story… uh oh. I was thinking that this'd be my last one for now, but… I dunno. Anyhoo, I'm gonna try and update the rest of this on the 7th of every month. So, see you on the 7th of September!

**EXTRA:**

"So you want to go to the Promised Land?" Aeris asked, and the President nodded eagerly. The pink-clad flower girl shrugged her shoulders and pulled a wand from the pocket of her skirt. She had been kind of surprised no one had thought to take it away from her. The men around her –the President, Hojo and Tseng- did seem a bit nervous now that she was pointing it at the head of all things ShinRa. "All right then. Ready?"

"Yes!" The President exclaimed and opened his arms wide.

"AVADA KEDAVRA!" Aeris shouted and green light erupted from the tip of her wand, hitting the President square in the chest. He was tossed back by the strength of the spell and flew a few feet before falling to the ground in a heap, dead.

Hojo and Tseng blinked at the sight before turning to Aeris.

"Blimey…" Tseng muttered.

Aeris grinned.


	18. Chapter 14: Straining

Reminder: I own nothing. But I would give my left testicle to get Crisis Core right NOW, and in a language I can understand. My Japanese is horrid.

Wait. I don't have testicles. Hmm. Ok, I'd give anyone's BOTH testicles to get it NOW. Oh Zack, you're finally getting what you deserve. To be the STAR.

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* * *

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**Chapter Fourteen**

**Straining**

**.  
**

The sunshine almost blinded him as he stumbled to keep up with Sephiroth. The taller man had a firm grip on his upper arm and was pulling him along, merciless in the swiftness of his movements. Cloud's shorter legs complained loudly for their lack of rest, but there was no time to heed them, no chance to lie down and sleep.

Soldiers were moving all around them, some running around on errands, others walking or marching more sedately. Most of the army had returned here after Wutai had surrendered; only those who were guarding the capital of the island were out there performing their duty. Others were waiting for their turn or other commands. Most of those not on duty were pottering around the area where the two of them were headed. They stepped quickly out of the way when they saw Sephiroth approaching, saluting or bowing but not quite daring to meet those green eyes. Some of them were Soldiers with their own glowing eyes, and they dared longer glances.

Sephiroth ignored them all.

The soldiers had no trouble staring at Cloud, however, as the weary blond was pulled along to wherever they were going. He could feel their eyes on his skin, making him feel even dirtier than he already felt. They started whispering as soon as he and Sephiroth had passed. They must have known who he was, at least the part about being on the opposing side. A prisoner of war. The enemy. Some laughed when they saw him. ShinRa wasn't kind on those who got on their wrong side.

Their mutterings mattered little to Cloud, though. He was more concerned with the tight hand around his arm, and even dreading a little where they were going. Sephiroth had his Masamune with him. Maybe he was going to be executed, and all the soldiers were waiting here to see that.

Dying by Sephiroth's hand didn't seem like such a bad thing. It was something he could live with. Figuratively speaking. It seemed proper. He had even received his last wish the night before.

The throng of soldiers grew thicker the further they got. Still, they opened a clear pathway to Sephiroth even before they could have seen him. Cloud thought that maybe they could sense him. Feel the aura the man carried upon himself. How could they miss it?

He was expecting to have to pass through half of the army before getting to wherever they were going, when suddenly they were practically spat out of the throng. Sephiroth didn't turn or stop, didn't in any way acknowledge the change as he walked on, pulling Cloud with him. And that's when the smaller blond saw where they were going. His eyes grew large and, he couldn't help it, his mouth fell open. He would have stopped in his tracks had Sephiroth's relentless pace allowed it.

He had head the helicopter arrive, but he hadn't given any thought to who might have come with it.

* * *

It was nearing mid-morning when they finally reached Wutai and landed behind ShinRa lines. Aeris was momentarily distracted from her peril when she saw the beauty of the land around her. Once Tseng half pulled, half helped her out of the helicopter, maintaining a firm grip on her arm, she could even feel the power of the land when her foot first reached it.

It was like nothing she'd ever felt in Midgar. Even Mideel with its nature and peace had been just a pale imitation of what she could feel here. The land was as old as it was everywhere, of course, but here it had not been tainted by Mako, not trodden on by so many people, diluted by their despair and anger. The earth was strong here, and it clearly wasn't happy with the army now treading upon it. Trespassing, even.

No wonder the President seemed to think he'd find the Promised Land here. Aeris felt her heart skip at the thought. If anywhere, this was where the world of beyond was the closest.

She was brought out of her thoughts when Tseng started to pull her along after Hojo, the President and some army men. The helicopter's propellers were slowing down behind them as its engines were turned off. The sound of thousands of men around them grew louder when the hum of engines she had already grown used to diminished.

They didn't go far; the army men –Aeris had no idea what the tags on their uniforms meant- lead them to a nearby large tent where they could refresh themselves and have something to eat. Tseng kept a close eye on Aeris while she abused the soap, water and towels to their fullest. She was given a pair of army trousers, a shirt and boots to wear, to keep her warm in the slightly colder climate of Wutai, and to keep her figure hidden from the eyes of the soldiers. It was nice not to feel so naked anymore, although once they left the tent again, Aeris got the quite uncomfortable experience of being undressed by the eyes of a few hundred men who had gathered around curiously. Tseng did position himself as much between her and them as possible, but since the men were all around the area, it was impossible to keep her hidden from all of them.

No one had bothered to tell her what was going on, but she figured that they were waiting for something as they stood around in front of the tent. The soldiers were muttering and watching them, also waiting. The President was on the phone with someone, Hojo was immersed in his notes again, and Tseng just stood still, looking calm and dangerous. Aeris peeked around him to get a look at his face, but there was no emotion there to be seen. She knew that he was Wutaian: it was obvious to anyone who looked at him. Wutaians tended to have black or very dark hair, and somewhat darker skin than those living on the eastern continents. They worked outside a lot, spent their days in the sun and winds. Tseng had lived in Midgar most of his life, worked indoors for many years but it had not changed his appearance.

"What's it like, being back home?" Aeris asked quietly, wanting to see any emotion, any recognition to her words on his face. There was none. For a while she thought the Turk hadn't even heard her.

"This is not my home." Tseng finally said through tight lips, and refused to elaborate. Aeris sighed and turned her attention to the world around her. The drugs Hojo had given her had left her system completely hours ago, so she was fully aware of everything around her. The power in the land, its indignation; the roots of the nearby trees, spreading deep into the ground; the birds sitting in the trees, daring only small sounds every now and then; the wind fluttering their feathers and whispering around everyone; and the clouds high above, not caring in the slightest about what was going on beneath them. Despite the men staring at them, the helicopter and her captors, the whole war, Aeris felt more at peace than she believed she ever had.

She wished she could have come here at another time, when ShinRa would be gone, when the land was free and happy. She knew she could be happy here, and she was sure her small family would like it as well. Elmyra would appreciate the nature and the peace. Zack seemed happy wherever he was, happiest where his friends and loved ones were happy. Cloud had already experienced so much here in Wutai, but the way he had spoken of the land, she knew he'd be happy here some day.

That lead her again to the thought that maybe the two men were here, on the other side of the whole ugly business known as war. A cold hand clutched her heart when she realized that if that were the case, they could be dead by now. But the feeling eased when the ground below her assured her that she didn't need to worry. They had not entered the Lifestream.

Aeris wanted to fall to her knees, to sink her hands into the dirt beneath her, to lie down and press her cheek to the ground and just feel the world live and whisper its secrets to her. But the sudden silence around her alerted her to the fact that something was happening. She looked up, saw that everyone had turned to look in the same direction –even Hojo- and followed their eyes.

All she could see at first was the army, moving as one mass of uniformed men, blue and green and the dark purple of Soldiers. Then she spotted that something was passing through the throng, parting it like a boat moving through water. She caught a glimpse of pale, almost white hair coming towards them, and guessed that whoever that was, it was the person they had been waiting for.

She swallowed nervously and sought comfort from the ground below. Its currents soothed her somewhat, but didn't manage to take all of the anxiety away. Not when the tall, pale man was moving so fast towards them. The crowd parted before him without a sound. Aeris felt the sudden urge to hide behind Tseng, the only person here she could come even close to trusting. But she squared her jaw and prepared herself to face whatever would happen with her head held high. She wouldn't let them know how scared she was.

The last lines of men parted, and a tall man stepped onto the opening, not slowing down his pace at all as he headed towards their small group. Aeris felt her eyes grow large when she saw how beautiful he was. There really was no other word she could come up with for him. The tall man was beautiful with his long, silvery white hair gleaming in the sunlight, pale skin and handsome features, and the most piercing green eyes she had…

She ran her eyes quickly over him again as a cold feeling started to grow in the bottom of her stomach. She had seen this man before, she was sure of it. The look on his face was different, very different, she knew that, even when she couldn't quite place him. She actually took a step behind Tseng, frowning, trying to find a memory to go with those features. Green eyes, silver hair, tall and intimidating.

Aeris then noticed that there was someone with him, walking a few steps behind the man. Stumbling, more like it. She caught a glimpse of sunshine hair, pointing everywhere in stubborn spikes. Her heart started to beat faster as a hand flew up to cover her mouth when she recognized first Cloud and then…

"Sephiroth?" she whispered quietly, not quite believing what her brain was telling her.

But the man before her could be no one else besides Cloud's dead lover, whom she had seen in the few photos Cloud had shown them. She couldn't believe there could be another one like him. Not this similar. Not here, not now, not when ShinRa, Wutai, Hojo and even Cloud were all here. It could only be the one they had thought to be dead.

All except Hojo. She could faintly remember him talking of Sephiroth like he was alive. When she had mentioned that he had died, Hojo had just smirked. So this was why.

Sephiroth stopped a few feet away from them. Cloud, behind him, almost bumped to the taller man as he stared at Aeris, his eyes and mouth wide. Sephiroth paid no attention to him or her, but didn't loosen his seemingly tight grip on the smaller blond either. He nodded slightly to Hojo before bowing low in front of the President.

Aeris was aware that the President and Sephiroth were talking –his voice sounded just like Zack had described it to her- but she wasn't listening. Her eyes were on Cloud, who was staring back, tired and confused and disbelieving. She wanted to run to him but Tseng, apparently sensing her thoughts, lifted his arm slightly to keep her still. The movement brought Cloud out of his trance, and the blond shut his mouth as all expression drained away from his face. Even his eyes seemed to go empty. They slid from her to stare at some point ahead, unfocused and cloudy. She actually moved to go to him, but Tseng glanced quickly over his shoulder, and his eyes nailed her to where she stood.

"Well done, Sephiroth. With your history, I knew we could take down Wutai." the President was just saying, and Aeris turned away from her friend to follow the conversation.

"Thank you, sir." Sephiroth said quietly but clearly, and bowed a little. "We have more or less secured the town, and all the survivors there are under constant surveillance. A few escaped to the mountains, but as we move there they should be easily taken care of."

"Very good, very good." the President rocked a little on the balls of his feet, clearly excited and satisfied with the report. "When can we leave?"

"As soon as you wish, sir." Sephiroth said with another bow. Aeris watched how a few tendrils of his hair slipped over his shoulder and reached almost to the ground before the man pulled up. The hairs followed in a perfect curve, like quicksilver gliding through the air. Glancing over at Cloud she realized that she wasn't the only one mesmerized by the movement.

"Oh, but this is your show, son."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the words and was about to open his mouth, but Tseng beat him to it.

"May I suggest, sir, that we wait until tomorrow before heading out? We have been on the move for a long time, and the army will have time to catch up with those who have managed to escape the siege."

"Very well." the President was nodding, and Sephiroth agreed with a slight nod towards the Turk.

"I'll have my men prepare a few tents for you, and see that everything is ready for our departure tomorrow." the general said with another deep bow and was about to turn and leave when the President seemed to notice Cloud for the first time.

"And who is this, then? Surely he is not one of our own, dressed like this?"

All eyes turned to the shorter blond; his messy hair, pale and bruised face, dirty and torn clothes and the overall weariness of his whole being. He seemed to be completely unaware of the attention.

Hojo was smirking even when his eyes returned to his notes.

"No, sir. He is one of the more powerful spellcasters amongst the Peacemakers. I caught him yesterday, and thought it better to bring him along than leave him unguarded." Sephiroth explained calmly.

The President snorted, clearly not believing that the sorry sight in front of him could strike fear into any of his soldiers, let alone use spells. "I find that hard to believe. He looks like he doesn't even know where he is."

"Don't let it fool you. He can be quite resourceful when he feels like it." Hojo suddenly spoke, still smirking. The President turned to the professor, as did the others within hearing range. "You see, mister President, this is the one I was telling you about, the one who not only wounded me and Sephiroth, but killed several of my scientists, therefore delaying the project until Sephiroth healed properly. Not to mention my own wounds. He's a right little maggot, but quite capable when desperate enough. I had hoped I'd seen the last of him last summer."

"Ah, so this is the one." the head of the ShinRa corporation stepped closer to give Cloud a closer look. Sephiroth stepped out of his way, which made Cloud look up and straight into the President's eyes. The older man snorted and patted the blond roughly on the cheek. "I have to say I'm still not impressed. But if he really was that much of a bother to you, Hojo, you might as well punish him for it."

Hojo's smirk grew to previously unseen proportions. "Thank you, sir. I was not aware that it was my birthday yet."

Even Tseng shivered at the sight. Sephiroth, however, seemed somewhat annoyed.

"I have use of him still. Once I am through with him, you can do whatever you please." He said quietly to Hojo who didn't seem bothered at all by this. The professor merely shrugged and returned to his notes.

"Take all the time you need, my boy. I'm sure you won't break him completely."

Sephiroth nodded, turned to salute the President and left the opening, Cloud still in tow. The smaller blond's eyes passed Aeris briefly, but there was no recognition in them. They disappeared into the throng of people as quickly as they had appeared. Hojo headed back towards the tent they had been fed in while the President was lead away by the same army men who had escorted them earlier. Tseng grabbed Aeris's arm surprisingly gently and guided her back into the tent after Hojo.

She couldn't know for sure what had happened to Cloud to disturb him so, but she was ready to bet whatever she had to give that Sephiroth coming back from the dead was shock enough to break the blond. She just wished he could still be fixed, if this new Sephiroth didn't shatter him completely. She had never met Sephiroth before his 'death', but by what she had heard from Cloud and Zack, and what she had just felt from the man himself, she knew that this might be the same body but a completely different man.

There was some good in all this, however, she decided as she sat into a chair in the corner of the tent, as far from Hojo as possible, under Tseng's watchful eye.

If Cloud was here, so was Zack.

* * *

"You are NOT getting up! I don't care if I have to sit on you, you are not getting up."

Zack groaned and let his head fall back on the ground. The Wutaian healer glared at him to make sure he'd stay still before she moved on. Deren, who was sitting next to him, had managed to keep his face straight, unlike the other patients nearby. The ShinRa men still standing guard around the tent didn't seem to care what happened inside the tents, as long as no one tried to leave who wasn't allowed to leave. Zack knew that he could take advantage of that fact.

If he could get up without having his head bit off by an angry healer. All right, so he was still on the mend, just sitting up made him tired. It hadn't been even 24 hours yet since he'd been injured.

"She's right, though. You should rest. There isn't anything you can do, sir." Deren said quietly, voicing what Zack knew to be good sense. The fighters had been ordered to turn in their weapons and armour, so Deren was wearing only a sweaty shirt and an old pair of pants. Spellcasters had been stripped of their materia as well. The ShinRa fighters were fully armed, of course.

The fighter was helping the Wutaians who were passing food around and taking care of the wounded, so he was allowed to move from tent to tent. Zack had begged Deren to keep him company for a while when he'd seen the familiar face pass by.

They both fell quiet when there was a commotion in another nearby hospital tent. Zack squared his jaw and forced himself up to a sitting position despite the slight pain and dizziness it caused him.

"What's going on?" he asked quietly, trying to see past the ShinRa men.

"Someone's died." Deren answered. The fighter closed his eyes and muttered a small prayer.

The ShinRa men moved a little to make way for a healer and one of their own men who were carrying a dead Wutaian between them. Zack watched as the corpse was taken away towards the Pagoda of Five Gods.

"Where are they taking him?" he asked as soon as the silence the body's passing had caused lifted, and people started talking again.

"They're… uhh. They're taking all the dead to the forest near the Pagoda, and burying them in the moats." Deren explained, clearly disturbed by the idea.

"Shit." Zack muttered.

"It's disgusting. No respect for the dead."

Zack leaned back down on the ground and let out a long sigh. His wound wasn't giving him any trouble as long as he stayed still. Just the act of sitting up had made the healed skin and muscle burn annoyingly.

"At least they're getting out of here…" he muttered and stared at the canvas ceiling above them. It felt like he already knew every inch of it, every thread and—

The same idea hit them both at the same time. Their reactions just were completely opposite.

"It will not work." Deren said, shaking his head.

"How can you be so sure?" Zack was grinning like mad.

"It's moronic."

"And that's exactly why it will work!"

"You think they won't notice you're alive?"

"That guy was still looking pretty alive while they carried him. Come on, you gotta help me."

"No. Zack, sir, no. I won't. It's stupid. It will get us both killed."

"It won't. Come on! I can't just lie here. If Seph's really back-"

"He is." Deren interrupted quietly.

"- I have to go. And if he's really got Cloud-"

"He does."

"- I can't just lie here doin' nothing. Shit, I don't think Cloud's gonna be able to handle this. I mean, he thinks... no, he knows." Zack turned to the fighter and motioned for him to lean in closer. Deren did so, and Zack pushed himself up enough that he could whisper to the man.

"Cloud was the one who killed Sephiroth. Well, clearly he didn't _kill_ him, but you can see how that'll put a damper on their relationship."

Deren sat back straight and blinked down at Zack for a while. "Yes. But I still don't see what you think you can do about it. Or anything, for that matter. They won't fall for it. And even if you'd manage to get out, can you even walk? Where would you go? You can't get behind ShinRa lines." The fighter did his best to talk sense to Zack, but little could sway the dark-haired man when he had one of his ideas.

"Minor details. I'll get around them." Zack muttered determinedly. "Hard part's distracting that crazy woman so long that I can get out of here." He nodded towards the healer who was on the other side of the tent.

"Speaking of them..." Deren said quietly as he spotted Cinna heading their way. She had remained in the same hospital after the town had been surrounded, but since she wasn't badly hurt, she was allowed to move around. Her left arm was still bandaged, but all that remained of whatever blow she'd received to the head was now just a nasty looking scar on her forehead.

Cinna sat down on Zack's other side with a bored snort. "How long are they gonna keep us here? I'm going crazy, being locked up inside four walls like this."

Deren let out a long, quiet sigh. Zack smiled a little. The 'tent' they were in was just a canvas ceiling tied onto several poles that kept it above them. There were no walls, unless the line of ShinRa troops counted. Still, Zack knew very well what she meant.

Oh. He'd just found an accomplice!

Deren correctly recognized the glint that appeared into his violet eyes and excused himself from their company quite quickly. Cinna frowned at his sudden departure until Zack nudged at her and beckoned her to lean in closer.

* * *

Having Elena with them certainly helped; she had key-cards to open all the doors in the upper floors. The one above them was almost completely taken over by a large laboratory, so the group hurried on. The 69th floor had two staircases which lead to the President's office, according to the Turk.

They stopped there to catch their breaths and to ready themselves for what would be waiting for them at the top.

"What's the security like up there?" Vincent asked Elena but she refused to answer.

"I don't think the Prez would keep a lot of roboguards and shit like that up there." Cid reasoned. He was way too sober by now, and was looking for a liquor cabinet reserved for the guests waiting at the lounge. No luck, though. The blond sighed and explained further. "I mean, there's like seventy floors below him to keep him safe. Ya know, if they all weren't such pussies or over in Wutai. And he's supposed to have his Turks, isn't he?" he gestured at Elena. "Fat load of good you guys are, though. He just seems like the type of pompous ass who'd think that no one can get to him through all those floors and guards."

"You're right." A voice suddenly spoke from above them. The whole group, guns and other weapons ready, turned to stare at the top of the stairs to their right, but they couldn't see anyone there. "The man is an idiot. Too bad for you, all his subordinates aren't."

"Cover your asses!" Barret roared just as a blond woman suddenly stood up at the top of the stairs and aimed a very large gun -practically a cannon- at them. The group scattered for safety in an instant while she pulled the trigger. The only one to stand his ground was Barret who aimed his gun-arm straight at her and opened fire.

Vincent had grabbed Cid the moment Barret had opened his mouth, and dragged the baffled blond behind a large receptionist's desk with computers on it. As soon as the missile from the top of the stairs hit the floor the monitors exploded, throwing glass over them. Dust, debris and screams filled the air, following the beat of Barret's gun. A few others opened fire, and despite Cid trying to pull him back down, Vincent peeked out from behind the desk and aimed his gun at the top of the stairs as well. There was too much dust in the air for him to see all the way up there, but since the only sounds of battle were coming from their side, it was likely there was no one coming at them. Right now, anyway.

Cid peeked over the desk as well and realized the same thing. "Yo! Guys! Stop! I think you got her!"

Silence fell over the room, interrupted only by the moaning of the building around them. Vincent dared to stand up while a few men ran up the stairs to where the woman had been shooting from.

There was a gaping hole in the floor, in the middle of the reception lounge. They could easily see all the way to the floor below them, even though the dust hadn't yet completely settled.

Vincent's attention was drawn from the hole when one of the men called out "She's dead." from the top of the stairs.

"Woah." Cid muttered and took a long drink from the bottle of alcohol in his hand. Vincent turned to him, slightly surprised. He hadn't noticed when the blond had stood up.

"... Where did you get that from?" he gestured at the bottle of clear liquor. Cid shrugged.

"It was in one of the desk's drawers. I figured that if you gotta work for the Prez ShinRa, you're gonna need a little something to get through the day. And I was right!" He took another drink before closing the slim bottle and slipping it into one of his pockets. "So. Are we all still alive?"

Barret, still standing and staring at the top of the stairs, turned around and surveyed the room. Vincent did the same and frowned when he calculated that they'd lost almost half of their small group to the missile. Elena was also missing, but he couldn't see her body anywhere. Maybe she had escaped in the confusion and under the cover of the curtain of dust. Didn't matter, Cid should still have enough dynamite to get them into the office. To the top of the ShinRa Headquarters.

"Shit." The gothic man muttered to himself when he realized it.

They'd actually conquered the ShinRa Headquarters.

"Vinnie. Look sharp."

He looked up to see Cid throw him a smile and a wink. "Come on, honeybunny. We're going to the top!"

Vincent smirked. But only a little. And only to Cid. "All right, Snuggles. Lead the way."

Those who were still alive and able to go on took the left staircase towards the president of ShinRa's office. Those who had gone to check on the blond woman were keeping guard there, making sure that no one would try to escape or attack them through that door.

Instead of dynamite, they decided that Barret would just shoot through the surprisingly simple lock. They'd burst in and shoot at anything that moved. One last battle.

After quick nods to confirm that everyone was ready, Barret lifted his gun-arm to the door and opened fire. As soon as the lock gave in, Cid kicked the door in and, Vincent on his heels, lead the remains of the slum mob to the heart of the ShinRa corporation.

"We surrender!"

They stopped and almost stumbled over each other at the loud screech from the opposite side of the room.

"What the fuck?" Cid blinked, gave Vincent and Barret a curious look, and took a few steps towards a huge desk which had been turned over to its side. From behind it someone was waving a white flag. All they could see was the shaking stick with a handkerchief tied to it.

"Don't kill us!" The same scared voice shouted.

"Oh for fuck's sakes man, grow a spine!" Cid shouted, exasperated, and lit a cigarette. Vincent lowered his gun and snorted. This was so anti-climatic.

Their group moved across the room and the ones behind the other door also came in as three men stood slowly up from behind the desk. The middle one, a shaky fat man in white clothes, was holding the flag with both hands. He seemed scared out of his mind. The other two looked mostly embarrassed.

"You gotta be kidding me." Cid muttered, pulled out his bottle and took a drink.

"I know that feeling…" one of the men, wearing a green military uniform said quietly.

"Don't kill us! The President isn't here anymore!" The man with the flag shouted.

"We know! Don't wet your panties. We ain't gonna kill you." Cid assured them while they searched the room. "Anyone else here besides you three?"

"No." The third man, youngest and, by the look of it, least disturbed by all this, said. "The President left earlier with professor Hojo, Tseng and a prisoner. There was just us and Scarlet left."

"The lady in red? We kinda killed her. Sorry." Cid added the last word when the man in white gasped with horror. "She started it."

"Where's the President's son? Rufus?" Barret asked, glaring at the three so menacingly that Cid thought the shaky one would faint.

"Not here, that's all I know." The youngest one said.

"So he and the Prez are outta our reach." Barret growled and hit the desk with his gun-arm. That was enough to make the man in white faint. Cid laughed.

"That's Palmer, isn't it?" he pointed at the man in white and the other two nodded. "I met him a coupla times back in Rocket Town. He came to meet with my Pa when the space program was still running. Ya know, before it was scrapped and everyone there lost their friggin' jobs."

He lifted his eyes to the other two. "So who are you two then?"

The man in green refused to answer, just stroked at his black beard and glared at him.

"He's General Heidigger, and I am Reeve Tuesti, from urban development." The youngest said and almost reached out to shake Cid's hand.

"Good for you." Cid said and nudged his head towards the doors. "How come you three guys are hidin' in here while the skirt was the only one with enough balls to come and try to stop us?"

Heidigger and Reeve glanced at each other and at the unconscious Palmer.

"Ok. How come the two of you just hid here while yadda yadda?" the mechanic was finding it hard to keep his smile under control.

"We only had the one gun, and figured it would be wiser to just give up. Scarlet disagreed." Reeve explained.

"Twats." Cid muttered and turned towards his friends. "So. We're at the top of the fucking world. What do we do now?"

* * *

Zack was so excited he swore his toes were tingling. He had not only one accomplice but two!

Lady Meriko had come around again with one of the healers. Her eyes were still red from all the crying earlier, but Zack could see she was trying to be strong. She had stopped to ask how he was doing, and he had shamelessly recruited her to help him escape.

It had been easy, really. All he'd had to do was mention that he wanted to get out so he could go to Sephiroth and Cloud, and Lady Meriko had practically asked what she could do to help. He felt a bit guilty about that, but it wasn't like he'd lied to her. He was doing this so that he could get to his friends.

And at nightfall, he was leaving. There was no point in waiting until the next day or longer. They didn't know what the enemy was up to; it was better he got out sooner than later.

It had been even easier –if that was possible- to get Cinna to help him. She was bored out of her mind just sitting around, doing nothing. Making a scene and fooling the enemy to get him out of the town was, according to her own words, 'just what the doctor ordered' for her. They were both smirking while Lady Meriko left to try and gather some information. The healer who Zack was lovingly calling his nemesis glared at the two grinning patients as she walked past.

Didn't matter. Zack was getting out!

He needed to gather his strength, so he forced himself to calm down and sleep a little. Cinna promised to wake him when it started to get dark.

No matter how excited he was, Zack was asleep in just a few minutes. And it felt like he'd just closed his eyes when hew as shaken awake. He was sore all over, and knew that what he was about to do would be painful. But he wasn't going to let that stop him. He wouldn't go back to sleep and let the world pass him by.

"Ok, ok, I'm awake…" Zack muttered to make Cinna stop shaking him. He didn't open his eyes or move much, though, just in case someone was watching him. It would be easier to pretend he was dead if no one had seen him move in the past hours. "What's it look like?"

"It's getting dark. They're going to change the guards in about an hour. These guys are tired, cranky, hungry and bored. Just like we want them." Cinna explained quietly

"Perfect." Zack muttered, barely suppressing his grin. "Any sign of Lady Meriko?"

"Not yet, but they're coming with the food soon. Hope she's found something out."

"Yeah. Hey Cinna. Thanks."

"No problem. Get what you need to do done, and try to get us out of here while you're at it."

"Sure." Zack smirked a little and relaxed, feigning sleep.

He managed to keep a straight face a little later when his nemesis walked by and asked Cinna how he was doing. The fighter told her he was sleeping, and had been sleeping since the afternoon. The healer figured that he was healing, and left.

Soon after that, while the ShinRa troops were starting to get restless as their shift rolled towards its end, the Wutaians came into the tent again with bowls of soup.

"It's showtime…" Cinna muttered as she spotted Lady Meriko. Zack felt her sit up beside him, and he had to force himself to relax. This was it. Everything from this point on depended on his ability to play dead. No smirking, no giggling –for some reason, he wanted to do both- no moaning if he was hurt, no struggling. Nothing at all.

"Here you go, miss. Is he well enough to eat?" he heard Lady Meriko ask nearby.

"Yeah, he's just sleeping." Cinna answered. He couldn't hear what they were whispering after that, but trusted that the fighter would pass the message on.

Footsteps as Lady Meriko walked past. Nudging as Cinna tried to get him to wake up.

"Zack? Wake up, lazy ass. Dinnertime." She was talking loud enough for people around them to hear. Then she leaned over him and whispered into his ear: "There's some rumours that Sephiroth and some big shots are leaving their camp tomorrow morning. Don't know more."

"Thanks." Zack whispered from between closed lips. Cinna sat back up and made a show about trying to wake him up.

"Hey. Didn't you hear me? Food, Zack!"

"Something wrong?" someone asked.

"Can't get this lazy ass to wake up…"

Zack forced his face straight when Cinna pushed him to his side enough to slip the contents of her bowl between his back and the ground. A cold stain immediately seeped into his shirt, making him want to shiver.

"Oh shit. I think he's…"

He wanted to applaud her for the note of terror she managed to get into her voice. Footsteps came towards him again as Cinna pulled him to his other side, to show off his now bloody back. It looked like his wound had reopened and he had bled to death, even though there wasn't quite enough blood for that on the ground.

"He's dead."

A scream of horror, stumbling steps and surprised noises. Zack wanted to open his eyes to see what was going on, but he had to trust that his two little helpers were going with the plan.

The one screaming was of course Lady Meriko, who by now should be hanging around his nemesis's neck, crying and keeping her away from his corpse.

"Not another one…" came a bored voice from the ShinRa lines, followed by an order to take him away. Shuffling around him, Cinna's protests as she was pulled away. Someone spread his blanket to cover his face as well while another pair of hands grabbed his ankles roughly.

"Way to spoil everyone's appetite, ass."

Zack almost burst to laughter when he heard the muttered words, but remained still, even when gentler hands grabbed him under his armpits and he was lifted from the ground. His upper back and neck were now resting against the chest of whoever had such a strong hold of his upper body. Lady Meriko was still sobbing, and his nemesis was trying to calm her down. It sounded like Cinna was struggling against whoever was holding her. The fighter was even crying. Zack decided he would have to thank her properly, if they both managed to get out of this alive.

"Damn, he's still warm." The man at his feet said quietly as they started to carry him away.

"Not for long…" the voice at his other end said. It was clearly familiar, but the blanket over his ears distorted it so that Zack couldn't say for sure who it was. He figured that the one carrying his feet was one of ShinRa's, and the other one of the locals or even a Peacemaker. Why make two soldiers carry out the dead when you could get by with one and a prisoner, after all.

They weren't exactly gentle with him, and his healing wound protested loudly to the bumpy ride. He couldn't complain, but allowed the tears of pain to go unchecked. There was a blanket on his face, no one would see.

The walk towards the Pagoda seemed to take forever, even when the ShinRa soldier was hurrying them on, complaining how he had to do this just at the end of his shift. That's what they had been counting on, the troopers being so tired and sick of standing guard that they'd just want to dump his ass in a moat and get back to their tents.

"Will he be buried tonight?" the familiar voice asked once they were out of the central of the village. Zack at least assumed so, it was far quieter and darker. Loudest noises he could hear were the sounds of two pairs of boots on gravel.

"I ain't doing it. Probably the next guys, or then in the morning. What do you care?"

"He was a friend of mine."

Deren. So he couldn't stay away after all. Zack grinned and risked nudging his head a little against the fighter's chest.

"Oh. A good friend?"

"A stupid, reckless moron. But a friend nevertheless." Deren's words were loud enough to make Zack suspect that he had leaned his head down so that he could talk close to the corpse's ear.

The soldier carrying his feet chuckled. "Well, he's dead now."

"Good riddance…" Deren muttered. Zack snorted.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. When are you ending this siege?"

"Pfft. Wish I knew. Bloody stupid business. But we gotta keep you still at least until the big guys finish their business at the mountains."

Zack frowned under the blanket. Big guys? Mountains? Obviously Seph and the 'big shots' Cinna had mentioned.

"Mountains?" Deren asked nonchalantly, making it sound like he was just making conversation and not trying to pry or more information.

"Don't ask me, I've no idea. Rumour is they're going to some mountains near here, so we're keeping a tight watch on you until they're done. Like a few hundred prisoners without weapons could do anything. Anyway, we're here."

Zack forced himself limp and expressionless again as his carriers stopped. He tried to hold his breath against the smell of recent death and fresh corpses, but the effort made his wound burn.

"Just toss him in there and we're done."

Tossing did not sound good.

Tossing did not feel good.

Hitting the ground back first did not feel good at all. In fact, it hurt bad enough that Zack let out a low groan.

"What the hell?"

"Death rattle. Haven't you heard one before?" Deren said somewhere above him.

"Oh, gross. I'm out of here. Come on, Peacewanker."

"Bye Zack. And good luck." Deren said before all he could hear were footsteps walking away from him.

He waited for a long while until the pains in his back, head and wound lessened a little and until he was sure there was no one else around. Then he finally pulled the blanket off his face and pulled his lungs full of air. That made him gag because of the stench of rotting flesh all around, even under him.

"Well, at least I'm out." Zack managed to choke out between gagging and gasping for breath.

* * *

The President returned a few hours later, just in time for dinner which was served for them in the tent. Aeris, Tseng and Hojo had all spent that time alone, in their own thoughts. The silence had grown so thick that Aeris couldn't have broken it had she wanted to.

She had soon slid down from the chair, to sit on the cold but comforting ground. She had felt Hojo's relentless staring when she'd sunk her fingers into the hard-packed ground. The sensation of the world beneath her skin was strong enough to ignore even the feel of those hungry eyes on her.

She had heard the spirits talk to her before, back at the church in the slums. But they had never been this loud and clear. They were talking amongst each other, and sometimes to her as well. They talked of the history of the world and the Ancients, of her heritage and how ShinRa's reactors were injuring the Planet.

It felt familiar somehow, being in such close contact with the spirits. Like going home after a long absence. The feeling of being where she truly belonged had brought tears to Aeris's eyes as she felt welcome in their company.

Reaching the Promised Land had never felt scary for her, but this was the first time she longed for it. But there was still so much to do here.

The entrance of a few troopers with trays of food pulled Aeris back to the present moment, and she sat back on her chair just before the President came in, talking animatedly with Sephiroth who seemed far less excited than the shorter man. The general's presence had an immediate effect on Hojo, whose eyes turned to stare at him. Aeris however noticed him glancing over her way every now and then.

President ShinRa beckoned everyone to the table as soon as the plates and trays were in place, and seated himself at the head of it. Sephiroth sat to his right, Hojo to the left. Aeris was told to sit next to the general, and Tseng seemed rather reluctant to take his place next to the professor.

There was a bottle of wine on the table, but everyone except for the President filled their glasses with water. ShinRa gave everyone a smug nod before raising his glass. "A toast, if you please."

Aeris glanced at Sephiroth and Tseng, and when the two and Hojo raised their glasses she followed their example.

"To the future of the ShinRa corporation. To our new start, and to Neo-Midgar." The President said and emptied his glass. Hojo rolled his eyes a little and took a small sip. Both the general and the Turk nodded and sipped at their drinks. Aeris brought the glass to her mouth but couldn't make herself drink to something like that.

Since no one else wanted to make any toasts they started to eat. Hojo seemed mostly bored with the whole affair, picking at his food while the President talked with Sephiroth. Again, the general's part of the conversation was mostly silence or short answers to the older man's questions. Tseng's whole attention seemed to be on his plate.

She had to admit that the food was very good, and not just because she hadn't eaten properly in a while. Either ShinRa treated their soldiers better than the rumours claimed, or the cook had made special efforts for the important guests. The latter was more likely.

Aeris stole glances at the general sitting next to her whenever she could. He was as beautiful up close than he had been in the morning, but different from what he had looked like in the few photos she'd seen of him.

Outside, he looked exactly the same. But the look in his eyes, his expressions. The man in the photos had given off the air of quiet contentment and even happiness. Not this man.

The circumstances were completely different, of course. Sephiroth in the photos had been a man in love, during the end of a long war and at peace, surrounded by friends and loved ones. This man was in the middle of a war as well, and right now amongst men he had to act the cool professional with. Maybe he was different, more relaxed when alone or with someone he truly cared about.

Aeris had not known Sephiroth before this, and could not claim that she knew him now, or what he was like in different company. But she was still willing to swear that this was not the same man Cloud had fallen in love with. It had been obvious from just one look at the spellcaster that morning.

The President eventually turned to talk with Hojo, leaving Sephiroth alone. Aeris made sure that the two were immersed in their conversation before she dared to turn to Sephiroth and touch his arm gently to get his attention. The general turned his head slightly in her direction and raised an eyebrow slightly.

"Yes?"

"How's Cloud?" she asked quietly. Hojo and the President continued talking, apparently oblivious to the quiet words, but Tseng's eyes turned slightly to them.

Sephiroth blinked at her for a while. "Why do you care?"

"He's a friend. I also know Zack. Is he somewhere here as well?"

Sephiroth let out a small humming noise. "I don't know about Zack. If he's here, he's in town. Cloud is at my tent at the moment. Resting, I'd guess."

"He was so devastated when we first met. He thought he'd lost you." Aeris said quietly, looking down at her hands.

"He did." Sephiroth commented. She turned immediately to look at him, to catch his expression, but he had turned his attention back to his plate. Aeris opened her mouth to say something but couldn't think of anything. Especially when she noticed Hojo staring at her, smirking a little. She leaned back in her chair with a sigh, worrying about his friends more than ever.

The food was certainly better than common army rations, but there still wasn't too much of it. The dinner was over thankfully soon. Sephiroth excused himself first, claiming he still had to check a few things before they could head off the following morning. A few soldiers came in again to clear the table while Hojo and President ShinRa retreated to one corner of the tent to continue their conversation.

Aeris headed back to her corner, anxious to get out and to find her friends. But all she could do was sit still and wait. Wait and hope.

To her surprise, Tseng approached her not too long after the soldiers had finally left. She looked up to his shadowy face when he stopped in front of her.

"How are you, Aeris?" the Turk asked quietly. Aeris gave him half a smile and shrugged.

"I'd feel much better if you'd let me go."

"I'm sorry. I can't do that."

"I know..."

Tseng lowered himself to one knee so that they could look at each other face to face. His features were dark with shadows of the light coming from behind him.

"Don't let Sephiroth's words or actions bother you. He's a cold and distant man."

"He used to be different. Or so I've been told." Aeris whispered. She didn't want to let him know just how much the general's coldness had disturbed her.

"He might have been, before Hojo. I've known him for a few months now, after he was brought to Midgar. I don't think he cares much for anything or anyone."

It was news to Aeris that Sephiroth had been in Midgar, but it made sense. The city was the heart of ShinRa's operations. She was about to comment on the Turk's reputation as such a heartless man as he had just described the general as, but held her tongue.

Tseng obviously had some feelings left, some kindness. He wouldn't have bothered with her if he hadn't felt something. So she just thanked him, and he soon stood up and went to stand with Hojo and the President.

As promised, Sephiroth had arranged them all private tents to sleep in. Since night was falling fast and they would have an early morning -Aeris still had no idea where exactly they were going to- they soon left the large tent for the smaller ones. Aeris's one was situated between Hojo's and Tseng's, and there were long lines of soldier's tents all around them. The President had a slightly larger tent in front of their three ones.

Tseng gave Aeris a warning look to stay in her tent the whole night. With the rows of sleeping men and the guards all around, she couldn't have made it far anyway, all alone in hostile territory. She wasn't naive enough to think that ShinRa soldiers would help her escape. No, she knew that they would catch her and bring her back. Probably after having some fun with her. So she just crawled into her tent and zipped the flaps closed tight.

* * *

Sephiroth had been gone most of the day after returning him to the tent, and Cloud had taken it as a chance to get some much-needed sleep. He had started awake at every noise outside, but at least he'd gotten some rest. Once he finally woke up enough to stay awake in the late afternoon, he was feeling a little more like a human being again.

A human being in grave need of a bath, or at least a quick shower and clean clothes. And food. Definitely some food. Preferably a lot of it.

The last few days were a blur in his memory. Not like the last year was crystal clear in his mind, but everything since he'd woken up yesterday before the battle –was it really only yesterday?- seemed completely unreal. Wutai had lost. Godo was dead. Sephiroth was back from the dead. And angry. Now even Aeris was here. And Hojo. Summons, Hojo was here. He'd barely noticed the man in the morning, but now his presence was causing him almost as much distress as Sephiroth's anger. He'd thought he'd killed Hojo last year.

He'd thought he'd killed Sephiroth as well.

It would have been easier, and kinder to all, if he had really managed to kill both. Maybe he couldn't have lived with that for long himself, but Cloud couldn't help feeling that none of this would have happened if he'd just made sure Hojo and Sephiroth were truly dead.

The thought of Sephiroth dead in his arms still made him choke. Yes, he should have made sure they were dead, and then killed himself as well. ShinRa wouldn't have attacked Wutai again without Sephiroth and Hojo, at least not this soon. Zack would have been out of the harm's way, and Aeris could have lived happily with her mother. Those two might not have met then, but they'd be better off never living through this.

Now everyone had to suffer because he was such a failure.

No wonder Sephiroth hated him so much. Aeris and Zack would, too, if they only knew him better.

Trapped in ever darkening thoughts and self-loathing, time before Sephiroth's return passed quickly despite hunger, fatigue and the need to bathe. It must have been evening already when the flap door of the tent was opened, and the general stepped inside. Cloud stiffened immediately even though Sephiroth didn't even look at him as he walked inside and to his table, reading a paper he had in his hand. The spellcaster just stared at him, not daring to move or say anything.

"Take your clothes off." Sephiroth suddenly said after a long silence, his eyes still on the paper. Cloud hesitated, but not for long. He stood with shaky knees and started to undress, feeling ashamed even though no one was watching. Not even Sephiroth.

Once he was naked, he moved to sit back down on the cot, but green eyes turned to him then, nailing him to the spot.

"Did I say you could sit down?"

Cloud shook his head and remained standing, shivering slightly. The ground beneath his bare feet was cold, and since the sun had gone down a while ago the air wasn't much warmer anymore either.

"Was it nice to see your friend again?" the general asked, eyes back on the report. Cloud frowned, not understanding what he had meant for a long moment.

"Oh. You mean Aeris?" No reaction from Sephiroth. "I guess so. Why is she here?"

Now Sephiroth turned to look at him again, and even raised an eyebrow. "She is the last Ancient. What do you think?" It was a question, but he didn't stop to wait for an answer. "She was asking about you, and Zack. I had no idea you all knew each other."

From the following silence Cloud figured he was expected to say something. "I went to Midgar after... after... we met there. Zack came looking for me, and we left together. She and Zack are in love, I guess." He smiled a little at the memory of those two together. An amused snort from Sephiroth wiped the smile from his face. He had thought the general would be happy for his friend, but he didn't seem to be.

"Love is an illusion. He'll soon wake from it. See the truth. It's all lies."

"Don't... don't say that..." Cloud whispered. "They're happy together."

Another snort. "You're one to talk."

"Sephiroth..." Cloud was sobbing, trying to figure out how he could assure the older man of his love and how true it was. How much losing him had hurt. But Sephiroth didn't seem to care. He finally put the paper on the table and started to strip out of his clothes.

"It doesn't really matter what they feel for each other. As soon as we're done here, Hojo will have her. He has great plans for us, to create the race of the Ancients again. She is the last of her line, and I am the only one on this Planet besides her who comes close to what they were."

Cloud stared at him with his mouth open as he processed the words he'd just heard. "You... do you mean... you and Aeris... are you going to have children?"

Sephiroth clapped his hands lazily three times. "Bravo. So you do understand what you hear. Your mother must be so proud."

"But..." Cloud stuttered, tears running down his face, falling on his naked chest. "Sephiroth... she loves Zack. And I love you..."

"Ah. I should have known not to give you too much credit. So let me repeat. Love is an illusion. She and I will change the world. Zack will understand, he's a smart man. And what you feel won't matter. After I'm through with you, I'll hand you over to Hojo. I'm sure he'll take good enough care of you so you won't have to worry about such petty things as 'love'."

Sephiroth was completely naked now, and walking towards him while still speaking. Cloud attempted to speak, to say anything, but no noise came out of his throat. Not even when Sephiroth was standing next to him, running a cool hand over his trembling chest and another down his neck. The general leaned down to nibble on his neck but the spellcaster just stared ahead in shock. Even when he was roughly pushed onto the bed he was unable to protest or make any kind of noise.

.

* * *

**A.N.:** I'm sorry for the lateness. I was away from my computer for a week, then had to reinstall Windows and every damn program I want to use. Then I hit some sorta existential crisis. Now everything's working, more or less, and here's the new chapter. And it's still September, so I don't fail completely! The next one most likely won't be out on the 7th. I finally decide on a schedule and then fudge it up right away. Bah. Within October, though!

I'm not all that fond of this chapter… wanna let me know how you feel about it? Leave a review, please? -puppy eyes- While writing this one, I managed to completely confuse myself with what day people were living in and where. Gahh. Just to make it clear, conquering the HQ has happened within one day, so they're a bit behind from Wutai.

Thank you for all the reviews, hope you guys will stick with me until the end. Not that many chapters to go.


	19. Chapter 15: Following

I still own nothing of what you're about to read. I do hope you'll like it. I'm a bit unsure about some parts…

Thank you so much for the lovely reviews, people. Really, if I could, I would hug all of you. And give cookies. Hee.

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* * *

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**Chapter Fifteen**

**Following**

**.  
**

Tseng had come to wake her up at the crack of dawn. At that point Aeris had been up for a few hours already. She'd just lied in her sleeping bag, eyes closed, fingers tracing circles and curves on the ground beyond the hard mattress she'd slept on. The ground had been humming in her head all night long, speaking quietly and singing.

During that one night she'd learned more of the world and life on it than in the years she'd spent listening to the quiet whisperings at the church back in Midgar. And after just one night she didn't think she'd be able to go back to anything less ever again.

Even with her head buzzing with the information and thoughts of the Planet, the morning was too soon in coming, and she got up reluctantly when Tseng came to wake her for the second time, informing her that if she wasn't out in a minute, Hojo had promised to come and wake her up. So Aeris forced herself up and moving, and was out of the tent within the minute.

Sun was already rising behind them when they left the tent they'd had a quick breakfast in. The President and Hojo were again talking quietly, whereas Tseng and Aeris were just following them silently as a few Soldiers lead them through the camp. Aeris was too distracted to ask where they were going, and the Turk had to grab her arm to stop her once they reached the edge of the ShinRa camp. A military truck was waiting there, one of the kind with a cab and an open bed at the back for about dozen troopers to sit in. The cab had no roof either.

One of the Soldiers opened the back hatch and offered to help Aeris in.

"Where are we going?" she asked Tseng, not moving towards the Soldier who was looking at her, his head cocked to the side, waiting to help her up to the bed which was almost as high as she was tall.

"Get in the truck, Aeris. Don't worry." was all that the Turk told her as he headed for the truck himself.

Tseng jumped in easily and helped pull the flower girl up when the Soldier gave her a push up. Aeris glared at the grinning man over her shoulder once she was up, sure that he really didn't have to squeeze her bottom like that to help her up.

Hojo was assisted up next, and the scientist immediately went for a seat right behind the cab. The hard benches circled three sides of the bed, leaving only the back hatch free. Aeris looked around and went to sit as far from Hojo as she could, near the hatch. Tseng took a seat across the bed from her.

"Is the HQ completely lost?" Hojo suddenly asked Tseng, and the Turk nodded. Aeris's eyes flew open at that; she'd heard the men speak of the slum dwellers who had stormed the building when they had left so suddenly, but she had thought they wouldn't get far.

"According to Elena's report, yes. The rebels got all the way to the President's office."

"Hmh. They better not break anything in my laboratory."

"There is no reason to be concerned. Troops are already being sent back to Midgar, and they shall have the matter under control by the time we return." Tseng explained and glanced quickly around him to see no one was listening to them. "In my opinion, this mess could have been avoided if we hadn't sent all the Soldiers and normal troops over here at once. Wutai could have been conquered with fewer men."

Hojo shrugged. "Send over just enough men to win, the Wutaians would have put up a much fiercer fight. This way it was clear from the beginning there was no way for them to win this battle."

"I agree, but leaving just a few dozen Soldiers or maybe a platoon of troopers behind would not have made a difference here. In Midgar, they would have kept the HQ." Tseng muttered, apparently not realizing that Aeris could hear every word. Or then he just didn't care.

"The President is not the smartest of strategists, but he does pay us…" Hojo said, and the conversation ended. Aeris was surprised, and also glad to find that the people of the slums were not the only ones to question their 'leader'.

The man himself was talking with a few Soldiers as Aeris spotted Sephiroth coming towards them, pulling a stumbling Cloud with him again. The general stopped in front of the President to bow and exchange a few words. He then walked to the hatch, swiftly grabbed Cloud around his upper arms and lifted him into the back like we weighed little more than a kitten. The spellcaster yelped and lost his balance when Sephiroth as swiftly let go of him. Aeris could hear Hojo snort as they watched the young man stumble. She wanted to go to his aid but a quick look from Tseng stopped her. She frowned at him and was about to get up again when Sephiroth jumped in, grabbed Cloud's arm and pulled him up. The general went to sit near to Hojo and dropped the spellcaster onto the floor. Cloud pulled himself up to a better position but remained on the floor, near Sephiroth's legs.

"Good morning." Sephiroth said quietly, but his voice still reached everyone. Aeris shivered when those cold eyes lingered on her for a while. Tseng returned the greeting, Hojo just snorted. Aeris stammered out an answer as well, and was slightly taken back when Cloud suddenly looked up at her with hatred in his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. She was about to ask what was wrong when the Soldiers banged the hatch shut, making her jump in surprise. One of them climbed into the driver's seat and started the truck while the President and a second Soldier climbed in to the cab.

"Hold on!" The President called out and laughed as the truck started to move. Aeris had to do so with both hands, the ride was bumpy as they headed off to their destination.

* * *

Despite the smell and the horrible feel of corpses around him, it had been near midnight when Zack had finally climbed out of the moat and towards nearby trees where he could hide if someone came to the area. The aches in his back were surpassed only by the pain in his wound every time he moved. He'd known he would be in a lot of pain if he went through with his plan, but he'd hoped that it wouldn't be this bad.

Not like he could back down now. He was fairly sure he'd be greeted with bullets and swords if he crawled back to town. And since he'd be no help to anyone just hiding in the forest, he might as well head out and try to do what he got out here to do!

…even though he had no food, no water and, most importantly, no weapon whatsoever.

From the information Lady Meriko had gotten him, and what the ShinRa soldier had told Deren last night, he knew that Sephiroth and some big shots were moving out in the morning, towards some mountains. And if the soldiers had to keep such a close eye on the town, he'd figured out that the mountains that had been mentioned were the Da Chao –mountains just outside the town. He'd been there once last summer, when he'd still been searching for Cloud and Sephiroth. The thought made him chuckle. Why was it that no matter what happened, he was always searching for those two?

Da Chao weren't your normal mountains, he'd known that from his first look at them. For one, they weren't all that high, nowhere near as high as the other mountains on the island. And two, during long years, centuries probably, the people of Wutai had carved most of the mountainside towards the town into human shapes. Faces grimacing and shouting, hands reaching out or pointing. And they weren't the sizes of statues he'd seen in a few churches; no, these buggers were huge. Fingers as long as he was tall, eyes as big as his head, mouths big enough to hide in. Walking there among those gigantic people had been enough to distract him from the frustration that had been his constant companion ever since the two Peacemakers had disappeared.

Once he'd gotten to the relative cover of the trees he'd dared to rest for a while, to close his eyes. He was high-strung enough that he snapped awake at every sound around him, but he managed to catch enough rest to pull himself to a standing position when the sun came up. He was maybe a mile away from Da Chao, but he would need all the time he could get to drag his sorry rump there. Not to mention actually getting anywhere_ up_ the mountain. That would be fun. That would be really fun.

About an hour into the trip he'd managed to find a fallen branch straight and sturdy enough that he could use it as a crutch. It helped him put some of the weight off his injury and walk a bit faster. Still, he was practically bathing in sweat all of the time, cursing because he had no food or water. But he hadn't managed to figure out a way to take either with him from the hospital since the only ones who had them were the Wutaians who brought them food from large kettles and water from barrels. No way to take those with him while playing dead. Luckily he'd grown up in Gongaga, where the town had been surrounded by untamed nature; he recognized enough of the plants around him to know which he could eat. Small streams here and there supplied a little water, even though getting down to drink from them was very tricky. Getting up from the small stream once he'd lost his delicate balance and fallen in face first was even trickier.

"Some help I am…" Zack muttered to himself a few moments later, hair still dripping with water as he limped on, leaning heavily on his crutch. "Near drowning in a damn puddle! How am I supposed to be able to help anyone when two inches of water nearly got the better of me?" He rolled his violet eyes up towards the sky, to address the Summons he could imagine laughing at him. "You thought that was pretty darn funny, didn't you? Bastards."

At least his wet hair kept his head nice and cool in the warm spring sun, even when the cool winds around him made him shiver with cold.

* * *

They had been driving for about two hours when Aeris finally received some answers to her questions.

The President had made them stop a few times so that he could get out of the truck and look around over 'his conquered land'. One of the Soldiers went out with him to make sure no one would try to attack from behind bushes or from a nearby forest. The others stayed in the truck, even though Tseng followed his boss with his eyes, gun ready to take care of trouble.

After two hours of driving and stopping and driving, they stopped again near the start of a line of mountains. This time Tseng followed the President and the Soldier since there were so many places for the enemy to hide.

"Not again…" Aeris had muttered when the familiar sound of President ShinRa ordering the truck to stop had been heard. She watched over her shoulder as the three men walked towards the mountains. This would take a while.

Sephiroth was also following the trio with his eyes, and Cloud was sitting by his feet, looking paler than before. Aeris had noticed him looking pained several times during the trip because of his motion sickness, but the spellcaster had refused to make a sound. Now that the truck was still he gave her a brief glare again.

She caught his eyes and refused to let go. "Cloud? What's the matter?"

He still refused to speak and turned away. Aeris decided to try another approach. "Is Zack here with you? Is he somewhere in Wutai?"

Cloud turned to her now, not with a glare but a horribly vicious look in his eyes. "Yes. But I don't know where he is. He might even be dead." He nearly spat the last word at her.

Aeris's hand flew to her mouth with horror and tears came to her eyes. The land had assured her earlier that Zack was still alive, and it had no reason to lie to her.

But then again, she had thought that Cloud wouldn't lie to her either. Or have a reason to be so cruel. The spellcaster was smirking a little at her horror. That ugly look on his tired, twisted face was enough to make Aeris turn away from him altogether. Cloud leaned back a little, satisfied. It seemed he wouldn't try to help her against Hojo, the President and their plans. She was alone again.

Hojo was chuckling quietly at them.

"Where are we going?" she asked the professor after a moment to regain her composure. Maybe she might get an answer now that Tseng wasn't here 'protecting' her.

Hojo, surprisingly, opened his mouth to answer her even though his eyes never left his notes. "We are going to the Da Chao mountains near the capital of the island."

"Why?" Aeris asked, noticing that Cloud seemed to be listening more closely now as well.

Hojo snorted with amusement and looked up at her. "Why? So that you can take us to the Promised Land, of course. After all, you are the only one who can open the way for the rest of us."

"I've told you, the President and Tseng several times that I can't…" Aeris started but fell quiet when Hojo dug something out of his pocket and lifted it high for everyone to see. Even Sephiroth turned to see.

"What is that?" Aeris asked as she stared at the small thing between Hojo's thumb and index finger. It was small and round, a piece of Materia clearly. But it was completely white. First she thought that the bright sunlight was playing tricks on her and it merely looked white, but a closer look proved it.

"The White Materia, of course." Hojo said with a tone that said that the answer should be obvious.

"I can see that." Aeris's answer was slightly irritated. Hojo smirked at her and turned to Sephiroth.

"Why don't you explain it to her? You should, after all, get better acquainted."

Sephiroth nodded and Cloud glared at her again, so much hatred in his eyes. Aeris couldn't understand it, and knew now that she wasn't likely to get any answers from him.

The general looked over to where the President and the two other men were still walking before turning to Aeris. "You are the last Ancient, even though your father was a human. Therefore you have the power to open the way to the Promised Land by summoning the power of the White Materia."

Aeris's mouth fell open at the words. Were they all crazy? Where did such distorted beliefs in the Promised Land come from? Sephiroth sounded like he truly believed what he said. Hojo and the President apparently believed the very same thing.

"It's all in here…" Hojo said and waved his notes a little, "written down word from word from your own mother's mouth."

"My… mother." Aeris whispered. Her real mother, of course. Not Elmyra. No, the woman who had given birth to her. The last true Ancient.

Why would she lie like this?

Aeris didn't have many clear memories of the woman, and most of the knowledge she had of her ancestors she'd learned just now, through the Planet. All of it was completely different from what her mother had allegedly told Hojo.

Promised Land was, to put it in simple terms, an afterlife. Not a land where she could take someone to. Not like these men believed. Not like her mother had told them.

But why would she lie?

"It was disappointing when she died. It meant that we had to wait for you to grow up to your full power, like you are now." Hojo was talking again. "It was possible that she was lying, that you could have opened the way as a child already, but since you were the last specimen, we didn't dare to risk it. It was smarter to wait a few years than to find out that she was telling the truth, and lose our chances for ever."

"I've been to the Da Chao mountains several times since I was a child." Sephiroth continued when Hojo fell silent. "There are several caves there. The most famous is the cave of fire, where a fire from the core of the Planet itself burns, and will burn until the core cools down and the Planet dies. But there are other caves. One of them is clearly the pathway to the Promised Land."

Aeris decided to remain quiet. These two wouldn't believe her, not when they were so adamant with their own ideas. And her mother must have had a reason to lie. Maybe it had been to protect her, if it had been her words that had kept ShinRa from capturing her before this. Aeris had never heard of the White Materia before, but she was starting to think that what it did wouldn't be what Hojo and the others thought either.

If her mother had lied to keep her safe, she wouldn't spoil it by forcing the truth on the enemy.

The conversation died after that, and they waited in silence for the three men to return. Once they were back in the truck, the journey continued.

* * *

Zack was quite proud of the progress he'd made. Considering that he was injured, hurting, limping and slightly feverish, he thought he'd reached the Da Chao mountains in very good time. So he decided to give himself a break once he reached the mountainside. The rocky earth felt surprisingly soft underneath his hurting muscles.

"Right. The fun part is over…" the fighter muttered as he looked up at the huge faces, torsos and hands of the mountainside. He really was not looking forward to climbing it, and was debating whether it would be better to remain down here, or on a relatively low level. After all, he didn't know where in the mountains Sephiroth and the others would be heading to.

On the other hand, he'd have a better view from up high. And he supposed it would be easier and quicker to climb down the paths than up.

But then again, there was no way he was climbing all the way up there.

In the end he decided to climb about one third or halfway up and find a place where he could both hide and keep an eye on his surroundings.

He hadn't paid much attention to anything but the path last time he'd climbed the Da Chao, so this time he had to peer around every corner, under every hand and behind every torso he could reach without too much trouble. Last year he had been preoccupied with trying to think where else to look for the disappeared two. Only after he'd reached the top he'd stopped to look around, and the view had taken his breath away.

It had been a clear day, just like this one, but a lot warmer. The sky had been free of clouds, reaching all around him, from one horizon to the next. Wutai had spread around underneath him, and even though the mountains weren't very high, they were the only ones nearby, and the view of the island capital had been perfect. The beautiful houses and labyrinths of pathways had looked like a miniature city, the people moving around little more than tiny spots. And the sea to the west! Deep blue and sparkling with the sunlight, an endless stretch of blue which merged with the clear sky somewhere far, far away. It had made him forget his troubles for a while as he'd enjoyed the cool wind, the hot sun and the gorgeous view.

This time he had no time to admire the view, and since he was still lower than the tops of the nearby trees he wouldn't have seen anything besides the deep greens and browns of the pine trees. He'd have to climb higher. Too bad, since he'd found a good spot for hiding. He could see the ground level where the paths started, but not much more.

With a sigh he grabbed his crutch and got back on the path.

The sun was nearing its zenith when he reached a spot high enough that he could see over the tree tops. Groaning, swearing, sweaty and dizzy, Zack stopped once he reached the shoulder of the largest body carved into the mountain. Looking up, he figured that if he'd be able to reach its hat, he'd be able to see just about everything. He would be higher than he had intended, as the hat reached nearly the top of the mountain, but it was the best spot for hiding. The hat had a high, smooth wall circling around a dome in the middle, and he could easily hide between the wall and the dome.

It took him near an hour to climb around the head to its back, and over the wall. The narrow area between the wall and the dome was half full of twigs and pebbles, but he managed to make his way to the front where a dip in the wall the shape of half a circle gave him the perfect spot to watch the world beneath him.

The view was even better than last time! Maybe because he'd had to work so hard to reach it, Zack mused, and rubbed very carefully at his aching back. In the north he could see the roof of the Pagoda of Five Gods. The other houses were smaller and he couldn't see much of them from behind the trees, but he could see a few tendrils of smoke climbing lazily towards the sky.

His view to the east was almost perfect, Zack found to his relief. He could see anyone approaching from the direction he knew ShinRa's camp was in. And, indeed, he thought there was something coming towards the mountain. Frowning and shielding his eyes from the sun above, he tried to get a better look.

The sun near blinded him when it hit a reflecting surface of the object that was coming towards Da Chao. As it came closer Zack thought he could make out the shape of an army truck. His feverish mind cleared immediately as he realized that this was it.

Sephiroth and the others were coming.

* * *

Sephiroth had stood up once the truck started to slow down as the terrain got unsteady. He looked around for a long while, his eyes sweeping their surroundings. "We're almost there." The general announced as he turned back towards the others.

Both Aeris and Tseng leaned over the truck's sides to see better, and Aeris's mouth fell open as she caught her first glimpse of Da Chao mountains. Elmyra had read her husband's letters to her when she had been a child, and he had once described these sacred mountains very carefully. But the words had nothing on the actual sight.

"That's amazing!" Aeris exclaimed as she turned on the bench to get a better look. When she turned back she noticed that Sephiroth was staring at her. She felt herself blush a little under such close scrutiny, but before she could ask what he wanted the general opened his mouth again.

"They are the Five Gods of Wutai. Or, to be more precise, they were. Now there are only four on the mountainside. One collapsed from waist up in an earthquake long ago. Only his hands and belts remain."

Her eyes were on his, the green of them was certainly mesmerizing. But from the corner of her eye Aeris saw Hojo smirking as he looked first up at Sephiroth and then at her.

Aeris started and even Sephiroth took half a step back when Cloud suddenly stood up between them, his back towards the general and his eyes glaring at Aeris. Tseng half stood up from his seat, watching the blond carefully with his gun in hand.

"Cloud, what is it?" Aeris asked. She reached out a hand for him but he just slapped it away and turned to Sephiroth.

"I won't allow it!" The spellcaster shouted. Sephiroth let out a sigh and turned back to where they were heading. Hojo laughed. "Never, you hear me? I won't!"

"You think you have any say in this? Boy, you don't even have a say in your own life anymore. Sit down and stop being such a drama queen."

Cloud, enraged, turned to Hojo, his hands in fists. Tseng was up by then, pointing his gun at the spellcaster.

"Sit."

The blond sat down with an angry snarl and crossed his arms over his chest. Aeris moved closer to him on the bench but that just earned her another angry glare.

"Cloud, why are you so angry? Have I done something to upset you?" she asked quietly, trying to reach his eyes.

"You can't have him!" Cloud nearly barked at her, and Aeris sat up straight, completely baffled. Sephiroth turned enough to slap the spellcaster in the back of his head and tell him to shut up. Hojo was clearly enjoying every moment of it.

"Have who? Zack?" she asked, trying to piece together a meaning from this madness. Why couldn't someone just give her a straight answer?

"Zack is dead!" Cloud screamed at her.

"He is not!" Aeris shot back, angry because the spellcaster seemed to only want to hurt her. "What's wrong with you, Cloud?"

"You can't-" Cloud started again but his words were cut off sharply when Sephiroth turned again and caught a fistful of his hair, tugging viciously.

"Shut up, or I'll turn you over to Hojo right now. You don't mean that much to me."

Aeris's mouth fell open at the cruel words and the nonchalant tone they were delivered with, and she felt tears in her own eyes as well when Cloud started to cry. Sephiroth released him and the blond collapsed on the floor of the truck, bruising his cheek against the hard wooden surface. Aeris was instinctively up from her seat, all hurtful words between them forgotten, ready to comfort her friend. But Sephiroth's hand on her shoulder stopped her.

"Don't touch him. He's not pure. You shouldn't bother yourself with his kind." The general said quietly but clearly. Aeris wanted to slap him, but then realization hit her.

'You can't have him', Cloud had said.

'His Jenova-genes, and your Ancient heritage', Hojo had ranted about his own project, the one he would commence as soon as the way to the Promised Land was open.

They couldn't mean… Hojo didn't intend to…

Aeris took stumbling steps backwards, shaking her head.

"Ah. She got it." Hojo said, twirling his left index finger in the air. "Jubilations."

Sephiroth chuckled and cocked his head a little as he looked at her. Cloud continued to weep at their feet.

"It won't be so bad. I promise. I can be gentle." The general said as his smile turned into a smirk and he shrugged. "Ask Cloud. He should know."

Aeris continued to stare at them in shock, her mouth hanging open, and she almost lost her balance when the truck stopped. It would have landed her right into Sephiroth's open arms, her feet stumbling over Cloud.

"And we're here!" the President announced happily.

* * *

"Hey Ma, you gotta guess where I am!"

Vincent rolled his eyes as he leaned against the huge desk in the presidential office. They had turned it back upright once the three ShinRa executives had been taken to the prison cells a few floors down. Barret and his friends had left to make sure that the building was secured. That left Cid and Vincent up in the office, all alone.

And Cid, being Cid, had picked up the President's telephone and started calling long distance.

"Oh come on, would I really call you if I were in prison? Naw, this's even better than that!"

Conquering the HQ was clearly a victory: ShinRa was not invincible. But it felt like the hard part was just beginning.

Vincent looked up at the high ceiling and wondered what they really could do now. Could they keep the ShinRa HQ? Not likely, not if the President ordered his Soldiers back to Midgar. Could they stop the reactors? Maybe, but only as long as they could keep the HQ. And what good could it do? People would lose their jobs, or at least their pay checks for the time when the reactors weren't running. How would they power up Midgar and other cities without the Mako energy? They would need other energy options. Sure it would be better for the Planet if Mako was no longer used, but the gothic man suspected people, being people, wouldn't react too well to the loss of electricity and all the luxuries.

"I'm at the top of the world, Ma!"

It all pretty much came down to the President. Another man would maybe consider using something else for power than Mako, but not this one. They needed to get a smarter man to lead the company, someone with more open views. But where would they find such a man -or woman- and how the hell would they get him into this office?

"Yeah, that's us!" Cid laughed and turned to his lover. "Ya hear that, Vin? We're in the news, all over the world! Fuck yeah!" he turned back to the telephone while Vincent sighed and rubbed at his eyes.

"Who, Vin? My boyfriend!"

Vincent opened his eyes at the same second when the phone was shoved to his face. "Say hi to my Ma, Vinnie!"

"... Hi?" Vincent managed the quick greeting before the phone was taken away again. Cid walked towards the balcony surrounding the whole floor, still babbling on excitedly.

"Watch out for snipers." The dark-haired man called out after the blond, mostly just to mess with him.

This was way over his head. Probably even more so over Cid's. What did they know about governments and revolutions? Barret and his friends would probably know more about what they could do. And the man called Reeve seemed smart and civil enough to be of some help. Maybe they could do something. But he wasn't about to hold his breath.

Cid came back to him a few minutes later and tossed the telephone back onto the desk. The blond came to stand right next to him, smelling of alcohol old and new, sweat, gunpowder and blood. Vincent breathed the scent in deep and closed his eyes as two rough hands wrapped around his waist and pulled him even closer.

"What do we do now?" the liquor-store clerk asked quietly.

"Honeybunny..." Cid growled into his ear. His three-day stubble brushed against Vincent's cheek as he grinned. "We're at the top of the fucking world. We're the main news item. We've just taken over ShinRa. What the hell do you _think_ we do?"

Vincent smiled. He had meant the question on a rather different level, but why complain? He knew it wasn't a stick of dynamite Cid was rubbing against his hip.

"The desk or the carpet?"

Cid pulled away a little to give both items scrutinizing looks. "Aw hell, I think we can manage both."

"Mmm. I think so too." Vincent muttered and kissed his lover.

They would figure something out. For the world, as well.

* * *

The truck had stopped a few hundred yards away from the beginning of the path up, so Zack had managed to watch as the small group walked towards him, several dozen feet below. He had stopped breathing from sheer shock when he had recognized Sephiroth. It couldn't have been anyone else, not with the rumours about his return. Not with that hair. It flowed with the wind like a banner, twinkling in the sun like the lazy waves of the sea. Still, it had been a shock to see him.

The fighter did giggle a little at the poetic thoughts, and made a mental note to apply this creative streak of his to wooing Aeris. If he got out of here alive, managed to make his way to Midgar, and get her out of ShinRa's hands. So maybe he should apply this creative streak to accomplishing that, first.

Thinking how in the world he'd manage to rescue her was the second thing that had kept him walking. First being, of course, what would happen at Da Chao and what he could do there. On his more optimistic moments he had hoped that he and Cloud would be able to turn Sephiroth back, away from ShinRa. The three of them together could take down Midgar to save Aeris, no problem. They could enlist Cid and Vincent to help them, and he was pretty sure that there were a whole bunch of people in the Midgar slums who would be only too happy to lend a helping hand as well.

His darker thoughts created a scenario where Sephiroth was too far gone for anyone to reach him. That would kill Cloud, he just knew it. Then it would be just him left, against his old friend.

Of course that would _not_ happen.

"I just have to keep thinking that and the world will have n choice but think so too…" the fighter muttered to himself, not for the first time as he watched the small group approach. So far Sephiroth was the only one he could recognize. There were six others with him, and he was hoping that the blond walking near his old friend was Cloud. Not like many people had that mess of hair.

As they got closer he thought he recognized President ShinRa himself, from pictures he'd seen in newspapers and television. One man had black hair and a long white coat. He looked too much like Hojo to Zack's liking. Cloud had said that he'd killed the man, and Zack had only seen the one photo of him, so he couldn't swear on his guess. But hey. Sephiroth was back. It wouldn't surprise him if Hojo was, too.

One man in a Turk's uniform, maybe one of the four they had met in Midgar. Damned if he remembered their names, thought. One man in a Soldier's uniform, and one in normal trooper gear.

Worst case scenario: seven against one.

Best case scenario: three against five. But how he and Cloud would get Sephiroth's head screwed on straight while the others were there, Zack had no idea.

"I'm just gonna have to improvise…" he muttered. For some reason, those words from his mouth had always seemed to make people around him twitchy. Even Jammy used to take a few steps away from him.

Zack rolled onto his back and closed his eyes for a moment, breathing as deep and as calmly as he could manage. He was tired, hurting and hungry, none of which were conductive to improvising, fighting or anything but basic survival. To top that, he was also running a fever.

"I'm a complete fucking moron…" Zack muttered and rubbed at his aching eyes. He shook his head to clear it and turned back onto his stomach, grimacing at the snapping twigs beneath him. A look over the wall told him that the small group beneath him had reached the path, and were starting to climb it.

Zack forced himself into a small crouch and sneaked around the hat for a better perch. With his trusted crutch in hand he knelt down to watch and wait.

* * *

Sephiroth was leading the way up the path, Aeris right behind him. The President and Hojo followed them. Cloud and Tseng came next, the Turk was now dragging the spellcaster along, and the Soldier walked last. The other Soldier had stayed back to keep an eye on the truck.

The President had suddenly come up with the idea that he wanted to go to see the conquered capital of Wutai, but Tseng had managed to talk him out of it by mentioning that the town wasn't secure enough yet. So they'd stuck with the original plan, and Sephiroth was showing the way to the caves he'd mentioned earlier. She could feel the ancient power running through the mountain's veins underneath the hard skin of stone. To think that she'd spent so many years in Midgar when there was so much vibrant energy here. She and mother could have left and come here, or anywhere, if she hadn't insisted on staying near the church. But she didn't feel that the years of spreading a little colour to the slums had been wasted. And maybe ShinRa would have gotten more serious about catching her if she'd attempted to leave.

And if they had left, she'd never met Cloud and Zack. Despite all the trouble those two had brought along, she didn't want to imagine a life without them anymore. It was painful now to see her friend suffer like this and not be able to do anything, since Cloud wouldn't let her near him. She had no intention of allowing Hojo to use her for his plans or of letting this new Sephiroth anywhere near her. She wanted to tell the spellcaster that, but Cloud seemed to be far beyond reason, angry that she meant more to the man he loved than he did. She thought it horrible, she and Sephiroth didn't know each other at all and he still valued her more than he did Cloud. It disgusted her, the way the general treated the man who loved him, and she wanted nothing to do with him.

Sephiroth told her of Wutai's history as they walked, about the village nearby, the mountains, where he had grown up; small talk to make the climbing not seem such a drag. Every time Aeris looked over her shoulder at Cloud she could see the yearning in his eyes. All the spellcaster wanted was to be in her place, walking next to the tall man, being the one he talked to, even when the one-sided conversation was purely casual and lacking in emotion. And since Cloud couldn't hate the man he loved, he hated her for it.

The early spring morning had been chilly, and despite the sun above them the ride had been a cool one as well. But here the weather was calm, and the higher they got the warmer it seemed to become. The sun was shining from a clear blue sky, and the stone beneath their feet was surprisingly warm.

"The fire inside the mountains keeps them warm even in the winter, so there's rarely any snow up here." Sephiroth suddenly said as if he'd read her thoughts. Aeris looked up just as he stopped and pointed to their left, past a large head with its eyes closed. "Down that path are the most famous fire caves. And there," now he pointed to their right as everyone stopped to listen, "is where we're going."

Their eyes followed his pointing hand to a larger hand, one that had half collapsed during the centuries it had stood against the weather. It went past another large man's torso, and stopped at his raised hand. Past that, Aeris thought she could see a dark opening in the stone wall. She started when Sephiroth suddenly took her hand and started to walk again, towards the cave. She could hear the President talking excitedly behind her, and a glance over her shoulder showed her what she had expected to see: Cloud glaring at her from Tseng's side.

* * *

The good news was, he wouldn't have to walk far. Zack sighed with relief, as much as he could without hurting himself. He leaned against the hat's dome and relaxed for a moment. He couldn't go limping after them straight away, they'd notice him. Sephiroth had been kind enough to stand just below him when he'd explained where they were going, so he wasn't too worried about losing them after he'd watched the small group balance their way across the arm. He'd watched as Sephiroth and the small trooper they had with them had gone first to see the exact path they were taking. Once the silver-haired man had reached the mouth of the cave he'd turned around to see that everyone else got there safely, and Zack had hidden himself so that he wouldn't be spotted.

He'd still have to get down from the hat and across that arm. And those turned out to be the easy part as soon as he reached the tips of the large fingers. Sephiroth and his merry little group had disappeared into the mouth of the cave less than ten yards from where he was standing a good while ago. 'Easy for them to do,' Zack thought to himself, 'none of them has to get over _that_ with a crutch!'

'That' would be the fact that he'd have to climb off the hand and onto the large man's chest to get past the raised stone hand to the cave. From his perch in the hat he hadn't been able to see the gap which Sephiroth had crossed so easily. And looking at it, it wouldn't really be a problem, the stone chest was uneven enough to give a good foothold.

The problem was his crutch; even if it kept him upright well enough, he wouldn't dare to put as much of his weight on it as was necessary on such terrain. The hard wooden stick could easily slip out from under him on the hard stone surface as it had already done on his way up, and then he'd be tumbling down the stone man until he hit the rugged stones far below. That would hurt. But he couldn't just leave the stick either, he would need it in the cave.

In the end he managed to shove the stick underneath his belt so that he carried it on his back as he crawled over the gap. He almost slipped several times before he reached the safety of the small plateau before the cave's mouth. Zack let himself collapse on it and just breathe while the world stopped spinning so fast.

"I must be out of my fucking mind…" he muttered to himself as he forced himself up to a sitting position. He still had no idea what exactly he could do once he reached the others. Neither did he know how far he'd still have to walk. Sephiroth could be right around the first bend in the cave, or miles away.

"Well, no use cryin' about it now…" Zack rose on his hands and knees and pulled his crutch out. Leaning on it he managed to stand on his annoyingly weak knees. Damn the healers, couldn't they have used the Cure-materia a bit more? Swearing at his nemesis under his breath the fighter took his first steps towards the cave mouth. When he realized that its roof was low enough that he would have to walk in a crouch, he started to sob a little.

* * *

The long trip in the back of the truck, the walk to the mountains, the climbing and balancing and crawling in tunnels. He'd ignored them all, no matter how his empty stomach had lurched during the uneven ride or how many times he'd scratched or bumped his knees, elbows and palms on stone. None of it mattered since all he could see was Sephiroth, and how he was holding Aeris's hand as he guided her through the tunnel that spiraled downwards into the bowels of the mountains. The air got hotter and hotter as they walked past several caves of fire. The flames burning behind stone walls seemed to fuel his anger and jealousy all the more.

He had hated himself so much when he'd remembered how Sephiroth had died in his arms. Despised himself even more when the man had returned and he'd realized how badly he had truly betrayed the one he had loved more than life itself. Hated himself for being so weak that all Aeris had to do was come along and he couldn't keep Sephiroth as his anymore.

But no matter how angry he was with himself, he loather _her_ more. She knew how much Sephiroth meant to him. She knew how much he had hurt. She knew what Zack felt for her. And still there she was, walking hand in hand with Sephiroth. He helped steady her every time she stumbled in her too large boots. He told her where they were going and how he had come here as a young boy, curious to see where this new cave would take him.

They had torches to light their way in the darkness of the earth around them. Tseng, walking either before or behind him carried one, but Cloud ignored its light to see where he was going. He had eyes only for Sephiroth. Therefore he didn't even notice when the stone walls around them started to take on a greenish hue which got brighter and brighter the deeper into the earth they walked. He only noticed it when the tunnel widened into a huge cave. The ground was a large puddle of glowing green which made the uneven roof above it twinkle and glow like stars in the night.

Cloud stopped dead in his tracks, feeling like he'd just fallen into Sephiroth's eyes. They were the exact same colour as this cave.

"We're here."

* * *

Aeris no longer wondered why these men thought they could enter their idea of the Promised Land here. The cave was full of the purest Lifestream. A large pool of it spread over most of the floor. She had felt it humming ever since they'd stepped into the cave.

And it was so beautiful! So vibrant, so full of power, so gentle but oh so strong.

"We're here." Sephiroth said and stopped, his hand around her arm pulling her to a standstill as well. Aeris barely noticed but turned around when Tseng let out a noise that was half surprised, half annoyed. Cloud had just collapsed beside him.

"Cloud!" Aeris moved to go to him but Sephiroth held her still.

"He's not worth it." The general said and only smiled a little when she pulled her arm free.

"You're horrible! I never want anything to do with you!" Aeris shouted at him and ran to her friend. Tseng stepped away from the spellcaster, towards his boss who was laughing.

"It's good that a woman has some spirit in her!" The President said to Hojo and Sephiroth.

"Indeed…" Sephiroth agreed before turning towards the pool again. Hojo and the President joined him in marveling at the sight.

"Don't go too near," Hojo instructed the others, "the Lifestream here is Mako in its purest form. To touch it is to lose oneself into it."

Aeris ignored them as she knelt beside her friend. Cloud's skin looked pale green. So did hers, she noticed. The blond seemed to be mostly all right despite being unconscious. Still, she let some of her healing power seep into him as she gently stroked his wild, dirty hair. It would give him strength, and maybe even make him think clearer again.

"What's wrong with him?" Tseng asked her quietly. Aeris looked up to the Turk, wondering if he really cared. But there was no malice in his eyes, like there never was when he had looked at her. Tseng might not have cared what was wrong with Cloud, but he was aware of how she felt for her friend.

"He seems fine. I think he just hasn't eaten or slept well." She told him, not bothering to lower her voice. Sephiroth looked over his shoulder at them, even gave Cloud a glance, but soon turned away.

"I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case." Tseng said and offered her a hand when she got up. There was no way for her to make Cloud more comfortable on the hard ground.

"What happens now?"

"I don't know, but I suggest you go along with what they say. The President is serious about this project, and I imagine he wouldn't hesitate to make me hurt you or your friend to make you do what he wants. I wouldn't like to hurt you, Aeris." Tseng's voice was quiet but honest.

"Thank you. I wouldn't like that much either." She smiled a little at him. "It's a shame we couldn't be friends."

"Yes, it is." Tseng bowed his head at her a little before turning to the others who were standing near the pool. The Soldier looked nervous about the whole affair, but the other three seemed to be very interested in the glowing Lifestream.

Aeris sighed in defeat when Hojo, Sephiroth and the President turned to them.

"Come here, Aeris." Sephiroth said with his commanding tone which had sent uncounted men to their deaths. He reached out a hand towards her, and she obeyed. Tseng followed a few steps behind her, giving her courage and some small comfort.

Hojo pulled out the White Materia again and eyed it in the dim glow of the Lifestream. When Aeris got near he lifted his other hand to stop her, and gave the Materia to her. "Here, President, we have the key to the Promised Land."

"Finally." The President laughed, clapping his hands. Tseng and Sephiroth stepped away a little as Aeris stared at the small, milky white marble-like sphere sitting on her palm. It was as small as any other piece of materia, and seemed completely harmless with its lack of colour.

"I don't know what to do with it." She finally said, lifting her eyes to Hojo who smirked condescendingly. He lifted his ever-present notes a little.

"You have to summon the White Materia's power, of course. According to your mother…" he lifted the notes up and opened them, reading from the paper as he continued, "using the White Materia will link its user to the Planet and the Lifestream, which we have here, and listen to the user's request to release its power. If the request is granted, the Materia will glow pale green. So we will know, from that, if you have succeeded. And…" a nod towards Tseng, "I would suggest you try your best. The Turks were fools enough to let your mother escape, but I think we can… persuade you in other ways."

Aeris's eyes went wide at the threat, and as she turned to watch the Turk walked back to Cloud who was still unconscious, and pulled out his gun.

"You wouldn't!" She protested, even though she knew that they would.

"Oh. I'll make sure to take care of him personally if you give us any trouble." Sephiroth said to convince her. He only smirked when she threw an angry glare his way. "We can't hurt you to convince you, but his life would not be a great loss."

"I would lose my test subject, but I am sure I could find another one…" Hojo mused, his smirk showing the same shark teeth as the general. Aeris let her eyes fall back to the materia in her hand again, fighting back tears of rage and futility.

"Will you leave him alone if I succeed?" she asked quietly.

"We'll see." Hojo answered, but she didn't really believe him. She wanted to run, but knew she wouldn't get far. Cloud would be killed, and she'd be forced to summon the power of the Materia. If she obeyed now, they would both be safe and alive a little longer, and maybe be able to escape.

She breathed deep a couple of times, knelt on the hard ground, and closed her eyes, keeping the White Materia between the palms of her hands. The hum of the Lifestream so close to her was almost deafening now when everyone was quiet and she could focus wholly on it. She let her mind open up to the spirits, welcoming the feeling of safety and truly belonging somewhere into her soul again. The spirits were glad to meet her, their sole heir on the Planet's surface, the only one left with their blood running in her veins. And she was glad to meet them, but didn't stop to familiarize herself with them this time. She needed to find someone.

She needed to find her mother, and fast. Not knowing what the White Materia would really do if she summoned its power, she had to find her mother and find out why the woman had lied to Hojo, and what the Materia would do.

She didn't even know her name, but her anxiety to find the woman spread into the consciousness of the Lifestream, passed on from Cetra to Cetra, soul to soul. Aeris could hear the men behind her mutter something, but ignored them. They didn't know how long the summoning would take; they wouldn't dare to hurry her. Still, she was getting desperate, spreading her mind wider, trying to reach further.

'No need to worry. I'm here, Aeris.'

A warm feeling, much like being held gently spread over her with the words. A small smile graced her lips as Aeris felt like a little child again, dozing off in her mother's arms.

'Oh I've missed you, my child.'

'I've missed you too, mother…' she thought she could feel tears run down her cheeks, but didn't care. It didn't matter what the men who just wanted to use her thought of her tears. She felt safe, apart from the cold, cruel world. Loved.

But she didn't dare to linger in that comfort for too long, and she suspected that her mother knew it as well. Pulling away from the embrace –just a little, though- she mentally straightened her back.

'Mother, I need you to tell me something.'

'Of course. I'll tell you everything.'

'First, though… what's your name, mother?'

Laughter and another hug. 'It's Ifalna.'

* * *

One more thing Zack discovered he should have brought along (had he been in any position to bring anything with him) was a torch. Or any kind of a source of light whatsoever. Sure, the fire caves here and there lighted his path momentarily, but they didn't warn him of all the sharp rocks both in the floor and the ceiling of the tunnel. He'd stumbled over or knocked his head on something more times than he could count before things started to get odd. First he thought the oddness was due to the amount of hits to the head he'd received. How could the tunnel glow green?

As the light got brighter and brighter –any light seemed bright in the dark tunnels- he started to suspect that it wasn't just his mind and eyes playing tricks on him. And when he started to hear voices soon after that, he realized he was getting near to Sephiroth and the others. The thought made him want to weep with pure joy. Instead he pulled his trusted stick to his side and leaned more on the wall to his left, to follow it towards the light and the voices. Trying to make as little noise as possible, he made his way down the last few yards of the tunnel before it spat him out into a large open cave.

There was Sephiroth, standing tall and proud near a pond of glowing green. Zack's stomach lurched at the sight; the man looked overwordly, almost unnatural, his pale skin and hair almost glowing as well from the midst of black clothes. His features were the same as ever, the hair maybe a bit longer, but it had been a long while since Zack had really seen the man. Sephiroth looked exactly the same, but he still wasn't the same. Something about him seemed so wrong. Zack hadn't gotten a good look at his friend back outside, he had been hiding half behind the hat's outer wall, peering down at the top of Sephiroth's head and shoulders. Now he was still too far to make out what it was about the other man that bothered him so.

His eyes passed over the others in a desperate search, and the fighter let out a small sigh of relief when he spotted Cloud lying on the stone, small, defeated and unmoving. He wasn't close enough to tell whether the spellcaster was alive anymore.

Zack wanted to slap himself. Of course he was. And he would get Cloud out of here.

A closer look at the man in the white coat confirmed that it really was Hojo. Just looking at him sent shivers up and down Zack's spine, even though he had never really met the man. The Turk was also recognizable now, one of the four who had attempted to capture them back in Midgar.

And who wouldn't recognize President ShinRa. Zack stuck his tongue out at the man before checking out the Soldier. He looked like any other enhanced fighter he'd met on the field in battle.

Then there was the short trooper he had seen with Sephiroth. Frowning, Zack looked around for him, but it took a while before he spotted the kneeling form near the pond, half hidden behind Sephiroth's long black coat. His frown deepened when Zack thought that there was something terribly familiar about the man. Long, brown hair on a loose braid, tied with a pink ribbon. Heh. What kind of a trooper would wear pink ribbons in his hair? And have such a girlish figure?

Zack stumbled and his mouth fell open when he recognized the kneeling figure. It was impossible, his brain tried to tell him. She was in Midgar! But his eyes weren't agreeing with the brain, and quite frankly, right there and then, Zack was going to trust his eyes better, knowing how many bumps his brain had received lately. The brain didn't even manage to stop his mouth from opening!

"…Aeris?"

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* * *

**A.N.:** Ok, I pulled the Da Chao is the image of the Five Gods/full of Lifestream –ideas from my ass. But hey, it could be true! There are four human shapes in the mountains, but it kind of looks like there had been a fifth one, which is only visible up to the waist now. There are too many hands there for just four. I can't remember if there was any explanation of the mountains in the game…

This took a while to put up since I had to have some of next chapter figured out completely before finishing this. Not so much action in this chapter, had to get people to places and stuff. But next chapter… ooh. Next one is going to be fun. And it shall be out sometime November. As soon as I finish it.

One more thing... The end is so close you can probably smell it. That bitter, salty, kind of sharp lime-like scent with a hint of cinnamon? That's the smell of the end, baby.

Please review? I loves the feedback!


	20. Chapter 16: Losing

Craaaaap… I can't believe this is finally ending. I'm both sad and extremely excited about it. Most of this chapter was written in one sitting, that's how excited I am.

Another thing… over 20 reviews since last chapter? I nearly fainted! Then giggled. Then giggled some more. Then laughed maniacally.

I love you people.

(Psst! Blood of the Innocents has 123 reviews so far… I'm sure it can be topped! ;D)

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* * *

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**Chapter Sixteen**

**Losing**

**.  
**

_Through the mirror of my mind  
Time after time  
I see reflections of you and me_

Aeris was deep in thought, listening to the voice of her mother whispering in her mind. Ifalna's words ran through her like the blood in her veins, and the truth was out. The lies Hojo had been fed with. How the professor had betrayed Aeris's parents. How they'd ran and been caught again, and how they had died. The truth of the White Materia, of the Planet, and the flower girl herself.

Ifalna had lied to Hojo to keep her daughter safe. Much of what she'd told the man while in captivity had been true to make the lies more believable.

The true Promised Land was what Aeris knew it to be: an afterlife. For the Cetras, a joining into the collective semi-consciousness of souls in the Lifestream. Hojo and the President had already had their own ideas of it years ago, and Ifalna had encouraged them, hoping that the lie would help keep Aeris safe. She'd told them that after her, Aeris was the only one alive capable of opening the way to their Promised Land. And it had worked, she had survived because of the lie.

But Ifalna was worried that the lie would unravel soon before them. The White Materia would not open the way. It was a very powerful Materia, but its purpose was to guard the Planet with a strong spell if needed. And it wouldn't work for just anyone or anywhere. Not even here, despite the amount of Lifestream in the cave.

'The Planet is not in such a danger right now that the White Materia would need to release its magic. It won't work for you, and they will soon realize it. I fear that my lies have failed you, Aeris.' Ifalna's whole being seemed saddened but Aeris refused to give up now.

'Don't think like that, mother. Thanks to you, I lived free. And as long as there's a will, there's a way, right?'

Ifalna laughed. 'Your father used to say that a lot. You have so much of his spirit in you.'

'I'm glad,' Aeris thought. And she was. She'd never known what traits she had inherited from which parent. Now that she got to talk wither mother, she didn't want it to end. But their time was limited.

'If you can, Aeris, try to keep the White Materia with you. And should the Planet ever need its power, you can reach it in the north. The Cetra's old home. The city itself was destroyed just a few days ago, but the power still remains.'

'I'll try. I promise.' Aeris smiled a little, even though a small, panicked thought tried to convince her that Ifalna was talking like this because they'd never get to talk with each other again.

'Don't think like that. Now that I got you back, I'm not letting you out of my sight again, Aeris.' Ifalna laughed a little as she seemed to read her daughter's mind.

'Thank you.'

Despite the conversation going on between the two women, Aeris was aware of the real world around her, and could vaguely hear the men muttering. She didn't know how much time had passed, but they were starting to get impatient. She would have to use the Materia soon, or they would start hurting Cloud. But the men didn't know the Materia wouldn't work, and they wouldn't believe her. She needed a distraction.

"Aeris?"

Her eyes shot open and her hands fell as she turned around and shot up to her feet at the startled voice of the man she loved. Zack was here, just when she needed him the most. She was running towards him before anyone, even Tseng or Sephiroth had managed to react.

Zack was leaning heavily on a wooden stick as he stood there, just inside the cave, mouth hanging open in his deathly pale face. The man was covered in sweat, blood and dirt. Tseng's hand, holding his gun, was coming up fast, as were Sephiroth's and the Soldier's swords. They all stopped in hesitation when Aeris was suddenly in the way. All three weapons were lowered but not put away as she threw her arms around the man who had surprised them all, and the two of them fell onto the hard ground.

_Reflections of  
The way life used to be  
Reflections of  
The love you took from me_

"Son of a…" Zack wheezed as his long-suffering body collided with the stone floor, leaving him breathless and teary-eyed. Still, he was holding onto the warm body in his arms with all his might. He never wanted to let go again.

"Oh Zack!" Aeris was almost sobbing with relief and pure happiness. Zack was here and alive, even if wounded. She could take care of that. She held him tighter and let her healing powers flow through a dear friend for the second time within the hour. A warm green glow spread over the both of them.

Zack wanted to ask how Aeris was here, but it didn't matter. It could wait. She was in his arms again, and he didn't even have to go to Midgar and fight all of ShinRa to achieve it! Well, he would still have to fight ShinRa, but at least she was healing him better than any materia.

Right. He still didn't have a weapon.

But all that was forgotten when he dared to open his eyes as pain and exhaustion left his body. Violet eyes met green, and his face split into a wide grin. "Hey. What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dungeon like this?"

"Trying to open the way to the Promised Land, of course." Aeris answered, for a moment as oblivious of their surroundings as he was. Then she felt the White Materia inside her fist again, and became aware of the stares aimed their way.

"So you're not just here to see me? Aww. My male ego is bruised." Zack pouted, eyeing Tseng who had come to stand beside them and was glaring at him.

"… Zack?" They both looked up at Sephiroth's surprisingly hesitant query. The fighter's heart leapt with joy at the tone; maybe his friend was still the same, somewhere deep inside. Hoping to bring that out, he dared to unwrap one arm from around Aeris and waved it at the general.

"Hey man! Fancy seeing you here! This day is turning out to be pretty darn weird, I can tell you that. I mean, here I am, in a cave in the middle of Wutai, minding my own business, and suddenly I run into two of my favourite people!"

Sephiroth had approached them as well, sword still in hand but not threatening anyone's life. The general let out an amused noise and walked to their side, opposite of Tseng. "It is a strange world, Zack. I was aware that you were here in Wutai, but my source was convinced that you were dead."

"Well, rumours of my death were obviously greatly exaggerated. What was your source anyway? I didn't think I was so popular that the Wutai radio would make _another_ top story about me."

Now Sephiroth smirked and pointed behind Tseng. Both Zack and Aeris turned to look at Cloud's still form. The fighter fell serious at once.

"Ah. I see. He ok?"

Aeris nodded while Hojo opened his mouth.

"He won't be for long."

Aeris moved so that Zack could sit up beside her. To his relief, all his pains were gone, thanks to Aeris's healing hands. He was only a little stiff anymore, and the sight of Hojo took care of that as well.

"We are waiting, Aeris." The professor said, arms crossed over his chest. The President was looking serious as well. Tseng moved back to Cloud.

"What's going on here?" Zack asked, inching his hand towards his crutch. It was just a wooden stick, but it was all he had. A good whack to the head with it would knock down most people.

"They're threatening to hurt Cloud if I don't open the way for them to the Promised Land with this." Aeris showed him the White Materia and leaned towards him to whisper the rest into his ear. "The problem is I can't do that."

Zack took a moment to digest her words before frowning. "Well that's pretty damn cowardly of them. I mean, Cloud's not even conscious. How's he gonna defend himself if they start messing with him?"

"He is a hostage, he is not meant to defend himself." Hojo explained impatiently. The President motioned Tseng to get Aeris, and he started towards them.

Zack eyed the Materia and the approaching Turk. An idea popped to his mind immediately, and since it was all he could think of, he let it out. "Quick. Swallow it."

"What?" Aeris's eyes grew wide and she almost laughed. But Tseng was nearly there, reaching out for her, and the Materia would not work.

"Trust me."

She knew she would trust that grin to the end of the Planet. So she quickly brought her hand up, and before Tseng could stop her, the Materia was in her mouth. Before anyone realized what exactly she was doing, she'd swallowed it already.

Tseng stopped in his tracks, staring with his eyes wide. "You… didn't just…"

Sephiroth burst into laughter.

"See, Seph?" Zack said with a dirty grin. "Is this woman a keeper or what?" he then whipped his legs around towards Tseng, and caught the Turk in the knees. As the surprised man fought to keep his balance Zack shot up, pulled Aeris along and started to run back towards the tunnel. Tseng swore and took off after them as soon as he was up again. Sephiroth watched, chuckling.

"Go after them!" The President roared and the Soldier obeyed. Sephiroth just looked over his shoulder and shrugged.

"They won't get far without a light. Tseng will catch up with them."

"We can't afford to lose her! Go!" The President shouted at him, red in the face with rage. The general shrugged again, put away his sword to manage the tunnels, and followed the Soldier.

_Oh, I'm all alone now  
No love to shield me  
Trapped in a world  
That's a distorted reality_

Cloud opened his eyes slowly, wondering why it was so dark around him. He felt warm; whatever he was lying on was warm to the touch but very hard.

The dark world was bathing in a greenish light which flickered a little, like light shining off from water. It was a calming effect, and the spellcaster did feel far calmer and more collected than in a long while as he lay there, watching the ceiling. The ground beneath him was vibrating from hurried footsteps, the air thick with anger and shouting. He couldn't quite bring himself to remember where he was and what was happening, so he figured that it might be a good idea to get up and find out.

For some reason he had expected to feel dizzy and nauseated, but he felt fine, maybe a little light-headed once he sat up. It was interesting to find that he was in a large cave, since he didn't know how he'd gotten there. A pool of greenish light was the source of the illumination. Two men were standing near it, but the light from behind them was making it hard for him to see their faces. Cloud realized that they might be enemies, and his hands immediately shot up to check his wrist- and arm bands to see which materia he had on.

Nothing.

Cloud frowned and checked again. No materia, no knives, no sword. Nothing at all. So he was either here among friends, or a prisoner, which would make these men his enemies. Luckily they had not noticed him, their attention trained to the cave's wall onto his right. The spellcaster turned carefully onto his hands and knees and crawled further away from their line of sight.

"They can't get too far." The bigger man said suddenly, startling Cloud. The man's tone was nervous, it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of his words. The thinner man shook his head.

"No, sir. Sephiroth will catch them, bring them back and then we can continue."

Sephiroth. Cloud's whole body had frozen at that one name. His breath threatened to catch in his throat as his mind reeled with memories that flooded into his mind from those nine letters. The love they had shared, the loss he'd experienced, and most of all the shock and horror of the last few days. The avalanche of visuals threatened to overwhelm him, but the calmness in him was stronger. Despite everything, his mind was not the jumble it had been for a long time. Everything seemed almost too clear.

He looked more carefully at the second man who had spoken, and realized that it was none other than the man who was responsible for weeks of pure hell for himself and Sephiroth. The one who had destroyed everything.

"Hojo…" the spellcaster muttered under his breath and looked around for any kind of weapon. He had thought he'd already killed the man, but obviously he needed to try harder.

The floor of the cave was barren of anything he could use. Only a few small, smooth pebbles clattered beneath his fumbling fingers. Cloud almost despaired, but reminded himself that he didn't really need a weapon to kill someone. His two hands should be enough. He'd just have to reach Hojo without him noticing, wrap his arms around that thin neck, and break it.

Easy as anything. The men were still staring away from him, Hojo was closer than the other man, -President ShinRa, he realized- and even had his back towards the spellcaster. They didn't notice as he crawled towards them as fast as he dared. The President only noticed him when it was too late, when he jumped up and wrapped his right arm around Hojo's neck and the left one around his forehead, and pulled sharply with the left.

There was no cracking sound, however, just a startled scream from the President. Hojo swore and lifted his hands up, grabbing Cloud's arms.

"I'm not… that… easy to kill." The professor growled and pulled at his arms, trying to get the spellcaster to lose his hold. Cloud growled back and jumped a little, wrapping his legs around Hojo's waist to throw him off balance. It worked, but he still didn't manage to break the man's neck as they fell to the hard ground.

"Help! Sephiroth! Tseng!" The President shouted just before Cloud felt two arms wrap around his waist. The man was trying to pull him off Hojo, who had almost managed to pull the spellcaster's arms off. The blond swore and let go of Hojo. The sudden move threw the President off balance, making him stumble backwards and take Cloud with him as his arms were still around the blond's waist. Cloud didn't waste any time in throwing his hands around the President's head, and pulling sharply.

There was that satisfying snap. A small whimper followed, and the vice-like grip around him loosened as the man fell dead to the ground. Cloud fell on top of him the next second as Hojo's surprisingly powerful punch dropped him easily. He rolled away from the men, trying to hold onto his consciousness, protecting his head from further beating.

Which never followed. After a moment Cloud dared to open his eyes to see Hojo leaning over the other man, a smirk spreading onto his face.

"My my… he's dead." The professor muttered and turned to the blond, still smirking. "You just killed President ShinRa, boy. Unexpected, but I think I can manage to turn this… horrible happenstance to my benefit…"

Cloud climbed up to his hands and knees and backed away nervously. Hojo stepped over the body towards him, making the spellcaster back away even faster.

"Don't run. You won't be able to escape."

"Don't… don't come closer! I'll… kill you!" Cloud shouted, unnerved.

"Yes, that worked so well just now, didn't it?" Hojo smirked and pulled out a small syringe from his pocket. Cloud lost the last threads of his calmness and screamed as more memories came crashing down, this time from the weeks he and Sephiroth had spent in the professor's gentle care.

_Happiness you took from me  
And left me alone  
With only memories_

Zack remembered to duck a little as he entered the tunnel, and managed to avoid most of the stalactites and other low-hanging rocks as they ran headlong in the near complete darkness. Aeris's hand tight in his was enough to make him run to the end of the Planet if needed, but he didn't want to leave Cloud and Sephiroth behind. Improvisation was good and all, but a situation this complicated needed some planning.

First, they'd have to get rid of their followers.

"Zack… where are we going?" Aeris managed between gasping for breath. She had some difficulties in keeping up with her shorter legs, but she wasn't going to let him out of her sight.

"Not far, babe." Zack answered and, true to his words, suddenly pulled her into a small alcove in the wall, to their right. He had nearly fallen in there on his way to the cave. The tunnel was slightly illuminated at this point by a nearby cave of fire. The Lifestream cave was far enough behind them that the green glow had completely disappeared.

Zack lifted a finger to Aeris's lips and winked at her, his back against the alcove's back wall, away from sight. It didn't take long for Tseng to catch up. The Turk ran past them, swearing under his breath as he moved as fast as he could. Zack smirked after he had passed, motioned for Aeris to stand back, and stepped forward to the alcove's mouth as another set of footsteps soon followed. The fighter pushed his foot out just before the Soldier ran past them. Unable to see the protruding limb, he fell with a yelp and lost his hold on his sword. Zack didn't waste any time in running after the weapon. Once it was in his hand, he turned around and whacked the rising Soldier in the head with its hilt. The man stumbled but was strong enough not to lose consciousness.

"Come on, man, I don't want to kill you unless I have to." Zack hissed and whacked him again. No effect. He was about to turn the sword and kill the man when the Soldier's eyes suddenly glazed over. Blinking in surprise, Zack watched as the tall man crumbled to the tunnel floor. "What the heck?"

Aeris was standing behind the man, smiling and waving at him a little. "Sleep-spell." She explained and laughed a little at his surprised expression.

"I didn't know you had any materia on you."

"I don't. I don't seem to need it here, with all this Lifestream." Aeris said with a shrug and a smile. Zack grinned at her and stepped closer to catch her in his arms again.

"Stop, Zackery." A low voice said as a black-clad hand wrapped around Aeris's waist. She yelped with surprise and tried to break free, but Sephiroth's hold was strong. He lifted her easily off the ground.

Zack debated on raising the sword against his old friend, but found he couldn't do it. "Seph, come on. Let her down. Let's get Cloud and get the hell out of here." His tone was almost pleading, and he prayed that it would get through to the man.

Sephiroth turned his glowing eyes to the fighter and cocked his head. "You seem to be under the impression that we are still on the same side. Those days are long gone, but since you were a good friend, I'm not eager to kill you. In fact, I am willing to let you leave here alive."

"Unfortunately it's not for you to decide on whether he lives or dies."

Zack jumped and bumped his head to the ceiling at the sudden voice from behind him. Sephiroth rolled his eyes a little.

"Tseng!" Aeris exclaimed when the Turk stepped close enough that the dim light brought out some of his features, and the gun he was pointing in Zack's direction. "Please, don't hurt him. You can't let me go, but please, don't hurt him." Her pleading seemed to crack the Turk's hard façade, and Tseng even lowered his weapon slightly. Unfortunately Zack wasn't going to go along with it.

"What? Hold on here, everyone. I just got Aeris back, I ain't just gonna let her go."

Tseng let out a small laugh. "He doesn't know?" he asked, looking at Aeris. Before she could say anything, the Turk continued. "You didn't know that Aeris is going to be Sephiroth's spouse after we are done here?"

"Tseng!" Aeris shouted, kicking with her feet.

Zack had turned away from her to hear the Turk's words better, and now turned slowly back to her. The look on his face was unlike anything she'd ever seen before. She could feel even Sephiroth tensing at the sight.

"Is… what?" the fighter seemed unable to form a sentence, but the hurt was evident in his voice and eyes as he looked at the two of them. Sephiroth loosened his hold on Aeris a little and she slipped away from him, and into Zack's arms.

"I won't accept it!" Aeris shouted, shaking her head against his chest. The fighter wrapped both arms around her shoulders, still staring at Sephiroth.

"Seph… what's going on? What's this about? And what about Cloud?"

Sephiroth seemed to turn to stone at the mention of the spellcaster's name. Zack didn't understand why, and didn't get a chance to ask when a shout echoed in the tunnels.

"Help! Sephiroth! Tseng!"

"The President." Tseng recognized the distorted voice and pushed back the others before starting to run towards the cave again. Sephiroth sighed, grabbed Aeris's arm with his right hand and followed him.

Zack stood in the dark tunnel for a moment before following them, the Soldier's sword still in hand.

_Through the mirror of my mind  
Through these tears that I'm crying  
Reflects a hurt I can't control_

They were nearly at the cave when a shrill scream echoed to greet them. As they burst into the green-lit area they met with an unexpected sight.

The President was lying on the ground, near the pool.

Tseng ran straight to his boss only to find him dead. Sephiroth slowed down and stopped a few steps into the cave and Zack nearly bumped into him and Aeris. As the fighter turned to see what they were looking at he let out an angry shout at the sight.

Cloud had curled into a small ball next to the stone wall, shaking and shielding his head from Hojo who was leaning over him with an empty syringe in hand. The professor stood up and turned to them when he heard the scuffle of Sephiroth restraining Zack before the fighter could attack the white-clad man.

"Ah, you're back." Hojo remarked and turned to stare at the spellcaster again.

"What happened here?" Tseng demanded. He had his gun out, pointing in turn at Hojo, Cloud and Zack as he approached them.

Hojo gestured at the spellcaster. "He killed the President. Tried to break my neck, but didn't succeed, so he turned on the President. I sedated him, he won't be a bother anymore."

Tseng turned his gun to Cloud, his hand shaking.

"Tseng, please! Don't do it!" Aeris shouted, struggling to get free from Sephiroth's hold.

The Turk laughed bitterly and lowered his gun a little. "Are you going to ask me to spare everyone here in turn?"

"No… just Zack, Cloud and yourself." Aeris said quietly.

Tseng stared at the ground for a while before sighing. "What now?" the Turk asked as he put his gun away. Hojo looked up then and pointed towards the pool of Lifestream.

"We continue, of course."

"There's a slight problem." Sephiroth said and nudged his head towards Aeris. "The White Materia is… unavailable at the moment."

Zack snorted. Hojo raised an eyebrow and walked to the last Cetra.

"Hmm. Well. There's no rush. We have other matters at hand here. Such as, the President."

"He's reached the Promised Land." Aeris said, morbidly amused. It was true, the President had reached his goal. But not the way he had expected.

"Rufus will take his place as the head of ShinRa Inc." Tseng said, a frown on his face. "I need to get back to Midgar."

"Not so fast." Hojo said and raised an arm towards the Turk. "There are other options. Especially when the boy in question is still so young and inexperienced."

Aeris was sure that if Tseng were the type to let his emotions show, his mouth would have fallen open. Instead he just frowned. "Sir. With all due respect, Rufus is twenty-one already, and he has been involved in ShinRa activities all his life, and trained to—"

"Yes yes, I'm sure he is. But." Hojo smirked and ignored the Turk as he turned towards Sephiroth. "In my opinion, you, my son, would make the perfect leader for the company."

Zack spluttered, chuckled and shook his head at the ridiculous idea. But when he turned to look at the silver-haired man, his objections died on his lips when he saw that Sephiroth was seriously considering the idea.

"You've got to be kidding me!" The fighter shouted, incredulous, and looked at Aeris who was shaking her head. Sephiroth still had a firm hold on the both of them.

Hojo paid even less attention to him than he had granted Tseng. The professor rubbed his hands together. "I'm sure it would work. You have already conquered Wutai, something the previous President couldn't manage despite several attempts. The company, and all of Midgar, need a firm hand to rule them. The slums need to be cleansed of all the unfit and useless."

"That's horrible!" Aeris objected. Like Tseng and Zack, she was ignored.

"Think about it, son. The Cetra will rule the Planet once again. You and your sons…" at that he glanced at Aeris, still smirking, eyes glinting with excitement. "…it will be a new beginning for the whole Planet. And the humans will be shown their proper place."

"This is the biggest heap of bullshit I've ever heard…" Zack muttered, shaking his head. He yelped with pain the next second when Sephiroth twisted his right arm, forcing him to drop the sword he was still carrying. "Seph, what the—"

It took Sephiroth just a small flick of the wrist to send the fighter flying. He could see Aeris trying to reach out for him before he collided back first with the closest stone wall and fell to the floor. He managed to remain conscious but just barely.

"Will the company executives accept it?" Sephiroth asked once Zack was silenced.

"Will they have a choice?" Hojo's shark teeth glittered in the green glow of the Lifestream.

'_cause although you're gone  
I keep holding on  
To the happy times  
Oh, when you were mine_

"That went perfectly."

The voice was weak, full of pain, but victorious. It was vaguely familiar, but he couldn't quite place it. He couldn't even open his eyes at the moment; asking him to recognize a distorted voice was a bit too much to ask.

The smell of blood was strong around him. He thought that his whole body must have been covered with the red liquid. Maybe that was the thing keeping his eyes so firmly shut, the lids so heavy he couldn't hope to crack them.

He didn't really want to see where he was. The nauseating feeling in his gut told him he wouldn't like it, even when he couldn't consciously remember where he was.

The last thing he could remember was a blinding light, and the warmth of sunshine. The outside world. For some reason, he felt like it had been a long time since he'd felt warm like that.

"Sir, maybe you should rest."

"I'm fine. Are the drugs still working?"

"Yes, sir. He won't be getting up anytime soon." Someone nudged his right arm a little.

"Good. And Sephiroth?"

"The wound was quite shallow. He lost a lot of blood but he will be fine."

"What did you tell him?"

"What you said, sir. That he tried to attack us as well after attempting to kill you two, and then managed to escape."

"Good. Did he believe you?"

"Yes, sir. He seemed distraught, though."

"Very good. He won't doubt me any longer."

The words didn't make any sense to him. Were they talking about him? They were talking above him, that much he could tell.

Had someone hurt Sephiroth?

There was a war going on. Sephiroth must have been hurt in one of the attacks. But the words were still not making sense.

Then again, his head was hurting something awful; he was barely conscious and could just about remember his last name. He tried to move or make a sound, but could only manage a quiet whimper.

Shuffling around him, and a blinding light when someone forced his left eye open.

"I think he's trying to wake up, sir."

"Give him another dose."

His eyelid was released, and the following darkness was disturbed by bright colours that ate their way to his brain. A small prick on his left arm, and everything started to fade away.

"Put some clothes on him and take him out to the desert. Away from here. His corpse will hopefully distract them from searching this end."

"Yes sir."

Then everything was dark and quiet again. He was somewhat aware of being carried and tossed around, limp limbs forced into clothes that itched and scratched and felt horrible after being naked for so long. Even his skin felt tight once it got hot around him. He almost came to his senses when his aching body was constantly jostled around, but the same blinding light from before threw him into the depths of darkness when he managed to open his eyes a little.

A bone-jarring meeting with hard-packed hot earth finally woke him. He thought he could hear the sound of an engine while struggling to get up on his hands and knees. Each and every one of his joints was aching like they had sand in them. His nerves were raw and he was quite sure he was bleeding from an aching lump at the back of his head.

It took a long while but he eventually managed to stand up. There was a sword and a small bag lying on the sand nearby. He picked them up and, lacking anything else to do, started to walk. Direction made little difference as he had no idea where he was. The sand burned his bare feet but he just stumbled on. He had to find Sephiroth, after all.

The scorching heat of day turned to the icy chill of night and back to blinding brightness again. He'd dropped the sword somewhere in the darkness, and had realized a while ago that the bag wasn't with him either anymore. His throat was parched and there wasn't even a drop of saliva in his mouth anymore. His head was hurting too badly to form a decent plan to find water, shelter or a way out of the desert. It took all the effort he had just to drag himself up every time he fell. He wanted to just lie down and sleep, but the sand was too hot. The sun had already burned his skin raw; the sand felt like salt in open wounds when it came into contact with skin.

"Hey! Are you all right?"

Great. Now he was hearing voices, too. It wasn't enough that he kept seeing Sephiroth all of the time?

"Can you hear me?"

He turned a little just to convince himself that there was really no one there. His neck cracked painfully when he turned his head, and the following spell of dizziness dropped him to the ground. Next thing he knew, someone was touching him. More words, a concerned face nearby, and –he wanted to weep- a bottle of water. Just a few sips of it cleared his head immensely, and he could make out facial features when he looked at his savior again. The man was smiling as he helped him up and offered his help.

"A... a town. I need... to get to a town. What's the... nearest?" …that couldn't be his voice. That quiet, hoarse squeaking couldn't have come from his throat.

"North Corel is the nearest one. I'm heading there myself, I can give you a ride."

He muttered some words that seemed appropriate, still disturbed by the weakness of his voice. Not to mention his legs. They were dragging on the hot sand as the man helped him towards a chocobo. He frowned at the sight, wondering what had happened to his own. Hadn't he and Sephiroth spent several days on the large bird's backs, after they'd left Wutai?

Where was Sephiroth? Why did his chest ache when he thought of the man?

Before he knew it he was on the bird's back. The man jumped up behind him, and pulled up close, wrapping an arm around his waist. It felt nice. Familiar. Safe.

"Don't want you to fall…"

The whispered words right by his ear were enough to calm him. He leaned his head against the stranger's shoulder and closed his eyes. He was off the scorching sand, he could finally sleep.

_As I peer through the window__ of lost time  
Looking over my yesterdays  
And all the love I gave all in vain_

It took a while before Zack managed to open his eyes again. His head was hurting and he was guessing he'd have one hell of a lump in the back of his head soon. Still, something good had come from this.

Sephiroth had tossed him almost on top of Cloud.

Tseng was standing next to the President's body, head hanging low while Hojo and Sephiroth seemed to be deep in discussion. Aeris was trying to break free from the general's vice-like grip but was having little success. Zack grinned and winked at her, and it calmed her a little. She had enough to worry about without wondering whether he was still alive.

His neck and shoulders were aching as well, but it wasn't too bad, not when compared to how badly he'd been hurting just a little while ago. And since Sephiroth and Hojo didn't seem to care what he was doing he could easily crawl over to Cloud. The spellcaster was still curled up as small as he could, but he was no longer shaking or covering his head; his limbs had gone limp with the sedative. Zack felt a stab of pain at the peaceful expression on his friend's face, even though the blond was frowning slightly. Dreaming, the fighter guessed.

Couldn't be helped. He'd have to wake Cloud up. If they were to manage an escape, everyone would need to be on their own feet. The tunnel was hard enough to manage alone, and if they needed to run, it would be impossible to get through while carrying someone. Besides, if there was someone who could reach Sephiroth, it was Cloud.

He started to nudge the spellcaster gently, prodding the blond's hip with his shoulder, adding a little strength after every two or three nudges. Cloud's frown deepened and he murmured something, trying to bat Zack away.

"Wakey wakey, Spikey." The fighter muttered, hoping that the sedative Hojo had used wasn't too strong. It was encouraging that he was managing to disturb Cloud's sleep.

Tseng could obviously be talked into forgetting this whole deal, since he had already spared both his and Cloud's lives just because Aeris had asked him to. And despite the cold shoulder he was giving everyone, Zack refused to believe that Sephiroth was completely unreachable. The man he had befriended and loved like a brother had to be somewhere in there. So that left only Hojo to deal with.

But he didn't dare to make another attempt without all the backup he could get, and Cloud should be able to talk sense into Sephiroth better than he himself, right? So he continued to prod the blond, eyes on the enemy to make sure his attempts wouldn't be spotted.

Thankfully, Tseng provided them with a distraction.

The Turk had been standing apart from the others, listening to Hojo's plans without a word. Zack had thought that he had given up, or was going along with the man for now. But apparently he had just been seething over the whole deal.

"Treason!" Tseng suddenly shouted and turned on Hojo with his gun out. "This has gone on long enough. You, sir, speak of treason. Rufus ShinRa is the heir of the ShinRa company, and there is no reason for him not to follow in his father's footsteps. The company has employed you for decades now, and should have your loyalty."

Hojo looked in turn at the gun and at the man while Tseng spoke. When the Turk fell silent, the professor laughed in his face.

"You fool. Loyalty? To that stupid old oaf and his so-called company? Only as long as he funded my research. No, boy, my loyalty has always been and will always be only to me."

Aeris screamed in horror when Sephiroth's left hand, holding his sword again, moved almost faster than she could see. Tseng's gun, along with the hand holding it, fell to the ground and the Turk staggered back, blood spurting from his open wrist. Aeris tried to reach him but Sephiroth still had a strong hold on her upper arm with his right hand.

Hojo snorted. "If you really wanted to stop us, you should have used the gun first and talked later. Fool."

Tseng fell to his knees and tried to stop the bleeding by tying his tie around the bleeding limb, but his other hand was shaking so badly he was having a hard time managing it.

Sephiroth glared at the blood spatters on his sword and shook it sharply once, sending drops of blood flying around. Many of them landed on Hojo's immaculate white coat, but the professor didn't seem to mind.

"Now then… where were we?"

_All the love that I've wasted  
All the tears that I've tasted  
All in vain_

Cloud watched as the past moved on. Waking up in North Corel, realizing that Sephiroth was gone. He hadn't known what to do, who to go to, so after the day and a half of crying his eyes out he'd contacted the Peacemakers. They had organized the ride to the north for him, and had contacted Sephiroth's family to deliver the news. They had done everything they could to help him, but it had all felt so useless. Nothing and no one could reach him, nothing mattered beside the fact that Sephiroth was gone. It was all he could remember of the past months. He had no answers to their questions.

Their quiet words, sad or even pitying eyes when they saw him go by were too much to handle in the end. He needed to get away, so he had just left one early morning. He had needed to be somewhere away from the whispered words behind his back and the pitying looks. Somewhere where no one would know that his world had just fallen apart.

Somehow, and he wasn't quite sure himself how exactly, he had ended up in Midgar, behind Cid's door. Maybe it was some unconscious urge to be with someone after all. And the life in Midgar had managed to distract him. But only for a while. If only Zack had not followed him there. He could have been vaguely happy there until things would have become too hard to handle, and then he could just have disappeared somewhere. There was a whole lot of Plate in Midgar to jump from, after all.

Hell, it would have been preferable to this. Maybe not the best choice or the smartest thing to do, but at least he wouldn't have been forced to see the hatred in Sephiroth's eyes.

Speaking of which, no matter how painful it was to relive those more or less forgotten memories, it was preferable to being awake and watching the man. It was good to sleep, he'd been awake for so long he thought he was losing his mind. So why the hell didn't they let him sleep in peace? Didn't they understand that he was happier this way, not knowing what was going on?

His mind was hazy with sleep, his limbs heavy, but the incessant nudging was forcing him towards consciousness.

"Stoooop…" the spellcaster muttered and tried once more, completely in vain, to shoo away whatever it was that kept poking his hip. There was a heavy weight on top of his legs, probably connected to the poking thing.

"Cloud, this is _not_ the best time to be napping. Come on."

"Go 'way…" the spellcaster growled, stubbornly keeping his eyes shut, trying to hang on to the remnants of sleep. But he was awake enough now to hear other voices besides the quiet murmur from nearby.

He could hear Sephiroth speaking, and another voice. A voice he had heard in his sleep just a while ago, speaking words that made no sense.

Except…

Hojo had done his damnedest to turn Sephiroth against him. To make him seem like the bad guy. Him and the rest of the world. Everyone besides the professor himself. And the man was no way above playing as dirty as he could.

The final pieces of the puzzle clicked together. Cloud remembered everything. And when it completely dawned on him how he and Sephiroth had been played with, turned against each other, he realized he was angry. He was beyond angry, in fact. He wanted blood.

"Cloud, for fuck's sake—" Zack hissed, getting desperate. Since he was watching Sephiroth, Hojo and Aeris, he didn't notice when Cloud's eyes suddenly shot open, and turned immediately onto the professor. The only warning he got before he was flying again –not too far this time, just tossed onto his face- was when he felt Cloud's body go completely rigid half a second before the blond was up and running towards Hojo.

Zack managed to raise his head just when Cloud's hands were about to close around Hojo's throat. That's when Sephiroth's left hand, free of the Masamune again, shot out and grabbed the spellcaster's shirt neck, pulling him back violently.

"You just don't have the brains to stay down, do you?" Hojo said after getting over the surprise the sudden attack had caused. Cloud just gagged and tried to tear at his shirt. Sephiroth's hold was so tight it was choking him. "I'm surprised you got over the sedative so quickly. It should have protected us from your annoying presence for a good while longer."

Cloud managed to make a tear in the weak fabric and Sephiroth's hold loosened so that the spellcaster almost fell out of his shirt. The general let out a low growl and dropped Cloud who immediately went after Hojo's blood again. But Sephiroth quickly released Aeris from his right hand and grabbed Cloud's shoulder, forcing the blond around so that he could catch the front of the torn shirt. Aeris quickly ran to Tseng's aid while Cloud struggled against the grip. The blond fell almost limp when his face was lifted to the same level with his lover's green eyes.

"Sephiroth…"

"Do I have to toss you into the pool?" the general asked from between clenched teeth. His tone was enough to terrify Aeris and Zack, but Cloud just frowned. His lack of reaction seemed to take Sephiroth back a little. It was very different behaviour from the Cloud who had cowered in front of him for the last few days. The spellcaster was actually looking him in the eyes. Like before this whole mess…

"He really is more trouble than he's worth… I don't know if keeping one little specimen is enough to go through all this trouble for." Hojo said, shaking his head. Cloud growled and tried to turn to look at the professor.

"You bastard. You used me! You made me do it!" The spellcaster screamed, lifting his hands to grip Sephiroth's arm tightly. Hojo seemed amused at the accusation.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You… you made me turn on him so that he'd believe you! So that I'd think I killed him! You turned us against each other!"

Now Hojo was laughing, not bothering to answer with anything besides a shake of his head.

Sephiroth, however, seemed more interested. He cocked his head and shook Cloud to get his attention. "What are you talking about?"

Cloud turned immediately to him, blinking for a moment, not quite daring to believe that Sephiroth would listen to reason. But the general was eyeing him with an odd look on his face.

"He… you remember the desert? When we… when Hojo kept us as prisoners? He wanted to turn us against each other, to get you to hate me and everyone who you've ever cared about. He wanted to break you so that he could make you believe him. His lies."

Sephiroth nodded for him to go on, and Cloud continued, encouraged. Hojo had stopped laughing, but didn't do anything to stop him from talking.

"He did anything he could think of to get you to believe him! He threatened to hurt me if you wouldn't go with his… experiments. Do you remember? He gave you Mako and drugs and lied all through it. And… and to make sure you believed him, and mistrusted everyone else, he forced me to try and kill you."

Cloud's voice had fallen quieter as the memories got more painful. Tears were running down his cheeks as he stared into the deep green eyes before him, trying to make Sephiroth remember the truth.

"He used drugs on me too, he'd make me watch while he lied to you, and punish me when I tried to make him stop. Then he… then he… he was doing it again, and I couldn't take it anymore. He told them to take me away from you, but they let me go easily. Usually they would hold me so tight they nearly broke my bones. But this time they let me go, Sephiroth! He'd drugged me and forced me to listen to his lies, to watch how he was tearing you away and poisoning your mind. He _wanted_ me to try and kill you, and because of the drugs and the grief and the pain I thought it was the only thing I _could_ do."

Cloud let Sephiroth's arm go and lifted his shaky hands first to the man's neck and then to his cheeks. His dirty fingers stroked the smooth skin carefully as he dared to hope that things would be all right again.

"I could never hurt you… I love you! He made me kill you, he used me! He used me to get to you, and now he's using you." Cloud was desperate to make Sephiroth believe his words. His tone was pleading when he whispered his assurance, only for their ears.

"I love you."

_Through the hollow of my tears  
I see a dream that's lost  
From the hurt  
That you have caused_

Silence fell over the whole cave.

Zack had crawled over to the Soldier's discarded sword while Sephiroth had struggled with Cloud, but he had only sat still during Cloud's words. He hadn't managed to move, had he even wanted to.

Aeris had healed Tseng's hand, to stop the bleeding and close worst of the wound. She and the Turk had also stopped to listen, and didn't dare to utter a word to break the silence.

Hojo was waiting, watching Sephiroth with the attention of a hunter following his prey.

And Sephiroth was staring deep into Cloud's eyes. He'd listened to every word, noted the truth in them as they woke memories of his own. His expression was completely neutral as he stared forward, Cloud held close in his right hand, the Masamune loosely held with the left. The tip of the blade almost touched ground.

A falling feather could have deafened them in the silence.

Cloud, his hands now against Sephiroth's cheeks, gathered his courage and leaned forward as far as he could, to press his lips gently against his lover's.

Everything would be all right.

They would get rid of Hojo, and in time grow out of the memories and be able to live happily again. Zack and Aeris would get married, and they could all live close to each other. It would do Sephiroth good to be around those two. After all, they had managed to help Cloud so much when all he had wanted was to cry or die.

The kiss was wet with tears and Cloud could almost pretend that the Masamune was not going through his ribcage, protruding out of the middle of his back.

Aeris was screaming.

The world turned green. Green as Sephiroth's eyes.

_Everywhere I turn  
Seems like everything I see  
Reflects the love that used to be_

Zack had thought that it was just a cliché that the world slowed down when something truly horrible was happening. Or something wonderful. But this was definitely of the former category, and the cliché was apparently very much true.

He had believed with Cloud, believed with all his will that Sephiroth would see reason. Believed that he would answer the kiss, and that it would be the first of a lifetime of kisses.

So when the Masamune's tip rose to Cloud's chest and ran through the spellcaster agonizingly slow, Zack refused to believe it at first. Told himself that he was dreaming, that this was just a horrible nightmare. Then Aeris started to scream. The world caught up with time again, and Cloud's head fell back. His whole body collapsed, supported only by the silvery sword when Sephiroth let go of the shirt which was turning black with blood.

"No!" Zack screamed, trying to deny the truth one more time. Trying to pretend that he wasn't seeing the ugly look on Sephiroth's face as he tilted his sword and let Cloud's body slide down its length, to collapse in a heap on the ground. Hojo was laughing, Aeris was still screaming. She was trying to reach Cloud, but Tseng was holding on to her with his working hand, not daring to let her go when there was no telling what Sephiroth would do next. He was grateful that the Turk was looking out for her, even when she was the only one here who would be able to help Cloud.

Zack didn't want Aeris anywhere near Sephiroth, but if they wanted Cloud to survive, she needed to get to him. Zack could help. He could get Sephiroth away from Cloud.

This time he didn't stop to think about whether he should raise his sword against a friend, not even for a second. This was not the man he had known.

Screaming with rage, Zack got to his feet and attacked.

_In you I put  
All my faith and trust  
Right before my eyes  
My world has turned to dust_

Sephiroth was blocking his attacks almost lazily whereas the fighter was hacking and slashing almost blindly. Literally so; the tears in his eyes were making it hard to see anything but green light and dark blurs moving around. He didn't want to believe it, didn't want to let go of his friend. But if there was one thing that would make him believe that Sephiroth was gone for good, it was what just had happened. Sephiroth had hurt Cloud. Killed him, maybe. Killed the one he had loved, and who had loved him more than anything.

"You… son of a bitch!" The fighter screamed, his voice breaking with grief and rage. Sephiroth chuckled, still not bothering to get serious about the fight.

"Come on, Zackery. Be fair." The silver-haired man purred. "He was deeply disturbed, it was best for him."

"Die!" Zack roared, too angry to care that his attacks would have made his masters weep. There was no grace, no pattern to his actions. Just rage, sorrow and the need to hurt Sephiroth.

From the corners of his eyes he could make out movement as Aeris ran to Cloud's aid. Hojo was still on the loose, but he couldn't be bothered about the professor right now. Oh, he would_ love_ to get a chance with the man, chop him into tiny bits and worse for all the pain he had caused on them all. But that would have to wait. First he needed to make sure Sephiroth wouldn't hurt anyone anymore.

Aeris ran to Cloud's aid as soon as Zack's attack had forced Sephiroth far enough that he wouldn't be able to reach them with his impossibly long sword. She was terrified when the two were dancing so close to the pool of Lifestream, but she trusted that Zack wouldn't do anything stupid like fall in. And Cloud was her top priority right then. She ignored Hojo's cackling as she knelt beside her friend. How many times already had she healed someone dear to her today? It was exhausting, even when the Lifestream was lending her so much of its power.

Fresh tears and blood from his mouth were running down Cloud's face when she carefully turned him onto his back, her left hand going straight to the entry wound a bit to the right from the middle of his chest. His shirt was dark with blood both on the front and back, and there was a puddle of it around him.

Cloud let out a shuddering breath, accompanied with bloody bubbles of air from his mouth, and fell still.

"Oh no, don't you dare…" Aeris muttered and closed her eyes, once again pulling together the healing energies within her. She wouldn't give up on him.

Sephiroth was laughing at him. Mocking his attempts. Mocking his feelings. Playing with him. It enraged Zack further than he had previously thought possible. At least the anger burned the tears away. It gave him clarity, peace of mind. Calmness to plan his attacks ahead. Make himself more of a threat.

Sephiroth still laughed at him.

"You can't win, Zackery. You are good, I admit that. Were I a mere human, you would be able to hurt me. But I'm not. Not anymore. I am what I was always meant to be. You, Cloud, you all tried to stop me from reaching the destiny bestowed on me at birth. But you can't hold me back any longer."

"Will you _shut the fuck up_?" Zack growled, hunching low, watching Sephiroth's every move, ready to strike.

"What language. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"Shut up!" Zack roared and jumped forward with a series of attacks which actually put Sephiroth on the defense. Once the fighter backed away a little the general's smile had lessened considerably, mostly due to the long, bleeding cuts on his chest and arm.

"Well now. I knew you'd catch up to me. Let's play."

Tseng could see how painfully open Aeris's back was while she leaned over the spellcaster. She was concentrating completely on the healing process, her body almost glowing green with how much energy she was channeling, unaware of the world around her. Not able to see Hojo looming above her.

The professor wouldn't kill her, not when he needed her. But that wouldn't stop him from hurting her.

The Turk groaned as moving his injured hand sent sparks of lighting all the way to his head. Aeris had done a good job at healing it, but he'd lost a lot of blood, and there was only so much one quick healing session could do. Still, he was used to working while in pain. He was a Turk, after all.

And a Turk needed his weapon.

His gun was where he had dropped it, the severed hand still holding it. Hojo was unaware of Tseng moving behind his back as he crawled the few feet to the bloody weapon. That arrogance would be Hojo's downfall. He never thought 'mere humans' could best him.

Tseng concentrated on the thoughts of revenge to ignore the nausea he felt when prying his own dead fingers away from the gun. It was slippery with cold but not yet dried blood, and despite all his training it was still slightly odd to hold the trusted weapon in his off hand. His _only_ hand from now on.

With a steadying deep breath, Tseng stood up, aimed the gun at Hojo's neck and pulled back the safety.

Sephiroth was finally taking him seriously. Zack realized very quickly that it was not really a good thing. He was a fighter, he had fought in a war less than two days ago. But he was first and foremost a diplomat, a peacemaker. He wasn't a violent man, and despite all the training, he was nowhere near Sephiroth's level. Not with all the enhancements in the taller man. Not when he was so hungry and tired. And he was. Aeris's healing hands had helped immensely, but his own body couldn't come up with as much energy and as fast as he would have sorely needed.

Within one minute of more serious fighting, Sephiroth had managed to wound him several times. His left arm was near useless because of a pierced shoulder. It was also bleeding quite a lot.

Despite all the rage and sorrow, Zack wouldn't be able to hold on much longer.

Then the gun went off.

Both fighters stopped and turned to see as Hojo fell to the ground, blood gushing from a smoking bullet hole in his neck. Tseng kicked his falling body so that it didn't collapse on top of Aeris, who was still kneeling over Cloud, deep in concentration. She hadn't apparently noticed Hojo's demise as she muttered quietly.

"Don't give up, Cloud." She said slightly louder, loud enough to be heard in the sudden silence.

Zack snarled and turned to Sephiroth, fueled by anger again. "I'll kill you if it's the last thing I ever do!" The fighter screamed. He was slightly terrified when he realized that he really meant it. He could trust Tseng to get Aeris out of here if something happened to him. She would make sure they'd take Cloud along. They could manage without him. Sephiroth needed to die, and someone had to make sure he did.

Sephiroth didn't seem too disturbed by Hojo's death, but he picked up his attacks a notch, forcing Zack onto the defensive side more often than on the offensive.

The gun went off again, and blood exploded out of Sephiroth's left shoulder.

"You missed." The general growled out to Tseng. "You're too slow!"

Left hand useless for the moment, Sephiroth switched Masamune to the right and tried to push past Zack to get at Tseng, who had by then shot him again, this time catching him on the side, just below the ribcage. But Zack refused to be pushed aside that easily. Sephiroth's attention was mostly on the Turk now, trying to dodge the bullets aimed at him, so he was just a fracture of a second too slow in blocking Zack's sword. The Masamune pierced the fighter's left thigh but not before the Soldier's sword had sunk deep into his right side.

The general growled with the sudden pain and momentary loss of strength that followed, and failed to dodge the bullet that went through his upper chest, breaking his right collar bone.

Zack stumbled back when the Masamune was pulled out of his leg, groaning at the pain but far from giving up. Sephiroth was having trouble using his right hand, so he transferred the long blade back to the left. The bullet still inside his shoulder was hindering his movements on this side as well, and he was again too slow in blocking Zack's sword.

Tseng lowered his gun when the wide blade of the standard Soldier blade sunk deep into Sephiroth's stomach. The general gagged, coughed up blood and dropped the Masamune in an attempt to grab at Zack's sword and pull it out.

Zack was weeping openly as he watched his old friend struggle. A small part of him was screaming with agony at the sight even when his common sense reminded him that this had to happen. Sephiroth, the real Sephiroth, would never have wanted to live like this. He would never have wanted to hurt a loved one, or bring harm on his beloved Wutai.

This was not the man he had known, and this man needed to die so that Sephiroth could rest in peace and the rest of them could continue their lives.

It still didn't mean that this would be easy.

"I'm sorry, Seph… I'm so sorry…" Zack whimpered as he started to limp toward the pool of Lifestream, forcing Sephiroth to back towards it as well. The general seemed unaware of the direction they were going as he was still futilely trying to push away the sword inside of him. His legs didn't quite carry him; the blade must have injured his spine, if not even severed it.

Zack knew that the look of dawning understanding on Sephiroth's face as his feet stumbled into the pool would haunt him for the rest of his days. That, and the following groans of pain as he finally pulled the sword out. He could feel the vibrations in his hand when the metal scratched against bone.

Once the sword was out, Sephiroth collapsed into the pool which swallowed him instantly into its depths.

"I'm so sorry…" Zack cried and fell to his knees, letting the sword slip from his shaking fingers as he watched the last tendrils of silver hair slip under the surface.

Silence fell again, broken only by the quiet sobs. Zack squeezed his eyes shut, trying to calm himself down. They still needed to get out of there.

"What the…"

The violet eyes snapped open at Tseng's horrified words. Zack turned to see what was going on, hand instantly on the hilt of the sword. He gagged when he spotted what had disturbed the Turk so.

Despite the fact that a bullet had been shot into his neck, through his spine and piercing the throat on the way, Hojo wasn't dead. The professor was trying to rise onto his feet, his head lolling lifelessly on the top of his neck.

"Son of a…" Zack swore, feeling bile coming up his throat at the sight. Even Tseng was backing away, his hand shaking as he aimed his gun at the travesty.

One, two, three, not even four bullets stopped Hojo from getting onto his feet and turning towards the fighter. Zack backed away quickly and thought he'd faint from pure disgust when the man in the bloody white coat _spoke_.

"Seeep…h…roth…" It wasn't a human voice anymore. It wasn't quite a whisper, or a gargle, or a groan. It was the twisted voice of obsession.

"Sweet Shiva…" the fighter muttered and twitched when Tseng put a few more bullets into the living dead. Hojo raised one arm towards the pool of Lifestream, and Zack nodded with a hysterical chuckle. "Yeah, Seph's in there. He's probably waiting for you already…"

Hojo's corpse stumbled onto the edge of the pool where it stopped, probably due to some instinctive sense of self-preservation. He stood there, swaying, and called for the dead general again.

Zack fought down a shiver of disgust, stepped closer and raised the sword. "Tooduloo." He then whacked the back of Hojo's lolling head with the flat of the sword's blade, throwing him into the pool. The corpse thrashed a little before the Lifestream swallowed him in, leaving nothing behind.

Zack let the sword fall again and turned to Tseng who was white as a ghost. The Turk turned his dark eyes to him and let out a noise that almost sounded like laughter.

"I… think I need to consider my career options as soon as we're out of here."

The fighter looked at him with his mouth open for a while before he burst into near hysterical laughter. It soon turned to tears, but he didn't try to hide them. He didn't really care whether the Turk thought less of him because of them, but he didn't think so.

It took a little while longer before Aeris let out a huge, long sigh and sat back, rolling her shoulders and groaning a little. Zack, who had come to sit near her, jumped immediately and crawled closer.

"Aeris? You all right?" he asked quietly. He could see that Cloud's chest was moving along his breathing, and that was enough to satisfy him about the spellcaster's well-being for the moment.

"Yes." She answered and smiled, turning to him. "And Cloud will be all right as… Zack? Why are you bleeding?" She took a look around, surprised. Both Hojo and Sephiroth were gone. It felt like she'd been concentrating on Cloud only for a minute or two.

She was about to ask what had happened when Zack let out a small laugh and wrapped his bloody arms around her, squeezing her tight against his chest. He was sobbing a little as he buried his face into her hair.

"It's over, babe. It's over."

_After all the nights  
I sat alone and wept  
Just a handful of promises  
Are all that's left of loving you_

When Cloud woke up again Sephiroth was gone. So was Hojo. Zack and Aeris were both kneeling over him, their faces full of worry and tears. Tseng was also standing nearby, his expression neutral.

He didn't ask after Sephiroth. He didn't want to know right then. The man wasn't there, so it was likely he wouldn't see those green eyes again. Aeris assured him that he would be fine, he just needed a lot of rest. So there would be a lot of time to find out what hat happened after Sephiroth had…

The thought of the general's final act against him hurt almost as much as the sword passing though his torso had hurt, which was almost as bad as the fact that Sephiroth was truly gone. Unreachable, both body and mind. Hojo had won, he had managed to part the lovers. Cloud thought that it would take a long time before he could be happy again. But he did feel, in a strange way, free.

It was over. Sephiroth was gone.

It was over.

Aeris was weak after all the healing she'd done, so she and Tseng lend each other strength as they started the long walk back to the outside world. Zack had to pretty much carry Cloud, but the torch that Aeris used to light their path made the journey easier. They even woke the Soldier they almost stumbled over in the tunnel, and he helped Zack carry the spellcaster between them as Cloud's own feet refused to carry him after he'd lost so much blood. He wanted to feel annoyed or ashamed because of it, but at that moment he really couldn't bring himself to care about such a petty thing as pride.

The sun was hanging low in the western sky once they got out, and a cool wind had risen, bringing with it dark, heavy clouds which threatened to cover the late afternoon sky and all its brilliant colours. They took a moment to rest before climbing over the gap and onto the path. The Soldier had no trouble managing the narrow path with Cloud slung over one shoulder, even though the blond now protested a little to being carried around like a rolled-up carpet.

Aeris and Zack caught each other's hands as soon as they were over the gap, and didn't let go.

On the way down the mountain, as the clouds above darkened the afternoon to the dimness of evening, thunder rumbling in the distance, they started to remember that even though they had survived through that particular hell, the world was still at war around them. Wutai was under siege, there was a large hostile army not far from them, and the ShinRa HQ had been conquered by rebels from the slums.

"You know what?" Zack said as he sat down heavily with a long sigh. Aeris sat beside him and leaned her head against his shoulder, savouring the chance to relax for a moment. Tseng had wandered off a little once they'd reached the ground level, talking on his PHS, already deep into planning how to get Rufus into the HQ. The Soldier looked around nervously before lowering Cloud to the ground, next to the fighter.

"What, Zack?" Aeris asked when the violet-eyed man tugged Cloud's upper body into his lap. The spellcaster stared up at them, too numb to speak. At least he wasn't crying anymore.

Zack thought in silence for a moment longer before nodding. "Fuck it all. Let's go home."

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**A.N:** Reflections (the song): Diana Ross/Supremes (Brian Holland/Lamont Dozier/Edward Holland, Jr.) Another song that has set the mood for this little story. It's also one gosh darn pretty song.

This is the end, my friends. I hope you've enjoyed the ride. There's still an epilogue to come as soon as it is finished. Thank you for the reviews, thank you for reading. I hope this has been a story worth your time. Reviews are loved and adored and used to fanning the flame of writing more.


	21. Epilogue: Darling

One final time: I own nothing.

This is for all of you. Thank you for your company.

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**Epilogue**

**Darling**

**.  
**

_Darling, I don't wanna learn  
to bear the other side of you.  
Oh, darling, I just keep on loving the one,  
the one I knew,  
the one I knew._

Cloud was lying on his back in the flower bench of Aeris's church in Midgar. It was the first time he had dared to come here after their return to the metropolis. For months he had been successfully avoiding the place, circling around it on his way to wherever he needed to go, or waiting outside for Aeris and Zack. The flower girl had managed to coax the flowers back into full bloom –and then some- and her strengthened connection to the Lifestream had made the church a place where she could now easily talk with her birth mother.

She believed that, if anywhere in Midgar, this was the place he needed to be for this.

The scent of the flowers around him was almost intoxicating. It was so easy to just close his eyes and relax, let every muscle in his body settle down and his mind wander while his fingers, deep in the living earth, anchored him securely into the real world. Let all the nervousness just go.

"It's been a year now, since you left me. It's taken me a long time to figure everything out. What was real, what was Hojo's lies. Where you ended and that… general from ShinRa started. I'd already grieved for you once, before Wutai. So it doesn't seem fair that I'm still hurting. I'm sure you wouldn't want that, but I can't help it. Not today, at least."

His voice was soft enough that a person standing next to the reclining spellcaster couldn't have heard him. The soft murmur from people moving and walking outside the church was louder, even when it barely reached him through the not-so-sturdy walls.

The slums had certainly changed since he'd first come here. The area seemed cleaner for one, even if just a little bit. Apparently the attack on the HQ had brought many of the slum dwellers together like never before, and after returning to their homes they had taken upon themselves to make it a better place to live in. It was a nice change, one of the most noticeable ones in Midgar. But not the only one. Two reactors were working at only half capacity, and two more were scheduled to follow their example within the next month. The company was working towards finding other forms of energy, and eventually they would be closing down all of the reactors. It wouldn't happen soon, probably not in the next decade even, but it was a start.

"I don't blame you for what he did. You should know that, but you were always a bit at a loss on what to feel guilty for and what not. Not like I am much better. But just to make it clear, I don't blame you. I was hoping… I still do… that things could have ended differently. That you would have been real, and stayed by my side. Following you out of this world seems like a better idea some days than staying here on my own. Even when I'm not alone. I mean, Zack and Aeris are with me. Cid, Vincent and Elmyra are here as well. But I'm still alone when you're not by my side."

The way home had turned out to be longer than they had thought. It had taken a long time and many phone calls from Tseng before they could head over to Wutai's capital without fear of being killed. It took even longer to get the ShinRa soldiers to retreat and leave the Wutaians alone. Longer still to get the HQ in order and Rufus flown in, to take over after his father. And the paperwork for getting all the troops out of Wutai… they had thought it would never be done.

Once peace reigned again, the airship had brought Yuffie and the children back to Wutai. The young girl took her position as the leader solemnly, and had soon eagerly started to get people working on bringing the country back to its old glory. Basically all surviving Peacemakers, including their friends, had stayed back to help; the masters had decided to start their new headquarters here.

"We left Wutai a few months after Yuffie returned with the kids. It just seemed to be the time to leave. And it was good to finally get away from… all those… memories. Zack had nightmares for months. Pretty much until we left. So did I, when I managed to sleep. That reminds me. Your mom's doing fine. As well as can be expected, at least. A lot of people were hurt in the battles, but surprisingly few died because Godo surrendered so soon. Rufus, the new President ShinRa, has agreed to leave the island alone. He's not a bad guy, I guess.

"We got a lift to Midgar with an airship. Elmyra was still here, and we wanted to check out what had happened. Tseng had come back the first chance he'd got, to make sure Rufus could come back."

They'd found Cid, Vincent and Elmyra in the house she and Aeris had lived in. The garden was radiant as ever, and the house was freshly painted to light yellow. Cid had pounced on them from the second floor window he had been fixing, taking down both Cloud and Zack in his glee at seeing them again. He had admitted to being a little drunk.

Elmyra had gushed over them all, Aeris the longest, and stuffed them full of tea, cake and cookies while Cid explained their parts in bringing down ShinRa. Zack had then told the three something of their adventures in Wutai, but most of it had still been too painful to be shared. The listeners understood, and didn't push the matter. There would be time to talk of it all.

"Since then we've been living here in the slums, helping with all the rebuilding that's going on. I really don't know whether all this will ever amount to anything, or whether Rufus will forget his pretty promises, and people will be lulled back to thinking that that's the way things should be. But for now, things are changing. So I guess I did something right back in Wutai when I broke the pig's neck.

"It's been really busy here, there's always something to fix or someone to help. So that's why I haven't really gotten a chance to… talk to you. No. That's not right. I've been avoiding doing this. It still hurts, knowing that you're gone. I don't even know if you can hear me. Aeris thinks so. It gets a bit easier, every day. Aeris and Zack are a big help. They're really happy together, and good for each other. With the house so full they don't get too much time alone. I try to tell them to enjoy it when they can, but they still insist on dragging me along to where ever they go. It's… kind of nice."

Tseng had invited them to visit the HQ one day, and they had got to meet the new President. He looked only a little like his father, and from first impression it was clear the appearance was the biggest thing the two men had in common. All the other three Turks had survived the slum mutiny, even though Reno did walk with a limp and Elena had several burn scars. It had been amusing to see Reno wobbling fast in the opposite direction when he'd spotted Cid and Vincent.

They had also met two of Rufus's executives, a man called Reeve who had been working under the last President but was only too happy with his new boss. The other man, called Barret, had seemed very uncomfortable in his tidy suit, and his swearing after Rufus had left the small group was enough to make several pairs of ears burn. Cid had introduced him as one of the leaders of the slum mutiny; indeed, Barret had been taken into the company to make sure that the people in the slums were not forgotten. He was certainly very passionate about his part, even when he had very strong opinions on where Rufus could stick his dress code.

"We've been talking about leaving. I mean, Zack, Aeris and me. We've been here a long time. Zack's getting bored. You know what he's like. Midgar's not going to need us here. We've done enough. So, umm… since it's been a year, and if we're leaving soon… I figured I can't put this off much longer."

Hojo's laboratory had been emptied as one of the first things done while fixing up the ShinRa tower. All his specimens had either been set free or put down. Most were barely sentient, but there had been a few exceptions. According to Reeve, one of them had been a large red creature resembling a cross between a wolf and a lion, which had actually thanked them kindly when he'd been set free.

ShinRa, as everyone had known it, was no longer.

"When… when you died. It hurt so much, that I think that if I had seen you go, I would have followed. Even when it wasn't you. I'm… I'm still remembering all the things we talked about. All those dreams. I didn't know how I could go on for the longest time. I still… I mean…"

He was crying now, had been for a good while already. This was why he had been avoiding the church. It really was a holy place, and he couldn't hide his pain anymore. Everything was coming out, whether he wanted to or not.

"We never got to say goodbye. So. Umm. If you can hear me… please… Sephiroth… it would mean the world to me, to hear your voice. Just one more time."

It felt like he was drifting, even when his back was firmly on the soft earth. When he opened his eyes a little the flowers seemed to tower over him. They were just brightly coloured blurs in the sudden light that filled the church. There was a warm breeze, sunlight on his skin, sound of water slipping lazily past him in his ears. It was all impossible; he was inside a building beneath the Midgar plate. There was no real sunlight here. No natural water running. No wind.

Cloud blinked his eyes a couple of times to clear the tears away, and the bright world turned green. Green as the Lifestream. Green as Sephiroth's eyes. And for a moment the love of his life was there, laying on his chest, looking into his eyes, smiling at him. Sephiroth's silvery hair fell around them, forming a curtain between them and the flowers, hiding the two of them in their own little world.

'Hello, love…'

"I miss you, Seph…"

'We'll be together again.'

Cloud had no more words, not when those ethereal lips pressed ever so gently on his. He closed his eyes, feeling warm, loved and safe. Happy.

"Cloud? You ok?"

The spellcaster started awake, blinking away tears old and new. Zack's violet eyes were right in front of him, an unsure smile on that tanned face of his.

"Uh," was the blond's eloquent answer. It made the fighter laugh and stand up a bit straighter.

"Sorry. You've been here a long time. Aeris sent me to get you. Dinner's almost done."

"Oh. Okay." Cloud muttered, clearing his throat and wiping his eyes dry. He offered Zack a smile when the taller man pulled him up.

"So I take it that things went well?" the fighter asked carefully, fussing over him, dusting off his clothes, letting his hands linger on the spellcaster a little longer than the simple cleaning gestures required.

Cloud nodded, not ready to talk about it yet.

"Cool." Zack said and grinned. The nod was all he needed to know. "So hey, Aeris and I were thinking. How about we head to North Corel? It's just a small hike from there to Nibelheim, you know…"

"Zack, no. Mom would kick my ass for not getting back sooner." Cloud shook his head, smiling a little.

"Well, all the better to go there as soon as we can then! The longer you wait, the harder your punishment."

"Hmm…" Cloud hummed and they fell silent, pondering their options.

"We don't have to decide now. We're free to go anywhere. Sky's the limit." Zack said with an easy grin as he threw an arm around Cloud's shoulder. The blond nodded and they walked out of the church, back home where Aeris was waiting for them.

Sephiroth had disappeared as soon as he had opened his eyes again. But it was all right.

They would see each other again.

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A.N: The end. Wheee! It's… kind of happy, right? Thank you for reading, thank you for the comments. Hugs, flowers, Zack's and cookies to all of you!

Lyrics from 'Darling' by Your Friend George.

Reflections 17.2.2003 - 15.11.2007


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